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631
The Flood / Re: 1995 albums
« on: June 04, 2020, 11:50:35 AM »


Little Feat - Ain't Had Enough Fun
Swamp rock
Eleventh album

I gotta hand it to these guys. Despite being considered one of the great American rock bands (by those who know their history, at least), and having records dating back to the early '70s, they don't have a single household hit to their name—hell, even my dad never listened to them—but they still kept doing their thing anyway, and have earned themselves a legacy of one of the most commercially underachieving yet unerringly persistent rock bands in history. There's definitely something to appreciate about that.

That said—if you've ever wanted to listen to 70 straight minutes of the most meat-and-potatoes rock and roll music you've ever heard in your life, then boy, do I have the album for you!

Yeah, this was quite the slog for me. These guys deserve nothing but respect, but I cannot for the life of me feel any degree of entertainment or inspiration from rock music this boilerplate. It's just too plain. I can't do anything with it. They did get Shaun Murphy to sing on this one, though, and her impressive pipes are probably the one highlight in my opinion—but I will not be revisiting this one any time soon.

If you wanna get into Little Feat, I suggest listening to Dixie Chicken first. That's probably their best effort, and was made during the absolute high of their career in the mid '70s, so that's where the best stuff is.

5/10





Maná - Cuando los Ángeles Lloran
Latin rock
Fourth album

Pretty decent and inoffensive rock album with a few catchy songs on it. Not much else to say. Even though it's entirely in Spanish, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what the dude is singing about, accounting for the music's overall romantic sound—especially with how liberally the word "corazón" is used.

6/10





Flotsam and Jetsam - Drift
Heavy metal
Fifth album

Just another decent-ass metal album that fails to bring anything unique to the table. I guess if there's one thing that sets F&J apart, it would be their attitude? Eric A.K.'s vocals do have this charismatic in-your-face bravado to them, but this one element isn't really strong enough to carry the rest of the album into the "recommended" zone.

6/10





Mobb Deep - The Infamous
Hip hop
Sophomore album

I've been waiting anxiously for another great rap album after all this middling metal music—and I'm happy to report that my patience paid off this time around. The Infamous is easily one of the better records I've heard on the hip hop end of things, which is saying something, because I've given high praise to almost everything I've covered in the genre so far. At this point, I'm comfortable attesting to the notion that East Coast hip hop was setting some serious flames in the mid '90s.

Our two main MCs, Havoc and Prodigy (RIP), are accompanied by an impressive bevy of featured artists, including Nas, Raekwon, Ghostface Killah, Big Noyd, and Q-Tip—the last of whom also lent a hand in the album's gritty and nocturnal production. Crystal Johnson also shows up to do some crooning on "Temperature's Rising," which may not be my favorite single, but it's certainly a highlight nonetheless.

Consciousness in subject matter is something that I value a lot in rap lyricism, and again, being that this is an East Coast group, a great deal of care was taken to make each and every bar hard-hitting and meaningful. Combine that with the ominously off-kilter beats that keeping you on your toes on a track for track basis, and you get one hell of a riveting experience.

I still need a few more listens (and a couple visits to genius.com) to fully appreciate the poetry behind each track, but there'll be plenty of time for that in the future. For the time being, from a purely emotional standpoint, I can already tell why this is regarded as a classic. If you're into some old-school hip hop, but not too old school, you have to listen to this. This is the kind of music that oldheads will point to and say, "Why can't they make rap like this anymore?"

7/10





King Crimson - THRAK
Progressive rock
Eleventh album

When I noticed King Crimson on my big list of '95 albums to listen to, I was like, "Ah, fuck. I'm not gonna be able to listen to this one," because Robert Fripp is notorious for his curmudgeonly boomer-ish views on the way music is distributed in the modern age, and for the longest time, pretty much none of King Crimson's albums were available to stream (legally) online. Apparently, though, he changed his mind about this—and just last year, too, because now those records are available to stream now, which is fantastic.

I've heard almost all of them at this point—everything leading up to their '95 release, of course—and as a result, although I wouldn't necessarily call myself a King Crimson fan, I've definitely seen the light when it comes to this band. These guys are kinda fucking awesome, and consistently so, with not a dud across their entire oeuvre—although, admittedly, I still haven't heard a record in their discography that I would rank above In the Court of the Crimson King. I think knowing just how fucking old that record is—1969—really adds a lot to it for me, because they were so sonically ahead of the curve. It's actually unbelievable.

In the specific case of their 1995 album THRAK, however, I was told on Wikipedia that this record is intended to be a companion piece to an EP that was put out in 1994 called Vrooom. For the purposes of this challenge, just to make my life a little bit easier, I typically choose to ignore anything that's not a full-length studio album—that means no EPs. However, in the case of an album being a direct followup to a pre-existing EP, that makes me feel somewhat compelled to listen to it.

Aaaaand it's not available. Anywhere. Not for free, at least. I ended up paying $7 for the thing, because I'm a chump, and because I'm ultimately okay with monetarily supporting a band this cool. But that's the first and last time I ever pay for anything with regards to this project.

