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Topics - Carmen
« on: January 16, 2020, 06:40:18 PM »
This is something that happened lol. The speech ends at 30:47, so you can skip there for the funny part where I give an update on my life.
« on: January 15, 2020, 03:16:06 PM »
How is everyone? I hope we're all making progress in our lives. I'm still hosting movies every night if you ever want to watch something cool. I'm of course back on DXM but it's doing wonders for me and I'm using it well. Things are looking up!
Please let me know any updates about you, too.
No work, just me. And by weekend - sorry, I actually mean my days off. Those days are Monday and Tuesday. I've really been having a hard time with TVC/Discord stuff. The fact that this is my important issue, is a luxury. I know. That's why I'm trying to stay on the path of good.
I'll use Sep7agon a lot in these coming days. It's nice to be able to take your time with your posts. You can reword things and such. I hope that this will be a positive weekend.
Crazy how your perception of a character can change. Since he was spared by Rick and jailed, Negan has become such a cool, fascinating character. His personality is a lot better when he's not in power, when he's been humbled. He was annoying as an antagonist, but as a side character / protagonist I love him.
« on: December 03, 2019, 06:08:45 PM »
I've taken the criticism I've gotten IRL and on the Internet and have applied it. The result of my sobriety is more focus on things that matter, but also a much more jaded view of myself and others. I don't make friends with people as easily, and I can't see the best in everyone anymore.
If you don't like my personality or humor, there's not much I can do there. But to ban me from a Discord for my name when I'm trying to be a nice, reasonable person is just a little bit petty, I think. You can't hate me for the party line when I haven't done those things since I came to Florida. I've been excelling at my job, and actually got my first raise of my professional life last week. I've been taking it very seriously, but I guess I'll always be a bit stigmatized here. It's disheartening for sure, but I shouldn't complain. I've earned the distrust from my past, but despite what the cynics will say, people can change. I hope the perception of me can change too.
I woke up feeling bright and refreshed. My mom had to go into Orlando for an EEG, that's a neuroscience thing to get more info on whatever's causing her brain to have seizures. I took a shower, had a light breakfast, and went into work. I recently moved to Florida, as some of you know, and I'm quickly proving myself at my new hotel job. So far, I've gotten nothing but compliments and assurances of my expertise at being a front desk agent, and I really want to keep that going. Being on drugs would do nothing but weigh me down.
I spent some time today reviewing my life through the countless threads I've made on this site. I don't like the person I've made myself out to be, and I while I believe I've changed, I understand if most of you aren't convinced. While a straight-edged life is boring, it's fruitful and it's exactly what my family and myself need right now. I can't afford another slip. I can't afford anything less than perfection right now. I only make $10 an hour, my mom doesn't work, and our rent is $900 a month.
We escaped my abusive stepfather, but now we're facing reality. I don't have a lot of hormones left, and while yes, I'd like to continue my transition, any goals of passing as a girl are out the window for me. I don't have enough money for drugs, and my new mindset refuses to let me break any laws in search of a brief escape from sobriety. I'm a bad person, one of the worst I know. I'm not pretending to be altruistic, but at the same time it hurts me to see my mom and brother suffer. I kind of hate their personalities, same as I hate mine. But there's nothing left to do.
The adventure I had today was just accepting all of this. For the next long while, I won't be happy or even entertained, but I need to keep up the facade of happiness so I can be liked. No one likes a negative jerk. The point of this thread is just to get this down. My mission: to use the gifts granted to me - my natural amicability, my physical health, and my experience - to provide for myself and my family, until I'm not needed anymore. Maybe then, I'll find a place to rest my spirit.
« on: November 03, 2019, 04:42:00 PM »
wtf I love Trump now
now I can finally talk shit about this awful group without being on their list
« on: October 24, 2019, 07:54:58 PM »
goodbye gainful employment
I'd better keep my current job, seems I was lucky no one here searched me up
« on: September 30, 2019, 02:48:04 AM »
Obviously the biggest draw of coming here is how it looks and feels like a real forum. No where else do you have the kind of profile customization and showoff-ery with each of your posts that you do here. Biggest competitor is Discord where you only get an avatar and a name color.
So I thought why not take this to its natural conclusion and allow unique text color in every board but Serious? We could do that in Anarchy and it's so great and makes the site look so much brighter. You can have bigger incentive to post with this. It's very fun and you should do it Cheat
« on: September 10, 2019, 06:24:45 PM »
I have AMC's The Video Club to run, but I am hereby making a commitment that while I'm awake, I will make at least one post on this site every hour
I like this community and I like that everyone here knows my whole backstory
« on: September 07, 2019, 02:14:10 AM »
Rude, right? I guess there's no substitute for the real Carmen
« on: August 28, 2019, 06:16:11 PM »
it seems like this forum has remained the same and there's the same people here but guys you need to go on other internet places - discord, twitter, tons of great places out there
but yeah my server's people legit made a whole rabb.it esque site just for our group, isnt that cool?
also I just came back from a lgbt camp in maine and that was fun - always happy to get back home though, with my shows and technology
how are you?
« on: August 05, 2019, 03:35:10 AM »
(the nose tap referenced^)
I want her energy and enthusiasm
She is so cool it's ridiculous
« on: August 04, 2019, 05:51:55 PM »
God I'm SMART!
Hey there, why not a UN game in times of this small amount of posting to spice things up? First of all, progression of anything (military movement, technology, recruitment, etc) won't be based off of amount of posts, but the amount if time passed. So instead of saying "Project Eclipse - 5 pages to complete", you'd say "Project Eclipse - 3 days to complete". Training 5,000 soldiers of any form takes a day and everyone starts with 30,000 (plus no knowledge of anything but basic swordmen). Declaration of war is allowed indefinitely, but you must wait a day in between announcing the war and attacking anywhere, unless you're attacked first (this only applies to territory occupied by another human player). All nations can take part in any conflicts, but the day buffer between declaring war and attacking applies despite any alliances.
I'm the GM and like two others can be if they wish - just let me know before the game starts. GMs can play - they start with 25,000 soldiers and cannot attack, however they can retaliate against attacks if the fighting is on their land. GMs, even if their nation is eliminated, control matters of the meta game like fairness and can step in if players believe that another player is playing/progressing unfairly. The game begins an hour after we reach five players!
Map will be the great island of Americos, with technology beginning at the iron age for all parties.
Please enter the game by filling this out: