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1
The Flood / Re: What do you do on long flights?
« on: Today at 12:27:38 PM »
i've only flown twice, but i pretty much just did all of that, but replace reading with writing

2
YouTube
i fucking hate post but ethan was actually pissing me off more

they're trying to have a serious conversation, why does he keep saying "rip" like that

3
Gaming / Games released on your birthday
« on: Today at 12:55:09 AM »
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1995_in_video_gaming

go here, replace "1995" with the year you were born, and look to see which games were released on your birthday for every year after (years before you were born don't count) (i'm also not counting ports and stuff)

here's what i got

Dishonored (2012)
XCOM: Enemy Unknown (2012)
Portal (2007)
Mortal Kombat: Armageddon (2006)
TimeSplitters 2 (2002)

and more, but those are the best ones

i don't feel any special kinship towards any of these games, unfortunately

4
Gaming / Re: Pokémon Central
« on: November 17, 2017, 09:09:52 PM »
i caved and bought ultra sun

i can't believe i'm monetarily supporting this garbage, but i can't lie to myself
not even halfway finished downloading 👌

5
Gaming / Re: Pokémon Central
« on: November 17, 2017, 08:21:43 PM »
i caved and bought ultra sun

i can't believe i'm monetarily supporting this garbage, but i can't lie to myself

6
soda is really bad for u tho actually
yeah i don't drink it

7
Gaming / Re: Pokémon Central
« on: November 17, 2017, 01:59:53 PM »
Which nature should I go for on Lycanroc Dusk? Adamant or Jolly?
adamant, since you're probably gonna teach it accelerock anyway

8
The Flood / Re: Dude i went to highschool with killed himself yesterday
« on: November 17, 2017, 12:54:41 PM »
since i graduated HS, 2 people from my graduating class and 5 people from the class under me have killed themselves

they were all star athletes who won state championships for their sports

you just don't know what people are gonna do

9
Gaming / Re: Favorite Zelda games?
« on: November 17, 2017, 02:02:50 AM »
1. ww
2. mm
3. botw
4. lttp
5. loz

might give the same treatment to pokémon later

10
Gaming / Favorite Zelda games?
« on: November 17, 2017, 01:55:42 AM »
i'm bored, so i thought i'd do the same thing for zelda as i did for mario

keep in mind that these little "capsule" reviews aren't meant to be super in-depth, otherwise i'd dedicate one whole thread to each game, which i don't really feel like doing (except for breath of the wild later this year)



The Legend of Zelda (1986, NES) For a Nintendo franchise as long-standing as Zelda, you might expect the first installment to be one of the weaker titles in the franchise—at least, that's how it is for Mario and Pokémon—but as it turns out, it's still one of the better games in the series, and I wouldn't begrudge anyone claiming it's one of the best games ever made—and let's not even get into how influential this game was. Every dictionary in the world should accompany the definition of the word "seminal" with an image of the title screen of this game. Sure, Adventure for the Atari 2600 may have done it first, but Zelda took its concept and blasted it through the roof, being one of the first games ever that you weren't expected to beat in one sitting. Almost everything about the game is phenomenal, even if it's admittedly lacking in the visual department, and between that and the game's slightly janky sense of movement, it's quite difficult to find anything objectively wrong with the game—in fact, I end up just finding more little things to appreciate about it every single time I replay it. I don't know what else to say, really. It really is one of the best games ever. ***

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (1987, NES) Man, this game gets so much unnecessary flak. Often hailed as the worst Zelda game (not counting CD-i), people seem to hate this one for two reasons—1.) it's such a weird detour from the rest of the series in terms of gameplay, making it a black sheep, and 2.) it has a reputation for being extremely, frustratingly difficult. To the first point, I would argue that Zelda is a franchise that thrives whenever it tries something different. In my experience, the worst games in the series are the ones that paint by the numbers and fail to experiment or take risks, so from that standpoint, I have a great appreciation for Zelda II. What makes the game unique are the side-scrolling combat portions with gameplay that that combines platforming with RPG elements, where killed enemies net you experience points that can be used to make Link stronger. There are virtually no puzzles—it's all about finessing your way through each action-packed dungeon and decrypting the vague, poorly-translated texts from all the townspeople you'll have to talk to. As much as I personally like the game, though, I would only recommend it to "hardcore" Zelda fans. It's one of those games. It's definitely worth trying either way, but never for an early-adopter of the series. You'll probably just hate it. ***

