Hitman: Agent 4% on Rotten Tomatoes.

(okay, it's at 6% now)

Fucking knew this shit was gonna tank.

I can't make out what they're supposed to be... doing.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/huckabee-wouldn-girl-raped-abortion-article-1.2328350
It must be "Everbody Piss Verb Off" day today.

Speaking about a horrific case in Paraguay, where the government refused to allow a young girl who had been raped to have an abortion, the former Arkansas governor said he sided with the authorities in the South American nation.

“Creating one problem that is horrible — let nobody be misled, a 10-year-old girl being raped is horrible — but does it solve a problem by taking the life of an innocent child?” Huckabee said Sunday on CNN’s “State of the Union.” “And that’s really the issue.”

“Let’s not compound the tragedy by taking yet another life,” he added. “When an abortion happens, there are two victims.”

Just in case there are still people in this country who don't want to cave this fucker's skull in.

ITT: We state cold hard facts that, despite being ignored by the general public, are nonetheless true.o
(batch asked me to make this thread)

---

Extraterrestrial life may not exist. Statements such as "aliens are likely to exist" are unfounded and moot, because there is no basis for which to qualify such a statement. "The universe is large" is not a compelling argument for the existence of E.T.s.

"Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind." - E. B. White

As a yearning linguist (or just an admirer of the English language), I tend to find the innards of a joke to be highly fascinating. I think people who dislike when jokes are explained are like people who dislike when magic tricks are explained. They think it ruins the fun, whereas I like to use the explanation--the knowledge I have just gained--to develop my own capacity to be humorous.

Once you know how something ticks, it's a lot easier to emulate it.

Though, sometimes, I do tend to appreciate a joke that's good enough to stand on its own legs without having to be explained. I just wouldn't go so far as to say that the humor is completely drained upon explanation.

as opposed to just getting the free version

because that shit is expensive and probably not worth it

as far as i know, it's rap music that people only listen to "ironically"
whatever that even means

like, they don't actually like it--they just pretend to, because ________________. (fill in the blank)

why would someone waste time listening to music they don't actually enjoy

"Hausu"



fucking bizarre
i enjoyed myself, but now i'm sort of apprehensive about every little thing -_-

(even though it wasn't that scary)
(it was just... uh... bizarre)

itt:
what is the weirdest movie one of your friends had you watch

itt:
uhhh picture thread, i guess? hair thread? idc

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Well, it took me just over a decade to finally sit down and play Half-Life 2 (at least, with the intent of beating it), and now, after a long fortnight of playing almost nothing but this game, I can now add it to my short (but growing) list of first-person shooter games that I've actually played from beginning to end. For some, it may seem odd that I've only just now gotten done with a game that was not only released back in 2005, but a game that's often touted as one of the greatest in its genre—if not the greatest game of all time. You know—it's the sort of game that doesn't need an introduction. So what the fuck took me so long to play it, and why am I talking about it now?

Without going too far into it, the reason is simply because I'm not typically a big fan of FPS games. I don't generally find them very fun to play, and unfortunately for me, the industry is very heavily saturated with them. Too many of them, I find, lack the innovation, creativity, and originality that I often look for when it comes to video games. To say that I was "sick" of the genre would have been an understatement—I was sick of the genre back in 2008. So at this point, you can imagine how utterly jaded I've become. It was to the point where I wouldn't even give "classic" FPS games a fair shake, including Half-Life 2, because I honestly felt like it would just give me the same old monotonous, unimaginative experience as, say, Call of Duty, Battlefield, and even Halo—but then, something happened.

My primary impetus for finally giving this game a shot came soon after I had finished watching Ross Scott's brilliant Half-Life machinima, Freeman's Mind, where he colorfully and comically vocalizes the irreverent and audacious thoughts of Half-Life's own silent protagonist, Gordon Freeman. When the series was finished, Scott himself appeared for the first time on camera in a FAQ video, part of which discussed the possibility of him filming a Freeman's Mind sequel, set in Half-Life 2—to which he flippantly responded, "I dunno." It was at this point that I thought to myself, "Well, why wait? Why don't I just play Half-Life 2 myself?"

So I did. And, I'm happy to report that the game ended up being not only much better than I had anticipated, but I'm also proud to proclaim it my favorite overall FPS game. Was it my favorite game of all time, though?... Well...

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Let's talk about what the game did right, because there was a lot of it.

