Quote from: Verbatim on November 14, 2017, 12:56:12 PM

"i'm finding it difficult to bond with my girlfriend because she hasn't touched my peepee in a long time"

"i'm having trust issues with my wife because she doesn't let me touch her fatty round parts anymore"

"oh no white stuff hasn't come out of my penis in like two days i've lost control of my relationship i want to die"

you're right, i have absolutely no fucking idea what being that pathetic is like, and i NEVER want to know

Ignoring biological urges does not equal intellectual maturity exactly. You're partaking in suppression of your desires, which, generally will surface at some point down the road in some form. I don't think you have some moral high ground because you don't like the idea of a girl stimulating your peepee.

it's not a moral high ground, it's an intellectual one

and it's not that i don't like the idea—i love the idea

but i hate being in the body of an organism who actually enjoys such stupid shit

Quote from: Verbatim on November 14, 2017, 01:11:30 PM

Quote from: challengerX on November 14, 2017, 01:07:59 PM

Flee just drop it he can't understand because he hasn't experienced it.

yeah i'm gonna have sex and then i'm going to completely change my mind

once i put my genitals inside of someone else's genitals, my entire philosophy will just implode

too much on the tacos homie I ain't feelin it😂😂😂

i can't tell you how likely it is that i will do a complete 180 the moment that my penis goes inside of a vagina

how could it not, sex is the most important thing in the world, duh

Quote from: Verbatim on November 14, 2017, 12:56:12 PM

"i'm finding it difficult to bond with my girlfriend because she hasn't touched my peepee in a long time"

"i'm having trust issues with my wife because she doesn't let me touch her fatty round parts anymore"

"oh no white stuff hasn't come out of my penis in like two days i've lost control of my relationship i want to die"

you're right, i have absolutely no fucking idea what being that pathetic is like, and i NEVER want to know

hahahahaha

my gf has'nt show me her bob and vegene anymore in 2 days shuold i brake up with he?r

You called me out on saying I thought it was pointless to stop having sex because you think it's pointless to begin with. I gave you some very real benefits which I think make it anything but pointless, some of which you ignored (the role it serves in relationships) or didn't really get to (the prostate cancer one that isn't compensated by just urinating). Your response to that was giving me alternatives which don't all accomplish the same things while being as effortless, fun and effective (and no, I don't think it's false to say that 10 minutes of sexual stuff before bed is more fun or takes less effort than switching your diet or working out).

celibacy is not this weird alien concept—celibates may not hate sexuality as much as i do, but they have just as much of a need for it, and that's why they're celibate

indeed, millions of couples already live happily in sheer celibacy, so whatever role you think sex serves in relationships must not be all that important after all—at BEST, it's dependent on the individual, in which case i would argue that the couples who engage in celibacy have ascended to a higher level of thinking than those who haven't, because they can actually see the beauty and value of their romance without relinquishing themselves to their carnal biological impulses

and no, i never said that urination prevents prostate cancer; that was a response to a completely different item (and granted, one that i misread as well): "ridding yourself of disease-causing toxins building up in your urinary tract"

UTIs are a very strange thing for a male to worry about, but having good hygiene is a pretty surefire way to prevent that, if you're that worried about it (which you shouldn't be, because UTIs in males are kind of fucking rare)

meanwhile, the alternative solution i gave for the prevention of prostate cancer was a vegan diet—i never said anything about urination

coming up with these alternative solutions feels like a waste of time, though, because even if i gave you the most immediately appealing alternative solutions, you would still say something like "well why can't i do both"

if you didn't want alternatives, i imagine you wouldn't have asked for any—but by doing so, you've diluted the discussion, when the core of the conversation is "why have sex" and not "what can i do other than sex"

so you list the benefits of sex, and i tell you that the same benefits can be achieved elsewhere—to which your response, of course, is that you don't personally like the alternatives, because they don't give you an orgasm (you poor little thing)

so to you, any type of behavior—no matter how useless and shitty—is justified if it gives you an orgasm, and also gives you a series of piddly benefits that aren't even remotely noticeable, and it doesn't matter if you can find those benefits elsewhere, because they don't give you an orgasm, and that totally outweighs everything else

even though an unwanted pregnancy could literally destroy your entire life, depending on how you choose to handle it

you see the struggle here

i can't really argue with somebody who seems to think that orgasms are the be-all-end-all of leisure activity

