Dark Souls Impressions - The FINAL Update

CURRENT EQUIPMENT (outdated):

Video Archive

Test video
Silly Black Knight Glitch(?)
Heh
vs. Gaping Dragon
vs. Chaos Witch Quelaag
vs. Moonlight Butterfly
vs. Iron Golem (no commentary)
vs. Lautrec of Carim (no commentary)
vs. Ornstein & Smough
Ugly armor
Ugh
Sep7agon AMA - Part 2
vs. Great Grey Wolf Sif
Illusory walls are a fun and interesting mechanic
Montage Draft
vs. Four Kings
vs. Pinwheel
what is this skulduggery
vs. Gravelord Nito (+ Ceaseless Discharge)
vs. Demon Firesage (+ Centipede Demon)
vs. Bed of Chaos
vs. Stray Demon (no commentary)

Update #01.0 - OMG I BEAT THE TUTORIAL
Update #01.5 - Firelink Shrine Shenanigans
Update #02.0 - Getting Good
Update #03.0 - Oh boy, here we go.
Update #03.5 - Rookie Mistakes
Update #04.0 - The Morning Star
Update #05.0 - Overcoming My Demons
Update #06.0 - Rats, Knights, & Other Tedium
Update #07.0 - Slack Knight
Update #07.5 - Getting Gooder
Update #08.0 - Oh, the Humanity...
Update #09.0 - Fuck You, Goliath
Update #10.0 - Fuck You, Goliath II
Update #11.0 - More like CRAPricorn
Update #12.0 - Depths of the Evil Eye
Update #13.0 - Blighttown Blunders
Update #14.0 - Fire-Forged Revengeance
Update #15.0 - Quelaag's of Battle Creek
Update #16.0 - Poised in the Moonlight
Update #16.5 - Aggro Acrimony
Update #17.0 - Liberty is a Spook
Update #18.0 - No Step on Snek
Update #19.0 - Painted Preliminary
Update #19.5 - The Darkmoon Rises
Update #20.0 - (((Ornstein & Smough)))
Update #20.5 - Shitty Xmas-themed Duke's Archives Poem
Update #21.0 - There's a Meth Joke in Here Somewhere...
Update #22.0 - A Scent and a Sound
Update #23.0 - A Desperate Dilemma
Update #24.0 - PASTY WHITE BOY FUCKED BY FOUR STUDS IN STEAMY FIVESOME
Update #25.0 - Don't Give Up, Skeleton!
Update #25.5 - ...Consider giving up, skeleton.
Update #27.0 - That's Real Fuckin' Nito
Update #28.0 - More Likely Than You Think
Update #29.0 - Bed Witch
Update #30.0 - Painted by the Numbers

Inventory

Consumables

Estus Flask+4 (15)
Orange Guidance Soapstone (1)
White Sign Soapstone (1)
Sunlight Medal (5)
Cracked Red Eye Orb (1)
Blue Eye Orb
Eye of Death (5)
Black Separation Crystal (1)
Book of the Guilty (1)
Indictment (1)
Servant Roster (1)
Green Blossom (2)
Bloodred Moss Clump (68)
Purple Moss Clump (21)
Blooming Purple Moss Clump (15)
Purging Stone (4)
Egg Vermifuge (2)
Firebomb (99)
Black Firebomb (8)
Divine Blessing (1)
Throwing Knife (99)
Repair Powder (10)
Poison Throwing Knife (10)
Dung Pie (20)
Charcoal Pine Resin (3)
Lloyd's Talisman (5)
Gold Pine Resin (3)
Alluring Skull (10)
Rotten Pine Resin (3)
Homeward Bone (5)
Prism Stone (99)
Transient Curse (8)
Binoculars (1)
Soul of a Lost Undead (2)
Large Soul of a Lost Undead (1)
Soul of a Nameless Soldier (1)
Large Soul of a Nameless Soldier (1)
Soul of a Proud Knight (5)
Large Soul of a Proud Knight (2)
Soul of a Brave Warrior (6)
Large Soul of a Brave Warrior (2)
Soul of a Hero (1)
Soul of a Great Hero (1)
Soul of Quelaag (1)
Core of an Iron Golem (1)
Soul of Smough (1)
Soul of Sif (1)
Rubbish (1)
Copper Coin (1)
Darksign (1)
Humanity (12)
Twin Humanities (1)
Pendant (1)
Silver Coin (5)
Gold Coin (1)

