I'm not saying it's something to be laughed at if you can't, but to pretend like it's unfathomable how it could possibly save your life in very realistic situations is hilarious.

Plus you missed out: some of the most fun I had as a kid was in my old pool.  It never got old for me.

when did i say it couldn't save your life

never

my life doesn't need to be saved, because i'm NEVER IN FUCKING WATER
and even then, i already fucking said that i can swim now

we shouldn't be swayed by emotional appeals, no

unless appealing to emotions is actually logical
in this case, it is not

it's an easy argument for ME to make, in particular, because i believe bringing life into existence is wrong
so, in my opinion, abortion should be mandatory

um it takes like 5 seconds to learn how to swim

unless you were deathly scared of drowning, which i was

never in my life have i ever needed to swim

and i never will

if the sight of murder is what gets you to believe that murder is wrong, then you're wrong
well, you'd be right in believing that murder is wrong, but you believe it for the wrong reasons

it shouldn't have come from an emotional "ew, that's gross/horrifying" place in your heart
it should come from logic and reason alone

this is just a crap argument

that's not the pusillanimous part
i would probably be affected, too

it's the fact that he allowed it to change his stance, as if anything about what he witnessed contradicted any of the arguments he used to support when he was pro-choice

i didn't

i quoted LC and tried to trim it down but i fucked it up
it happens

for example

did you expect me to make this thread in the first place?

if you didn't, then that makes it ironic by default of your given standard

and since no one is psychic

everything outside of a routine (95% of all things that happen) are ironic
according to you

Here's the thing the defining characteristic between irony and sarcasm is one is deliberate while the other is unintentional. Which is why for your comment to be ironic you would have had to have been sarcastically mocking the notion of post count mattering while you honestly believed that post count mattered.

You intentionally mocking the notion of people giving a shit about post count is entirely expected since it's fairly well known that you don't care. Therefore you are not acting counter to expectations since the expectation is that you would mock the people who think it matters.

or, you could look at it from a different angle

this notion of irony being contingent on "expectation" is an arbitrary load of shit, and that's where all the confusion comes from when defining the term

not everything unexpected is ironic--that's just stupid
and it's a poor litmus test for irony in general

you're basically saying that if i receive mail on a sunday, that's ironic
if someone turns on the lights during the day time, that's ironic

no, irony is when a fireman burns his house down

this post falls under that type of irony, and if you can't see it, you're blind

i can swim now, sort of

not counter to expectations

who in the fuck is to say that

you? the illiterate drunk?

i don't think so

who gives a fuck

why does that mean he shouldn't have a first name

calm down deci

go fuck yourself deci

There's nothing ironic about Elegiac having the most posts and there's nothing ironic about me making a jab towards people who care about post count.

i never said there was, and i never said there was

do you know how to read

I think you're trying to say you were being sarcastic with your "this matters", but sarcasm isn't instant irony. There would have to be something ironic about you sarcastically saying that "this matters" for it to be ironic.

you realize sarcasm is a form of irony, you patronizing cunt

i used the term irony because that's exactly what i fucking meant

not sarcasm
irony

because i am ironically posting about how post count matters, even though it doesn't
that's called being ironic, kid