I think you underestimate how important that kind of intimacy can be for bonding, building trust and maintaining a healthy relationship. If you've never experienced this, it's near impossible to really understand.

the fact that you and i are biological organisms hardwired to reproduce is actually fairly simple to understand

the ONLY REASON we love sex so much is because it provides us with an incentive to spread our genes, which is our one and only biological purpose—that's all it is

our intelligence as a species has allowed us to rationalize our sex drive and form complex institutions and social contracts that give us further incentive to reproduce, and normalizes the process to the extent that people like me are fucked up for not wanting to reproduce and telling others not to

>bonding
>trust-building
>maintaining a healthy relationship

these are basically all just spooks—complex rationalizations of simple caveman behavior, all of which really fall apart when you sit down and actually think about them, because NEWSFLASH: it is very possible to bond, built trust, and maintain a healthy relationship without sex, and to engage in such a relationship is a sign of intellectual maturity

the further we stray from our biological impulses, the better off we'll be

I have a bunch of reviews planned for the end of this year. I'm planning on covering:

Dark Souls (PS3)
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Wii U)
Pokémon Gold & Silver (3DS VC)
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona (PSP)
Super Mario Odyssey (Switch)

A lot of these will probably end up bleeding into 2018 (in fact, I can almost guarantee that Dark Souls will). But I've been playing a lot of Odyssey lately, and what's really cool about the game is that it feels like such a big celebration of the Mario franchise as a whole. It's filled to the brim with tasteful references to the classic games, yet it never feels gratuitous, masturbatory, or as if it's just pandering to nostalgia-blinded 30-somethings.

It's a game that fills me with joy and excitement like I haven't felt for a Mario game since 2005, when I first played Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, and it's inspired me to make a series of mini-reviews for every Mario game that I've beaten or played a substantial amount of, before I go all-out and make a full-fledged review of Odyssey some time in the next few weeks.

I'll order them chronologically, and you guys can just talk about your personal favorite Mario games as well, assuming you have any. I can understand if you don't—I've been pretty jaded over this franchise for quite some time, but Odyssey has honestly rekindled some of my passion for it.

---

Rating some of these older games /10 feels kind of disrespectful to their legacy, so instead, I'll give them stars (or asterisks) instead. That means they're all good, classic games in their own right—but the more stars I give a game, the more I personally enjoy it. I'll give up to three.

Donkey Kong (1981, various platforms) To be perfectly honest, I was never really a huge fan of this timeless arcade classic. Its "competition" at the time consisted primarily of games like Pac-Man and Space Invaders, and of the three, I'll pick the latter two any day. There's just something about how sluggish and slow-paced this game feels that has always turned me away from it. Mario runs at a painfully grueling pace that's difficult for me to tolerate—and though he may have been called Jumpman, he wasn't exactly living up to it at the time. Your jumps have to be timed rather precisely to dodge those barrels, which would've meshed a lot better as a mechanic if the rest of the game wasn't so damn slow. And in this game, Mario can't take a fall for shit. He seriously cannot drop even one body height without dying, which can get pretty frustrating in 75m. The only reason I'd ever play it nowadays is to appreciate the iconic level design, and to see if I'm still capable of beating it without growing impatient with its archaic-ness. *

Mario Bros. (1983, various platforms) Now, this game is a little bit better—though, if we're talking about old arcade games, I'd still much rather play Pac-Man. Either way, this is where the franchise really started to come into its own in terms of gameplay and overall aesthetic. It has pipes, POW Blocks, Shellcreepers, colorful graphics, and rudimentary platforming. Fortunately, Mario (and Luigi) don't feel nearly as sluggish to move this time around, and at this point, they've actually begun to develop their signature jumping skills. You still can't change your trajectory mid-arc, but in this game, it's honestly better that way. Being forced to commit to every single jump you make is an interesting relic of a gameplay mechanic that we don't really see too much of anymore in modern platformers, and it works fairly well here, even if it comes across as "early installment weirdness." The game itself is a simple and enjoyable little time waster, but of course, not exactly something I would spend more than twenty minutes at a time on. **

