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7201
« on: July 12, 2017, 10:01:52 PM »
Advertisements are tied to what YOU are viewing, and it's been this way for several years now.
you can opt out of personalized advertisements and just get random ones not based on your browsing habits
fair enough, didn't know this clearly most people don't bother
7202
« on: July 12, 2017, 09:45:34 PM »
It's also pronounced coup de graS, Verb.
french doesn't deserve not to be butchered tbh
7203
« on: July 12, 2017, 02:48:59 PM »
i'd describe it as common knowledge
7204
« on: July 12, 2017, 02:10:59 PM »
floyd mayweather has never even thrown a fireball in his life, what a boring talentless motherfucker
Thanks for openly admitting you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about
no boxer has ever been able to do this

therefore it's a sport not worth watching
apart from it being unethical as fuck
Leave the discussion of boxing/MMA/fighting in general to the people that know what they're talking about.
Go back to your button mashing.
i only need to know two things about boxing to have an opinion on it
1. it's not nearly as cool as fighting games are (LMAO MAYWEATHER CAN'T DO A HADOKEN WHAT A FAGGOT) 2. it's unethical and you're probably a bad person for supporting it
How is it not ethical lmao
Two people enter a ring with gloves and consent to fight each other following a set of rules which results in a fair and clean fight.
building an entire industry around the exploitation of stupid and poor people over a worthless bloodsport that contributes fuck all to society is pretty fucking shitty unethical may not be the best word, but it's fucking awful anyway it's not okay for it to exist
7205
« on: July 12, 2017, 01:22:19 PM »
Have you tried going anywhere near the bird that dropped you off?
Yeah, nothing happens.
Look around up there.
I'm not being too spoilery am I?
Nah, something always felt fishy about that crow to me anyway. I'll snoop around there later.
7206
« on: July 12, 2017, 01:11:38 PM »
floyd mayweather has never even thrown a fireball in his life, what a boring talentless motherfucker
Thanks for openly admitting you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about
no boxer has ever been able to do this

