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Messages - πΊπππππ
πͺππππ
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781
« on: November 13, 2019, 09:36:49 PM »
Any slips I have, I'll record here. Hopefully this will keep me on the up-and-up.
782
« on: November 13, 2019, 09:34:35 PM »
I woke up feeling bright and refreshed. My mom had to go into Orlando for an EEG, that's a neuroscience thing to get more info on whatever's causing her brain to have seizures. I took a shower, had a light breakfast, and went into work. I recently moved to Florida, as some of you know, and I'm quickly proving myself at my new hotel job. So far, I've gotten nothing but compliments and assurances of my expertise at being a front desk agent, and I really want to keep that going. Being on drugs would do nothing but weigh me down.
I spent some time today reviewing my life through the countless threads I've made on this site. I don't like the person I've made myself out to be, and I while I believe I've changed, I understand if most of you aren't convinced. While a straight-edged life is boring, it's fruitful and it's exactly what my family and myself need right now. I can't afford another slip. I can't afford anything less than perfection right now. I only make $10 an hour, my mom doesn't work, and our rent is $900 a month.
We escaped my abusive stepfather, but now we're facing reality. I don't have a lot of hormones left, and while yes, I'd like to continue my transition, any goals of passing as a girl are out the window for me. I don't have enough money for drugs, and my new mindset refuses to let me break any laws in search of a brief escape from sobriety. I'm a bad person, one of the worst I know. I'm not pretending to be altruistic, but at the same time it hurts me to see my mom and brother suffer. I kind of hate their personalities, same as I hate mine. But there's nothing left to do.
The adventure I had today was just accepting all of this. For the next long while, I won't be happy or even entertained, but I need to keep up the facade of happiness so I can be liked. No one likes a negative jerk. The point of this thread is just to get this down. My mission: to use the gifts granted to me - my natural amicability, my physical health, and my experience - to provide for myself and my family, until I'm not needed anymore. Maybe then, I'll find a place to rest my spirit.
783
« on: November 13, 2019, 04:12:21 PM »
whos the piece of shit tho
784
« on: November 12, 2019, 01:31:30 PM »
I actually like Negan now
only bad thing is that King Ezekiel doesn't give speeches anymore
785
« on: November 12, 2019, 01:18:25 PM »
I agree with verb, you need consistent rules and banning someone for being a jerk is ludicrous.
786
« on: November 11, 2019, 02:42:22 PM »
What about me, huh?
787
« on: November 08, 2019, 03:47:13 PM »
Hey that's near me
when does the carmen cult buy a city?
788
« on: November 04, 2019, 04:06:08 PM »
Honestly shut the fuck up
Sam no fun!
789
« on: November 04, 2019, 02:58:42 PM »
"Yes officer he always was a bit of a loner"
Somebody check to see is any more cats have gone missing in Class' area
There it is officer, that's the post
S H E W I L L K I L L A G A I N
790
« on: November 03, 2019, 04:42:00 PM »
791
« on: October 31, 2019, 03:01:02 PM »
I'm tired of the back
792
« on: October 30, 2019, 03:01:24 PM »
And then we'll shop
793
« on: October 28, 2019, 01:23:57 PM »
I don't though?? When did I lie about my personal life? When did I troll outside of Bungie.net threads like "the internet shuld be ilegal"? Bruh, before you deleted your old discord account I had pages of PMs from you (or maybe I still do) describing the exact manner how for years you made an intentional effort to obscure your identity and lie about who you are and where you're from. You seemed proud of it.
Not to mention, you've been caught lying numerous times in the mains, and you've made threads announcing "I'm just trolling jk" in reference to your entire "online persona", after which you went immediately back to the same way.
plenty of people choose to do this, and that's their prerogative, but if you get called out on having done it in the past, instead of getting defensive maybe you could try "that's not something I do anymore."
I don't remember any of that, and I'm sorry if I hurt anyone with that behavior. It's not something I do anymore.
794
« on: October 27, 2019, 05:20:05 PM »
795
« on: October 27, 2019, 04:45:13 PM »
I don't though?? When did I lie about my personal life? When did I troll outside of Bungie.net threads like "the internet shuld be ilegal"? The fact everyone has this impression of me means I'm doing something wrong, because I don't want to be seen as this awful person who lies. I can be dumb I guess, and I'm obsessive about things no one else cares about, but I'm actually sincere about everything I say.
I guess I have some "SecondClass stigma" about me because of my past. Understandable but no less annoying when I haven't acted that way in so long.