Wrecking Crew (1985, Wii VC) Really not into this one. It's an interesting and weird relic from Mario's history, and all, but I don't even really understand it, to be honest. All you do is break walls, then break more walls, and then break even more walls. It gets pretty fucking boring, and even if I try to immerse myself within the decade in which this was released, I'm hard-pressed to find anything very entertaining about it. That said, it DOES have a motherfucking level editor, a couple years after Lode Runner and Excitebike first did it, which is actually kind of amazing. If only the game was fun enough to justify tinkering around with that. *

Super Mario Bros. (1985, NES) There's really nothing much I can say. Basically, if you consider yourself a fan of video games, or if you consider it a passion of yours, you MUST play this game at least once. This game is the reason your favorite game exists, no matter what it is. I think that should mean something to you. ***

Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels (1985, Wii VC) The reason this game wasn't initially released outside of Japan is because they thought we'd be turned off by the intense difficulty, on top of the fact that the graphics haven't changed at all. The game is certainly much more challenging than the first, and almost deliberately so—I think Nintendo was aware that there were some hardcore players out there trying to beat SMB in all sorts of crazy ways, so they wanted to see what they'd be able to pull off in a more challenging game. Perhaps as a result of this, I personally don't find it nearly as fun, though I suppose it was worth trying out if you wanted something a little different. Not that anyone in America had the option back then, but still. **

Super Mario Bros. 2 (1988, NES) Though technically just a Doki Doki Panic reskin, it's fortunate that the two franchises were similar enough in tone that this weird marriage was able to take place. The coolest thing about the game is the ability to choose between four characters—Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Toadstool, complete with their own unique stats and abilities—and it inadvertently introduced some of Mario's most iconic enemies: Shy Guys, Bob-ombs, and Pokeys. The game itself is kinda fucking wonky, and even as a kid, I could kinda tell that something was a little "off" about it. When I eventually discovered the truth about the game, I was like, "Yeah, that makes sense." I could never quite beat it—whether it's because I sucked, or the game is just genuinely difficult, I'm not too sure. In any case, I don't really have a strong desire to revisit this one any time soon. It never really left a strong impression on me. **

Super Mario Bros. 3 (1988, NES) One of the best games that the NES has to offer. It may not be my personal favorite Mario game, but it's definitely up there for me—and for many people, this is the definitive Mario title. Amazing level design, excellent music, eight beautiful worlds, and strong, addicting, and overall rock-solid gameplay. Not to mention, it's at this point in the series where the franchise's signature charm and personality really starts to shine through. There's so many little touches here and there that make it obvious that the game was made with love, and it's just an absolute joy to pick up and play, even after all this time. ***

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I'll go back to rating games out of 10 now. I think the year 1990 is a good cutoff for that.

---

Super Mario World (1990, SNES) My third favorite video game of all time. It practically embodies my childhood. Basically, take all the praise I just gave out to SMB3 and amp it up to 11 or 12. It's fucking incredible, and perhaps nearly perfect. Very few other platformers have come close. I have to play it at least once a year. 10/10

Mario Paint (1992, SNES) Probably the coolest and most memorable art-making games I've ever played. The game requires this very odd mouse-like peripheral in order to play it, and the one we ordered online wasn't functioning properly, so I was never able to play this game to its fullest extent. It has The feature that everybody remembers is the music composer, though, and that's the one I tried to play the most. You've probably seen lots of Mario Paint Composer clips on YouTube, which is an emulated and modified version of this module, but let me tell you—it's not nearly as charming without seeing Mario hop on each and every note as the song plays. I wish music composing software made the entire process as simple and as easy as this game, where you're physically placing notes exactly where you want them to be, instead of fidgeting around with weird knobs and shit. 8/10

