Dark Souls Impressions - The FINAL Update

Verbatim · January 13, 2016, 11:39:31 AM

CURRENT EQUIPMENT (outdated):

Update #01.0 - OMG I BEAT THE TUTORIAL
Update #01.5 - Firelink Shrine Shenanigans
Update #02.0 - Getting Good
Update #03.0 - Oh boy, here we go.
Update #03.5 - Rookie Mistakes
Update #04.0 - The Morning Star
Update #05.0 - Overcoming My Demons
Update #06.0 - Rats, Knights, & Other Tedium
Update #07.0 - Slack Knight
Update #07.5 - Getting Gooder
Update #08.0 - Oh, the Humanity...
Update #09.0 - Fuck You, Goliath
Update #10.0 - Fuck You, Goliath II
Update #11.0 - More like CRAPricorn
Update #12.0 - Depths of the Evil Eye
Update #13.0 - Blighttown Blunders
Update #14.0 - Fire-Forged Revengeance
Update #15.0 - Quelaag's of Battle Creek
Update #16.0 - Poised in the Moonlight
Update #16.5 - Aggro Acrimony
Update #17.0 - Liberty is a Spook
Update #18.0 - No Step on Snek
Update #19.0 - Painted Preliminary
Update #19.5 - The Darkmoon Rises
Update #20.0 - (((Ornstein & Smough)))
Update #20.5 - Shitty Xmas-themed Duke's Archives Poem
Update #21.0 - There's a Meth Joke in Here Somewhere...
Update #22.0 - A Scent and a Sound
Update #23.0 - A Desperate Dilemma
Update #24.0 - PASTY WHITE BOY FUCKED BY FOUR STUDS IN STEAMY FIVESOME
Update #25.0 - Don't Give Up, Skeleton!
Update #25.5 - ...Consider giving up, skeleton.
Update #27.0 - That's Real Fuckin' Nito
Update #28.0 - More Likely Than You Think
Update #29.0 - Bed Witch
Update #30.0 - Painted by the Numbers

Inventory

Consumables

Titanite

Keys & Tools

Scrolls

Weapons & Shields

Bolts & Arrows

Armors

Rings

Bottomless Box

Major Boss Hitlist

Allow me to get this joke out of the way:

Holy shit, Verb's gonna play Dark Souls! Maybe this time, he'll actually figure out how to beat the tutorial! LMAO

That said, for the sake of context, I thought I'd just go over my history with this game, for those of you who may not be aware.

The first and last time I played Dark Souls was exactly two years ago. Dark Souls II was on the horizon, and I had never even touched a Souls game before then. One day, as I was chatting away with my Bnet friends in an IRC ('cause that's where we migrated to after the update), one of them starts telling me about Dark Souls, and how she really wants me to play it.

Now, this person never recommends me anything, ever, so right off the bat, my interest was piqued. I started asking her about it, and she told me that the game actually seemed "perfect" for me. Now, "perfect" is a very, very strong word to use--but this person knows me. We've been arguing about our taste in games for years, so we know our tastes rather well. So, at that point, I thought about playing it, but for whatever reason, I put it off.

But then every day since that conversation, she's telling me about this game, how awesome it would be if I were to pick it up, and how "perfectly" the game suits my tastes. She really, really wants me to play this game.

So I said, "Fuck it, I'll go out and buy it." And I did.

Started playing it... aaaaaaaaand right away, I had problems with it. Now, keep in mind--my expectations are at their fucking maximum, because she propped this game up so high. So, when I discovered that this was that one game I heard about that allows you to place stupid, misleading, and trollish messages all over the place, as well as invade other people's games to try to steal their shit from them?... I was upset. I was very upset. That's the exact opposite of what I like to see in a video game. And in a petty, deranged sort of way, I felt a little betrayed. Like, how could she possibly recommend me this game, and tell me that it's "perfect" for me, when it has game mechanics like this? Not only that--how could anyone like this game when it has mechanics like this?

I stopped playing before I even finished the tutorial, because I thought I'd seen enough. We argued about it for awhile, and it ended kinda badly. Obviously, she was upset at me for getting so hung up over a couple of mechanics that she considers minor and excusable, and I was upset at her, still, for basically setting my expectations so fucking high.

About a year later, my experiences with Dark Souls became public, and everyone has pretty much twisted my experience in ridiculous ways--usually just to taunt me, but a lot of people are still under the impression that the tutorial was "too difficult" for me, and that I don't like Dark Souls based on its difficulty alone. Which is not true--I've played and beaten difficult-ass games before, like Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Difficulty doesn't bother me at all--it's the fact that the game has this shitheaded game mechanic that allows you to invade players without their consent. I don't see how anyone could possibly enjoy that--and that's my main complaint with Dark Souls. That bullshit.