The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (1991, SNES) Clearly, after Zelda II, Nintendo really wanted to play it safe and keep the franchise at its roots for the time being—which would normally be a disappointing decision from an artistic standpoint. But when you wind up with a game THIS explosively good, it's pretty fucking asinine to complain. I described the original Zelda as one of the best games ever made, and I think A Link to the Past is even better. It's in my top 50, possibly top 30. I would try to explain why, but I feel like these games are ubiquitous to the point where everyone already kind of understands why they're so good. And that's how it should be. If you don't know why it's so good, I would suggest that you play it. It's the bee's knees. 9/10

The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening (1993, GB) This is another one that I'd only recommend to hardcore fans. It's a cute little game—though, "little" is probably the wrong word, as it offers about 15 HOURS of gameplay—certainly one of the longest adventures available for the original Game Boy. It's definitely cute, though. The game has a goofy sense of humor and a strong sense of self-awareness. This can make it difficult to take seriously as a canon Zelda title, with its very "cutesy" and cartoonish overall aesthetic, and especially how it's constantly making these tongue-in-cheek references to other Nintendo franchises (mostly Mario). It's a fun, but otherwise non-essential, installment to the franchise, best thought of as an after-class time waster more than a fully-fledged epic Zelda adventure. If you're going to play it, be sure to play Link's Awakening DX, which adds color to an otherwise woefully monochromatic game. 7/10

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (1998, N64) One of the most overrated games of all time. It's good. It's solid. You might even be able to get away with calling it "great." If you think it's amazing, I won't begrudge you, but I'll question your palate. But if you honestly think this is one of the best games ever, let alone THE best, we are on two completely different planets. This game finds itself marred by so many issues—granted, several of which are fixed or improved upon in the 3DS version—but the inevitable flaws that manifest themselves when trying to turn a traditionally 2D game into a 3D world, namely the ones having to do with the camera, the combat, and even the layout of objects on the map, are SO plentiful and SO apparent that I simply cannot overlook them. I won't tell you it's not a good game, because it certainly is—but I don't especially harbor any reverence for it. Though, if you're new to Zelda, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable recommending you the 3DS version. 7/10 for N64, 8/10 for 3DS

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (2000, N64) And then this happened. My god. What a PERFECT followup. I'm so glad that this game seems to be getting the recognition it deserves nowadays. They did exactly what they needed to do—since they knew that Ocarina was already being considered the best game ever, they were presented with the daunting task of topping it with the next game. And what better way to go about that than doing whatever the fuck they wanted? Instead of trying to "top" Ocarina, they decided to throw a curve ball instead—and wouldn't you know it, they ended up topping it anyway. This is one of the most beautiful games I've ever played. What makes it special is that it focuses less on Link and his adventure, and more on the people that he's trying to save from an impending apocalypse. In the game, dungeon exploration becomes more of a secondary task as you continuously repeat the same three-day cycle over and over, collecting masks and interacting with all the NPCs in Clock Town. Everybody has a backstory, personality quirks, daily routine, and problems to help solve. As you help them solve their daily troubles, you get to know (and become emotionally attached to) each and every one of them—but as you continue to reset the past, the sad futility of it all becomes more and more apparent. A stark atmosphere of melancholy pervades every inch of the game's world, and the falling moon above (which can be seen from any point in the game) serves as a constant reminder of the impending doom—and every character reacts to this in their own way; sometimes with fear, others with denial, and others with sheer apathy. But all of them are emotionally broken in some way. If you try to solve everyone's problems, you can permanently reap their benefits, but only to have them all reset the moment you turn back time. You can't save everybody. If I were to rate this game strictly as a piece of art, and focused only on its characters, atmosphere, music, and storytelling, I would easily give this game a 10/10. However, its imperfections become more obvious once you start considering the gameplay—which is undeniably improved from Ocarina, as they did a much better job of optimizing the 3D world to help it mesh better with the exploration, but there is ONE area of the game that flounders so heavily compared to the rest of the game (the snow area). There are also one or two sidequests involving NPCs that are pretty dang tedious, and don't exactly give you the most exciting rewards. Unfortunately, neither of  these glaring issues have been fixed in the overall superior 3DS remake. A lot of people seem to think that the game's dungeons are underwhelming (especially when you consider that there's only four), but I thought they were all pretty dang solid for not being the main pull of the game—and regarding the absence of an adult Link, I feel like the three transformation masks were a worthy substitute. There's so much more to talk about with this game, and I actually have a fully-written review of it that's been jangling around in my pocket for several years, but it's no secret that this is one of my favorite games anyway. I recommend it to absolutely everybody, except for the newest of newcomers to Zelda. 8/10 for N64, 9/10 for 3DS