Donkey Kong Country (1994, SNES) Yeah, yeah, I know—this isn't a Mario game, but I've always considered the Donkey Kong franchise (as well as the Yoshi and Wario franchises) to be part of the overall Mario canon, so fuck it, I'm just gonna include it here. The game's 3D-rendered graphics, while revolutionary at the time, may look a little bit goofy and dated nowadays, but I still think it's one of the better looking games on the SNES. What has really aged is the gameplay and level design, which is not exactly the best. Everything feels so random and haphazard, and some levels honestly feel like they were designed by a three-year-old. It still has a ton of personality, though, and David Wise really made a name for himself with the music for this game. It's one of the best soundtracks ever. 7/10 (or 8/10, it's hard to decide)

Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island (1995, SNES) Currently, this is my first contender for becoming my fourth 10/10 game. I don't think it's 10/10 just yet, but I'm planning on replaying it very soon, and when I do, I'll be able to determine if it truly deserves that rating. As it stands, this is another one of the best video games ever made. Again, it's kind of weird to consider it a Mario game, since most people consider it a Yoshi game—but we'll disregard that for the time being. The gameplay is out of this world. The level design is stellar, and not only is there a billion of them, they're ALL extremely unique and beautifully, meticulously crafted. Visually, I think this is definitely the most gorgeous game on the SNES, with Super Metroid running a close second. Even the premise is ingenious—they could've made it yet another damsel in distress story, but instead, they got a little creative and said, "Let's make Mario an innocent baby, and let's make it so Yoshi has to help him reunite with his lost brother from whom he was separated!" I don't know, something about that really resonates with me. It's brilliant. I might even like it more than Super Mario World, but I'll have to play it again and see. You should play it yourself, too, if you just want to play a god-tier platformer. 9/10

Super Mario 64 (1996, N64) This is where I start to diverge from popular opinion—I do not like this game, at all. For many people, this is their favorite game, but for me, this is probably one of my least favorite Mario games. After World and Yoshi's Island, both of which rocked my socks, this honestly felt like the biggest step down of all time. And while I'm not one to care about a game's graphics, I do care a lot about visuals. There's a difference. A game can have "bad graphics" from a technical standpoint and still look gorgeous. Just look at Mario 3, which STILL looks great. Mario 64, on the other hand, is ugly as sin. I'm well-aware that 3D technology was super new at the time, because I was alive during a time when there wasn't much anything better. But even when I was six years old, I thought this game looked like shit. It literally makes my eyeballs sore just from looking at it. But don't worry, that's definitely not the only thing I dislike about it—the gameplay itself took a pretty huge nosedive, too. We've gone from simply platforming linearly from level to level to a mind-numbingly boring collectathon where you perform a series of menial (and increasingly tedious) tasks to collect a certain number of Power Stars in order to visit other worlds—Worlds that become difficult to navigate because of the game's janky controls and abysmal camera, which may be one of the worst cameras in gaming history. It's not all bad, though—Mario himself controls quite fluidly, and mastering all of his acrobatic movement options is quite fun and satisfying. The music is great, and the Mario charm is still very much there—even if it feels slightly diluted by the terrible, ugly, soullessly textured worlds. It also happens to be one of the coolest games to watch speedruns of. It's kinda funny how the best way to play this game is to figure out how to play the absolute least of it. All that being said, most of my issues with the game have been solved with the DS port, which adds more playable characters, fun minigames, and polishes the game to a much higher standard—but even then, it's still not what I'd call a great game, because I fundamentally dislike collecting Power Stars in a big poorly-designed world. 4/10

Mario Kart 64 (1996, N64) In general, I hate Mario Kart. This is probably my least favorite one, if only because all the other games in the series are just better in every way. It's been completely obsolesced by every single future installment, so there's pretty much no reason to play this game other than for nostalgia, or if you just really like the tracks for some reason (even though most of the better ones are featured in all the later games, too). 5/10