Titanite

Titanite Shard (11)
Large Titanite Shard (22)
Titanite Slab (1)
Green Titanite Shard (2)
Blue Titanite Chunk (1)
Red Titanite Chunk (1)
White Titanite Chunk (2)
Twinkling Titanite (3)
Dragon Scale (8)

Keys & Tools

Repairbox (1)
Weapon Smithbox (1)
Armor Smithbox (1)
Bottomless Box (1)
Rite of Kindling (1)
Peculiar Doll (1)
Master Key (1)
Crest of Artorias (1)
Dungeon Cell Key (1)
Undead Asylum F2 East Key (1)
Undead Asylum F2 West Key (1)
Big Pilgrim's Key (1)
Residence Key (1)
Mystery Key (1)
Basement Key (1)
Key to Depths (1)
Watchtower Basement Key (1)
Sewer Chamber Key (1)
Blighttown Key (1)
Key to New Londo Ruins (1)
Key to the Seal (1)
Cage Key (1)
Archive Tower Cell Key (1)
Archive Prison Extra Key (1)
Archive Tower Giant Cell Key (1)
Archive Tower Giant Door Key (1)

Scrolls

Great Magic Weapon
Strong Magic Shield
Aural Decoy
Fall Control
Hidden Weapon
Hidden Body
Cast Light
Chameleon
Remedy
Resist Curse
Fireball
Fire Orb
Combustion
Chaos Fire Whip
Poison Mist
Flash Sweat
Iron Flesh
Power Within
Heal
Great Heal Excerpt
Soothing Sunlight
Replenishment
Bountiful Sunlight
Force
Emit Force
Great Magic Barrier

Weapons & Shields

Favorites

Bandit's Knife+6
Divine Longsword
Balder Side Sword+6
Astora's Straight Sword+5
Zweihander
Divine Scimitar
Divine Falchion
Divine Iaito
Gargoyle Tail Axe+5
Morning Star+6
Lightning Spear
Winged Spear+10
Longbow+6
Black Bow of Pharis+6
Sniper Crossbow+6
Pyromancy Flame+11
Target Shield
Crystal Knight Shield
Balder Shield
Grass Crest Shield+10
Dragon Crest Shield
Black Knight Shield
Eagle Shield+6

Dagger
Parrying Dagger
Bandit's Knife+10
Shortsword
Divine Longsword+5
Broadsword
Balder Side Sword+10
Sunlight Straight Sword
Barbed Straight Sword
Crystal Straight Sword
Silv. Knight Str. Sword
Astora's Straight Sword+5
Broken Straight Sword
Straight Sword Hilt+5
Bastard Sword
Claymore
Man-serpent Greatsword
Greatsword
Zweihander
Demon Great Machete
Divine Scimitar+5
Enchanted Falchion
Shotel
Jagged Ghost Blade
Server
Divine Iaito
Mail Breaker
Rapier
Estoc
Ricard's Rapier
Hand Axe
Battle Axe
Butcher Knife
Fire Gargoyle Tail Axe+10
Crescent Axe
Greataxe
Occult Club
Reinforced Club
Mace
Divine Morning Star+9
Warpick
Pickaxe
Large Club
Great Club
Dragon Tooth
Spear
Moonlight Butterfly Horn+5
Winged Spear+12
Partizan
Pike
Demon's Spear+3
Crystal Halberd
Lucerne
Scythe
Giant's Halberd
Titanite Catch Pole
Black Knight Halberd
Great Scythe
Caestus
Dark Hand
Short Bow
Composite Bow
Lightning Longbow
Black Bow of Pharis+10
Dragonslayer Greatbow
Light Crossbow
Heavy Crossbow+6
Sniper Crossbow+6
Sorcerer's Catalyst
Oolacile Ivory Catalyst
Demon's Catalyst
Izalith Catalyst
Tin Banishment Catalyst
Pyromancy Flame+15
Talisman
Canvas Talisman
Thorolund Talisman
Sunlight Talisman
Velka's Talisman
Warrior's Round Shield
Skull Lantern
Warrior's Round Shield
Caduceus Round Shield
Effigy Shield
Red and White Round Shield
Cracked Round Shield
Plank Shield
Small Leather Shield
Leather Shield
Buckler
Target Shield
East-West Shield
Wooden Shield
Large Leather Shield
Heater Shield
Tower Kite Shield
Caduceus Kite Shield
Hollow Soldier Shield
Crystal Knight Shield
Balder Shield
Spider Shield
Grass Crest Shield+11
Sunlight Shield
Pierce Shield
Spiked Shield
Crest Shield
Dragon Crest Shield
Silver Knight Shield
Black Knight Shield
Eagle Shield+12
Tower Shield
Black Iron Greatshield
Giant Shield
Havel's Greatshield