1. Original Premise

The plot is essentially this: Ten or twenty years after the events of Half-Life (where Dr. Gordon Freeman excavates his way through the crumbling complex of the Black Mesa Research Facility, after inadvertently unleashing a horde of hostile aliens onto Earth during a botched teleportation experiment), Earth has been completely overrun by an evil, colossally powerful and highly technologically advanced empire known as the Combine. The aforementioned experiment at Black Mesa resulted in a "resonance cascade", notifying the empire of Earth's existence. The Combine soon invaded, and Earth, which was immediately overwhelmed by the Combine forces, surrendered in a matter of seven hours, at the behest of Black Mesa's cowardly yet cunning ex-administrator, Dr. Wallace Breen. Breen's capitulation of the human race was extolled by the Combine, and, much to the dismay of the general public, was then preferred to the administrator of the entire world. You, as Gordon Freeman, are dispatched to overthrow him.

Now, out of all those facts, one thing in particular should probably be sticking out in your mind, especially with regards to the ensuing war: Earth loses. The game's dystopic outlook of the world comes only as a result of the human race failing to protect it. How many games before Half-Life 2 can you think of where the Earth is actually successfully taken over by the villains? Not many, if at all! It might be because, as humans, we tend to shy away from the possibility of us ever "losing"—being killed or enslaved doesn't seem like a very empowering story on paper, so we make a bunch of narcissistic tales involving humans who become so powerful, they literally cannot be beaten. But here comes a game that comes out and just says, "We fucked up. And now it's our job to fix it." This overarching theme of failure, and taking responsibility for it, to me, is not only very interesting, but highly poignant, and a number of things could be said or interpreted about the game's underlying philosophies here.

2. Stellar storytelling, flow, atmosphere, and characterization

Of course, a great, original premise is nothing if the story itself isn't written very well, but this proves itself to be yet another one of the game's stronger points. Each segment of the game is divvied up in between thirteen distinct chapters (not including the credits sequence), each chronicling a major event within Freeman's adventure in these healthy, decently-sized chunks. Every chapter flows into one another seamlessly, and, when coupled with the game's gloomy and highly immersive atmosphere (especially during early chapters), it really makes you feel like you're actually making a long, lonely trek across eastern Europe.

"Lonely" is the key word here. A great deal of your travels will be spent by your lonesome; a Metroid-esque ethos that I just fucking love. And though the game is not without its choice soundtrack pieces playing here and there, the majority of the game is backed by total silence, except for the subtle ambiance of the environmental elements outdoors, and the foreboding whirs of the man-made machinery indoors—all designed to make you feel lost and alone. Even the Combine soldiers you face are only partially human, reducing your human contact to a cold zero.

This is why, when you finally do meet up with your fellow humans, there's nothing quite like it. There are a number of friendly faces who'll accompany you, and they serve not only as valuable allies, but also as subtle reminders that the human race isn't finished. It hasn't succumbed to its oppression, and you're not alone. It's these individuals that serve as your main driving force, though on a more personal and emotional level. Among these friendly faces include Alyx Vance, who serves as a sort of downplayed deuteragonist as well as Gordon's quasi-love interest. There's also Barney Calhoun, an apparent friend/colleague of Gordon's from Black Mesa who is posing as Civil Protection for the benefit of the Resistance (the oppressed people who became revolutionaries—the good guys).

Meeting any one of these people is like a breath of fresh air—particularly Alyx, who is probably one of the most likable female characters I've seen in a long time, with her witty, natural dialogue (which is brought to life superbly with voicework from Merle Dandridge) and expressive gestures—Valve really knows how to bring a sense of humanity to these characters. At one point, you're back in the city where you started, but this time, you're helping the Resistance wage war against the Combine. Here, a number of revolutionaries offer to fight by your side, and inevitably, some of them will die. Even though they're all nameless, I found watching my squad members die in battle to be quite emotionally taxing—you really care for these people.

I could go on for many more paragraphs discussing how this game makes you feel emotionally. The fact that there's no children around is particularly puzzling, until you realize that the Combine imposed a suppression system that essentially sterilizes the entire human race—and though, if you're me, that sounds like a great idea—it does bring about this bone-chilling theme of the loss of purity or innocence. Some chapters in particular have their very own atmospheres unique to the level. From Black Mesa East's warm, "calm of the storm" type feel, to the sheer horror and consternation of "We Don't Go to Ravenholm...", the game is a florid museum of emotional stimuli.

3. Impressive gameplay (weapons + physics engine)

For some, however, if the game isn't fun to play in the first place, you're not going to be very emotionally invested at all. As it turns out, Half-Life 2 excels in this regard, as well. Being an FPS adventure-type game, the first question I'd suspect to be asked would be, "How are the guns?" Well, that's the question I always ask, anyway. It's important for the weapons to be either fun to use, or cool in their own right. If the guns aren't fun to use, or aren't very creative or interesting in their design, your game is probably gonna be a slog to play through.