Super Smash Bros. (1999, N64) This game is fun. Pure, unadulterated fun. The premise is every Nintendo-loving kid's wet dream. It was made on an extremely low budget, which explains the terrible music, models, and overall
lack of polish—but even with those flaws, it still manages to be an incredibly solid and extremely important game. I'm glad I played Melee first, though. 7/10

Wario Land 3 (2000, GBC) Play this game. It's one of the most underrated platforming gems ever made. It's absurdly creative and well-crafted. If you don't know what you're doing, it's actually rather punishing—but if you're patient, and you can appreciate the game's deranged sense of humor, you won't be able to put it down. Top 10 Game Boy Color games, easily. That's all I'm going to say. 9/10

Super Smash Bros. Melee (2001, NGC) I cannot express to you in one short paragraph just how important this game is to me, so I won't try. Instead, I'll just reiterate that this is in my top 5. When you consider its sheer entertainment value—its capacity to be the ultimate game NOT ONLY for parties and casual play, but also high-octane competitive tournament play—how could it not be one of the greatest games of all time? Poor character balance is the only thing preventing this game from being a 10/10 in my eyes. 9/10

WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgames! (2003, GBA) For how goofy and impenetrable it is, it's actually extremely addicting, but like Mario Kart 64, it's been superseded by almost every other installment in the franchise—most notably, Twisted! It's still worth playing if you haven't before, though. Just be prepared for a wild sugar rush of crazy shit. 7/10

Wario World (2003, NGC) I feel like I should replay this, since I haven't touched it several years. I remember thoroughly enjoying it back when I was a kid, but it feels like one of those games that I only would've enjoyed as a kid. I could be wrong, but I've grown to dislike beat-'em-up style games in my teen years, and I don't much care for them in my adulthood, either. I also seem to recall it having some icky collectathon elements, even if they weren't overblown. I'm open to replaying it, but the only question is when. 6/10

Mario Kart: Double Dash!! (2003, NGC) This seems to be everyone's favorite Mario Kart. As someone who's not a fan of this series in general, I think it's okay. There's some really cool tracks on it, and the double/signature item gimmicks are pretty cool and interesting. The game still suffers from feeling obsolete, because every Mario Kart game tends to invalidate everything that came before it. I also wish I could pair up the characters myself, but that's just me. 6/10

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (2004, NGC) The only Mario RPG you ever really need to try. It's probably the most text-heavy game in the entire franchise, and there are certain elements of the game that feel distinctly Japanese and un-Mario-like (owing to the fact that the same people who made Fire Emblem made this), but I wouldn't let either of those two things distract you from the amazing gameplay, wonderful characters, compelling story (for Mario, at least), and great sense of humor. This is a top 10 GameCube game, if not top 5. 9/10

WarioWare: Twisted! (2004, GBA) The best WarioWare game, in my opinion. The gyroscope gimmick is really cute, and they do a lot of insanely creative stuff with it. It's also unexpectedly jam-packed with content and shit to unlock, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I probably put at least a hundred hours into it when I still played it. 8/10

New Super Mario Bros. (2006, DS) Generic. Bland. Soulless. Boring. These are the only words that come to mind when I attempt to describe what is one of the more disappointing 2D platformers in the series, and the beginning of a downward spiral where my interest in the franchise seems to almost dwindle into nothingness. 5/10

WarioWare: Smooth Moves (2006, Wii) If you play this, I would suggest playing it alone. Some of the movements the game asks you to do will make you look like a complete jackass, unless you're absolutely shameless. If you hate motion controls, stay away. It's the most wagglin' Wii game on the system, and it's PROUD of it. 7/10

Mario Party 8 (2007, Wii) Actually, I changed my mind—THIS is the most wagglin' Wii game of all time. It's definitely a tossup between the two, at least. This also happens to be the Mario Party game I've played the most, and it might be my personal favorite—if only because it's the one that lets you play as a Blooper. If you love motion controls, it has the best minigames. If you hate motion controls, it has the worst minigames. Take it or leave it. 7/10

Mario Party DS (2007, DS) I've never been able to play this in a group, but if I ever get an opportunity to, I can see this one becoming my favorite. 7/10

