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Messages - Verbatim

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ITT: characters that remind you of Verb.

For me it's Kefka - intellegent, nihilistic, and with a wicked sense of humor.
more or less

3752
The Flood / Re: Really starting to like my position
« on: March 12, 2018, 08:10:47 PM »
There's jobs that you might find more compelling and worthwhile though. There's also some things you can't realistically do without it being a job.
Spoiler
i really wish the first statement were true, but i'm afraid it just isn't

if there really was something out there for me, do you not think i would have found it by now?

though, to be fair, what i'm basically struggling with is my mentality

even if i found the perfect job, i would still find a way to piss and bitch and moan about it, because i have such a perverted sense of self-fulfillment that being miserable almost gives me a perverse sense of satisfaction, just knowing that i was "right" all along, because i made myself right—that's just kinda the way i am, i literally feed off of my own negativity

you could say i just have a mental issue, which would be fair, but i also like to think that i have my reasons for being this way

jobs beget responsibilities, responsibilities beget mental burdens, mental burdens beget stress, stress begets misery

it's not to say that i can't handle a little bit of stress—it's the slow-burning cumulative effect of all the stressors in concatenation that makes them all the more soul-crushing, and it doesn't really matter what kind of job it is, because that's going to apply to pretty much all of them

obviously, none of this stuff is an issue for people who are pre-ordained to be responsible, itinerant, hardworking, normal people, but i'm just not one of those people—i have the potential to be a hard worker, but unless i'm actually passionate about something, i will go out of my way to put in the minimum effort, or i just won't do it at all

i also struggle with finding a sense of purpose—my philosophy on existentialism aside, it all really just seems like a fruitless struggle to me

on the offchance that i find an enjoyable place to work—that's still time that i could be spending doing shit that i actually want to do, which is sit around, sleep, consume art, make my own art, all while trying to be as little of a burden on the rest of society as possible as i live alone in the quiet, being a spectator, contributing nothing to a world i never asked to be part of in the first place

but what i think sounds reasonable is way too much to ask, so that doesn't give me a whole lot of options as far as my own happiness and personal comfort goes

i firmly believe that not everybody is cut out for work, and not everybody should have to work if they're so disinclined to do so—so the very idea that a person like me can exist in a world so incongruent with my values is a sick joke, and one that hasn't been funny in five years

i could go on but you're not my therapist, i'm just trying to get you see things from my pov for a moment
By any chance, do you feel shit for doing completely nothing for a long amount of time? Like you even wanted to make something done, like learn something useful, but you don`t have any drift for it and more time passes and you feel more and more shit for not progressing anywhere, and there is no drift.
           
           And at one moment you think "let`s play some videogames, because at least I'm progressing in it" but after launch you just feel so shit, because you play a game, while you could have something done and then after an half hour you close it and...
           
           "There is no drift for doing anything". You start to think about various things how to fix it, might be that you start to pick up some hobbies that look cool, but after doing it yourself you just don`t have a drift for it. Then next thing you start to think is "maybe I need to change my viewpoint. Well, my death is inevitable and there is no point to do anything. But even if I was immortal, even if I save my mind, my memories, myself through all those cycling, is there any point to do something?" And the answer is the same.

           Just saying.
pretty spot-on

3753
The Flood / Re: Really starting to like my position
« on: March 12, 2018, 08:09:33 PM »
Just to use myself as an example, I have enormous amounts of freedom at my job and the money I make is far from piddly. I don't work at a shithole but a modern facility tied to a university that's packed with hundreds of years of history. I don't deal with any customers at all but instead work with very motivated professionals and academics I work only on interesting projects of my own choosing and get to do something different all the time. None of the things you made out to be negative about a job are present in mine and there's no reason you couldn't land something similar.
you say that, but you haven't given me any reason to believe it

no offense, but i'm not terribly interested in your experiences in the workplace, because they're not mine—i conceded in that post that i'm just of a different disposition than most people, including you, so telling me how awesome having a job is when you've NEVER had to file 200+ applications for menial jobs you never wanted, but ones you're still pressured into getting, because you HAVE to get a job, and not having a job makes you a failure at life, etc.