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Oracle of Ages (2001, GBC) The most underappreciated Zelda games, bar none. When I first heard about them, I thought they were trying to pull a Pokémon by releasing the same game twice—but nope, they are actually two completely different games, both geared for two different styles of play. Seasons is more action-oriented, and Ages is more puzzle-oriented. Ages is the superior game, but both are really, really solid, and would probably serve as a great introduction to the franchise, if you can get past the retro aesthetic and somewhat dated gameplay mechanics. 8/10 for Seasons, 9/10 for Ages

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (2002, NGC) My second favorite game of all time, comprising one of the three perfect 10s I've ever felt comfortable giving to a video game. It is magnificent. It's the game that Ocarina of Time could and should have been. It is the embodiment of all the joy and happiness that my ten-year-old self would have had towards life. Let me tell you something—I'm an anti-natalist, but if this game were a woman, I would have children with her. Because between my genes and her genes, I know that those children would be fucking perfect in every way. 10/10

The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap (2004, GBA) I think I might need to replay this, because despite having played a great deal of it through, I never actually bothered to beat it. It was an enjoyable experience from, what I can remember, but it didn't really leave much of an impression on me overall. I remember disliking the artstyle quite a bit. The superbrite, highly-saturated color palette the game uses was a bit of an eyesore, and I remember having to deal with a lot of tedious mechanics. The items were cool, though, and I think it had some clever puzzles. It's gonna take  while, but I'll give it another shot some day. 7/10

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (2006, NGC) I need to replay this, too. For me, this was the most unmemorable Zelda experience. I can't remember a fucking thing about it, other than that it was kind of okay, and that the artstyle, while aesthetically pleasing, became increasingly hard to look at the longer I played the game. I took frequent breaks from it, which is not something I typically do with Zelda games, and it just felt really, really long. It's easily the most paint-by-numbers game in the series, and that's why I think it didn't leave such a great impression on me. But it wasn't bad. 7/10

The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (2007, DS) Direct sequels are kind of rare for this series, so out of them all, I'm glad that my personal favorite was blessed with one. Unfortunately, it's not quite as good, but I wasn't really expecting it to be anyway. It has really great characters, and that unmistakably joyous Wind Waker atmosphere, but otherwise, it's a fairly standard Zelda adventure, just on the DS. 8/10

The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks (2009, DS) A completely unnecessary waste of time with the lamest premise for a Zelda game EVER. One of my least favorite mainline titles, it's not a bad game. It's just not worth playing, in my opinion, and the reason for its existence continually eludes me. 6/10

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (2011, Wii) An insulting casualization that gets worse and worse the more I think about it, so I choose not to think about it. The most disappointing Zelda game, but only retroactively. I remember enjoying it somewhat when it first came out, but as of right now, it's the last game in the series that I'd ever want to revisit. 5/10

The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (2013, 3DS) It doesn't really do anything all that interesting or unique from a gameplay standpoint, apart from the main gimmick of becoming a painting, and it can't help but feel like the Breath of the Wild holdover that it is, but it's still a solid game (that I admittedly don't remember much of). 8/10