Super Smash Bros. Brawl (2008, DS) I've really come to hate this game over the years for reasons that are far too plentiful to list here. Basically, take everything that made Melee so fucking good and just suck it ALL away. Sakurai can shove Subspace Emissary up his casual-pandering ass for this. 4/10

Mario Kart Wii (2008, Wii) This game is the reason why I'm an atheist. 5/10

New Super Mario Bros. Wii (2009, Wii) More vapid, soulless trash. What I thought was the nail in the coffin for my love of this series. 5/10

Mario Kart 8 (2014, Switch) I played the Deluxe version for the Switch, and it's the first Mario Kart game that not only didn't make me want to kill myself, but the first and only one where I actually cared to achieve 100% completion on it. I'm not sure what it is, but it was a fun time. It's easily the most polished game in the series on top of having the best selection of tracks and characters (which, in Deluxe, have all been unlocked from the start except for one). I honestly wouldn't have liked the game nearly as much if I played it when it first came out on the Wii U. 8/10

Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and Nintendo 3DS (2014, Wii U/3DS) Beats Brawl, but still too casual. As such, I prefer it on 3DS. Smash Run is super addicting. Fuck Bayonetta and anyone who voted for her. 8/10

Super Mario Odyssey (2017, Switch) I can't give my full opinion yet, but I'm thoroughly enjoying myself so far. ?/10

Games I've played, but not a substantial amount of:

Donkey Kong Jr. (1982, various platforms)
Super Mario Land (1989, GB)
Dr. Mario (1990, NES)
Yoshi (1991, NES)
Super Mario Kart (1992, SNES)
Yoshi's Cookie (1992, NES)
Wario's Woods (1994, SNES)
Mario's Tennis (1995, VB)
Mario Clash (1995, VB)
Virtual Boy Wario Land (1995, VB)
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest (1995, SNES)
Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (1996, SNES)
Game & Watch Gallery (1997, GB)
Game & Watch Gallery 2 (1997, GB)
Mario Party (1998, N64)
Game & Watch Gallery 3 (1999, GBC)
Paper Mario (2000, N64)
Mario Tennis (2000, N64)
Mario Party 3 (2000, N64)
Super Mario Sunshine (2002, NGC)
Mario Party 4 (2002, NGC)
Game & Watch Gallery 4 (2002, GBA)
Mario Party 5 (2003, NGC)
Mario Party 6 (2004, NGC)
Mario Party 7 (2005, NGC
Mario Kart DS (2005, DS)
Super Paper Mario (2007, Wii)
Super Mario Galaxy (2007, Wii)
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games (2007, Wii)
Mario Super Sluggers (2008, Wii)
Donkey Kong Country Returns (2010, Wii)

Games I've never played:

Quote from: challengerX on November 13, 2017, 12:58:09 PM

Quote from: Me on November 13, 2017, 12:04:32 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on November 10, 2017, 03:56:17 PM

it's aight

Kinda disillusioned with Nolan a bit. I used to think he was a fucking god when I was fifteen, but as right now, the Dark Knight is the only thing he's made that I still love.

Dunkirk is fantastic. Nolan's use of time in film is precisely why I'm still excited for the eventual Foundation miniseries.

Nolan is directing a Foundation miniseries?

He said he was (him and his brother) a couple of years ago. The wait makes it feel like it got quietly canned, but I'm holding out hope.

and then denis villeneuve has that dune movie in the works, apparently

what a time to be alive for you nerds

Quote from: Verbatim on November 10, 2017, 03:56:17 PM

it's aight

Kinda disillusioned with Nolan a bit. I used to think he was a fucking god when I was fifteen, but as right now, the Dark Knight is the only thing he's made that I still love.

