kill yourself

Quote from: Shhhhhh on April 23, 2018, 12:40:39 PM

There's very little the NES offers that the SNES doesn't, and the best titles on SNES are some of the best games of all time.

The gold standard we currently use to rate games basically started with the SNES.

snes is overrated

but overrated does not mean "worse than NES"

You guys expect too much. The whole point of a blockbuster is you switch your brain off and enjoy the spectacle. If you want thought provoking movies you go to the indie shows.

“Why can’t you just turn your brain off and enjoy something?”

Ask any critic for a list of their top 5 most annoying frequent comments, and this question is sure to be on there. Aside from the fact that it basically undermines the entire practice of criticism, what makes this question so frustrating is that it’s bullshit. No one is actually able to just turn their brain off and enjoy something–and if they were, then they’d have no reason to consume media in the first place–they’d be perfectly entertained by staring at a fucking wall.

Not having any critical judgement about anything is the same thing as literally having no taste. As soon as you’re able to distinguish between things that you like, and things that you dislike, then you’ve proven yourself to have a standard of critical judgement, even if you can’t define it.

But as much as I’d love to keep pulling this phrase apart and making fun of it, there’s another, slightly more nuanced question which critics get asked all the time that I think gets closer to the heart of what these people are really asking.

“Do you hate fun?”

There was a moment towards the end of the Winter anime season when I was watching Myriad Colors Phantom World and I legitimately stopped, took a step back, and asked myself, “do I hate fun? Because it’s pretty clear that this show has no real intentions of being anything other than fun; and yet I’m not having any fun, and I hate this. Is something wrong with me?”

Later into the show, there was a specific moment when I realized entirely why this show was not fun. It was during a scene wherein all of the main characters were being dragged into performing a school play by the head of the drama club, and where at some point it was revealed that the standoffish loner character who’d never been made an official member of the group was also there for literally no reason–at least in the context of the narrative. The meta reason for this character to be there is that it would theoretically be fun to have the entire primary cast participating in this play–but what I realized in this moment is that the prospect of having this character around meant nothing to me.

I did not care about this character at all. She had never done anything cool, she didn’t have an interesting personality or backstory, and she overall left very little impression on me. The idea that having her play a part in this school play would somehow make the episode more fun was totally lost on me, because I didn’t give a shit.

While ruminating on that, I remembered a time in which I did indeed have fun. It was in December of 2006, when I first marathoned the first season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. In that show, there was an episode wherein Haruhi and Yuki were recruited for a school festival performance by a band who’s guitarists were both out of commission. The main emotional crux of the episode revolved around Haruhi’s involvement with this band–but Yuki was pretty much there just for fun; and her inclusion was absolutely genius.

That’s because Yuki is an incredibly fun character. She’s basically an alien with the power to bend reality, who uses those powers to do hilariously mundane things in everyday scenarios; and she’s got a really memorable personality and does all kinds of super-badass things. There’s a moment of realization when Yuki picks up the guitar and starts shredding these huge-ass riffs and solos that of course she can play the guitar perfectly, because she can learn pretty much anything; but the setup for it is so well-earned that it goes a long way in crafting what is overall one of the most legendary scenes in anime.

Fun is not something that you get to have without trying. Fun has to be earned. You don’t get to have fun by sitting around on the couch doing nothing; to have fun you have to do something–and likewise, if you want to make others have fun, then you have to work for it. You can’t just dangle keys in front of someone’s face and expect them to be entertained if they’re over the age of 1, because they’ve seen that shit before and they’ve got standards.

There are no shortage of ways that a series can achieve fun–even without the use of brilliant writing, deep characters, or profound themes. Sometimes, the key to making something fun is just to not fuck anything up. Recently, I encountered a pair of shows which both took a very similar approach to trying to create the pure sensation of fun–but whose level of success in doing so came down largely to each show’s margin of error.

Heavy Object is a show about a small team of soldiers who are tasked with trying to take down these gigantic metal war machines called Objects through the use of knowledge and tactics. The appeal of each arc was just in watching these characters try to distinguish and then exploit the unique weaknesses of each enemy Object–all while running around and wisecracking with a brisk, light tone. There is no reason that Heavy Object couldn’t have been a fun show, and it very nearly succeeded at being one for me. However, what kept taking me out of the experience and spoiling the fun was all the little piece of dumb bullshit.