That $7 was well-spent, I would say. Vrooom is a pretty great EP. Not only is it lengthy enough to be its own album, it's another testament to the band's consistency in quality and experimentation. It's loud, stentorian, and bursting at the seams with flavor and pizzazz. There's even some industrial influence, which is pretty cool, albeit risky—but it worked out just fine in their favor, I think. All in all, it's just yet another artistically satisfying and evocative prog rock effort.

However, a number of songs from this EP would end up being rerecorded for THRAK, and I guess that's what makes these two records companions—although, honestly, there are points where I just feel like the latter is just an extended version of Vrooom.

That doesn't mean it's better, though. In fact, I enjoyed THRAK significantly less than I enjoyed Vrooom, and for a number of reasons—which is very unfortunate, because while I do still think it's a good LP, there's just something intrinsically less exciting about a King Crimson album where you've already heard half the tracklist. The new mixes aren't really different enough to make them feel distinct, and paradoxically, the two songs that were not taken from the EP would've drastically improved it. Further, out of the album's material that's actually new, most of it's actually quite boring to listen to. it all just kinda sounds like uninspired filler to me.

As a result of these issues, THRAK has actually turned out to be my least favorite King Crimson album. Again—it's not that it's bad, but most its best material had already been readily available in 1994, so...

6/10





Fair Warning - Rainmaker
Hard rock
Sophomore album

Sleep-incuding garbage. When the rock music is this generic, this trite, and this fucking dimestore, you would never in a million years guess that this band hails from Germany of all places. Who in Germany was asking for music like this in 1995? And why?

5/10



So ends the April segment. Overall, that was a pretty shitty month. Probably the weakest one so far. There was a handful of good stuff, of course, but there was so much mediocre bullshit, too, and I never gave anything higher than a 7/10, which is a huge bummer. I can think of three candidates that might deserve an 8/10, and might get one from me down the line, but I don't really think that's in the cards as of right now.

I don't know when I'll move onto May just yet, but it probably won't be until July, since I'm a little burnt out.

Anyway, here's the all-important chart:



Snobbier music nerds than myself would probably recoil at the thought of placing White Zombie over Aphex Twin, but I don't care.

I actually have some adjustments to make on previous charts, because Wikipedia is imperfect, and their list is constantly in the flux of maintaining date-accuracy. For example, when I covered that Porcupine Tree album, I was under the impression that it was a February release, but it is now being considered a January album—so I'll have to adjust for those shifts, I guess. This is what I get for relying on an unreliable resource.

I also have a few score adjustments to make, as well, but most of them are relatively minor, so I probably won't bother posting any of those.

Right now, I recently came up with another stupid (albeit quarantine-induced) idea: try to watch every music video from the '90s. I'll start and finish with the year 1995, in which about ~700 videos were made, according to this database that I found, so if I get tired of the mission by the end, I'll at least have completed one year's worth of videos. I've already seen over 90, and if I keep it up, I'll be able to finish up a ranked list in a matter of two weeks. Should be fun.

632
The Flood / Re: Anyone here not drink caffeine?
« on: June 04, 2020, 02:26:00 AM »
i've been drinking water and lemonade exclusively for the past four or five years now

lemonade breaks down kidney stones, i guess

i don't really feel any type of way about it, it is what it is

633
Gaming / Re: Game collecting
« on: June 03, 2020, 08:26:59 PM »
-The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (CE)
would CE be with or without the holographic label?
With! The box also says "collector's edition". I believe it's the least "collectory" ce I've ever owned.
cool, that's the one i have too, then

do you think you'll actually play it this time? 🤔
It's on the backburner for now. I have a lot of shorter games I'm rotating through right now, trying to get some completions under my belt before I jump into something more taxing.

While I find the time limit mechanic to be a novel idea to incentivize players to action, it also frustrates me for those same reasons. It's not really a criticism or anything, it's just a personal barrier to truly getting into the gameplay loop for any longer period of time.
yeah, that's understandable—although the mechanic becomes significantly more manageable once you learn the inverted song of time, you still can't really afford to dick around too much, which can be stressful (exclusively eustress for me, though)

what else are you playing

634
Gaming / Re: Game collecting
« on: June 03, 2020, 05:48:20 PM »
-The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (CE)
would CE be with or without the holographic label?
With! The box also says "collector's edition". I believe it's the least "collectory" ce I've ever owned.
cool, that's the one i have too, then

do you think you'll actually play it this time? 🤔

635
Gaming / Re: Game collecting
« on: June 03, 2020, 05:31:07 PM »
-The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (CE)
would CE be with or without the holographic label?

636
Gaming / Re: Game collecting
« on: June 03, 2020, 04:08:05 PM »
Went out for the first time in months today and picked up some cool stuff:

Final Fantasy IX (the only one I need now is IV)
Metal Gear Solid soundtrack on disc

N64 games
- Space Station Silicon Valley (been finna cop this for a minute)
- Rocket: Robot on Wheels (one of the more rare and valuable games for the system, I think)
- Scooby-Doo: Classic Creep Capers (one of the last games made for the system)
- LEGO Racers
- Midway's Greatest Arcade Hits: Volume 1 (Defender, Sinistar, Robotron: 2084, Joust, Spy Hunter, Root Beer Tapper)
- South Park: Chef's Luv Shack
- Nagano Winter Olympics '98
Brings my total to 134, or about 45% of the total library; I just need 14 more to own half.

