I don't know if my own mind is just having an information overload, but its getting to the point where its becoming tiring. I'm just sick of the society in this day and age. The internet, forums, and the crap that my folks watch on TV, including the fucking campaigns of both parties.
On top of that shit ton amount of notifications I get on my phone, and if I disable that, I tend to forget what went on until its too late. There's just no real way to balance everything.
At the same time I don't even want to go outside and meet any fucking people because people here are pretty scummy for the most part. Its partly why I'm largely an introvert.
I went to bed at 5am last night with thoughts like this keeping me awake still. I feel like its gotten to the point where if it gets any worse, I'm going to physically get sick and throw up.
Taking a break isn't going to fix this. I haven't been able to relax as of late and have been under major stress, really for no real fucking reason. Its a frustration that I can't find any contentment in.
Playing the guitar helps but its not a permanent fix.
I just feel like mentally, I might be losing it. There's so much fucking information and socialization is dying, people irl are just on there fucking phones, I can't even carry a fucking conversation with someone who isn't looking on their god damn phone.
I can't even fucking do that. Say if I have an appointment and I need to wait, I'd rather read a book or just sit there and do nothing, its impossible to even look at my phone like every fucking one else does, because all of the apps suck, and fuck mobile gaming on phones, that shit gets tiring in like 2 seconds!
There are times where I just wish none of this shit existed, including the internet, but no. Can't change the fucking world. Get all the advertisements and shows like Entertainment Tonight that my fucking family watches and whatever other celebrity gossips and news just to shove all this cancer down your own throat.
Its fucking stupid. All of it. Nothing but utter stupidity! There isn't a fucking thing left that's intelligent in this fucking generation. People as time goes on are only becoming stupider and stupider. What aggravates me even more is even the way people text now. I swear each time someone texts me with something like "R u o.k" I feel like taking my head and sticking it into a blender and turning the blender on hoping it quickly turns my whole head into juice.
I can't anymore. I'm having a fucking breakdown right now with shit. I'm trying to remain calm and just forget every meaningless fucking thing, but I need to write this just to vent it out of my system, I don't care if you read any of this or even reply. No one will get any of this shit I'm saying anyway so its just best to just write this shit down and get it out of my system because not doing that for me is only going to drive my fucking mind even more insane.
Its highly unfortunate that I don't have one logical person to talk to about this kind of shit irl. Everyone in one way or another is a fucking sheep!
I hate this, I hate feeling this way, but I can't help it right now. Sometimes I wish I was just fucking mindless like the fucking Kardashians or some shit like that, because at least I'd be fucking swimming in money and be too fucking stupid to realize anything!
Fuck man! It even sucks to be bitter about it, without some stupid cuck getting offended at you!
FUCK!
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strike three armen
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