In Half-Life 2, we do have a rather fine selection of weapons to choose from. Nothing particularly outstanding, but they're good enough for me. I can honestly say I enjoyed using pretty much every one of them. You have your standard pistols and SMGs (with a grenade launcher attachment, which is nice), your shotguns, your fragmentation grenades, your laser-guided RPG, and even a nice .357 magnum, which serves as your just-fucking-die-already weapon. My personal favorites are the crossbow (a precision weapon that fires red hot metal rods), the pheromone pod (which, when squeezed, allows you to essentially control giant mutant antlions), and, my go-to weapon of choice, the SPAS-12. Oh, and I can't forget the crowbar, which has a variety of non-combat uses, including taking down padlocks and tearing down wooden structures.

"But wait, what about the Gravity Gun?"
Hold on, I'm getting there.

I know I said I liked the shotgun, but the only reason I like it so much is because of how very overpowered it is. Seriously. This thing one-shots just about every common enemy in the game. It reloads very quickly, has surprisingly good range for a spread weapon, and can be stocked with an exorbitantly large amount of shells. Once you get it, you probably won't even need to use anything else. This might just because I was playing on the default difficulty level (because that's how I roll), but the shotgun made the game a little bit too easy, I think. But still, it's hella fun to use.

Like a survival horror game, ammunition is rather scarce. The game wants you to make every one of your shots count—this isn't a game where you mindlessly run in and try to Rambo your way to victory. There are times where you'll have to think on your feet—if you're being overwhelmed, find yourself the best cover you can find. If there are flammable objects in the room, you can try to lure your enemies to it, and fire at it when they come near—but be careful, because they can do the same thing. I haven't seen the enemies take full advantage of this too often, but it's certainly possible.

Enemies you'll be facing include, but are not limited to: Headcrabs—nasty little aliens buggers that try to latch onto your head and turn you into a zombie (also come in poisonous/fast varieties), headcrab zombies themselves (which are quite disturbing—you can hear the crab's host screaming and crying as they attack you), Civil Protection units, (which all make up the bulk of the enemies you'll be facing), and Combine warships. Oh, and antlions (until you get the pheropod discussed earlier). That's pretty much it—I might be forgetting a couple more—but there's not a whole lot of enemy variety, which is unfortunate. The vortigaunts from the first game were only enemies at first because they were under the Nihilanth's control, and when Gordon killed it, they were freed, and now they're on your side. Which is nice, but we ended up losing an iconic enemy type from the first game.

Now, we're all very familiar with the Source engine by now, I presume, so I won't go too far into explaining everything about it, but I will say that, impressively, it doesn't seem dated to me at all. The hyper-realistic graphics are complemented by the engine's hyper-realistic physics, and the game takes advantage of these physics in very clever ways. Every single object has its own weight, and they all respond seemingly in accordance with the laws of motion. There are puzzles that involve taking weighted objects, like cinder blocks, and placing them on a seesaw so that you can reach higher platforms. It seems simple at first—and it is—but it's impressive just how very real the physics are.

Then there's the Gravity Gun—the weapon I neglected to mention earlier. This is easily the most interesting weapon in the game, because of its wide utility. It's a weapon that allows you to forcefully grab objects from a short distance away, and either place them gently somewhere else, or fire it back in high velocity at your foes. Because of its strength in moving large, heavy objects, this becomes the most important weapon in your arsenal very fast, and is a fan-favorite among many Half-Life fans. Much later in the game, however, something happens with this weapon that I'm not sure I like too much. I'll go into that later.

4. Impressive gameplay (other mechanics)

There are a lot of other aspects of the game I felt were worth talking about that didn't really fit into any other category, so I thought I'd bring them all up here.

I love the fact that everything in the game takes place in real-time. There are no cutscenes, except for at the very beginning, and at the very end—and even then, they're not exactly "true" cutscenes. I'm sure this was intentional—it helps with immersion, big-time, and it puts a little bit of extra pressure on the player to pay attention to every single word that is being spoken by the characters, because in order to hear someone, you have to be within earshot. Just like in real life.

The vehicles in the game range from air boats, armored cars, and even a crane at one point—all of which are a blast to use. My personal favorite is the air boat. You pick it up from your allies early on after hightailing it out of City 17. It can operate on land, but its primary function is to help you traverse the vast lakes of radioactive waste that have irradiated the back ends of the city. Yes—you get to ride a speed boat over radioactive waste. That's fucking rad. Speaking of radiation, the HEV suit that Gordon wears comes built-in with a Geiger counter. A nice little touch, considering it let's you know just how infected the area is.