796
« on: October 27, 2019, 04:41:07 PM »
I'm so buying this lol. Only $13 and you get so much
You're not serious right
 I'm deadly serious. Maybe it's just because I like standing out, but I've always supported Bethesda and Papa Todd
797
« on: October 27, 2019, 04:31:35 PM »
Any misgendering is bigotry. I had to look up what tucute is:  Really funny that I discovered my gender with the help from people on this forum, then later I'm just pretending to be trans? Because it's just so glamorous to be this way. Whatever, I'm done. I need to stop using the Internet, or maybe just be a fake, reserved person on the Internet like I am IRL. My fault was being an open book when the book was badly written anyway. I'm never going to pass and Solonoid could call me a hon all day and be right. But to say I've only gone through this embarrassing, gross life to look cool is just so infuriating and idiotic. For everyone accused of being a trender, probably 1/20 of them actually are.
798
« on: October 27, 2019, 04:16:26 PM »
I'm so buying this lol. Only $13 and you get so much
799
« on: October 27, 2019, 04:12:00 PM »
man, doesn't this silly bullshit just take you back tbh
please read through this thread and tell me who's right, me or solonoid - I will blindly agree with your choice
you've proven time and time again that you don't know what's good for you in life, so i'm inclined to take solonoid's side even though i'd agree with aria and say that i think she's laying it on a little too strong
i ultra don't care though
this is all assuming that you're real and honest, which i have no reason to believe that you are (which again, has been shown time and time again)
If I was a fake person as you keep saying, I'd make myself look super good. I wouldn't lie about my life and my experiences to make everyone here hate me. I've had my problems in the past, but I'm trying to grow up and stop making irresponsible choices for my health and family. I've stopped all tobacco use, I don't drink, and while yes, I still smoke weed, I don't even do DXM anymore. Solonoid can say whatever she wants about my job/success in life. I really don't care. What makes me mad is her bigotry, and it should make you mad too.
800
« on: October 27, 2019, 03:50:50 PM »
man, doesn't this silly bullshit just take you back tbh
please read through this thread and tell me who's right, me or solonoid - I will blindly agree with your choice
801
« on: October 27, 2019, 02:49:21 PM »
If you PM me the posts, I can edit the name out and eventually it'll fall off the SERPs. I'm generally against removing content / deleting accounts / etc, but I will remove personal information on request.
Just FYI.
based cheat, PMd bro no I'm being serious, you have a dead job and moved to Florida to live with your mother
you can go on a rant trying to rationalize the situation in a way that let's you lie to yourself, but until you actually take your life into your own hands you're still stuck, and you'll know it inside
She's not 40 and living with her mom; it's honestly just a smarter financial decision in your mid/early 20s and, if it is to support her family, logical and positive. By the same token, working a "dead job" isn't a big deal. She's young enough that, if there's no route for progression, it can be leveraged to move to another position with equal/better pay.
Progress can be fast or slow; it makes no difference so long as you're always moving forward.
Thanks for actually being a reasonable person. Like I don't have some glamorous life but I enjoy it, and it's serviceable. I get to live in a first world country that has freedom of speech, I get to live in a house and not on the street, and I never have to worry about being hungry or thirsty. When I keep things like this in perspective it makes things more cozy for me.
802
« on: October 27, 2019, 02:45:55 PM »
I'm happy the way things are Now please leave me alone. On your hate speech I personally like women more than men, but no one is "superior" to anyone else just for the way they were born. No one is hijacking any fucking movement. Just because the trans community has become increasingly unpopular due to loud, annoying trans people doesn't mean that those people are invalid. Whether you're Bailey Jay or Christine Chandler, your dysphoria is just as real and valid as the next trans person in line. The only thing disgusting here is you literally trying to gatekeep dysphoria.
If you were a real supporter of our movement, you'd never misgender a soul. The fact you do this so casually because you dislike someone shows your true colors. This disorder isn't some popularity contest where only special trans people are allowed to identify as their gender. You literally typed "By taking exclusionary steps against him I feel that my trans peers enjoy a better lifestyle." If you can't look at that and see how awful and cruel that is - admitting you'd throw fellow trans women under the bus who don't fit your standards for how a trans woman is supposed to act -- then you're a lost cause. "My trans peers enjoy a better lifestyle" is such a selfish and ridiculous reason for denying someone's dysphoria. The LGBT movement isn't a club that only people you approve of get to be in, sorry.
My views on gender were never what you're describing. When you're young and you hate yourself and what you are, saying "women are better than men, kill all men" is a quick, cathartic thing to say. You calling me a man like some 4chan-esque transphobe isn't because of that - that's an excuse so you get to misgender me while still looking principled.