NES games
- King's Quest V
- The 3-D Battles of WorldRunner
- Desert Commander
Brings my total to 328, or about 48% of the total library; I just need 11 more to own half.

SNES games
- Just cheap sportsball stuff; I'm not even close to completing this collection

637
The Flood / Re: Verbatim is a moron
« on: June 03, 2020, 10:49:43 AM »
How you are you gonna read Flower of Evil or Trail of blood and not say it's literary genius? It's impossible
never underestimate my power again

638
The Flood / Re: 1995 albums
« on: June 02, 2020, 07:17:17 PM »


Deicide - Once Upon the Cross
Death metal
Third album

Man. I'm sorry, but I just can't do it with this genre. There's a big part of me that really appreciates the murderous aggression and sheer ferocity that death metal brings to the table, but suffice to say, there are several facets to this genre that just send it way over the fucking line for me. The lyrics are tryhard and cringe, the rapid double bass drum kicks are overbearing as shit, and the Cookie Monster vocals are just utterly impossible for me to take seriously. It's not intimidating, it's not cool, it's not tough, it's just fucking silly.

I have more respect for a band like Death, because while I believe they did technically codify a lot of these tropes, I can say at the very least that a concerted and prioritized effort was made by them to craft listenable songs through the utilization of traditional songwriting techniques over just trying to rape your ears with a bunch of noisy garbage and trying to be as edgy as humanly fucking possible. On top of that, while I never loved Chuck Schuldiner's scratchy voice, I'll take his over Glen Benton's any day of the week.

There's definitely a place for extreme music like this—and by all accounts, I should enjoy this stuff. I don't, though, and it's a frustrating disconnect.

5/10





Fight - A Small Deadly Space
Metal
Final album

This one kinda left me cold, too. If you weren't aware, Fight was this other band that Rob Halford started after leaving Judas Priest in the '90s—Halford being one of my favorite vocalists of all time, I knew I was in for some good stuff, even if they only made a couple records.

The first one, War of Words, is a pretty good album. Certainly not on the level of Screaming for Vengeance, or anything, but that's okay. It was a different sound for a different decade, and I was enthusiastic about it.

In A Small Deadly Space, though, they kinda just do that ever-so-irksome thing that a lot of less-talented metal bands did, which is to just do the grunge thing. Now, that's not to say they went all in on it—they just kinda dipped their toes in, but it was still enough for me to go, "Really? You too, Rob? You're really doing this?"

It's one thing to experiment, or to take inspiration from other styles—it's another to use cultural trends as a crutch for creativity. At the end of the day, the musical styles exhibited on this album do not play to Halford's strengths as a vocalist, and as a result, you get really bad songs like "Blowout in the Radio Room," which probably features the most sedated and lethargic performance that Rob Halford has ever given. He sounds completely bored on this track—and even if that's the idea, that doesn't make it very pleasing to listen to.

Thankfully, Halford did wind up back with Priest within the next decade, and recent albums like Firepower have shown that they can still kick ass—Fight, on the other hand, probably won't have much of a legacy beyond mild curiosity.

5/10





Aphex Twin
Ambient techno
Third album

Are you kidding? It's Aphex Twin. Of course it's fucking good. It's one of those albums you should really just check out for yourself rather than have me try to futilely capture its nuances with my limited vocabulary.

The coolest thing about the album, I suppose—which is more just a strength of Richard D. James as a musician in general—is his capacity to take these really harsh and abrasive noises, and somehow make them sound calm and relaxing. Like, how the fuck do you even do that? You could fall asleep to any one of these tracks, no matter how scratchy and rough it may seem on the surface.

This is something I would consider to be a must-listen, if you're somebody who just appreciates all music. If you like IDM, there's no sense in me recommending this album to you, because you've no doubt already heard it.

7/10 (could easily go up, though)





Trouble - Plastic Green Head
Doom metal
Sixth album

This album is not available to stream in its entirety—it's not on Spotify, and only eleven of its twelve tracks are available on YouTube—so I actually can't formulate a full opinion on it. The missing track is called "Below Me," so if anybody happens to know where I could listen to this song for free, let me know.

From what I have heard, it seems pretty decent, I guess. This band was apparently instrumental in developing the doom metal genre, which is far from my favorite style, but I don't really mind it, either. It's just kinda there. The songs I liked the most tended to be the thrashier ones, though—the "doomier" tracks seem to be characterized by their low tempos, which can actually get pretty boring for me to listen to. But whatever.

6/10 (I guess—I doubt one song would change the rating very much)





Moonspell - Wolfheart
Gothic metal
Debut album

Four metal records in one batch? Jeez. This one's by a Portuguese band, and it's actually pretty fun. It has all the pomp and grandeur of a power metal record, but with a much darker tone. It's the kind of music that wouldn't sound completely out of place in a Castlevania soundtrack—although, I'm afraid that most of my enjoyment of this record does come from this novelty alone. If that sounds like fun to you, though, I'd say it's worth your time.

6/10



Just six more to go.

