This guy is a great storyteller.

Fuck man. I didn't know you were such a grammar Nazi.

if you're writing a story, grammar is kind of important

There was once a user by the name of Decimator Omega.[1] He didn't understand the concept of the internet[2] that he wasn't suppose to take it seriously[3], but he took everything to heart,[4] even the internet and text on the internet[5]. To him, every negative feedback was a person shouting at him. Deci was losing his mind everyday[7] he spent time chained up to his computer[8]. He doesn't get much food and only gets water from the toilet.[9] He is a slave to the system.[10]

[1] Cliche opening. That might have been what you were going for, but it's still an uninteresting opener.
[2] The "internet" is actually capitalized.
[3] Slightly awkward sentence structure there.
[4] Comma splice? I don't even know, but it just looks wrong. Could've used a dash, maybe.
[5] Repetitive.
[6] Another awkwardly worded sentence.
[7] "Every day". Two words. Yes, there are times when it's one word, but this is not one of those times.
[8] "Chained up"? Seems unnecessarily dramatic. You could say "glued", which has a bit of humor built in.
[9] That's a really bizarre attempt at humor. I wouldn't have mentioned that--it's more weird than anything else.
[10] Cliche, and doesn't really seem to fit the rest of the paragraph.

Then one day, Deci snaps. But he doesn't snap online. He smashes his computer monitor and goes on a rampage out in the streets of Murrica causing a second civil war over Americans losing their guns.

That was more than enough time to complete his master plan. Deci runs around the apartment looking for his spare computer[1] "Where is it?" he asked himself[2] because all autistic people talk to themselves. "WHERE IS IT?!?"[3] He started shouting.[4]

[1] Forgot a period there.
[2] Comma here.
[3] Unnecessary caps, and multiple question marks.
[4] Redundant. You don't need to add "he said" or "he shouted" after every little bit of dialogue; only every other bit.

He digs into his closet, finally finds the computer[1] and hooks it up.

"Ahhhh....[2] Linux[3]" He[4] said with ease. Deci opens up a hack tool called LOIC[5] and[6] types in Sep7agon.net in the big bar[7] and[8] hits the lock on[9] button[10] and then[11] hits "I'MMA CHARGIN MY LAZOR!!!"[12] Flooding Sep7agon to oblivion until it is taken offline, he uses a proxy in the process.

[1] Comma.
[2] If you're going to use ellipses with four dots, space them out. Usually, they only have three anyway.
[3] Comma.
[4] "He" should not be capitalized.
[5] What does "LOIC" stand for? Normally, you say the full name, and put the acronym in parentheses.
[6] Instead of saying "and" so much, just put a comma there. "And" should only be used once at the end of a list.
[7] It's called an "address bar".
[8] Again, replace "and" with a comma.
[9] "Lock-on" should have a hyphen.
[10] Comma.
[11] "And then" is one of my biggest pet peeves in writing. It just sounds bad. Just say "and".
[12] No.

An alarm goes off, Cheat wakes up, cleans the yard, takes out the trash, and goes on Sep7agon.[1] "What the fuck?" Cheat asked himself in confusion[2] seeing that his site is offline. He calls bluehost[3] tech support to try and[4] figure out what is going on[5]. An Indian man answers the phone.[6] Cheat asks the Indian man[7] "Why did my site go offline?" the[8] Indian man[9] said[10] "hold[11] on one moment[12]" and put Cheat on hold. 6[13] hours go by. Cheat is pissed and hangs up. "God[14] what a fucked up day. I need to switch to a new host"[15]

[1] Run-on sentence.
[2] Comma.
[3] Capitalization.
[4] "Try to figure out".
[5] "What is going on" is just another hackneyed phrase that we're all tired of reading.
[6] Ethnic stereotype humor can be funny at times. This was not one of those times.
[7] Comma.
[8] Capitalization.
[9] All right, we get it, he's Indian. It's not gonna get funnier if you keep mentioning it.
[10] Comma.
[11] Capitalization.
[12] Comma.
[13] You should always spell out numbers less than 1000.
[14] Comma.
[15] Punctuation. Remember--the period goes inside the quotation marks when ending a piece of dialogue.

i'm getting bored of this

i haven't even got into the story structure--this is all just grammar checking

why wouldn't they

Quote from: TheUnwornUniform on April 09, 2015, 01:59:05 PM

You fucking shits. I fucking hate all of you. Fuck you.

