Quote from: Verbatim on December 17, 2016, 02:15:59 AM

gonna check this movie out sometime today

reminder 7>3>1>6>4>2>5

expected placement: ...>3>R>1...

What makes TPM so high on your list, ESB so low?

Phantom managed to take the Star Wars universe and place it under a more grounded setting. Watching it as a kid, the politics and government created a sense of ominous wonder--I didn't fully understand the implications of the Trade Federation or any of that nonsense, but it still worked to create this intense, monolithic presence throughout the film that created a cool, more "mature" atmosphere. That's the sort of thing I was looking for yet wasn't present in the OT. As with all children's movies, though, there are still some good lighthearted moments. Jar Jar is a reasonably funny character who brings a lot of humor to an otherwise comedically sterile franchise. When's the last time you laughed during the original trilogy? Was there any humor whatsoever? When Han Solo said "I know" to Leia, was that supposed to be funny or romantic? I can't fucking tell.

Anyway, the other characters in Phantom are great as well. Ewan McGregor, as always, was top notch for Obi-wan. Liam Neeson did a fine job playing Qui-gon--a lot of people thought his character was emotionless, but that's probably how a Jedi Master should be. Stern, stoic, wise, quiet, keeps to himself. He nailed the role. Natalie Portman was great as Padme. I didn't really like Anakin in this movie, though--I understand that he was just a kid, and he played the part of "the kid" well, but he didn't play the part of the "slave kid" well. He seemed too bright and happy. And the fact that he invented C-3P0 is kinda retarded.

Phantom does have some of the best scenes in the franchise. The podrace segment was awesome, if a little long-winded. The part where they're riding in the bongo through Naboo's planet core was cool, too. And I can't not mention the saber duel with Darth Maul, even if he's only remembered for having a double-sided blade.

There were also a lot of nice touches to the lore that I appreciated. The Force was finally explained with Midi-chlorians, so now this stupid magicky crap has a scientific explanation behind it--even if it's just fake science. Also, little things like Anakin hearing legends of the Jedi and calling the lightsabers "laser swords." I like that--it's true to life that folktales and legends passed down from the ages will often be passed down in flawed or ignorant ways, leaving out minor details but saving the important ones. So he calls it a "laser sword" because he's ignorant--it's just a legend he's heard of. He doesn't know the proper term because he wasn't even sure that the Jedi even existed.

But it's whatever--I don't watch this movie anymore because it's rather inconsequential for the story. When marathoning Star Wars films, I take on the machete order, which leaves out Phantom because it doesn't add much.

By no means is Phantom a great movie--it's just one of the better Star Wars movies, which isn't saying much.

As for Empire, it's one of the least entertaining films I've ever seen and I've already explained why. It's pure shit.

leaf blowers

Arguing what the best Star Wars is and why, is like arguing what your favorite music is and why. You always run into the same shit with the same people saying the same things and in the end it just leaves me rolling my eyes simply because people are treating the most subjective things as objective.

it gets so fucking dumb

and it's always ME who has to explain myself because i'm the one with the unpopular opinion

It's OK buddy, words can't hurt you.

That's the problem.

Quote from: BiggestCockInTheUnsullied on December 17, 2016, 04:11:17 AM

So what type of payback is he going to do to a country which has a shit load of nukes and a powerful military?

There is such a thing called war.

You're all a bunch of fucking pussies and traitors I swear to god. You should be anxious to put a bullet in a Russian just at the very hint that they might have tampered with our election.

I'd rather just kill Trump supporters.

why are you such a pretentious twat

"pretentious" is the wrong word

I'm certainly not aware of you doing so. Care to copy/paste it?

No, because my thoughts on each and very film have been intermittently spread out over the course of my two year posting history. There's no one large post where I have all of my thoughts on each and every film collected for people's convenience, and I can't be expected to gather them all up for you.

You're asking me to give a critical analysis of seven 3-hour films for you. I'm calling that unreasonable and entitled. If I ever want to do that, I'll do it on my own volition. What I can do is give you my in-brief opinion of each movie.

A New Hope - 4/10
Boring. Shitty. Luke Skywalker is whiny and annoying. Though I appreciate Lucas's decision to film in a real desert and his overall use of practical effects, I have no respect for his dull, hackneyed characterizations of people like Han Solo and Princess Leia. The whole premise of the movie is childish and stupid, and Alec Guinness agrees with me, calling it "fairytale rubbish." Alec Guinness is incidentally my favorite performance in the film, making the whole experience tolerable just with his acting alone. I love how he refers to his old friend Darth Vader as "Darth;" am I the only one who finds that slightly funny? Anyway, the rest of the movie is far too inept to hold my attention for longer than five minutes, because it everything feels so slow, stilted, and catered to children. Favorite scene: The Mos Eisley Cantina. Those puppets are amazing. Fun fact: Guinness hated Star Wars so much, he even made a little boy cry after telling him to stop watching it during an autograph session. I think he talks about it in his memoir.