only to get rejected again and again and again and again and again and again and again, and THEN, the first job you ever actually land winds up confirming each and every one of your biggest fears of being employed?

you don't have this experience—you could say it's an experience that you're sheltered from—so for you to sit there and tell me how great everything actually is, and how narrow-minded i am, when i've physically waded through the shit for years, only comes across to me as extremely glib

look—i'm really happy that you love your job, that's awesome, i envy you

you had to do a lot of work to get the job you have, though, and that's an amount of work that i would psychologically torturous and ultimately not worth it—like i said, some people just aren't cut out for work, and i think i'm one of them

some people will never be happy having any kind of job, i don't think this is a controversial statement

my two skills, and i only have two, are not marketable—we don't need more authors. we definitely don't need more artists. but that's literally all i have to offer.

i've looked into numerous other subjects, and they all just seem like varying flavors of hell to me—the "don't knock it til you try it" philosophy doesn't really work when this is my life that i'm talking about

that's kinda like when anime fans tell you to keep watching a series you KNOW you're not gonna like, "because it gets good later"—like, that's basically what you're doing here
Quote
Also, you didn't really address the second point I made. Jobs can let you do things you otherwise wouldn't be able to. They can provide you with resources, opportunities and access to things that you on your own couldn't really have.
there is only one resource that i want access to that i don't currently have now: time, and i really couldn't care less about anything else

jobs tend to suck your time away, not give more of it to you
Quote
As you said yourself, you might want to try and enjoy stuff a bit more.
i was being a little half-hearted when i said that

the thing is, it doesn't actually work like that at all

it's kinda like saying "why be depressed when you could just be happy instead"

i suspect the ease and speed at which you were able to get the first job you ever applied for has honestly blinded you to some of the harsher realities of life, in that not everybody has had it as good as you, and america's job market is trash, on top of everything else that i've cited

bottom line, not everybody is capable of getting a robust career at a law firm or what have you

some people are doomed to be wage slaves, that's just the reality that i see, because they just don't have what it takes to be anything more than that

and they have every right to be pissed and unhappy about it, too—though for me, it IS getting unhealthy, because i do struggle to enjoy almost anything about life anymore, but i still think the notion that there's a career out there for everybody is just patent quixotic bullshit

3754
The Flood / Re: Man I fucking love this site sometimes
« on: March 12, 2018, 04:27:00 PM »
:( he finished the group photo? I totally missed that damn. It's such a shame he DELETED it.
not that one, a one from years ago

3755
The Flood / Re: What do you think of my selfies?
« on: March 12, 2018, 03:47:16 PM »
YouTube

3756
pop team epic is funny

i don't want to rate things that are still airing though

3757
The Flood / Re: Really starting to like my position
« on: March 12, 2018, 12:21:17 PM »
what you're describing is the problem with existence in general

but living in the system and accepting it, with all of its rewards and drawbacks, isn't hell. It's nice, and I feel better for a change

it's no 1984 here
i'm elated for you

also sorry, i didn't mean to make this thread about me

just having one of those days

3758
The Flood / Re: Really starting to like my position
« on: March 12, 2018, 12:19:53 PM »
Are you saying that you have no passions you could turn into a career?
none, zero

the passions i have are passions i wouldn't want to turn into a career, because i'd want them to stay pure and genuine forever—they're the only things i have, so throwing money into the equation would soil that in myriad ways

when i finish my book, anyone who wants to read it may do so, and when the time comes, maybe i'll just set up a patreon for anyone who's interested in supporting me, if anyone, and if nobody does, then nobody does

once you start naming prices, people start expecting things of you, until suddenly, what was once one of your greatest passions is now a massive burden on your shoulders

i've thought about streaming on twitch, too, but the same principle applies—i would have to consign myself to playing games i dislike, because i wouldn't want to ruin any of my favorite games

you could say that i'm fucked six ways to sunday

the best thing i can come up with is becoming one of those youtube ranters (as if there aren't already enough of those) but gaining a following would be extremely difficult because i'm neither agreeable nor personable enough

i'm also the kind of person who gets extremely discouraged whenever i see good content on youtube, because it just shows how much work it's actually going to end up being

perhaps the bottom line is that i just need to find a way to teach myself how to "enjoy" work

but how

3759
The Flood / Re: Really starting to like my position
« on: March 12, 2018, 11:56:45 AM »
There's jobs that you might find more compelling and worthwhile though. There's also some things you can't realistically do without it being a job.
i really wish the first statement were true, but i'm afraid it just isn't

if there really was something out there for me, do you not think i would have found it by now?