That pretty much covers the biggest things I liked about Half-Life 2. It's a highly atmospheric and beautifully structured game with likable characters that you care about. The weapons are all great, and every scenario that the game puts you in feels like an ordeal—a very fun ordeal. "Run, think, shoot, live" indeed.

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I can't say the game was perfect, though. Here were a couple of things I didn't care too much for, playing through.

1. Deus ex Machina ending

Towards the end of the game, you, Alyx, and the rest of the resistance of successfully tore down the bulk of the Combine forces at City 17, and now Gordon is infiltrating the main headquarters to stop Dr. Breen. Alas, even though Gordon has been through unspeakable adversity at this point, he is captured. All of his weapons are destroyed, and all hope seems lost.

...But wait! What's this! One of the weapons wasn't destroyed! In fact, it becomes supercharged! The Gravity Gun is now the SUPER Gravity Gun! How, you say? No idea! Just accept it with no explanation!

I'm sure it's explained later on in Episode One or Episode Two (maybe), but honestly, I found this to be a little bit disappointing. The Gravity Gun's charm, for me, lied not with its ability to be used as a weapon, but in its ability to be used for, well, everything else. And now, because of some random DBZ shit, it's the most powerful weapon in the game, by far (because now it lets you capture humans, instantly killing them in the process, as well as giving you the ability to control spheres of dark energy), and now I can just fuck everyone up without any effort. It was fun for maybe the first five minutes, but it got old fast.

The worst part is that it goes completely unexplained and unjustified. You don't end up learning how or why that happened—it just did, and you're supposed to appreciate it. It just kinda left a bad taste in my mouth.

It would be forgivable if the final boss didn't end up being super lame, as well. Dr. Breen tries to escape by going up into an elevator that, when he reaches the top, will transport him to safety. All you have to do is mindlessly throw dark energy spheres at it. Kinda disappointing. I expected a lot more.

2. Mediocre AI

I was left rather unimpressed with the game's artificial intelligence—especially with regards to the Resistance. I was told, going in, that the AI was actually supposed to be great, but I'm sorry—a great AI doesn't walk straight into a sniper's line of fire. Great AI doesn't cluster around me, preventing me from moving around in narrow spaces. Because you're meant to rely somewhat on these people to help you out a little bit, it was quite frustrating and disheartening to see all of my allies die, either because they were too dumb to live, or because I didn't do a good enough job in protecting them. Or both. When I killed all of the striders, what was supposed to be a triumphant moment ended up being more of a "ugh, finally" kind of moment.

Fortunately, you only have to deal with your allies' stupidity during the last few chapters. However, unfortunately, this results in having a subpar third act. The first two thirds of the game are vastly superior to the final third, in my opinion.

3. Other minor flaws

Now, I played Half-Life 2 on the Orange Box for the PS3, so maybe these issues are native only to this version. Just keep that in mind.

- Frequent loading times. Very, very frequent. The chapters aren't all fully pre-loaded—they come in shorter segments, where every once in awhile, the game has to load the next chunk of scripted events. This kinda breaks up the flow.
- Frame rate issues. Quite often, I came across a number of spots where the frame rate would drop like a rock.
- Awkward ladder controls. You'd expect to tilt the stick up to go up a ladder, and that's true, but sometimes, it goes all wonky, and you have to start tilting it down instead. And vice-versa. This also applies when trying to make right/left turns when using the vehicles, though not nearly as often. It can get quite annoying when in tight spots.
- Weak final few chapters. I already went into this, of course, but I wanted to mention it again. I was just left pretty underwhelmed by the final few chapters of the game, especially because of its weak final boss.

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Overall, I enjoyed Half-Life 2 quite thoroughly. I can't say it's my favorite game of all time—not by a longshot—but it's easily one of the best FPS games that I've ever played, with its good sides far outweighing the bad. I was left quite emotionally invested in the game's narrative, with a particular concern for the welfare of all the characters I've grown attached to along the way. Not very many games are capable of that.

I'm currently playing through Episode One right now, and once I'm done with the series entirely, I'm sure I, like everyone else, will be eagerly awaiting Half-Life 3. If it ever happens at all.

Final score:
7/10

what do you think about waylon jennings

Whoever's post number ends with the number seven (7) gets to name my [place Pokémon I just caught here].
This is for a Ruby nuzlocke.

I'll keep a database of all the 'mons here.

Badges:


The team:


The PC:

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The cemetery:

how has vegetarianism/veganism been working out for you

or have you started yet?

http://www.ebay.com/itm/New-Craftsman-Chrome-Black-Vinyl-Adjustable-Hydraulic-Stool-Chair-Garage-Bar-/321656510168?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item4ae438d6d8

LOL

we're done