therefore it's a sport not worth watching
apart from it being unethical as fuck
Leave the discussion of boxing/MMA/fighting in general to the people that know what they're talking about.
Go back to your button mashing.
i only need to know two things about boxing to have an opinion on it 1. it's not nearly as cool as fighting games are (LMAO MAYWEATHER CAN'T DO A HADOKEN WHAT A FAGGOT) 2. it's unethical and you're probably a bad person for supporting it
7207
« on: July 12, 2017, 01:10:25 PM »
Have you tried going anywhere near the bird that dropped you off?
Yeah, nothing happens.
7208
« on: July 12, 2017, 12:57:27 PM »
floyd mayweather has never even thrown a fireball in his life, what a boring talentless motherfucker
Thanks for openly admitting you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about
no boxer has ever been able to do this  therefore it's a sport not worth watching apart from it being unethical as fuck
7209
« on: July 12, 2017, 12:45:08 PM »
dark souls has recaptured all my gaming time, but i'll come back to this soon enough
7210
« on: July 12, 2017, 12:36:39 PM »
Have you explored much of Firelink Shrine?
There doesn't seem to be a whole lot to explore, but I'm currently in the Catacombs, if that answers your question. I stumbled upon this place WAY WAY back when I first got here, and only now am I strong enough to be heading through it.
7211
« on: July 12, 2017, 11:59:04 AM »
I won't be maxing out my armor any time soon, because I'm gonna need four Titanite Slabs. I've never even seen one.
7212
« on: July 12, 2017, 11:50:32 AM »
i cannot wrap my mind around the fact that people actually give a fuck about this
and I can't wrap my mind around people watching others play fighting games
because it's actually exciting and no one actually gets injured floyd mayweather has never even thrown a fireball in his life, what a boring talentless motherfucker
7213
« on: July 12, 2017, 11:25:18 AM »
i remember being so delighted to hear that destiny was console exclusive
i remember saying that i wanted it to be the best game ever, just so PC shit race couldn't have it
7214
« on: July 12, 2017, 10:43:11 AM »
That was a satisfying end, the feeling of being so close to winning but also nearly dying is such a rush
Most people just chuck on full Havel and wail on them, good job for not doing that
Is that the easy method you were talking about?
7215
« on: July 12, 2017, 08:39:30 AM »
i cannot wrap my mind around the fact that people actually give a fuck about this
7216
« on: July 12, 2017, 08:23:07 AM »
Dammit Verb, did you learn nothing from my third video about the elevators?
i actually alternated between remembering and forgetting to send the elevator back up, i just forgot those times lol since no one has told me yet, i'm assuming there really IS no bonfire for me to find down there which would make sense, but it would be nice to put that to rest
7217
« on: July 12, 2017, 08:19:52 AM »
oh god i sound so tired towards the end
no kidding
was hoping it wouldn't come through too much that's what i get for recording too late i suppose
7218
« on: July 12, 2017, 01:19:54 AM »
default to windows 10 nature shots that change every time i turn the machine on
7219
« on: July 12, 2017, 01:01:33 AM »
How dare you imply tekken is a bad fighting game
>3D fighters bleah
7220
« on: July 12, 2017, 12:58:58 AM »
red
7221
« on: July 12, 2017, 12:57:11 AM »
Thank you so much! Very detailed and helpful. I've made tons of corrections, but with some I had some justifications/questions.
[6] "How couldn't it have been" and "that old maniac was scared out of his mind" are connected ideas. I was trying to say "how couldn't it have been" because he was so shaken up. As in, no one who's that freaked out is going to give Schuyler faulty info. Is there a better way to word that?
[8] The narrative voice is supposed to be as formal as Schuyler's manner of speaking, is that a bad thing? I don't want it to be awkward to read, but I do want it to be consistent with who's telling the story.
[22] I used the omniscient wording purposely, because I wanted to imply that Schuyler is so certain of his ability to read people that he's narrating from that almost omniscient point of view. I can see how that would be awkward, though.
[23] That would make sense if he was interrupting her, but he wasn't. That would be a bit out of character, he wants her to be coming to her own conclusions, but still helping her when necessary. She was trailing off, and there was supposed to be a long pause there, as if she couldn't think of the word.
[37] I added the "twisting my metaphor" as a way to show that Schuyler is almost proud of his overly-loquacious manner of speaking. As if he was mad that she twisted it. I try to communicate a lot of his feelings about things through the actual narration itself, because I hate explainy character exposition and would rather show it. Would an adjective in front of "twisted" be better, or still too much? Like "she said, shamelessly twisting my metaphor"?
But anyway, thanks again. It really helps. I totally forgot about comma splices, I need to watch out for those don't worry - the irony is intended
re: [6] upon reinspection, you're right, i guess it's fine the way it is re: [8] i see, that's fair enough—that's not a problem at all; schuyler can be formal, just remember to keep him human re: [22] i see where you're coming from, but i'd still be wary—a character who thinks of himself as omniscient is different from someone who is omniscient, and it generally reads better as a story if that personality flaw is illustrated with a hint of arrogance, hence my suggestion—it's not a huge thing either way, just something to think about re: [23] fair enough re: [37] yeah that could work Also, my big problem is with content: I don't want too much exposition, but I don't want to leave readers confused as to who these people are and what they do. Were you confused at any point in the story? Did you want to know more about the agency and the aberrations it deals with?
to the second question, yeah absolutely to the first question, a little bit confusing at first, but it got better as i read on i thought the first paragraph was the messiest, which is why i edited that the most overall though, it seems that you've improved it a lot you changed the first sentence to: We were at Francis Square, and I saw that place a hundred yards away from the edge of the street.which is much better, but might i suggest the following: We were at Francis Square when I spotted our rendezvous point a hundred yards away from the edge of the street.or: I spotted our rendezvous point at Francis Square, about a hundred yards away from the edge of the street.the word "when" helps the sentence flow more smoothly, and is the more important change the word "rendezvous" is cool and it helps create an atmosphere of enigma/mystery imo as an opening line, it feels like there's something missing, though—you obviously cut out the bit where schuyler complains about having only been given a few minutes notice for the operation, which is a detail i think you should sneak in somewhere else—but as for a more gripping opening, i don't know, you could try opening with a short line of dialogue, like, "Is that the place?" or something along those lines it's ultimately up to you how you want to open the story, but just try to make it stick in your readers' head here's the last sentence of the first paragraph: When we got to the edge of this purported residence, Larcel stopped and looked toward me.try "my partner Larcel" or something to that effect this makes it clear right away that she's not a friend, relative, escortee, etc. which is something i think you want to do one more thing, let's go over the second and third paragraphs a bit: "Do you want to lead?" She was still mad, but she didn't want to show it.
"Sure." I reluctantly stepped forward and continued toward the house. It was certainly the kind of place that would provoke myths about it - black curtains fluttered in the wind, and the bleak walls begged for me to look away. It only served to solidify my hypothesis that this place was darkened. We cautiously made our way up the steps, onto the house's shambling porch. after schuyler's "sure," you could write the following I was a bit flustered, too. We had only been given five minutes notice for this case. Nonetheless, I reluctantly...i just think that detail is worth keeping in there, especially to give the reader a sense for both of the characters' moods, which can impact the feel of the story pretty significantly should you execute it well i'll read the rest of what you wrote later
7222
« on: July 12, 2017, 12:04:46 AM »
oh god i sound so tired towards the end
7223
« on: July 11, 2017, 11:49:55 PM »
<- Previous update: A Desperate Dilemma
Recap: - Explored New Londo Ruins - Found the Abyss - Faced off against the Four Kings, but failed to kill them - Created my first boss weapon: the Moonlight Butterfly Horn Current missions: - Kill the Four Kings
This is my first full video update—hopefully it's not too grating to listen to. If all you care to see is the boss fight, skip to 10:55. Spoiler Something I neglected to mention towards the end of this video:
The Four Kings is now one of my favorite bosses, next to the Capra Demon.
7224
« on: July 11, 2017, 09:57:04 PM »
in the next five years, ember is either gonna completely grow out of his degeneracy and cringe like no one has ever cringed at the thought of what he used to enjoy, or he'll just transform into some lovecraftian being
7225
« on: July 11, 2017, 09:41:07 PM »
you always find the most obscure pictures of reznor
7226
« on: July 11, 2017, 09:31:09 PM »
Next video ETA 2-4 hours
7227
« on: July 11, 2017, 12:36:27 PM »
The Sacrifice Part 1

i think you'd benefit a lot from getting yourself a tablet or something
7228
« on: July 11, 2017, 12:31:33 PM »
you tilted them
the fuck does that mean
when you beat someone to a point where they get flustered and start playing shittier poker term
7229
« on: July 11, 2017, 12:15:24 PM »
no one tops albert fish sending a letter to the mother of one of his child victims describing how he ate her in extreme detail
7230
« on: July 11, 2017, 12:07:31 PM »
tru is a good username tho
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