though, to be fair, what i'm basically struggling with is my mentality

even if i found the perfect job, i would still find a way to piss and bitch and moan about it, because i have such a perverted sense of self-fulfillment that being miserable almost gives me a perverse sense of satisfaction, just knowing that i was "right" all along, because i made myself right—that's just kinda the way i am, i literally feed off of my own negativity

you could say i just have a mental issue, which would be fair, but i also like to think that i have my reasons for being this way

jobs beget responsibilities, responsibilities beget mental burdens, mental burdens beget stress, stress begets misery

it's not to say that i can't handle a little bit of stress—it's the slow-burning cumulative effect of all the stressors in concatenation that makes them all the more soul-crushing, and it doesn't really matter what kind of job it is, because that's going to apply to pretty much all of them

obviously, none of this stuff is an issue for people who are pre-ordained to be responsible, itinerant, hardworking, normal people, but i'm just not one of those people—i have the potential to be a hard worker, but unless i'm actually passionate about something, i will go out of my way to put in the minimum effort, or i just won't do it at all

i also struggle with finding a sense of purpose—my philosophy on existentialism aside, it all really just seems like a fruitless struggle to me

on the offchance that i find an enjoyable place to work—that's still time that i could be spending doing shit that i actually want to do, which is sit around, sleep, consume art, make my own art, all while trying to be as little of a burden on the rest of society as possible as i live alone in the quiet, being a spectator, contributing nothing to a world i never asked to be part of in the first place

but what i think sounds reasonable is way too much to ask, so that doesn't give me a whole lot of options as far as my own happiness and personal comfort goes

i firmly believe that not everybody is cut out for work, and not everybody should have to work if they're so disinclined to do so—so the very idea that a person like me can exist in a world so incongruent with my values is a sick joke, and one that hasn't been funny in five years

i could go on but you're not my therapist, i'm just trying to get you see things from my pov for a moment

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The Flood / Re: Really starting to like my position
« on: March 12, 2018, 11:11:32 AM »
you're doing work a machine could be doing WOW that is just so productive

your insurmountable contributions to society will be hailed among the most significant fucking shit ever

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The Flood / Re: Really starting to like my position
« on: March 12, 2018, 11:09:17 AM »
i don't even want to enjoy a job, as that would qualify as a sign of early onset dementia
I dont get this weird thing you have against jobs

it's a productive way to spend time and go out into the world
yes, i love knowing that i live in a world where you HAVE to indenture yourself to some slave labor in order to be considered "productive," and it's absolutely not okay to be unproductive—it's absolutely not okay for you to just do whatever the fuck you want to do with your own life

i just love shaving off 30 to 40 hours of my week working at some literal shithole so i can deal with belligerent, retarded customers and apathetic lackadaisical coworkers every single day of my life

all to get a piddly paycheck with which i can hardly survive if i wanted to live alone, and even if i could, it only means that i get to buy food, feed myself, and wake up the next day knowing i get to do it ALL over again day after day after day and this is your fucking life now

wow that's so awesome that's just the american dream right there

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The Flood / Re: Really starting to like my position
« on: March 12, 2018, 10:36:09 AM »
i don't even want to enjoy a job, as that would qualify as a sign of early onset dementia

3763
The Flood / Re: Diana from Martin Mystery is too cool
« on: March 12, 2018, 01:34:48 AM »
AWFUL show

3764
The Flood / Re: Where Do You See Yourself In 1O Years?
« on: March 11, 2018, 04:38:47 PM »
Hopefully doing some cool stuff

What kind of cool stuff
High school physics teacher helping kids understand their potential and encouraging them to lead healthy lives.