Bolts & Arrows

Wood Bolt (50)
Heavy Bolt (10)
Wooden Arrow (101)
Standard Arrow (602)
Large Arrow (200)
Feather Arrow (5)
Fire Arrow (32)
Poison Arrow (25)
Moonlight Arrow (5)
Dragonslayer Arrow (10)
Standard Bolt (91)
Sniper Bolt (50)
Lightning Bolt (20)

Armors

Standard Helm+3
Hard Leather Armor+3
Hard Leather Gauntlets+3
Hard Leather Boots+3
Chain Helm
Chain Armor
Leather Gauntlets
Chain Leggings
Knight Helm
Knight Armor
Knight Gauntlets
Knight Leggings
Elite Knight Helm
Elite Knight Armor
Elite Knight Gauntlets
Elite Knight Leggings
Wanderer Hood+9
Wanderer Coat+9
Wanderer Manchette+9
Wanderer Boots+9
Thief Mask
Black Leather Armor
Black Leather Gloves
Black Leather Boots
Brigand Hood
Brigand Armor
Brigand Gauntlets
Brigand Trousers
Leather Armor
Leather Gloves
Leather Boots
Sorcerer Hat
Sorcerer Cloak
Sorcerer Gauntlets
Sorcerer Boots
Tattered Cloth Hood
Tattered Cloth Robe
Tattered Cloth Manchette
Heavy Boots
Priest's Hat
Holy Robe
Traveling Gloves
Holy Trousers
Iron Helm
Armor of the Sun
Iron Bracelet
Iron Leggings
Black Iron Helm
Black Iron Armor
Black Iron Gauntlets
Black Iron Leggings
Crystalline Helm
Crystalline Armor
Crystalline Gauntlets
Crystalline Leggings
Pharis's Hat
Mask of the Sealer
Crimson Robe
Crimson Gloves
Crimson Waistcloth
Gold-Hemmed Black Good
Gold-Hemmed Black Cloak
Gold-Hemmed Black Gloves
Gold-Hemmed Black Skirt
Maiden Hood
Maiden Robe
Maiden Gloves
Maiden Skirt
Dingy Hood
Dingy Robe
Dingy Gloves
Blood-Stained Skirt
Eastern Helm+3
Eastern Armor+3
Eastern Gauntlets+3
Eastern Leggings+3
Shadow Mask
Shadow Garb
Shadow Gauntlets
Shadow Leggings
Hollow Warrior Helm
Hollow Warrior Armor
Hollow Warrior Waistcloth
Hollow Soldier Helm
Hollow Soldier Armor
Hollow Soldier Waistcloth
Balder Helm
Balder Armor
Balder Gauntlets
Balder Leggings
Hollow Thief's Hood
Hollow Thief's Leather Armor
Hollow Thief's Tights
Silver Knight Helm
Silver Knight Armor
Silver Knight Gauntlets
Silver Knight Leggings
Six-Eyed Helm of the Channelers
Robe of the Channelers
Gauntlets of the Channelers
Waistcloth of the Channelers
Helm of Favor
Embraced Armor of Favor
Gauntlets of Favor
Leggings of Favor
Paladin Helm
Paladin Armor
Paladin Gauntlets
Paladin Leggings
Havel's Helm
Havel's Armor
Havel's Gauntlets
Havel's Leggings
Mask of the Father
Symbol of Avarice

Rings

Tiny Being's Ring
Cloranthy Ring
Havel's Ring
Ring of Steel Protection
Flame Stoneplate Ring
Bloodbite Ring
Poisonbite Ring
Cursebite Ring
Blue Tearstone Ring
Rare Ring of Sacrifice
Dusk Crown Ring
White Seance Ring
Darkmoon Seance Ring
Ring of the Sun's Firstborn
Darkmoon Blade Covenant Ring
Ring of the Sun Princess
Wolf Ring
Hornet Ring
Rusted Iron Ring
Covetous Gold Serpent Ring
Covetous Silver Serpent Ring
Covenant of Artorias
Orange Charred Ring
Cat Covenant Ring
Ring of Favor and Protection
Ring of the Evil Eye

Bottomless Box

Empty

Major Boss Hitlist

Asylum Demon
Bed of Chaos
Bell Gargoyles
Capra Demon
Ceaseless Discharge
Centipede Demon
Chaos Witch Quelaag
Crossbreed Priscilla (spared)
Dark Sun Gwyndolin (spared)
Demon Firesage
Dragon Slayer Ornstein & Executioner Smough
Four Kings
Gaping Dragon
Gravelord Nito
Gwyn, Lord of Cinder
Iron Golem
Moonlight Butterfly
Pinwheel
Seath the Scaleless
Sif, the Great Grey Wolf
Stray Demon
Taurus Demon

Allow me to get this joke out of the way:

Holy shit, Verb's gonna play Dark Souls! Maybe this time, he'll actually figure out how to beat the tutorial! LMAO

That said, for the sake of context, I thought I'd just go over my history with this game, for those of you who may not be aware.

