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Messages - Verbatim
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38641
« on: May 19, 2015, 10:22:35 PM »
Spoiler Slaughterhouse-five[1] is widely regarded as one of the most compelling anti war[2] novels in American literature. Presented in an unorthodox style[3], Vonnegut displays the illusion of free will and the futile quest to alter human nature to present the illogical reasoning behind war and humanity itself through the character Billy Pilgrim and the events in his life[4].
When browsing through Slaughterhouse-five[5], one of the first things the reader may notice is Vonnegut’s lax use of the concept of time. Instead of creating a linear path for the story's main character to travel through, the author fabricates jumps[6] through Billie’s[7] life from time[8] of his birth[9] to[10] his demise[11] and everything in between. Although never stated whether these jumps in time are simply illusions suffered from an injury sustained by Billy in the war or actual occurrences[12], the flexibility and seamless nullification of past, present, and future decrease the importance it holds when telling the story compared to most pieces of literature. This concept of time being irrelevant is perfectly described in chapter four[13] when Billy watches time move forward and backwards in a world war two[14] film. He describes the bombs being dropped traveling back up into the planes, the bullets are entering the muzzle of a gun and all the weapons used in war being taken back to the assembly line for disassembly into their base minerals which are then hid underground so no one can use them to hurt each other, while humanity strives to create two perfect people named Adam and Eve[15]. This obscure and paralleling look of events in time aids itself in Vonnegut’s message of fate and hopeless effort to change the course of action in one’s life to reduce conflict by showing time in a different perspective, detailing a war turning into an effort of peace while still displaying the same events. This same concept of a futile stance against fate and human nature can be observed in the behavior of Paul Lazzaro, who promises to kill Billy Pilgrim for causing the death of Roland Weary. The irony[16] of this circumstance is that Billy miraculously survives many near death[17] experiences through[18] the course of his life. The plane crash, the prisoner of war camp[19], and even the bombing of Dresden all seem to overshadow his actual demise of being assassinated by Paul’s hand. Due to the nature of time in the story Billy knows exactly when and where he will meet his end and so he can analyze how pointless his death was, dictated by a man whose actions were dictated by feelings of vengeance and pride both of which cannot justify needless killing under Billy’s perspective of the world[20]. Billy’s death, when scaled to the size of a global conflict truly shows how pointless war is and how it can never be stopped due to human nature itself, as war is in many cases a product of human emotion.
Vonnegut’s use of the Tralfamadorian aliens is yet another tool used by Billy to understand the foolish outlook people have on life and the effects of this perspective. Through the teachings of the Tralfamadorians, Billy realizes that there is no possible way to change the course of history, including the tragedies and joy that are sure to come in the future. Events such as war are just as inescapable as they are unnecessary and with Billy’s newfound outlook of his life under a Tralfamadorian lens, he realizes that since violent and peaceful actions can’t be stopped, the tranquil moments should receive the most attention when recalling history. Whether or not the Tralfamadorians are just a figment of Billy’s imagination is up to the reader to decide, as Vonnegut plays between the notion of dreams and reality, sometimes mixing the two together in an effort to better understand Billy’s viewpoint of the world. Vonnegut utilizes this limelight between fantasy and reality to further his argument against free will and human nature by mixing the Tralfamadorian “teachings” with real world examples or hints of their view of the world. One such example of a Tralfamadorian message is perfectly displayed on a serenity prayer plaque in Billy’s optometry office that reads “god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.” this prayer, although seemingly hopeful and optimistic, in reality highlights the notion that neither god nor man can change the course of history and because of this, free will is simply an illusion.
Vonnegut[21] argument against war and the fruitless efforts in stopping it is masterfully masked within fantasy and reality in Slaughterhouse-five as we explore the life and death of Billy Pilgrim over and over again. The author successfully conjures the point that we can only see how foolish our actions as human beings are if viewed through an alien perspective. By doing away with staple factors of life such as time, Vonnegut encourages the reader to question Billy’s sanity, as his unique outlook on the world may be a result of war itself
Corrections I won't go too hard, considering this is your eighth-grade self.
[1] I'll assume this was actually italicized in your Word document. "Five" should be capitalized, though.
[2] "Anti-war" is hyphenated, as are most terms with "anti-" at the beginning.
[3] I would add "for its time" here.
[4] I would've just ended it at "Billy Pilgrim." I also would've identified him as the protagonist.
[5] "Browsing" is a strange word choice. Makes it sound like you're reading the pages out of sequential order.
[6] "Fabricates jumps"? I know that you're using "jumps" as a noun there, but at first glance, it looks like you're committing a double verb. If you cut out "fabricates", it would sound less awkward.
[7] Misspelled "Billy" there.
[8] "From the time of his birth".
[9] Comma.
[10] Take out "to".
[11] Comma. Now, it says "the author jumps through Billy's life from the time of his birth, his demise, and everything in between."
[12] It would be better if you flipped these two items around, I think.
[13] Personally, I prefer saying "the fourth chapter".
[14] WWII should be spelled like "World War II".
[15] Kind of a long, awkward sentence.
[16] Your instructor told you to "find at least one example of irony", didn't s/he?
[17] "Near-death" is hyphenated.
[18] "Throughout".
[19] "Prisoner-of-war camp".
[20] Another run-on.
[21] "Vonnegut's". For an essay written in the 8th grade, this wasn't half-bad. There were only four paragraphs, two or three of which were very large, making it a little bit of a slog to read through, but you supported your synopsis with extensive examples from the text, and your analysis of Vonnegut's writing style was reasonably cogent. Structurally, your biggest issue involved your sentences being a little too loquacious, but nonetheless, I can tell that a somewhat honest effort was made here to convey all your points and make the grade. B+
38642
« on: May 19, 2015, 09:23:50 PM »
Have you rəad[1] Slaughterhouse 5[2]? [1] Random schwa. [2] You gotta italicize that shit. I have not read it, but funnily enough, I have a copy sitting adjacent to me.
38643
« on: May 19, 2015, 09:21:38 PM »
The comma's not necessary, and it disrupts the flow of the sentence.[1] Your spelling is fine, but you can't deny that formatting and punctuation are important for grammar. It's not a big deal,[2] I was just wondering why you stopped. I agree it sounds more formal to use proper punctuation (though I don't see a problem with formality), but your posts tend to feel bland and lifeless because of their[3] absence, at least to me. Seeing you use punctuation and capitalization in this thread immediately makes your posts feel more personal, enthusiastic, and conversational, like you're actually interested in what's being discussed.[4]
Have you ever read the book Eats, Shoots, and Leaves? I think you'd enjoy it. [1] Eh, I disagree. If anything, I think it flows better with the comma, because the second part of the sentence is making this big, bold declaration. So the short pause adds a bit more flair to it, in my opinion. That may not be what you intend, of course, but most of these corrections are based both on my knowledge of standard English, as well as my own personal style, so I can respect that you stand your ground on that one. [2] Comma splice. [3] "Because of its absence". I haven't read that book, but judging by its description, yeah, I might have to pick it up sometime.
38644
« on: May 19, 2015, 08:58:18 PM »
With Quick-Reply[1] you can write a post when viewing a topic without loading a new page. You can still use bulletin board code and smileys as you would in a normal post.
[1] Comma.
38645
« on: May 19, 2015, 08:56:31 PM »
Hur många kukar har du i din röv? I don't know how Swedish grammar works. It just makes you look gay[1] LOL [1] Punctuation.
38646
« on: May 19, 2015, 08:54:59 PM »
h,i,the,tee I'm not sure if you just hit random keys, or if there's actually some kind of hidden message in here somewhere.
38647
« on: May 19, 2015, 08:51:54 PM »
This is pretty ironic[1] considering you use some of the worst grammar of all the users here. [1] Comma. if by "worst grammar", you mean i sometimes type like this, then you obviously don't know what bad grammar is it's not just capitalization and punctuation--it's also subject/verb agreement, sentence structure, irregularities, and various other technicalities looking past capitalization and punctuation, yeah, i actually have some of the best grammar on the forum You used to be a stickler for it; why'd you give it up? ignoring for the moment that i haven't, and that i've explained this a number of times already, but the reason i type like this sometimes is because i think it makes my posts sound more relaxed and informal
38648
« on: May 19, 2015, 08:27:59 PM »
Hello, Verbatim.
Playin' it safe, I see.
38649
« on: May 19, 2015, 08:22:11 PM »
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo[1] [1] Punctuation.
38650
« on: May 19, 2015, 07:32:37 PM »
May I receive life advice with my grammar lesson?
Should I try to bang this really cute E-4 who works with the battalion S1 during AT next month? It's not fraternization since we're both lower enlisted[1][2] and neither of us are in a position where one may end up in charge of the other.
[1] I'd put a comma there. [2] Um... I'm not hip with military jargon, but I would assume "lower-enlisted" is hyphenated. I don't know, man. If you think this person is into you, I say go for it, but don't let him/her distract you too much.
38651
« on: May 19, 2015, 07:18:11 PM »
I was forced to come here against my will,[1] please help me.
[1] Comma splice. I find it amusing how so few people seem to know how to use commas.
38652
« on: May 19, 2015, 07:11:59 PM »
First off, acronyms aren't grammatically incorrect. And secondly, I'm actually kind of curious as to how my ellipsis was wrong there. Enlighten me?[1]
[1] This is an imperative statement, and thus does not need a question mark. They are when you type them like you did ("Lol"), as though it were a regular word. Ask any English professor if it's okay to say "lol" in any essay ever. It ain't gonna fly. Ellipses are weird. Technically, they're not for emphatic pauses, as they are so often used for on the Internet. They're for stuff like. . . uh. . . you know. . . . Like that. It's when something (like radio static, or a mental block) is breaking up your thought, causing you to trail off. They're not for your dramatic pauses or whatever (not that I don't use them for that). Structurally, there's supposed to be spaces in between each dot, and a fourth dot should be added if it's the end of the sentence. Really, this rule only applies to novels, where you actually have dialogue between characters and shit, so it's not like it's a terrible error or anything. In terms of common Internet usage, the only thing you did wrong, I guess, was not put a space after it (like you're supposed to with all punctuation). So, instead of "Lol...I'm surprised", it should've been "Lol... I'm surprised".
38653
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:51:50 PM »
This is fucking easy,[1] are you trying to make this into a challenge? [1] Comma splice. it's[1] not supposed to be regular laughter, which is spontaneous and begins with "hah"[2]
it's[1] more like that prideful, planned kind of laughter, y'know[2]
[1] Capitalization. [2] Punctuation. That is a fair point.
38654
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:50:07 PM »
nUTTING[1][2] iz[3] rong[4] wif[5] mai[6] GRAMER[7][8][9] u[10] NAYZI[11][12]
[1] "NUTTING" should be spelled "nothing". [2] The upper/lowercase of this word should be inverted. [3] "Iz" should be spelled "is". [4] "Rong" should be spelled "wrong". [5] "Wif" should be spelled "with". [6] "Mai" should be spelled "my". [7] "GRAMER" should be spelled "grammar". [8] Do not randomly type in all caps. [9] Comma after "GRAMER". [10] "U" should be spelled "you". [11] "NAYZI" should be spelled "Nazi". [12] Given the tone of this sentence, perhaps an exclamation mark would be an appropriate punctuation. You're not wrong, by the way. Your grammar here isn't bad. It's the spelling that's fucked.
38655
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:44:13 PM »
no[1][2] [1] Capitalization. [2] Punctuation. It's in the dictionary, though.