Nonetheless, the Dark Souls community has given me very little sympathy--and as such, I've grown to absolutely despise Dark Souls fans and their precious little untouchable franchise. There was even a period of time where hearing about Dark Souls would instantly put me in a bad mood--I hated the series and its fans that much.

A year later, here we are. Out of a weird sense of "duty," I feel like I owe it to myself, the people I've argued with, and my friend who initially recommended the game to me in the first place (who is a member of this site now--and she can identify herself if she wants to) to finally play and finish this game. Give it a fair shot.

So yeah.

Verbatim · January 13, 2016, 11:41:22 AM

I'll start playing later in the afternoon. Uni is probably going to dictate how often I'll get to play this game.

I take morning classes, and I have a lab to attend to on Wednesdays from 2:00 to about 5:00, so yeah.

Luciana · January 13, 2016, 11:49:37 AM

It was me

I'm the friend

hahaha

No, not really. I wouldn't say this game is perfect because I'm not stupid.

Luciana · January 13, 2016, 11:57:49 AM

I'm playing Dark Souls 2 again

I forgot how bad the character models are. Don't worry about your look, Verb. You'll be covered in armor anyway.

Ender · January 13, 2016, 11:59:40 AM

Are we allowed to post tips?

Luciana · January 13, 2016, 12:03:23 PM

First playthroughs should always be experienced without telling him a build he should do, or what to do first. Just general rules of never using firekeeper souls, if enemies are way too strong in one area, maybe you're not ready yet and can go someplace else, leveling resistance is worthless, and.... exhaust all NPC dialogue and don't attack any friendly NPC's (for the most part).

A salt rifle · January 13, 2016, 12:04:47 PM

inb4memes
inb4he'sback

Sandtrap · January 13, 2016, 12:05:38 PM

I want to answer lore questions.

I like dark souls lore and I don't have people to talk to about it which makes me sad.

Verbatim · January 13, 2016, 12:10:21 PM

Quote from: Ender on January 13, 2016, 11:59:40 AM

Are we allowed to post tips?

No thank you, unless I ask for it. Which I probably won't.

Sandtrap · January 13, 2016, 12:11:19 PM

Quote from: Luciana on January 13, 2016, 11:57:49 AM

I'm playing Dark Souls 2 again

I forgot how bad the character models are. Don't worry about your look, Verb. You'll be covered in armor anyway.

I'll have you know my handsome box jawline mustached character Mgubbins looks quite dashing under his tiny eyed, fuzzy browed squint.

Spoiler

Verbatim · January 13, 2016, 12:15:54 PM

Quote from: Luciana on January 13, 2016, 11:49:37 AM

It was me

I'm the friend

hahaha

No, not really. I wouldn't say this game is perfect because I'm not stupid.

To be fair, she never said it was perfect on its own--just perfect for me. She just didn't at all expect me to be bothered by the invasions or the misleading hint system, because we had never really discussed anything like that before.

I mean, I'm sure I'll come across some other imperfections along the way, but yeah. This was years ago. You live and you learn.

Ender · January 13, 2016, 12:21:12 PM

Yeah souls games can be vague as fuck

Sandtrap · January 13, 2016, 12:29:04 PM

I'm taking all bets.

Verb dies on his first visit and passing through Sen's Funhouse.

Verbatim · January 13, 2016, 12:32:02 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on January 13, 2016, 12:29:04 PM

I'm taking all bets.

Verb dies on his first visit and passing through Sen's Funhouse.

not exactly a bold speculation

i'm playing dark souls--i'm probably gonna die a couple times

Sandtrap · January 13, 2016, 12:33:52 PM

Just one tip Verb, by the way. Exploration can be your friend if done carefully and you use your eyes and ears well. There's some spots with hidden bonfires that can really shorten the trip to a boss or area if you happen to die so that you don't have to backpack through an entire area again.

Sandtrap · January 13, 2016, 12:37:31 PM

Quote from: Fuddy Duddy II on January 13, 2016, 12:32:02 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on January 13, 2016, 12:29:04 PM
I'm taking all bets.

Verb dies on his first visit and passing through Sen's Funhouse.
not exactly a bold speculation

i'm playing dark souls--i'm probably gonna die a couple times

Aha, but Sen's Funhouse is THE place to die at. Which is really funny, actually, because half the deaths in that place just happen because you hesitate and get tense. It's got more bark than bite.

But, to be fair, the place gives you good reason to hesitate at some spots.

Turkey · January 13, 2016, 12:58:49 PM

Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

Anyways, don't get tripped up on the messages while you play. The vast majority are helpful, like a notice about an ambush or what strategy to use, or just in-jokes that are fun to see ("you're in the know, right?", "praise the sun", "let us cleanse these foul streets", etc). Honestly, I can't even recall a single instance where a message was purposefully misleading except as an obvious, tongue-in-cheek joke (like "try jumping" in front of a cliff, or "I can't take this" in front of a tough boss).