The first and last time I played Dark Souls was exactly two years ago. Dark Souls II was on the horizon, and I had never even touched a Souls game before then. One day, as I was chatting away with my Bnet friends in an IRC ('cause that's where we migrated to after the update), one of them starts telling me about Dark Souls, and how she really wants me to play it.

Now, this person never recommends me anything, ever, so right off the bat, my interest was piqued. I started asking her about it, and she told me that the game actually seemed "perfect" for me. Now, "perfect" is a very, very strong word to use--but this person knows me. We've been arguing about our taste in games for years, so we know our tastes rather well. So, at that point, I thought about playing it, but for whatever reason, I put it off.

But then every day since that conversation, she's telling me about this game, how awesome it would be if I were to pick it up, and how "perfectly" the game suits my tastes. She really, really wants me to play this game.

So I said, "Fuck it, I'll go out and buy it." And I did.

Started playing it... aaaaaaaaand right away, I had problems with it. Now, keep in mind--my expectations are at their fucking maximum, because she propped this game up so high. So, when I discovered that this was that one game I heard about that allows you to place stupid, misleading, and trollish messages all over the place, as well as invade other people's games to try to steal their shit from them?... I was upset. I was very upset. That's the exact opposite of what I like to see in a video game. And in a petty, deranged sort of way, I felt a little betrayed. Like, how could she possibly recommend me this game, and tell me that it's "perfect" for me, when it has game mechanics like this? Not only that--how could anyone like this game when it has mechanics like this?

I stopped playing before I even finished the tutorial, because I thought I'd seen enough. We argued about it for awhile, and it ended kinda badly. Obviously, she was upset at me for getting so hung up over a couple of mechanics that she considers minor and excusable, and I was upset at her, still, for basically setting my expectations so fucking high.

About a year later, my experiences with Dark Souls became public, and everyone has pretty much twisted my experience in ridiculous ways--usually just to taunt me, but a lot of people are still under the impression that the tutorial was "too difficult" for me, and that I don't like Dark Souls based on its difficulty alone. Which is not true--I've played and beaten difficult-ass games before, like Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Difficulty doesn't bother me at all--it's the fact that the game has this shitheaded game mechanic that allows you to invade players without their consent. I don't see how anyone could possibly enjoy that--and that's my main complaint with Dark Souls. That bullshit.

Nonetheless, the Dark Souls community has given me very little sympathy--and as such, I've grown to absolutely despise Dark Souls fans and their precious little untouchable franchise. There was even a period of time where hearing about Dark Souls would instantly put me in a bad mood--I hated the series and its fans that much.

A year later, here we are. Out of a weird sense of "duty," I feel like I owe it to myself, the people I've argued with, and my friend who initially recommended the game to me in the first place (who is a member of this site now--and she can identify herself if she wants to) to finally play and finish this game. Give it a fair shot.

So yeah.

I'll start playing later in the afternoon. Uni is probably going to dictate how often I'll get to play this game.

I take morning classes, and I have a lab to attend to on Wednesdays from 2:00 to about 5:00, so yeah.

It was me

I'm the friend

hahaha

No, not really. I wouldn't say this game is perfect because I'm not stupid.

I'm playing Dark Souls 2 again

I forgot how bad the character models are. Don't worry about your look, Verb. You'll be covered in armor anyway.

Are we allowed to post tips?

First playthroughs should always be experienced without telling him a build he should do, or what to do first. Just general rules of never using firekeeper souls, if enemies are way too strong in one area, maybe you're not ready yet and can go someplace else, leveling resistance is worthless, and.... exhaust all NPC dialogue and don't attack any friendly NPC's (for the most part).

inb4memes
inb4he'sback

I want to answer lore questions.

I like dark souls lore and I don't have people to talk to about it which makes me sad.

Are we allowed to post tips?

No thank you, unless I ask for it. Which I probably won't.