639
The Flood / Re: Transformers
« on: June 02, 2020, 03:59:00 PM »
why do i feel like cheese potato has been waiting his entire time on sep7agon for this thread

640
The Flood / Re: Wintersun
« on: June 02, 2020, 12:38:38 PM »
Well that was flamboyant.

I do admire their attention in creating a captivating music video. Definately has an interesting feel to it, but I'm not sure how I feel about them yet. I'll have to listen to more of their stuff.
yeah, that's a track from what is probably my favorite album of 2020 so far, West of Eden—definitely worth your time if you thought that was interesting

i wasn't expecting you to actually listen to that, because nobody ever listens to music in music sharing threads, so i feel obliged to say something about Wintersun now—but i'd be lying if i said the song you posted was doing very much for me

this style of metal, in spite of how epic and grandiose it is, is also very light and pristine and nice—but too nice for it to have any real impact or crunch to it

i guess there's nothing wrong with it, it's just not really my taste—i prefer my metal to be on the grittier and meaner side

641
The Flood / Re: 1995 albums
« on: June 02, 2020, 08:43:21 AM »


The Muffs - Blonder and Blonder
Pop punk
Sophomore album

Pretty standard pop punk fare, truth be told, but with a (recently deceased) female vocalist, Kim Shattuck, who seemed to possess a lot of Courtney Love-esque energy—and I do mean that in a positive way. Her roars on this record are pretty ferocious, and it's definitely her performance alone that highlights what is otherwise a pretty unspecial album. RIP to the lady.

6/10





FireHouse - 3
Hair metal
Third album

Over the years, I've developed a strong distaste for '80s glam metal. Earlier, I described the music of Rob Zombie as being the "good" kind of cheesy—for the bad kind of cheesy, look no further than this disgusting genre.

FireHouse is a band that kinda slid under my radar, though, and from what I've heard so far, I actually can't say that I hate them. They don't do anything special, but they do what they do well, and I think that's good enough. The best glam metal is the kind that's less glam, more metal—which is to say, putting the music first. The bottom line is that these guys have some genuinely catchy songs in their repertoire, and that's all you can really ask for in this genre.

This album is somewhat of an exception, though, because it's comprised almost entirely of power ballads—and there's only so much ballad that I can really put myself through. I'm just a guy who needs variety, and this record doesn't have much of that, unfortunately.

I'd like to shout-out the song "Somethin' 'Bout Your Body" for not being the typical braindead lusty horndog ballad that I was expecting it to be—or at least, not entirely. It's still ultimately about lusting over a woman, but in a bit of a twist, it actually starts out by praising the woman's intelligence over her body—which totally falls apart in the chorus, sure, but I just think it's neat how they thought to make a song about uplifting women for something other than their physical appearance for once. It was kind of refreshing, I guess, so I'll give them props for that.

5/10





Pavement - Wowee Zowee
Indie rock
Third album

Pavement is one of those too-cool-for-you indie rock darlings that every hipster on every message board will tell you is one of the best bands of all time—even Robert Christgau hailed them as the single best rock band of the '90s.

So, naturally, I don't quite understand what all the fuss is.

Slanted and Enchanted is one of the most It's Okay, I Guess? albums I've ever heard, and I feel the same way about Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. Granted, I've only heard them once, and from a purely musical standpoint alone (not reading into the lyrics whatsoever), I found them to be anywhere from nondescript to outright dull.

It must be the lyrics, then—but my thing about lyrics is that, in order for me to care about them, I kinda have to be into the music first. Maybe that's unfair, but that's pretty much always how I've felt about the medium.

That said, the way I feel about Wowee Zowee (awful title, by the way) is pretty much how I feel about the rest of their material, as well. The main difference, I guess, is that they must have gotten really fucking baked this time around, kinda like that Dandy Warhols album I covered earlier, because there's definitely some psychedelic shit going on with some of these riffs and guitar tones. Sometimes it's cool, other times it seems like they're just dicking around.

I certainly didn't hate it—I'm just not really hearing what all the hubbub is about.

6/10





Hum - You'd Prefer an Astronaut
Alt rock
Third album

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this of all albums to be as good as it was. In a way, this record kind of embodies everything that I wanted Pavement's music to be like—more driven, more tuneful, less bullshitting, and exhibiting a more colorful and interesting emotional palette instead of just trying to impress you with how alternative they are. There's actually songs present on this album—and pretty good ones, too. Ones that feel focused and purposeful without compromising that indie energy.

It's an album that functions under a pretty simple formula, so don't go into it expecting anything fancy beyond some of the moodier cuts like "The Very Old Man" or "Why I Like Robins," which are incidentally my favorite cuts—but if you like your alternative rock music to be a little bit on the morose side, I'd give this one a shot. Apparently, Chino Moreno of Deftones has cited this as one of his favorite albums, if that means anything.

7/10





Iced Earth - Burnt Offerings
Thrash metal
Third album

When reading Wikipedia's article for this album, it was described as the band's "heaviest and darkest" record—which got me all excited, but when I actually listened to it, I was kind of underwhelmed. It's certainly dark and heavy, just like any other metal album in existence, but it didn't seem particularly so to me. I might have to listen to it again with a different frame of mind, because that description honestly tainted my perception a little bit.

The music is okay, though. If you like metal, you'll invariably find something to enjoy about this. It's just not special.