Dunkirk is fantastic. Nolan's use of time in film is precisely why I'm still excited for the eventual Foundation miniseries.

hmm, still need to see it

also i keep thinking you're loaf with that avatar

Quote from: Verbatim on November 11, 2017, 04:03:33 PM

Quote from: challengerX on November 11, 2017, 04:01:39 PM

How do you pronounce the name?

ecks ecks ecks tentación or triple-x tentación

or just X, but i don't like that because that's DMX

Is he Dominican or something? Tentacion like how you say it in Spanish? Kinda weird but alright

jamaican

i can't wait until this "veganism is expensive" meme dies

Quote from: Verbatim on November 11, 2017, 12:11:01 PM

Quote from: Flee on November 11, 2017, 12:04:33 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on November 11, 2017, 11:47:30 AM

Quote from: Flee on November 11, 2017, 11:06:15 AM

Quote from: TBlocks on November 11, 2017, 11:01:02 AM

Quote from: Verbatim on November 11, 2017, 10:27:51 AM

Quote from: Flee on November 11, 2017, 04:33:15 AM

Quote from: Verbatim on November 10, 2017, 07:09:38 PM

Quote from: Flee on November 03, 2017, 09:37:25 PM

Quote from: Snake on November 03, 2017, 09:22:09 PM

Quote from: Flee on November 03, 2017, 09:20:43 PM

Does that include sex or what?

It's up to you, but I think having sex is sort of going against the spirit of the idea.

Eh, if sex is included I already failed anyways. Seems kind of pointless too.

i'm sitting here cracking up at the idea that it is pointless to avoid doing pointless things

But there's notable health and relational benefits to it, hardly making it pointless anymore. It also seems inconsistent with your whole philosophy to be so against suffering but then reject pleasure.

benefits that can surely be achieved elsewhere and in higher quantities

masturbation = 10-30 minutes of time wasted for 3-5 seconds of pleasure; that doesn't seem very efficient

and i don't need to talk about the risks associated with intercourse

I know the risks about intercourse but realistically speaking relationships generally require some level of sexual activity to survive. It's pretty essential.

The risks are also pretty minimal in many relationships. Don't have STDs and use some form of protection, and the risks are almost completely gone.

the safest sex possible is 98.8% successful (over the course of a year of sex)

if every time you had sex, there was a 1 in 100 chance for your head to explode (or something equally horrific), would you still do it

That's not how that statistic works. "For example, when used correctly the male condom is 98% effective, but that's not to say there is a 2% chance of becoming pregnant every time you use one. A 2% failure rate actually means that for every 100 woman using the contraceptive method for an entire year, two will experience an unintended pregnancy."

this was specifically noted in the post

not entirely sure how you missed that when it's two lines long

Because you then went on to say "if every time you had sex, there was a 1 in 100 chance for your head to explode (or something equally horrific), would you still do it", which is a wrong interpretation of that statistic. And as I pointed out in that other comment, that'd be more like 1 in 10,000 depending on how often these people had sex.

given that it was the second line, you should've taken that as a mistake rather than a misinterpretation—i don't think most people would've been confused by that

the point is, 1 in 10K = unacceptably high odds

Quote from: Verbatim on November 11, 2017, 11:47:30 AM

Quote from: Flee on November 11, 2017, 11:06:15 AM

Quote from: TBlocks on November 11, 2017, 11:01:02 AM

Quote from: Verbatim on November 11, 2017, 10:27:51 AM

Quote from: Flee on November 11, 2017, 04:33:15 AM

Quote from: Verbatim on November 10, 2017, 07:09:38 PM

Quote from: Flee on November 03, 2017, 09:37:25 PM

Quote from: Snake on November 03, 2017, 09:22:09 PM

Quote from: Flee on November 03, 2017, 09:20:43 PM

Does that include sex or what?

It's up to you, but I think having sex is sort of going against the spirit of the idea.

Eh, if sex is included I already failed anyways. Seems kind of pointless too.

i'm sitting here cracking up at the idea that it is pointless to avoid doing pointless things

But there's notable health and relational benefits to it, hardly making it pointless anymore. It also seems inconsistent with your whole philosophy to be so against suffering but then reject pleasure.

benefits that can surely be achieved elsewhere and in higher quantities

masturbation = 10-30 minutes of time wasted for 3-5 seconds of pleasure; that doesn't seem very efficient

and i don't need to talk about the risks associated with intercourse

I know the risks about intercourse but realistically speaking relationships generally require some level of sexual activity to survive. It's pretty essential.