803
« on: October 26, 2019, 07:45:48 PM »
"Dead end job"? Nope, it's a great job that I love.
Obviously you have some issue with me, after all you're misgendering me still. Hit me up at Carmen#0001 on Discord so we can sort this out.
You know, nobody believes that you're actually so delusional that you can't see that you don't really live, you're just existing.
I know it scares you to think about what difficult changes you need to make, but you don't need to pretend you're happy in the meantime.
I am happy with my current living situation. What I'm not happy with are people being mean to me on the Internet and saying I'm some hopeless lost cause or that I'm a bad person. As I said, you definitely have an issue with me, so please stop whatever you're doing here and address me on Discord.
804
« on: October 26, 2019, 05:27:46 PM »
"Dead end job"? Nope, it's a great job that I love.
Obviously you have some issue with me, after all you're misgendering me still. Hit me up at Carmen#0001 on Discord so we can sort this out.
805
« on: October 25, 2019, 08:27:48 PM »
Ah, wait, I misread, full name? Well why would you post it online in the first place?
Verbatim called me Carson Keller, a cool made-up name that I personally like, then Solonoid had to ruin it as she always does and was like, asterisk real name
806
« on: October 25, 2019, 08:25:46 PM »
also bruh they didn't even call your last employer, or any of your references, much less google you, not to mention if there was a background report, they just hired someone to scan criminal records, not to actually investigate you
maybe not at mcdonalds
he isn't qualified to do much else, so it's a safe assumption yeah
although, the kind of boss or hiring manager who maybe skims your resumΓ© and doesn't call any of the phone numbers on it except for yours is more or less ubiquitous in any job that doesn't require a college degree, and several that do
Dude what's your problem? I work at a hotel, I'd kill myself before going back to the food industry. Also please don't misgender me!
ah so Starbucks didn't work out eh?
color me shocked
nonetheless, my point had nothing to do with fast food, it was more about the caliber of the work, and frankly, I don't know why you're acting offended
you're not qualified to do anything else
if you don't like it, then are you really going to get mad at me for saying it out loud, or would you rather do something about it? Go get the qualifications you need to live a life that doesn't make you feel bad when you see it laid out in writing
otherwise, you'll never be more than a clerk at a motel, a waiter at waffle house, or a cashier at Burger King
these aren't reflections of you, they're reflections of the choices you have made, and if that's not the person you wanna be seen as, buddy that's on you
I didn't even apply at Starbucks, I was going to apply but I got instantly hired at the first place I applied to, this Day's Inn. What do you mean by the "caliber" of work? Working at BK or Waffle House is low-caliber, yes. Working at a damn hotel is classy, and honestly is one of the most chill jobs out there. You get to be on your computer for 80% of the time, and as long as you're fulfilling your duties and you're clean/nice/pleasant, no one cares. What "choices" have I made? I made the choice to go to Florida to support my seizure-ridden mother and little brother. I made the choice to get a job in the hospitality industry, a sector I personally enjoy and that's suited to my amicability and other talents. I made a CHOICE to keep living my life rather than go lay on the floor and cry about how I'm universally disliked. It's a wonder I even get up, but yes, I make that choice every morning.
807
« on: October 25, 2019, 03:59:10 PM »
also bruh they didn't even call your last employer, or any of your references, much less google you, not to mention if there was a background report, they just hired someone to scan criminal records, not to actually investigate you
maybe not at mcdonalds
he isn't qualified to do much else, so it's a safe assumption yeah
although, the kind of boss or hiring manager who maybe skims your resumΓ© and doesn't call any of the phone numbers on it except for yours is more or less ubiquitous in any job that doesn't require a college degree, and several that do
Dude what's your problem? I work at a hotel, I'd kill myself before going back to the food industry. Also please don't misgender me!
808
« on: October 25, 2019, 03:29:02 PM »
also bruh they didn't even call your last employer, or any of your references, much less google you, not to mention if there was a background report, they just hired someone to scan criminal records, not to actually investigate you
? What do you mean? I work at Day's Inn (I'm here right now) and I'm pretty sure they called my references and such. All I had to say was that I used to work at Baymont, which is another Wyndham location, and they were so excited to hire me! It helps that since I worked with Wyndham before, I know their policies and the whole computer system and all that.
809
« on: October 24, 2019, 07:54:58 PM »
 goodbye gainful employment I'd better keep my current job, seems I was lucky no one here searched me up
810
« on: October 14, 2019, 09:07:51 AM »
if stevia queen isn't in it I'm not watching it
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