Really cool album cover, though. I've been compressing each and every cover down to 200x200 pixels for the sake of having a clean and consistent standard, which is why some of them look like complete shit, and that's ultimately my bad. I'll have to figure something out to prevent that while maintaining consistency.

6/10

642
Gaming / Re: You guys ever play LoL
« on: June 01, 2020, 04:22:35 PM »
glad i never got into it, seems like turbo cancer

643
Serious / Re: Justifying Riots
« on: June 01, 2020, 01:07:42 PM »
There's a reason MLK said that, "darkness cannot drive out darkness, only the light can do that." His movement didn't go around singing kumbaya, but they didn't go around hurting people for no reason either, and yet they somehow managed to get the civil rights act enacted and abolish segregation and Jim Crow laws.
don't forget stopped racism!

oh wait he didn't do that because peaceful protests have demonstrably done fuck all to stop racism, fucking whoops

644
The Flood / Re: 1995 albums
« on: June 01, 2020, 10:29:39 AM »


The Dandy Warhols - Dandys Rule OK
Alt rock
Debut album

I think this is probably shitty stoner music for shitty stoner people, but maybe I shouldn't be that dismissive, because it's actually not that bad of an album. It just kinda gives off that vibe, and there's really not that much else to say about it. It's very listless, and self-aware in a way that lacks self-awareness, if that makes any sense at all. You just have to look at the song titles, which consist of things like:

- The Dandy Warhols' T.V. Theme Song
- (Tony, This Song is Called) Lou Weed
- Nothing (Lifestyle of a Tortured Artist for Sale)

If I don't think about whatever these chuckleheads are trying to say or do, and just focus on the music itself, I tend to roll my eyes a lot less, because there's some genuinely cool moments to be found on tracks like "The Coffee and Tea Wrecks," "Genius," and "Dick," which all play to the band's strengths, I think, in establishing moody tones.

But at the same time, there's some really self-indulgent crap in there, as well, such as the 20-minute three-part romp, "It's a Fast Driving Rave-Up with the Dandy Warhols," which has three whole tracks dedicated to it. It's essentially just one relatively uninteresting guitar riff played on a loop for that length of time, and it probably shouldn't have been on the album, because it's such a huge waste of time.

This album feels like a homework assignment submitted by the class flunkie who's actually really intelligent, or very talented in some respects, but simply doesn't apply themselves.

6/10





Oval - 94diskont.
Glitch
3rd album

This is the most disappointing album I've heard so far—maybe ever. Time for a bit of a rant.

If you're unfamiliar with my process when it comes to listening to new music, I don't normally just listen to a new album by an artist I've never listened to before without checking out their back catalog first. That means, because I've never actually listened to a Green Day album before (all the way through, at least), I'm not going to start with their most popular album, or their latest album—I'm going to start with 39/Smooth, and work my way up chronologically.

That said, I had expectations for this one. Oval is just one guy now—Markus Popp—but in the '90s, it was this pioneering trio of electronic musicians in Germany who helped to develop the glitch genre, and I find their methods very interesting. They'd basically just take a bunch of CDs and physically fuck around with them, typically by writing or scratching them, play it back, and make music out of the resulting ruination. Here's one of my favorite examples from one of their previous records:

YouTube

I thought this was cool as shit, so naturally, I was looking forward to their 1995 output—however, that excitement was clearly misplaced, because I feel like this album was created with intentions far outside what I was listening to it for.

The opening track of this 40-minute record is 24 minutes long. Prior to listening to it, I was thinking to myself, "Okay, so this track must have at least five or six movements across the entire song, or something, right?" Which is precisely what the track doesn't have. There are zero movements. All 24 minutes of this song are made up of just one short electronic loop—and it's not an interesting loop, either.

YouTube

Now, I get it. This is an ambient piece, and I realize that it's not unusual for ambient artists to stretch out their tracks to unreasonable lengths for whatever reason.

Further, it doesn't even sound bad—it's curious and aquatic, and were it at least 20 minutes shorter, I could see myself vibing to it. But no, it's 24 whole minutes of the same goddamn loop. Sometimes the percussion drops out for a bit, and then it comes back. At the 12 minute mark, the music kind of just stops to take a breather before starting right back up again where it left off—still no change-ups or anything interesting going on whatsoever. But I get it; this is part and parcel for the genre. I just don't personally appreciate it.

Repetition is fine—Swans is one of my favorite bands, and they're infamous for having these soul-crushingly lengthy songs where they'll play the same riff over and over and over and over again, but there's a point to it. The song is going somewhere. There's a tension being built up, and often, there's a rewarding explosion at the end. That's not the case with this Oval record. It's just wasting my time.

You might be noticing a theme—I complained about the same thing on that Dandy Warhols album. You could say that absurdly long tracks that go absolutely nowhere are one of my least favorite things to deal with in music. I mean seriously, though—there's no reason why this track needs to be 24 minutes. If it's trying to put me to sleep, or relax me, I can certainly find better music for that.

Maybe you're not supposed to listen to all 24 minutes—maybe you're only intended to listen to however many of those minutes you need. No one ever said I had to listen to the entire track, after all, and after a certain point, it should've become clear to me that the song was never going to change, right? So it's my fault that the song sucks.