I'm playing Dark Souls 2 again

I forgot how bad the character models are. Don't worry about your look, Verb. You'll be covered in armor anyway.

I'll have you know my handsome box jawline mustached character Mgubbins looks quite dashing under his tiny eyed, fuzzy browed squint.

Spoiler

It was me

I'm the friend

hahaha

No, not really. I wouldn't say this game is perfect because I'm not stupid.

To be fair, she never said it was perfect on its own--just perfect for me. She just didn't at all expect me to be bothered by the invasions or the misleading hint system, because we had never really discussed anything like that before.

I mean, I'm sure I'll come across some other imperfections along the way, but yeah. This was years ago. You live and you learn.

Yeah souls games can be vague as fuck

I'm taking all bets.

Verb dies on his first visit and passing through Sen's Funhouse.

I'm taking all bets.

Verb dies on his first visit and passing through Sen's Funhouse.

not exactly a bold speculation

i'm playing dark souls--i'm probably gonna die a couple times

Just one tip Verb, by the way. Exploration can be your friend if done carefully and you use your eyes and ears well. There's some spots with hidden bonfires that can really shorten the trip to a boss or area if you happen to die so that you don't have to backpack through an entire area again.

I'm taking all bets.

Verb dies on his first visit and passing through Sen's Funhouse.

not exactly a bold speculation

i'm playing dark souls--i'm probably gonna die a couple times

Aha, but Sen's Funhouse is THE place to die at. Which is really funny, actually, because half the deaths in that place just happen because you hesitate and get tense. It's got more bark than bite.

But, to be fair, the place gives you good reason to hesitate at some spots.

Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

Anyways, don't get tripped up on the messages while you play. The vast majority are helpful, like a notice about an ambush or what strategy to use, or just in-jokes that are fun to see ("you're in the know, right?", "praise the sun", "let us cleanse these foul streets", etc). Honestly, I can't even recall a single instance where a message was purposefully misleading except as an obvious, tongue-in-cheek joke (like "try jumping" in front of a cliff, or "I can't take this" in front of a tough boss).

You know, dark souls 2 is easier......

You know, dark souls 2 is easier......

Depends, actually. I've probably had a lot more deaths in 2 than in the first one. Mainly because 2 can throw some really cheap shit your way.

There was never a single encounter in the first souls game that had you dealing with 11 something, hard hitting/stunlocking enemies at the same time or six mini-bosses at the same time. I mean sure there's a fuck load of healing options, way more than the first game.

But I'd like to see you try and heal when you're getting stun locked by 12 dogs and some cunt with a spear in a tiny boxed in area.

Or just play pre-patch shrine of amana without a ranged weapon and see how that works out.

Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

I didn't.

Just because you couldn't beat him on your first try doesn't mean others couldn't.

You know, dark souls 2 is easier......

Depends, actually. I've probably had a lot more deaths in 2 than in the first one. Mainly because 2 can throw some really cheap shit your way.

There was never a single encounter in the first souls game that had you dealing with 11 something, hard hitting/stunlocking enemies at the same time or six mini-bosses at the same time. I mean sure there's a fuck load of healing options, way more than the first game.

But I'd like to see you try and heal when you're getting stun locked by 12 dogs and some cunt with a spear in a tiny boxed in area.

Or just play pre-patch shrine of amana without a ranged weapon and see how that works out.

Artificial difficulty by throwing adds at you!

Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

I didn't.

Just because you couldn't beat him on your first try doesn't mean others couldn't.

That's fine, I just don't believe you.

Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

I didn't.

Just because you couldn't beat him on your first try doesn't mean others couldn't.

That's fine, I just don't believe you.

git gud

Dark Souls has the worst memes. I'll just start off by saying that.


Should be able to start playing in a couple hours or so.

Dark Souls has the worst memes. I'll just start off by saying that.


Should be able to start playing in a couple hours or so.

the community has the most hilarious videos, though.

Too bad you'll get annoyed by some characters/phrases because of their meme status - fortunately enough only few memetic aspects of the game truly went viral, like the aforementioned phrase 'praise the sun'.

Mmmmmmm.........mmmmmmm......oh ho!

Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

I didn't.

Just because you couldn't beat him on your first try doesn't mean others couldn't.

That's fine, I just don't believe you.

I didn't die the first time.

>Not spamming him with bombs

Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

I didn't.

Just because you couldn't beat him on your first try doesn't mean others couldn't.

That's fine, I just don't believe you.

I didn't die the first time.

>Not spamming him with bombs

>researching bosses instead of going in blind the first time and getting massacred