Ender · January 13, 2016, 01:02:53 PM

You know, dark souls 2 is easier......

Sandtrap · January 13, 2016, 01:35:24 PM

Quote from: Ender on January 13, 2016, 01:02:53 PM

You know, dark souls 2 is easier......

Depends, actually. I've probably had a lot more deaths in 2 than in the first one. Mainly because 2 can throw some really cheap shit your way.

There was never a single encounter in the first souls game that had you dealing with 11 something, hard hitting/stunlocking enemies at the same time or six mini-bosses at the same time. I mean sure there's a fuck load of healing options, way more than the first game.

But I'd like to see you try and heal when you're getting stun locked by 12 dogs and some cunt with a spear in a tiny boxed in area.

Or just play pre-patch shrine of amana without a ranged weapon and see how that works out.

big sponge · January 13, 2016, 03:07:36 PM

Quote from: Dean "Turkey" Strang on January 13, 2016, 12:58:49 PM

Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

I didn't.

Just because you couldn't beat him on your first try doesn't mean others couldn't.

Luciana · January 13, 2016, 03:12:46 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on January 13, 2016, 01:35:24 PM

Quote from: Ender on January 13, 2016, 01:02:53 PM
You know, dark souls 2 is easier......

Depends, actually. I've probably had a lot more deaths in 2 than in the first one. Mainly because 2 can throw some really cheap shit your way.

There was never a single encounter in the first souls game that had you dealing with 11 something, hard hitting/stunlocking enemies at the same time or six mini-bosses at the same time. I mean sure there's a fuck load of healing options, way more than the first game.

But I'd like to see you try and heal when you're getting stun locked by 12 dogs and some cunt with a spear in a tiny boxed in area.

Or just play pre-patch shrine of amana without a ranged weapon and see how that works out.

Artificial difficulty by throwing adds at you!

Turkey · January 13, 2016, 03:24:54 PM

Quote from: LC on January 13, 2016, 03:07:36 PM

Quote from: Dean "Turkey" Strang on January 13, 2016, 12:58:49 PM
Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

I didn't.

Just because you couldn't beat him on your first try doesn't mean others couldn't.

That's fine, I just don't believe you.

big sponge · January 13, 2016, 03:39:53 PM

Quote from: Dean "Turkey" Strang on January 13, 2016, 03:24:54 PM

Quote from: LC on January 13, 2016, 03:07:36 PM
Quote from: Dean "Turkey" Strang on January 13, 2016, 12:58:49 PM
Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

I didn't.

Just because you couldn't beat him on your first try doesn't mean others couldn't.

That's fine, I just don't believe you.

git gud

Septy · January 13, 2016, 03:40:59 PM

Verbatim · January 13, 2016, 03:42:43 PM

Quote from: Septy on January 13, 2016, 03:40:59 PM

Dark Souls has the worst memes. I'll just start off by saying that.

Should be able to start playing in a couple hours or so.

Naru · January 13, 2016, 03:45:31 PM

Quote from: Fuddy Duddy II on January 13, 2016, 03:42:43 PM

Quote from: Septy on January 13, 2016, 03:40:59 PM

Dark Souls has the worst memes. I'll just start off by saying that.

Should be able to start playing in a couple hours or so.

the community has the most hilarious videos, though.

A salt rifle · January 13, 2016, 04:00:04 PM

Too bad you'll get annoyed by some characters/phrases because of their meme status - fortunately enough only few memetic aspects of the game truly went viral, like the aforementioned phrase 'praise the sun'.

Batch · January 13, 2016, 04:04:03 PM

Mmmmmmm.........mmmmmmm......oh ho!

🍁 Aria 🔮 · January 13, 2016, 04:12:57 PM

Quote from: Dean "Turkey" Strang on January 13, 2016, 03:24:54 PM

Quote from: LC on January 13, 2016, 03:07:36 PM
Quote from: Dean "Turkey" Strang on January 13, 2016, 12:58:49 PM
Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

I didn't.

Just because you couldn't beat him on your first try doesn't mean others couldn't.

That's fine, I just don't believe you.

I didn't die the first time.

>Not spamming him with bombs

Turkey · January 13, 2016, 04:19:05 PM

Quote from: Prime Megaten on January 13, 2016, 04:12:57 PM

Quote from: Dean "Turkey" Strang on January 13, 2016, 03:24:54 PM
Quote from: LC on January 13, 2016, 03:07:36 PM
Quote from: Dean "Turkey" Strang on January 13, 2016, 12:58:49 PM
Everybody dies at the Asylum Demon their first time. Anyone that says otherwise is a liar; it's a rite of passage.

I didn't.

Just because you couldn't beat him on your first try doesn't mean others couldn't.

That's fine, I just don't believe you.
I didn't die the first time.

>Not spamming him with bombs

>researching bosses instead of going in blind the first time and getting massacred