As far as I'm concerned, an artist with foresight would release a track like this as a single, but mix it in such a way that the end of the song loops seamlessly into the beginning, so that when you have it on repeat, it'll be a perfect loop, and you can listen to it for as long as you want. Why not just do that?

Anyway, after that track is done, you've essentially heard over half of the entire record, even though there's still a handful of tracks left. They're all okay—just okay—which isn't enough to forgive the onslaught of bullshit that I was served on the first cut. Had these tracks been just a little bit better, though, I almost could have.

But then the funniest fucking thing ever happens. The last song on the album is 5 minutes long and shares the same title as the opening track—I'm thinking to myself, "There's no fucking way they just did this."

Way. WAY.

They really did just slap a fucking coda to the first track on the end—effectively adding 5 extra minutes of that same loop, so that 30 out of the album's 40-minute running time is all the one same boring loop. How the fuck is this even an album? I genuinely don't understand how they got away with this.

This was well-received, too. Allmusic gave it five stars, and Pitchfork put it among their top 50 albums of the '90s—later, they said it was the seventh best ambient album of all time. Ooooookay then, guys. I, for one, wasn't impressed.

4/10





Vertical Horizon - Running on Ice
Acoustic rock
2nd album

These guys are like a less interesting Dave Matthews Band, I guess. Nothing wrong with that, but they're a little too soft for my tastes, and their sound doesn't really lend itself to detailed description. Here's "Answer Me," one of the better tracks, so you can hear for yourself. It's all right.

6/10





Wet Wet Wet - Picture This
Soft rock
4th album

Crap.

5/10





White Zombie - Astro-Creep: 2000 – Songs of Love, Destruction and Other Synthetic Delusions of the Electric Head
Groove metal
Final album

Now we're talking. I fucking love Rob Zombie—and while I'm fully able to acknowledge just how objectively corny a lot of his music is, I honestly could not give a fuck less, because it's a major part of his appeal for me. He's cheesy, but in a way that I find kind of awesome. I mean, just read that long-ass album title.

YouTube

If you don't have a taste for this kind of stuff already, you'll probably never acquire it. It's very id-level stuff—it appeals to something deep and carnal within me that I can't really explain to you. It's kind of like watching a really shitty horror movie from the '60s, except you're having a blast—but not a ton of people are into that kind of stuff, so it's really hard to explain that kind of experience. It just has this intentionally gaudy "fuck you" aesthetic that resonates with my loins. Every song is badass and catchy as fuck—heavy, but not too heavy—and each one possesses a really tight groove that carries a palpable momentum across the entire tracklist, so there isn't a lull to be found.

This is probably my favorite April '95 album at the moment, and probably the one I was most familiar with prior to starting this journey, but I'm not going to rank it as highly as The Great Annihilator by Swans, or Delete Yourself! by Atari Teenage Riot. Those are legitimately great albums, whereas Astro-Creep 2000 is really just more of a "fun" album, albeit a particularly awesome one. It's just not going to satisfy you in the same way that a truly great album would.

7/10

645
The Flood / Re: Wintersun
« on: May 31, 2020, 12:44:46 AM »
HMLTD

YouTube

646
The Flood / Re: 1995 albums
« on: May 30, 2020, 10:45:30 PM »
(only one of whom is still living today, unfortunately),
Willie and Kris are both still alive my dudel
goddammit, i was thinking of peter christopherson

my fucking bad lmao

647
The Flood / Re: 1995 albums
« on: May 30, 2020, 07:26:42 PM »


The Highwaymen - The Road Goes on Forever
Country
Final album

Four words: Cash. Jennings. Nelson. Kristofferson. It's no secret that I don't like country music, but as it turns out, when you have a supergroup that combines the quadrilateral talents of all the most beloved stars in the genre (only two of whom are still living today, unfortunately), you get a pretty good album. Go figure.

It's not the kind of album that'll convert you, by any means, but it's hard for me not to be won over by just the sheer novelty of it, especially knowing that this is the last time they'd ever collaborate. The opening track, "The Devil's Right Hand," was written by my guy, Steve Earle, and is probably my favorite track.

That said, this is probably not even the best Highwaymen album. Try the first one instead, if you wanna hear the best they've been able to produce together. This one's worth a listen, but perhaps not if you just hate the genre out of pocket.

7/10





General Public - Rub It Better
New wave
3rd album

This is just some shitty reggae-infused new wave that probably sounded out of date in 1995, let alone 2020, notwithstanding some of the homoerotic overtones (not that there's anything wrong with that). Pretty strong "why the fuck am I listening to this?" material.

5/10





Duran Duran - Thank You
New wave
8th album

These guys are okay, but this is pretty much just a throwaway covers album. The song choice is definitely interesting, though—from Bob Dylan, Led Zep, and Lou Reed, to Public Enemy and Grandmaster Flash—and I don't fully understand the logic behind these choices, but judging by the album cover and the title, it appears that Duran Duran just wanted to pay tribute to a bunch of artists that inspired them and nothing more.

That's all well and good, but none of the material is very interesting. I enjoyed the cover of Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" (and Reed himself reportedly gave it high praise, saying it was the best cover of his own material that he'd ever heard) and "Drive By," the only original song on the record, is pretty interesting as well, but this album got completely slammed by critics for some reason. Q magazine in particular said it was the worst album ever made.