Calm down Verbatim

>"fucking shits"
>three sentences with 2-7 words, all containing "fuck"

i would never talk like this

i'm with meta, but i mean, if you have a strong bullshit filter, that shouldn't really be a problem

that said, the last great documentary i've seen was citizenfour
and my favorite documentary of all time is zeitgeist (keep in mind what i literally just said though)

^

That's all you people ever had to say, by the way.
"I care about my personal image, and I feel as though having my privacy violated would compromise how people perceive me."

That's perfectly reasonable.
Just don't go around acting like that reasoning must apply to everyone else. Because it doesn't work for me.

It completely answers the question. Humans are private and seek privacy. I don't want some perverts staring at me and my girl when she's giving me a blowjob, would you?

I wouldn't care if someone wanted to watch me getting a blowjob. That instance is different, though, because I'd also need the okay from whoever's blowing me, as well. But when it comes to solo activities, no, I could have an entire audience of people watching me for my entire life, and I would not give a single fuck.

It's bad for your every intimate detail to be known by others, especially people who may hurt you.

If someone actually wants to hurt me for whatever reason, that's their issue. That's an issue with mental health. Because you'd have to be fucking mental to actually want to hurt me for anything I have personally done in my life.

If you're so fine with having no privacy, post your darkest secrets.

I already have. I have no secrets. All of the people I hold dear, all the people in close intimacy with me, and every one of my trusted friends knows practically everything there is to know about me. I wouldn't know where to start with you, because I don't know what a "dark" secret is. I've never really done anything that interesting, either. And even then, there's no proof that I have/have not done any of these things, either, so it seems pretty fruitless, but if you really want me to list things about my life to you, I will.

Your worst feelings, your weaknesses, your failures, your shortcomings in every sort of way.

Yes, yes. EVERYTHING. I've already divulged EVERYTHING.

Stream yourself when you jack off for the world to see.

Just because I don't care about my privacy doesn't mean I'm gonna go out of my way to reveal my personal life at every single opportunity. I'm just saying, if there's ever a time when someone asks me an "intimate" or "personal" question, like, "Have you ever wanted to kill yourself?", I will have NO qualms with answering that question. NONE. ZERO.

After all, you don't need privacy. Let the world watch you shit, eat, sleep, wake, piss, fail at life.

If I had any inclination or reason to do so, I would. It wouldn't bother me at all.

Release your medical records and your medical history. Give up your social security number. You don't need it, you don't need privacy.

That's not privacy--that's security.

If you don't do any of the above, you're a blaring hypocrite and a coward going against your own word.

not caring about privacy =/= going out of your way to reveal all personal info

You're pathetic.

Except it does, tard. If you didn't think it was a thing that shouldn't be used it wouldn't be a privacy issue.

with that logic, all rules are privacy issues

harassment is also "a thing that shouldn't be used"
so i guess that means it's a privacy issue as well

okay, you win

but not really though

Which falls under the "privacy" envelope you retard

except it doesn't

especially because i'm fucking using my face as an avatar
how the fuck is that at all private

Offensive things aren't against the law.

no one's talking "the law"
we're talking about the rules of the forum

and it's against the rules of the forum to harass/insult users, which you are doing with your avatar

>hurrr if you're a law abiding citizen you have nothing to worry about
>hurrr im autistic and privacy is overrated, who needs privacy LOL

K then Verb, share everything with the world. All your most intimate details, your secrets, your weaknesses, your strengths, everything. You shouldn't care about privacy after all, and it's why you totally didn't cry to the mods when I used your face for my avatar, right? Claiming it to be violation of your privacy? Oh right, you shouldn't care so nevermind.

Hypocrite.

>implying i reported it because of privacy

i reported it because i take it offensively, you dumb fuck
you're using it solely to make fun of me, and i don't appreciate it

especially because you probably have never shown your own face on the internet
pussy

Why are people so incapable of answering that simple question?

We are talking about your rights to privacy in your every day life.

And I listed two very real, every day life examples. Your point?

You should not have to share every detail of your life with others if you do not wish to. What is difficult to understand about that?

What is so difficult to understand why I don't care about my privacy? At all? Whatsoever?

Because it's completely irrational?

Maybe if you care so much about your privacy... Stop breaking the law? And then you won't have to worry?

dumb

Do not use the dumbass excuse "I have nothing to hide". That is such an idiotic response to that question.

Why? I don't have anything to hide. Why should I give a fuck about my privacy?
Why should anyone, but a criminal, care?