I don't care about much else.
what do you know about physics

3765
Gaming / Re: I've been playing this on my OG Xbox today...
« on: March 11, 2018, 01:20:35 PM »
i grew up playing games like mario and zelda on NES, so when i played halo for the first time with friends in 2003 or something, it was the beginning of the end for me in terms of how i perceived video games

in that they're all fun and enjoyable

halo may have been the first game i ever played that i outright did not enjoy at all whatsoever, and it pissed me off how my friends gave up on fun stuff like pokémon just so they could play games like halo, san andreas, and a bunch of rated M games they were far too young to play, but they were still allowed because they had a shitty upbringing

when i came to terms with it all, and halo 2 eventually came out, i wound up enjoying myself more with that one, because you could play as an alien and you could use the energy sword, but whenever we played, i was just clamoring to back to my pokémon

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Gaming / Re: I've been playing this on my OG Xbox today...
« on: March 11, 2018, 01:07:53 PM »
My mother bought me a handful of games including Halo CE for the OG Xbox in 2009 I believe. I loved the game and decided to buy the rest of the trilogy.  It's what got me into gaming and why I'm even here right now.
2009? I was already on the hype train for ODST by that point but better late than never I suppose.
what does this even mean😂
"i played halo before you, so i'm cooler than you"

3768
Gaming / Re: ................
« on: March 11, 2018, 12:44:04 AM »
the weirdest part for me is how often he would repost it

3769
Gaming / Re: Post Memorable Video game Screen Shots
« on: March 10, 2018, 05:45:06 PM »

3770
The Flood / Re: Why can't I have her
« on: March 10, 2018, 03:57:35 PM »
Everything happens for a reason, remember that.
LOL
What's so funny?
"everything happens for a reason" is one of the most vapid and platitudinous non-statements of all time
Platitudinous? I guess I'll just have to post a meme like everyone else in this thread did. That would be much more interesting.
nope AS ALWAYS i'm the only one who posted real shit

3771
The Flood / Re: Why can't I have her
« on: March 10, 2018, 03:45:18 PM »
Everything happens for a reason, remember that.
LOL
What's so funny?
"everything happens for a reason" is one of the most vapid and platitudinous non-statements of all time

3772
The Flood / Re: Let's discuss your dream girl/guy.
« on: March 10, 2018, 01:10:35 PM »
likes video games and hates life is about all i can ask for at this point
What ever happened to that chick that lived in Europe that you liked
we're still friends, we actually just caught up again last month on FB and we still chat

she's a really sweet girl though, i wouldn't want to corrupt her with my bullshit even if we could make the long-distance thing work

i'm surprised anyone remembers that

3773
The Flood / Re: Let's discuss your dream girl/guy.
« on: March 10, 2018, 12:58:44 PM »
likes video games and hates life is about all i can ask for at this point

3774
Gaming / Re: Post Memorable Video game Screen Shots
« on: March 10, 2018, 12:51:38 PM »
as often as you post this, i always thought deeJ's dead body was a nice touch

3775
The Flood / Re: Recommend me melodic death metal
« on: March 10, 2018, 12:49:28 PM »
What makes metal death? Genres are so blended together nowadays.
"does it sound like shit"
you really have a hardon for Jono huh
and you, and LC, and inglorious, and deci, and dietrich, and everyone

yeah

3776
The Flood / Re: Where Do You See Yourself In 1O Years?
« on: March 10, 2018, 12:46:10 PM »
hasn’t he said, like multiple times, his keyboard doesn’t have a 0?
the one and only time he's ever explained it, he literally just thinks 1O looks better than 10

which is retarded because all numbers are specifically rendered to be symmetrical by pixel for easy-reading, and O throws it way the fuck off

3777
The Flood / Re: Recommend me melodic death metal
« on: March 10, 2018, 12:43:56 PM »
What makes metal death? Genres are so blended together nowadays.
"does it sound like shit"

3778
used to get food there a lot

3779
The Flood / Re: Where Do You See Yourself In 1O Years?
« on: March 10, 2018, 02:39:31 AM »
what is 1O

3780
The Flood / Re: Which Dr Dre Album was better?
« on: March 10, 2018, 01:49:17 AM »
challenger doesn't like art

he just plays fucking epic gun games made for stupid people

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