I mean, it's not that it's good, but I honestly don't know how you could come to that conclusion. It's just whatever. Not memorable, not useful, goes in one ear and out the other for the most part, but completely inoffensive. If a record has to be bad, this is as bad as I'd ever want them to be.

5/10





Montell Jordan - This Is How We Do It
R&B
Debut album

This is the one with that dumbass "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT" song on it, which is easily one of my least favorite popular songs that apparently came out in 1995. Everything else is just typical hyper-sensual R&B trash, and I have nothing nice to say about it. By all accounts, the guy does have a nice voice, but if he didn't, he wouldn't have a CD, so I need a little bit more than that. There's only so many songs about licking vaginas that I can put up with.

4/10





Blind Guardian - Imaginations from the Other Side
Power metal
5th album

This was pretty neat. As far as metal goes, I don't really think it does anything special or unique, but the band does seem to place an emphasis on dramatic narrative storytelling in their lyrics. Besides that, they pretty much just make really cool and shred-happy metal music. Every song is as epic and grandiose and empowering as you'd expect it to be—but depending on how much metal you listen to, the appeal may not come across to you at all, or it might just seem lame or passé to you. As someone who finds himself in the middle, though, I liked it.

7/10

648
YouTube

"I love how they hired a golf commentator for a giant mech fight"

649
The Flood / Re: 1995 albums
« on: May 30, 2020, 12:40:49 PM »
Imagine my shock when this thread hasn't been necrolocked yet... Anyways, I'm bringing this back momentarily. I'm bored, I'm quarantined, I have nothing else to do, so let's review some old fucking albums.

In the context of 1995, these will represent the month of April, and after this batch, I'll have sixteen more to listen to, and ten more that I've already heard to post my thoughts about. I'm not sure if I'll head straight into May after I'm done just yet, but probably not. This shit takes for-fucking-ever, and listening to bad music (which 90% of music is) can be extremely discouraging.





Daddy Yankee - No Mercy
Reggaeton
Debut album

This is the guy who would end up recording "Gasolina," and being featured on "Despacito"—although, hopefully, you've been living under a rock and haven't heard either of those songs.

This debut isn't actually that bad, though. I don't love it, but he raps really fast—at least twice as fast as Eminem on "Rap God" at certain points—which I think is inherently impressive if not fun to listen to, even if the lyrics are shit. I wouldn't know if the lyrics are shit, however, because I don't understand Spanish anyway, which is somewhat of a bonus.

The beats are kinda shitty, but Yankee's aggressive, rapid-fire, and in-your-face delivery makes up for it. I think most of you would probably find his flow extremely irritating, and I can completely understand that. Personally, I like his energy, although it can get a little grating for me sometimes, too. As such, I can't really give it a strong recommendation—although I do kinda see how he got so big just from this album alone.

6/10





Guided by Voices - Alien Lanes
Indie lo-fi
8th album

I'm not gonna beat around the bush—I don't really get this one. I'm definitely not opposed to the concept of lo-fi music, but GBV's particular brand of it kind of makes me question a few things. The record is an average length at 40 minutes, but it has almost 30 songs. This basically means that there isn't a single track that goes above the 3-minute mark. One track, "Cigarette Tricks," is a mere 18 seconds.

Is this album a serious attempt at music? It's hard to tell. I couldn't tell you if there's any songs that I like, because none of them last long enough for me to make that call. But they also don't last long enough for me to feel annoyed by them if they sucked. The entire album just kind of bleeds together into this big blurry mess, kind of like the days spent during a lockdown.

This is, more or less, how all GBV albums are. It's just kind of their style, I guess. I can't say that I'm personally into it, because I like my music to have some semblance of effort or purpose woven into them, but I can respect the desire to do something different than what everyone else is doing. I just struggle to recommend it on virtually any level.

6/10 (feeling generous)





Sugar Ray - Lemonade and Brownies
Proto nu metal
Debut album

If you're over the age of 20, the answer to the following question is an assured "yes," but otherwise: Have you ever heard the song "Fly" by Sugar Ray? If not, I apologize for linking you to this obnoxious earworm.

Anyways, yeah, that's these guys. Until they made reggae-flavored pop music, they actually used to make nu metal before it exploded in the late '90s to early 2000s—and it was no less cheesy and stupid in 1995 than it was afterwards.

Here's an embarrassing fact about me, though: I actually enjoy me some nu metal, albeit in progressively small doses as I get older. An album's worth of the stuff is probably a bit much for me nowadays, especially when this particular record has some super dumb jazz piss-takes thrown into it. It was also produced by the film director who goes by the name of McG, and if you don't understand why that's absolutely hilarious, I apologize.

No matter how much I try to deny it, though, "10 Seconds Down" is still kind of a banger, and "Danzig Needs a Hug" is not only a hilarious song title, but a pretty nice cool-down moment on the record as well.

At the end of the day, it's still just really shitty and dated bro music to the core, but I'm still able to find things to appreciate about it, even if it's only in an ironic sense. You could say it's my favorite kind of stupidity, although I've been weening myself out of it, and I ultimately blame my parents for getting me into the genre at an early age.