Hyrule Warriors (2014, Wii U) Fucking STUPID. 4/10

The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes (2015, 3DS) Obnoxious and unnecessary. If you're lucky enough to have two other people to play this game with, it might be a fun time. I don't know. But good luck with that. 5/10

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (2017, Wii U) Again, I'm gonna write a full review for this one, but I guess I'm okay with spoiling my score for it here. 9/10

Still need to play:

Zelda (1989, G&W)
Link: The Faces of Evil (1993, CD-i)
Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon (1993, CD-i)
Zelda's Adventure (1994, CD-i)
The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords (2002, GBA)
The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures (2004, NGC)
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland (2006, DS)
Tingle's Balloon Fight DS (2007, DS)
Link's Crossbow Training (2007, Wii)
Irozuki Tincle no Koi no Balloon Trip (2009, DS)

11
Gaming / Re: ESRB now fucks over Indies
« on: November 16, 2017, 08:11:12 PM »
i was the only kid who cared about them, and i'd actively avoid playing rated M games until i was about 14-15, and even then, i wish i would've waited those extra two or three years
That's fucking hilarious
what's so funny about me being a better kid than you

13
>proceeds to die

l  m  a  o

14
Gaming / Re: The Game Awards
« on: November 16, 2017, 07:56:19 PM »
as retarded as pubg looks, and the fact that everything about it screams that it's not my thing, it still looks kinda fun

still waiting on that console master race release

15
Gaming / Re: ESRB now fucks over Indies
« on: November 16, 2017, 07:54:17 PM »
the ESRB rating is literally the first thing i check whenever i get any game

not that i even have to anymore, since i'm obviously old enough to play anything, but it's a force of habit at this point

i was the only kid who cared about them, and i'd actively avoid playing rated M games until i was about 14-15, and even then, i wish i would've waited those extra two or three years

16
Gaming / Re: ESRB now fucks over Indies
« on: November 16, 2017, 07:50:57 PM »
like, developers don't give a fuck about your kids, and they probably shouldn't be obliged to

i think it's fine for a separate organization to handle that independently

17
Gaming / Re: ESRB now fucks over Indies
« on: November 16, 2017, 07:49:04 PM »
Why do we need the ESRB rating system anyway

Can't developers just use their own discretion based on the standard set by the ESRB?
what do you mean

you think developers should rate their own games, or

yeah

i mean games have been around long enough that we know what constitutes "M" and "T"
the ESRB kinda exists because devs and publishers were exploiting the fact that there wasn't any kind of rating body and the industry didn't want the government to step in and regulate it for them
How could they exploit it? I dunno I'm not really the kind of person to even acknowledge the ESRB rating so I've never seen its merit.
by having gratuitously violent or sexual content during a period where video games were often looked upon as children's toys

they're not children's toys anymore, but given that games are still heavily enjoyed by young people, i'd say it's perfectly reasonable for parents to be concerned about what kinds of games their children are playing

it's kind of an odd thing to take issue with

18
Gaming / Re: The Game Awards
« on: November 16, 2017, 07:33:19 PM »
and just to dispel the notion that i'm only rallying against nier because i hate weebs: i would nominate persona 5 before nier

there you go, 6-7 games that are more worthy of GOTY than nier: automata is

19
Gaming / Re: The Game Awards
« on: November 16, 2017, 07:29:02 PM »
nier isn't even in the top 5 games this year, sorry

i haven't played it beyond the demo, but i can just tell by the way it is that it's the weeb game that every weeb says is the best game ever because they're weebs (along with persona 5)
i mean, it's not a mind blowing game by any means but i can't really see any good reason why PUBG or Horizon Zero Dawn are more deserving of consideration

we all know this year is a competition between two nintendo products so it's not a huge deal.
pubg shouldn't be on there, yeah, but only because it hasn't been officially released

if it were, then i wouldn't argue against it

hzd deserves the nomination, and i think you could make a case for sonic mania or samus returns (not to win, obviously, but i think they deserve the recognition that a nomination would give them)

the only people who think nier should've been nominated are people who are already crazy nier fans who shit sperm the moment they see anything japanese (unless it's nintendo), because that's what weebs do