Perhaps, but I do not consider dictionaries to be the gospel. They're simply a reflection of our collective cultural vernacular. If someone wanted to be grammatically correct, "lol" would always have to be typed like "L.O.L."
38656
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:41:18 PM »
No[1] dad,[2] I hate being perfect. [1] Comma after "no". [2] Comma splice. Replace this comma with a period.
38657
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:40:08 PM »
ahahaha[1][2][3] i[4] am defying the purpose of your thread by using improper capitalization and punctuation conventions[5]
[1] Capitalize "ahahaha". [2] If you're going to type laughter, it's generally better to begin it with "ha" instead of "ah". [3] Comma after "ahahaha". [4] "I" is always capitalized. [5] Punctuation required.
38658
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:37:18 PM »
Lol[1]...[2]I'm surprised Verb liked this, considering it's a sentence fragment. [1] "Lol" is not a word. [2] Botched ellipsis. In my opinion, the only fragments that are worth pointing out are isolated predicates. Isolated subjects are fine.
38659
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:34:15 PM »
Only trolls who live under bridges enjoy to scare[1] little boys and girls whom[2] frolic in the nearby meadow[3]. [1] Instead of "enjoy to scare", it should read, "enjoy scaring". [2] Incorrect use of "whom".
38660
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:22:40 PM »
Coming from the genocidal vegan. And no, I don't have sympathy for anybody. I just don't care. hahahaha Le ebin meme :^)
38661
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:17:59 PM »
I can haz[1] [2] cheezburger[3][4] [1] "Haz" should be spelled "have". [2] The word "a" should be here, in between "haz" and "cheezburger". [3] "Cheezburger" should be spelled "cheeseburger". [4] Always punctuate your sentences.
38662
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:10:54 PM »
I don't give a fuck. I have no sympathy for you or anybody. Is your intellectual intelligence far superior to ours?
38663
« on: May 19, 2015, 06:05:43 PM »
gibe[1][2] de[3] pusi[4][5] b0ss[6][7] [1] "Gibe" should be spelled "give me". [2] "Gibe" should also be capitalized. [3] "De" should be spelled "the". [4] "Pusi" should be spelled "pussy". [5] There should be a comma after "pusi". [6] "B0ss" should be spelled "boss". Never replace letters with numbers. [7] Full-stop the sentence. This post contained fewer grammatical errors than it did spelling errors.
38664
« on: May 19, 2015, 05:58:24 PM »
a[1] meme used to symbolize funposting[2][F] [F] Fragment; consider revising. [1] "A" should be capitalized. [2] Put a hyphen in between "fun" and "posting". "Funposting" is not a word.
38665
« on: May 19, 2015, 05:55:14 PM »
(☠) <-[1] What's this? [1] Do not use inequality symbols as arrows, especially if you're going to combine it with a hyphen. It's a skull and crossbones. I use it to signal that a thread isn't meant to be taken too seriously.
38666
« on: May 19, 2015, 05:49:07 PM »
I think I do, but I don't know what a preposition is. A preposition is a word that typically describes the relative location of a noun. Words like "in" and "out", "off" and "on", and "under" and "above" are prepositions. "Through" happens to be my favorite.
38667
« on: May 19, 2015, 05:42:18 PM »
please[1] give me attention[2] i[3] want attention right now[4]
thank[5] you[6]
[1] "Please" should be capitalized. [2] There should be a period after "attention". An exclamation mark may work here as well. [3] "I" is always capitalized. [4] There should be a period after "now", or an exclamation mark, if you prefer. [5] Capitalize "thank". [6] Punctuate after "you".
38668
« on: May 19, 2015, 05:30:36 PM »
Only post in this thread if you have perfect grammar.
All posts containing imperfect grammar will be contemptuously and meticulously scrutinized.
38669
« on: May 19, 2015, 05:26:17 PM »
vegans is a good reason
*are
38670
« on: May 19, 2015, 05:22:32 PM »
I don't think it is.
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