The risks are also pretty minimal in many relationships. Don't have STDs and use some form of protection, and the risks are almost completely gone.

the safest sex possible is 98.8% successful (over the course of a year of sex)

if every time you had sex, there was a 1 in 100 chance for your head to explode (or something equally horrific), would you still do it

That's not how that statistic works. "For example, when used correctly the male condom is 98% effective, but that's not to say there is a 2% chance of becoming pregnant every time you use one. A 2% failure rate actually means that for every 100 woman using the contraceptive method for an entire year, two will experience an unintended pregnancy."

this was specifically noted in the post

not entirely sure how you missed that when it's two lines long

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...where he is a pioneer of "SoundCloud rap", which is a microgenre that was inspired by trap and lo-fi music.

Oh... oh. That sounds disgusting.

you put a gun on my mans

i put a hole in your parents

Gee

If only you can get all these benefits from some activity that only takes 1O minutes a day

several of the activities i described take even less time

and either way, risk of pregnancy should scare the shit out of you to a point where it nullifies the time spent achieving the pleasure

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You like sex, that's okay. But its benefits are minimal and can be achieved elsewhere via more intellectual pursuits, and none of those more intellectual pursuits have risk of pregnancy, which is the worst thing that could possibly happen ever.

to be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to be celibate

You are welcome to substantiate the same benefits you'll get elsewhere with the same amount of effort. I'm particularly interested in things like improving your immune system, lowering the chance of prostate cancer, ridding yourself of disease-causing toxins building up in your urinary tract, reducing the risk of erectile dysfunction, improving the quality of sperm, relieving tension, helping people sleep and so on. I very much doubt that you'll be able to find something as easy, fun and quick that does all of those things at once.

first of all, no you're not

secondly:

- Re: Immune system improval—Fruit is fucking delicious, and eating lots of it (while cutting out less healthy foods from your system, like meat) can help improve your immune system. Quick, easy, fun. Exercise helps too, but that's an acquired taste in terms of how much fun you have doing it.

- Re: Prostate cancer prevention—Once again, plant-based diets can help reduce your odds of prostate cancer, because fats absorbed from plants are much healthier than the fats you absorb from animals. Giving up meat may not be quick, easy, and fun for you, but it has the added benefit of being ethical, which obviously beats out everything else.

- Re: Prevention of bacteria build-up—Literally just urinate. Drink lots of water. Bathe. Wear loose clothing. I really don't think there's such a colossal risk of this sort of thing happening, assuming you have decent hygiene.

- Re: Improving sperm quality—This is not a benefit, lmao

- Re: Relieving tension—This is by far the easiest. There's so many things you can do. You already play video games. You already consume lots of media entertainment. Maybe not so much anymore, since you're a busy guy, but still. That should give you some ideas. Get more rest.

- Re: Helping sleep—Okay, you know what? If you were to masturbate exclusively to help you sleep, I actually wouldn't begrudge you that. Sleep is a tough one if you're not getting enough of it (or can't), and I think spending 20-30 minutes is a fair trade for getting your 8 hours of rest.

But that's it. That is the only worthwhile benefit that can't easily be replicated elsewhere.

You like sex, that's okay. But its benefits are minimal and can be achieved elsewhere via more intellectual pursuits, and none of those more intellectual pursuits have risk of pregnancy, which is the worst thing that could possibly happen ever.

And if all you get out of 30 minutes of sex or masturbation is 3-5 seconds of pleasure then you're doing something wrong.

masturbation is 20-30 minutes of sheer boredom for one brief spike of intense pleasure

the only reason i would encourage celibacy is pregnancy, as no amount of pleasure can justify it

The argument also seems to apply to just about everything. If you make the argument that video games aren't pointless because you get something out of it, then I'm sure there's things that'll achieve the same benefits.

it's all about cost efficiency

if there are things more efficient in terms of entertaining myself than playing video games, watching movies, reading, writing, or even listening to music, i'm all ears

from my position, all of those things are a better use of time than masturbation