Like how in just about every firefight, there’ll be a scene wherein the characters get spotted by the enemy, but have just enough time to wisecrack back and forth before the enemy starts shooting. Or how most of the time when they’re being shot at, they seem to be right in the enemy’s line-of-sight, and pressured under heavy gunfire, but miraculously never get hit, while constantly taking out enemy soldiers. Or how in this scene wherein their teammate accidentally fires her anti-personnel guns at them, they stand there staring while an epic rain of bullets falls all around them. Or how in this scene, the characters are sneaking into an enemy base while the guards aren’t paying attention, and the one guy just leaves the door open like he’s asking the enemy to notice. Et cetera.

On their own, none of these moments are that big of a deal–but what happens when all of them are stacked on top of each other is that they keep me thinking about things that I shouldn’t be thinking about, and slowly eat away at the dramatic tension of each scene. How am I ever meant to believe that the main characters’ lives are in danger, when they can make enormous tactical mistakes on a constant basis and never suffer any repercussions? If the appeal of this series is meant to be the use of strategy to overcome seemingly impossible odds, then why does it feel like luck is always on the side of the main characters, and like they can’t possibly lose?

This isn’t to say that I’m totally averse to shows that are just about crazy ridiculous bullshit–but this show isn’t nearly over-the-top enough to be fun on that level. If you’re gonna have a story where the rules of reality barely apply, then you really have to go over-the-top for it to leave any kind of impression. At the very least, if this show had been really nice-looking, or had well-directed action scenes and great animation, then it might have been cool enough to look at that I’d want to watch it anyways–but given that the show is uglier than sin, it has no such qualities.

Which brings me to a show from last season that succeeded in all of the places where Heavy Object failed, called High School Fleet. This one is about a bunch of cute high school girls who end up commanding a battleship, which they use to fight against other student ships while some light mystery plot unfolds around them. The story is nothing noteworthy–but it is very tightly paced and written, without any parts that drag or get boring. Its characters are simple and easy to understand, but all of them work to keep the series brisk and enjoyable. Its themes are as basic as they possibly could be, its action scenes aren’t particularly clever or tactical, and there’s not really any deep, philosophical, or unique reasons to enjoy the show.

However, High School Fleet is hella fun–because as long as you can buy into the central conceit of a bunch of cutesy moe girls running a battleship, the show doesn’t have any bullshit. Every action scene poses a legitimate threat to the characters’ lives, and there’s even some tension in the early part of the show over not being clear on how dark the series might eventually get. Each scene is paced and directed in such a way that the action is satisfying and engaging, even when there’s not a whole lot really going on; because it’s easy to understand the circumstances of each situation, and how those situations are affecting the characters.

And a lot of how the show accomplishes that is simply through the use of excellent visual design and animation. When there’s an action scene that’s meant to be frenetic and confusing, then we’ll get a shot of the ship’s scaredy-cat navigator frantically spinning the steering wheel while her eyes transform into spirals. When the crew are about to fire off a big fuck-off missile to assure their victory in a battle, then that missile launches with an impeccably staged and animated smoke effect. The music, voice acting, animation, and dialog all march in lockstep to create a tense and exciting scene in a show that you’ll probably never give all that much thought to when you’re not actually watching it–because the appeal of the show is that the actual act of watching it is fun.

And I love fun. I don’t think you’ll find a lot of people who actually hate fun. There are plenty of other things that media can to do be interesting besides being fun, but when something actually pulls off legitimate fun and does it well, then it’s worthy of being celebrated–and I think it would be insulting to the accomplishment of those works to suggest that the best way to appreciate the fun that they provide, is by turning your brain off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHYmFJv_obY

YouTube

this guy really isn't that funny

just dope shit

agreed

Quote from: Eli on April 21, 2018, 11:00:00 PM

Why does it feel like Flee is the only fucking mod who does anything anymore

I mean... isn't he the only mod that isn't also an admin right now?

luciana and comet

for some reason

slaughter everyone

this forum has never been known to ban people for inherently wrong things anyway so who cares

Quote from: Shhhhhh on April 21, 2018, 01:12:04 PM

Quote from: SecondClass on April 21, 2018, 01:03:50 PM

Quote from: Shhhhhh on April 21, 2018, 12:58:43 PM

Quote from: SecondClass on April 21, 2018, 12:49:44 PM

Not a pedophile in any sense

Only thing you could tangentially use as evidence is the azula thing but I liked her when I was younger than her lol

so why are you posting lewd pictures of underage children

I'm not

The pic in the OP of the other thread wasn't sexualized at all, literally just a mad kid looking down at you

Side note, I take no responsibility for bzk's gifs

you're obviously bzk because he's just another piece of this game you're playing

why was she wearing fishnets

lol I'm literally not

I'm lucky he even still talks to me, he hates me but he doesn't really have anyone else. I don't care if he has the pedo inclination, he's a good person and wouldn't hurt anyone