20
Gaming / Re: The Game Awards
« on: November 16, 2017, 06:22:19 PM »

21
Gaming / Re: The Game Awards
« on: November 16, 2017, 05:56:46 PM »
nier isn't even in the top 5 games this year, sorry

i haven't played it beyond the demo, but i can just tell by the way it is that it's the weeb game that every weeb says is the best game ever because they're weebs (along with persona 5)

22
The Flood / Re: Justice League (2017)
« on: November 16, 2017, 04:32:51 PM »
and zack snyder's attempts at being "grimdark" have always been pretty laughable anyway

23
i just spent an hour reading #MeToo stories on twitter, and now i'm scared to even look at a woman

24
Gaming / Re: ESRB now fucks over Indies
« on: November 16, 2017, 02:29:46 AM »
Why do we need the ESRB rating system anyway

Can't developers just use their own discretion based on the standard set by the ESRB?
what do you mean

you think developers should rate their own games, or

25
The Flood / Re: Who else is gunna do No Fap November with me?
« on: November 15, 2017, 07:34:20 PM »
It's one thing to be blunt, it's another to be an aggressive arrogant flippant naive little kid.
how does it feel to be less intelligent than this aggressive arrogant flippant naïve little kid

26
The Flood / Re: Verb gives his shitty opinions on anime (redux) #FuckAnime
« on: November 15, 2017, 02:01:16 PM »
I would have said the "anime" label pertains a number of themes/tropes/cliches found in a great deal of Japanese media, and thus some American animation could be considered and anime (likewise, some Japanese animation could "transcend" anime.)
"anime-esque" or "anime-inspired" is as far as i'd go with that tbh

the reason the definition is so restrictive is because it makes it easier to draw a line in the sand between what's anime and what isn't, whereas your definition kinda makes it a little bit foggier and less clear-cut

that said, even if we were to go with that standard, i would argue that, overall, Avatar: TLA's characters, themes, sense of humor, and even its sense of pacing are far more western than eastern—the only thing that's really anime-esque about it is the artstyle

it's kinda like calling star wars a work of science fiction (rather than fantasy), just because it takes place in space and borrows some elements from that genre

27
The Flood / Re: Verb gives his shitty opinions on anime (redux) #FuckAnime
« on: November 15, 2017, 12:13:53 PM »
Does the last airbender count as anime
nope

wasn't made by a japanese studio

if it were an anime, it would be my favorite
So it has to be Japanese to be considered anime
basically

the word "anime" literally just means "animation" in japan, so in their tongue, everything is an "anime"

there's some debate about the stipulations, which is why some people opt to say "japanese animation" if you want to be crystal clear

28
The Flood / Re: Verb gives his shitty opinions on anime (redux) #FuckAnime
« on: November 15, 2017, 12:08:37 PM »
Does the last airbender count as anime
nope

wasn't made by a japanese studio

if it were an anime, it would be my favorite

29
The Flood / Re: Verb gives his shitty opinions on anime (redux) #FuckAnime
« on: November 15, 2017, 11:02:12 AM »
I just watched Grave of the Fireflies.

And just before that, I watched The Road.

I need a hug.
Why would you do that to yourself? The Road alone is tough to watch.
he was inspired by my patrician taste
The Road or grave?
this is the anime thread isn't it
Watching anime is the road to an early grave.
ironically, this is the only way to make watching anime sound appealing
Pro Tip: Watch SAO multiple times, it really boosts those suicidal thoughts.
oh, i'll get to that eventually

watch it unironically become my favorite anime

30
The Flood / Re: Verb gives his shitty opinions on anime (redux) #FuckAnime
« on: November 15, 2017, 10:10:40 AM »
I just watched Grave of the Fireflies.

And just before that, I watched The Road.

I need a hug.
Why would you do that to yourself? The Road alone is tough to watch.
he was inspired by my patrician taste
The Road or grave?
this is the anime thread isn't it
Watching anime is the road to an early grave.
ironically, this is the only way to make watching anime sound appealing

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