5/10 (but in my heart, it's a 6/10)





Strapping Young Lad - Heavy as a Really Heavy Thing
Industrial (death?) metal
Debut album

This is probably the loudest and most unhinged album I've covered so far—but if you can't tell by the title, it's done in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek fashion, where it doesn't take itself very seriously. It really is insanely heavy, though, to a point where it's actively hostile to the ears. There are some tracks on here, like "Drizzlehell," that are just absolutely out of fucking control with their noise levels. It's like you're stuck in an echo chamber filled with hundreds of people screaming at the top of their lungs in the most exaggeratedly horrifying way possible, or something.

At the same time, though, if you're somebody who looks for music like this, I wouldn't be surprised if you'd consider this to be lightweight shit. It's hard to tell with you degenerates sometimes.

Me personally, it was a bit much, in the same way that death metal is a bit much. But I did appreciate some of the more composed moments, like on "In the Rainy Season" or "Skin Me." There's definitely something positive to remark about music that activates your fight/flight response, or makes you feel like you're under attack, or being chased around by a crazed yet inexplicably musclebound lunatic on the street with an ax.

If any of that shit sounds like fun to you, maybe check this one out, but it's worth noting that frontman Devin Townsend has since disowned this album as "record company bullshit." Take that as you will, I suppose.

6/10





KMFDM - Nihil
Industrial dance
8th album

I'm not huge on these guys, but for the time being, this is probably my favorite KMFDM. Just really solid industrial music with a fiery political intensity, similar to the Atari Teenage Riot that I raved about several months ago, albeit not quite on the same level. I don't have much to say about it besides that. It's just cool music.

If you like Rammstein, you might consider trying these guys out—especially if you like aggressive EDM, because while they're not metal by any means, they do possess that familiar "angry German music" energy.

7/10

650
Serious / Re: Justifying Riots
« on: May 30, 2020, 01:09:07 AM »
Tell me what is inherently wrong with a CEO making millions of dollars
why does it need to be inherently wrong in order for it to be wrong in other contexts

what is inherently wrong

651
Serious / Re: Justifying Riots
« on: May 29, 2020, 04:43:54 PM »
i haven't been a fan of the amazing atheist for years now, but the video he just uploaded on this subject covers how i feel to a T and more or less answers all of your questions:

YouTube

652
The Flood / Re: What are you doing with your lives?
« on: May 29, 2020, 05:38:06 AM »
why is anal sex never brought up in sex ed when discussing contraceptive measures

653
The Flood / Re: Transformers
« on: May 28, 2020, 05:57:51 PM »
honestly my entire perception of transformers has been completely tainted by michael bay

654
YouTube

before anyone else thinks to post it

655
YouTube

656
The Flood / Re: Covid lockdown status update
« on: May 27, 2020, 02:14:34 PM »
no, people are just supposed to drop dead when you walk within five feet of them, that's how it works

657
The Flood / Re: Anime fans, what is the appeal?
« on: May 27, 2020, 12:50:07 PM »
I will never understand the appeal because I find the tropes and especially their idea of "cute" as being viscerally disgusting. Had weeb friends in middle school/high school and I genuinely tried to like it, watched several shows and even read some manga since they pushed it onto me really hard. Instead of converting me like they wanted, it had the opposite effect and I went from not really caring to flat out hating anime. Also made me realize how fucked up Japanese culture is.
I kinda get this too, though probably not to the same extent.

Though I'm also just not a big cartoon person in general, the only one I'd say I'm genuinely a fan of is Clone Wars and even that is about 35% shit.
maybe give Legend of the Galactic Heroes a try

it's about space warfare, and it takes itself very seriously

i personally find it boring, but i think it has baconshelf written all over it

658
The Flood / Re: Well, it’s been a few years?
« on: May 27, 2020, 12:24:37 PM »
What is it you study, again?
english and compsci
Since when were you doing compsci
same moment i realized that i needed a minor to get my degree

went for compsci because i already had a few credits in it from that time i switched
How do you like it
i think it's assfuck bullshit that i needed to take so many math courses just to qualify for the most basic compsci, but once i managed, it was okay i guess, but i still have a lot of resentment towards the system for putting me through the wringer

659
The Flood / Re: Well, it’s been a few years?
« on: May 27, 2020, 12:17:15 PM »
What is it you study, again?
english and compsci
Since when were you doing compsci
same moment i realized that i needed a minor to get my degree

went for compsci because i already had a few credits in it from that time i switched

660
Serious / Re: What constitutes a narrative?
« on: May 27, 2020, 03:24:41 AM »
My point is that these are not present in the text itself. Narrative is textual; we may engage hermeneutically in a narrative-like way with given pieces of text, but I don't think this makes the text itself narrative.

Perhaps I am just clutching, though; if it properly fits my criteria, then yes, it's a narrative.
narrative is textual, but a major part of any text is subtext

it's not invalid to interpret stories at face value alone, but if we're trying to define what a story is, i just think it's needlessly restrictive to write off all subtext, because stories will often contain much more information than can be interpreted literally

this becomes especially important when you consider stories told without the use of lexemes, such as cave paintings, hieroglyphics, silent films with no dialogue, or this story from the SCP Foundation that only uses images to form its narrative (which is a very fun read, by the way)

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