And I didn't even notice, I just like the crossed arms and expression -- not even in any bad way, it's just super cute

you didn't notice the most alarming and prominent aspect of the image

Not a pedophile in any sense

Only thing you could tangentially use as evidence is the azula thing but I liked her when I was younger than her lol

so why are you posting lewd pictures of underage children

nice, we get to perma you now

Quote from: Shhhhhh on April 20, 2018, 06:14:47 PM

except you can only choose two of those things

so, which ones

the one you don't choose will be corrupted into its logical opposite extreme:

if you're not good, you're terrible
if it doesn't make you money, then you'll struggle to survive
if you don't love it, you absolutely hate it

Money and I love doing it. As Das said, clearly other people seem to appreciate it enough to pay me so I'm fine with sucking.

i clarified myself above

Who cares if I suck as long as I somehow make money and enjoy it?

because then you're not qualified, and you'll get fired/struggle to find work in general

So, the Smash subreddit did a poll recently where they all voted for their most-wanted characters.

Looking at the top 10, these are actually surprisingly reasonable picks—Neither Ridley, nor Geno, nor GOKU even made the top 10!—but after looking over the top 100, it turns out that they were only able to come up with 5 genuinely good (and realistic) ideas with a small handful of ideas that are good, but are completely unrealistic. Pretty much all the rest are insane crack picks, and you can see for yourself.

Simon Belmont has been my #1 most wanted character since pre-Brawl, and I voted for him on the ballot, but I'm not going to pretend as if it's actually going to happen. I was pleased to discover that he got 22nd place, however—I guess people have some degree of taste after all.

Waluigi being the most wished-for character pleases me. After Simon, he's probably my second most wanted character, because I've always been that one weird guy who always picks Waluigi in Mario Party. I always thought he deserved a lot more love for being such a fun character, so it was nice to discover that people seem to feel the same way. That said, I do realize that the last thing Smash needs is more Mario characters—so, if they were to add Waluigi (which is probably not going to happen, if we're being completely realistic), you could have him replace Bowser Jr. or Rosalina & Luma. No one would care.

Shovel Knight being #2 makes sense, and I'm not opposed to him being in Smash either. I think I used to be, but after giving it some thought, I think it makes decent enough sense. That said, I still need to actually play Shovel Knight.

Banjo & Kazooie is whatever. I don't really care for them, as they were never part of my childhood. Old collect-a-thons are really fucking gross to play. If they absolutely MUST be in, I can accept them, but it's no skin off my back if they don't make it. It seems likely that they will, though. I wouldn't be surprised at all.

King K. Rool is a fucking stupid idea and people need to let the meme die. HE'S JUST A SHITTY BOWSER. Look at him. He is literally the exact same fucking character in every way, only he's stupider. I get that Smash needs more villains, and it also needs more heavy characters, and K. Rool fits both of those criteria—but I never actually want to look at him, because his design is so fucking terrible. He would stick out like a sore thumb in a sea of characters that actually have these inspired, iconic, and time-tested designs. Unless they completely reimagine him to make him look less like shit, or something, but even then, he's still lame as fuck.

Crash Bandicoot would just be stupid and jarring, mainly because he has nothing to do with Nintendo, and he's just kinda boring. I realize guest characters exist, but I just think there are much better options. But maybe I'm biased, because this is another character I never really grew up with, too.

Isaac from Golden Sun is one of those rare good ideas—but it's not happening, and everyone knows it.

Bandana Dee would be dumb. We don't really need more Kirby characters—especially not random shit like this.

Rex would be dogshit because Xenoblade is dogshit. That said, of ALL the shitty fucking ideas, Rex/Pyra are practically guaranteed to be in the game, and I'm so fucking pissed about that.

Sora is a good idea. Kingdom Hearts III is dropping fairly soon after twelve years of development hell, and it's a fairly iconic and important franchise, despite what anyone thinks of it, so I wouldn't be shocked at all, nor would I be disappointed, to see him make it in.

Decidueye is a given. I like Decidueye and all, but knowing that he's going to be in the game regardless of what anyone actually wants kinda rubs me the wrong way. It was the same with Greninja. It just reeks of corporate cynicism to me, but whatever.

5/10 genuinely good ideas. I would've added Spring Man/Ribbon Girl to turn that into a 7/10, along with Shantae, Simon Belmont, and Sidon/Urbosa for the perfect 10/10 wish list.

Oh, and bring back Wolf, Snake, and ICs.

Get rid of Dark Pit, get rid of Bayonetta, and get rid of every FE character except Marth and Roy.