That thread was not a shitpost, it was a shit post. I doubt FBI would actually show up. How would they find your address from a post of Sep7?

Well they even knew what type of computer I posted it from. They called my Mom first so maybe there's some kind of identifying information in my post history.

How much of a humour dead-end do you have to be to resort to joking about someone dying?..

The joke wasn't about someone dying, it was about the boldness and absurdism of literally seeking out a homeless person, just to do something like that. The less edgy version is "I'm going to go find a homeless man and steal his food" and maybe that gives you an idea of the type of joke I was going for.

I mean I'm no Trevor Moore, but look at this video for the type of humor I was trying to accomplish:

I've learned not to joke around about this stuff. Especially considering this thread isn't even sardonic or humorous, like honestly I wouldn't be surprised if these threats are legitimate. The fact that Ian works at Disney only makes this more serious.

Thank you for being so reasonable, amicable, and understanding even though it took you four hours to find me. Again, I regret my actions immensely and this experience has been a wake-up call teaching me that you're always accountable for what you say on the Internet. Also, that everyone on this website is a whiny loser who will actually report posts to you guys, but only the posts of people who they don't like.

Many, many worse things have been said on this website, but because they were made by popular users, nothing becomes of them. In the future, you better believe I'm reading up on federal law and reporting ANYTHING that even slightly violates it. My takeaway from this day is that strict adherence to federal law while using the Internet is key, and any deviations from it will be swiftly sought out and punished.

I apologize for wasting your time and I hope you have a stress-free, calm drive back. Also I'm sorry for trying to shake your hand, forgot that we live in an era of fear.

Wow, I feel stupid. Goddamn Ian, you know I wasn't being serious. Talk about a wake-up call, guess I'm not allowed to shitpost here anymore.

Quote from: SecondClass on July 29, 2020, 09:00:43 PM

Quote from: Ian on July 29, 2020, 08:10:59 PM

I have an alibi and would never hurt a soul

Dude that's misogynist as fuck what's wrong with you

I have an alibi and would never hurt a soul

THIS WAS A BAD JOKE guys

fucking psychos have to take everything I say like gospel, I mean one second I'm an irredeemable liar, next I have enough credence where a blatant joke post is taken seriously enough to be reported to the FBI? Make up your minds people

Quote from: FatherlyNick 🇷🇺 on July 26, 2020, 11:25:33 AM

You can press the Tab button to select clickable things on a page and then press Enter or Space to 'click' them. FYI

Nah, that's too high brain, you asking people who paid for air ticket for their sub instead of buying working mouse to do sequence of two things. Class doesn't even calls it left mouse button, it's a "CLICK" button for him, that's how bad it is.

this made me laugh ngl

remember when Rick broke the fourth wall

So dig this, okay? I’m living with my boyfriend and as you know I’m open to polygamy and such, so he pays for this discord trans girl Hazey to come over here. He paid this girl’s plane ticket to come here lmao. And he lets me do DXM for this spectacular event - wonderful, right?

Yeah, the airport experience was great. We went there to pick her up, and I was so light and breezy. It was great because I got to have this big epic airport adventure without actually having to get on a plane or go through security. It was a whole thing to find her, but eventually we found a meeting place. As she said she would, she was wearing a collar, and as he said he would, he attached a leash to said collar and held it while we walked away from the disney store. Yeah, get that quote button ready folks, I know that will be the takeaway here.

They only did that for like twenty seconds though. While she was on the leash, I sulked way back behind them, acted like I didn’t even know them.

So anyway the whole point of this was to have a little pet over so my boyfriend and I could both dom her (definitely my boyfriend’s idea, though - he’s the one who even knew this girl) but she gets in the car and we’re driving back to our place from Orlando, and she’s SO awkward and weird. Like on discord she was so bubbly and shit, get to real life and try to have a convo with her and it’s impossible

My boyfriend did some awkward dom stuff to her when we got back, like no fucking joke this bitch brought a ball gag and everything. But it got to a point where it was clear that no one was enjoying it, and now I’m stuck with her while there’s this big elephant in the room. That elephant is named “No One Is Enjoying This And The Whole Thing Was A Waste”.

Now usually, I like to call out elephants when I see them - I bring them up and everyone is generally appreciative for it. But this one I’m not calling out because they’ll just both deny it.

Other tidbits from the night include:

• Hazey brought over these hydroxyzine tablets and said they were “just like xanax” so I assumed benzos, she gives me a bunch and I’m excited, we take them and everyone but me falls asleep for like three hours. Turns out hydroxyzine is an antihistamine and the effect is akin to benadryl

• My boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend overdrew his account to buy some shit (she still had his card info somehow) and put him into overdraft, and so everything we bought to prep for this got slapped with an overdraft fee. The ex paid him back but the damage was done

• My CLICK button on my computer stopped working so even though we have wifi now, we literally cannot use the wifi to watch shows. We can’t even watch the good stuff I’ve downloaded to my laptop. All of this would be fixed with a mouse, but we can’t get that until tomorrow

• Due to the above bullet, the only entertainment has been my DVD set of Avatar TLA, and actually this was kinda cool. That was the one cool thing.

But yeah, she’s an awkward introvert and my boyfriend is already a pretty quiet, introverted person himself, so it falls on me to be the entertainer pretty much. And that would be okay, but idk this would go a lot better with some alcohol.

Quote from: SecondClass on July 20, 2020, 05:50:40 AM

Like yo guys!

no

I’m allowed to say “yo” sorry nuka I guess this is the end of your story....

Not a house to call your own considering you live off his good graces you fucking leech

we’re in a relationship it’s an equal partnership

I’m dating a guy and we used to live in a house his sister is trying to flip for a profit, so we had to be super careful and it was this precarious situation, but now he and I live in a place all our own! It has three rooms and two bathrooms and a kitchen. It’s amazing. Finally, no more living with my mom. Finally, someone who sees my appeal. Like yo guys! The polycule may be broken, maybe I’ll never be rich after all, but I’m dating a dude who sincerely thinks I’m hot and is providing for me while he works for his sister. It’s amazing and I’m loving every second of it.

Enough about the blog post, how has everyone around here been?

Why do you bother here so often?

Because I like you guys! I’m a recognized part of a group!

It gets wild when it gets to granpa shark.

right!!
IRIGHT


grandpa shark doesn’t take no shit

mama shark! do do do do do, mama shark!