<- Previous update: Fuck You, Goliath
- Discovered the lower part of the Undead Burg
- Rescued Griggs of Vinheim
- Lost 10,000 souls during a grinding accident
- Gave up on saving up for the Crest of Artorias
- Fought the Bell Gargoyles; lost
Pretty much all of you neglected to notice something in the last update, so allow me to assist you:
For a few moments after that death, I was kind of at a loss for what to do. I'm thinking to myself, How in the fuck am I supposed to fight two of these things at once?... What made matters worse were all these people telling me that they beat this boss on their first try. I'm just like, fucking how?
...Then I realized.
...Then I realized.
That's right--after my first two attempts, I suddenly realized that I was completely forgetting something: There's a summon sign
just before the foggy gate. I could literally just summon Solaire, and victory would be mine.
You can only see summon signs when you're human, though, which is why I forgot about it--but I picked up bits of itemized Humanity back in the Burg, so... in thinking about it, I could easily take advantage of that, if I wanted to.
I sat at the bonfire, contemplating my options. Summoning Solaire was my best bet, by far. But it seems as though a lot of people are expecting me to go in solo. It would certainly be a lot cooler if I did, but I just don't know if I have the patience--but I don't necessarily want to "disappoint" anyone, either. But none
of my weapons are ideal for fighting two giant enemies at once--not even my trusty spear. Maybe if I could fire two arrows with my Longbow at once, I could stand a chance, but I'm just not well-equipped enough.
So my only hope of defeating the gargoyles by myself is if I did some extraordinarily
cheesy shit. Like, fucking mozzarella. I'm talking running back and forth between the two ends of the roof all day, and waiting for the inevitable opening. I realize there's no shame in that, but that just doesn't seem like a whole lot of fun to me. That doesn't seem "legitimate" to me. I had to start thinking of alternatives, so I decided to relegate Solaire to a last resort option.
I shuffled through my inventory, searching for some kind of item that I could maybe
put to use. I knew I hadn't exhausted every possibility.
Gold Pine Resin? That's something I picked up a long time ago. It electrifies your weapon, giving it lightning properties. So perhaps, by Pokémon logic, the Flying-type gargoyles will have their wings clipped by the lightning... or some shit like that. It was looking like a pretty solid idea, until I realized I only had two
. Pine Resins don't last, so I'm gonna have to make every hit count. If I fuck up, it's gone for good. I can't purchase this stuff anywhere else, as far as I'm aware.
I had a tough choice to make. Either I could solo the boss with Gold Pine Resin (which may or may not even work
as a strategy), or be a lame-ass casual and summon Solaire. Or I could do both, but that poses its own set of risks. I spent quite some time in rumination.
What I ultimately decided was a bit of a compromise: At first, I'll go in solo for the last time, with my Pine Resin strategy. Should I fail, I'll use a Bone to escape, after recovering my souls (for I had gathered a fair amount). After leveling up a couple times at the bonfire, I'll summon Solaire. Hopefully by then, I'll still have one Resin left over.
I applied the Pine Resin to my Winged Spear+3 before I crossed the gate, deciding not to apply it to my Longbow. Previously, my spear was doing a fairly heft amount of damage--100 damage per strong strike. I can only pray that the added lightning properties will help it do more.
And it did. After the first gargoyle made its initial plunge, I instinctively rolled to the side, and counterstruck him for a whopping 150 damage. All right, that's pretty great. Now that I know his weakness, I thought to myself that I didn't need to worry anymore. Taking a slight detour from the plan, I recovered my souls and transported myself back to the bonfire, so I could level up a couple times, increasing my strength and vitality. 150 damage is far
more than I expected, so I knew I could afford to do this. I still had one left.
After returning, I just started wailing
on the first gargoyle. He couldn't get a single hit in before his healthbar went below half. I even actually managed to cut off his tail, which I didn't realize was possible. His tail manifested as an item drop, which I quickly picked up--it's called a Gargoyle Tail Axe. Sadly, I couldn't exit the prompt fast enough before he struck me back, so after that, I started losing a bit of my composure.
Much to my excitement, I managed to slay the first gargoyle, but the second gargoyle was already on my ass. Hard. Breathing his dumbass flames, as usual, he knocked me down and got me locked me into one spot, from which I couldn't escape. Finished me off.
But I killed the first one, right? That means he's not coming back, right?... Wrong. Apparently, if you fail to kill both, the other one somehow
gets revived, because video games. Doesn't make any sense, but whatever, I guess it's "fair." I'll deal with my efforts (and my Pine Resin) being brought to waste.
Either way, it was time to summon Solaire. I tried to record this attempt--I've been planning on recording boss fights and important events for awhile, actually, but as I began to edit the footage, I noticed that the audio was out of sync by like, three full seconds, and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. I'll try to figure something out later.
Now, if you're disappointed in my decision to summon Solaire, try to hear me out--I gave this a lot of thought. First of all, there's two
gargoyles. It's not like I'm ganging up on just one enemy--there's two of them. So from that perspective, I really didn't have any qualms with tagging Solaire along whatsoever. Secondly, the game is basically handing
you the summon sign, behind a gate with two
bosses in it. That kinda communicates to me that I'm "supposed"
to summon Solaire. I'm being encouraged to. Why else would there be a summon sign there? Maybe I won't even have the option to summon NPCs for future bosses, so it would be foolish not to take it up now.
Not to mention, I was fresh out of Pine Resin--so my damage output was significantly lowered.
In short, I'm simply using the conventions offered to me by the game. Would it have been a lot cooler to defeat these things on my own? Yeah, probably--but frankly, I'm not really in it for the pride. I kinda
just wanna progress at this point. I'm sorry if that's sacrilege, but that was pretty much my decision.
Of course, Solaire used lightning-based weapons, making the fight exponentially easier. He cut off the first gargoyle's tail in one strike, and we both brought his health down to a minimum in less than ten seconds. Keeping my sights on the second gargoyle, I allowed Solaire to finish off the first one as I began weakening the other. We made short work of them both, and after the second one was vanquished, Solaire disappeared, leaving behind a Sunlight Medal. I felt compelled to bow, but I forgot how.
Anyway, with the two gargoyles dead, it was finally time to ring the Bell of Awakening.
I'm not entirely sure what that did, but I'll probably figure it out later.
On the way back down from the bell's tower, I met Oswald of Carim, a pardoner who sells some interesting things, like Purging Stones, Indictments, and Rings of Sacrifice. Indictments in particular are the coolest things I've ever seen--it's a shame I have no use for them. People have told me about these before, but they essentially allow you to place a bounty over the head any retarded mongoloid cunt who decides to invade you--but only if they manage to kill you. When used, they'll be added to a list of invaders, who will eventually pay retribution at the hands of a covenant who go by the Blades of Darkmoon, who will proceed to fuck their shit up
--or at least, give them a hard time.
Yeah, people have told me about this before. It sounds fucking awesome
and all, but it still doesn't completely fix my issues with the invasion system. Don't get me wrong--the idea of giving invaders a bad day gives me a massive, steelclad erection, but I still feel more comfortable playing offline. Maybe some time down the line, I'll join the Blades of Darkmoon, but I need to become more powerful.
So I didn't buy anything from him. Everything he had was very expensive anyway, like the 10K soul Bloodbite Ring, or the 15K soul Poisonbite Ring. Instead, I just made my way back to the bonfire at the old church to regroup and think about my next move.