Empire Strikes Back - 2/10
While I appreciate the darker direction the series is going in, that's about all I have to say for this absolutely loathsome piece of shit. This movie is a hemorrhoid in my asshole. This movie is the worst science fiction adventure flick I've ever seen in my life. And yet, it's the most celebrated science fiction adventure movie of all time. Oh boy, what a contrarian I am. I guess that just invalidates my opinion, huh? The reason I hate it is because it's, in two words that can only hope to express my complete and utter contempt for it, boring and stupid. Nothing puts me to sleep more than extended action scenes with little-to-no scenery or anything terribly important happening. The AT-ATs and the walkers and the whatever else are cool, but the scene still puts me to sleep because the entire sequence didn't have to be 45 fucking minutes long. And of course it takes place on a snow planet, where the scenery is nothing but sheet-white all around. Now we don't have to worry about having an interesting planet to look at, huh, Irvin Kershner? What a brilliant fucking plan. Anyway, I'm convinced that the only people like this movie is because of the shitty twist that they pulled out of their ass at the last minute. Having Darth Vader be Luke's father makes about as much sense as Jabba the Hutt being in Phantom Menace. It's fucking laughable. That said, it's still probably my favorite scene, just because I love Mark Hamill's acting during that whole sequence. He was whiny in the first movie, so it's good to see him mature a little bit--either as a character or an actor, I'm not sure. But the plot of these movies is so dumb--it's amazing to me how invested people get in the plot of these films. It's all nonsense.

Return of the Jedi - 6/10
Best of the OT, bar none. Ewoks are stupid and everyone knows it, but the third act of this film is so good and so rewarding. Ian McDiarmid is FUCKING AWESOME as the Emperor. I like how Luke's new lighsaber is green. That's really all I have to say at this point--I've talked about and defended RotJ to death and I'm frankly tired as fuck of talking about it.

The franchise as a whole up to this point - 4/10

Star Wars is a bad franchise of films made for children. It has a childish story, childish characters, and does very little to keep adults (who aren't totally blinded by nostalgia) very interested. It offers nothing from any deep philosophical standpoint beyond the simple, banal "dark vs. light" dichotomy that was a tired cliche fucking centuries ago. Seriously, this movie's black-and-white sense of morality pisses me off to no end. The Empire is evil because it's evil, and the rebels are good because they're good and they're trying to destroy the Empire. There is no nuance to any of this--nothing that might make you think, "Oh, okay, this makes sense" from the Dark Side's perspective. It makes otherwise sympathetic villains liked Darth Vader decidedly unsympathetic when you start thinking, "Wait, why did he join the Dark Side to begin with when it's so obviously evil and against everything a Jedi would stand for?" The franchise is a joke as a whole with one moderately entertaining movie to save it.

I've already typed far more than I intended, but these are still not my full thoughts. It would take me weeks to write a full review for each film and polish it to a point where I'm satisfied, which is why I find it so FUCKING ANNOYING when I'm constantly badgered for my thoughts on these fucking movies--or my thoughts on anything, when my opinions have been on the record for years and years.

On the prequels, all I have to say is this--just because I consider the prequels overall superior films (in every single goddamn way), I don't necessarily consider any of them good movies. They're ALL bad. The prequels are just better. TFA is my favorite because it took ANH and it made it tolerable.

Quote from: FatherlyNick on December 17, 2016, 06:03:02 AM

Quote from: Flee on December 14, 2016, 11:44:39 AM

Quote from: True Turquoise on December 14, 2016, 07:13:42 AM

If you're going to get banned for that


Why, as a developer, put this in a game, that's like getting banned for making a clip of the strip tease on metro

I imagine that the idea behind it is that it's fine to be in mature games (supposedly) played adults or older teens, but not everywhere else. If the PSN works like XBL, these pictures will be shared with and visible to anyone regardless of their age. Simply put, it's fine to have explicit sexuality in a game for older people, but not for them to take pictures of it and share them on an open platform where an 8 year old playing Lego games and Knack on his dad's PS4 can see it.

Take screenshot of burning bus with people in it in GTA 5 - share it - no one cares, A-Okay!
Take screenshot of a human genital - OMG NOOO!!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
Either ban all, or none at all.
ffs

It's one of the big contradictions in the West and extremely so in the US. Exposing children to violence on shows and letting them play with actual guns is fine and dandy, but the moment a nipple makes an appearance on a show it's an outrage.

You're both dumb, and so is everybody who's ever spouted this facile, tenuous Facebook-tier "violence is okay but sex isn't? WOW AMERICA" rhetoric that I'd expect only shitposters like Loaf to whine about. There is no comparison to be made between how we handle sex and violence in media--none whatsoever. There is no problem. There is no contradiction. There is no hypocrisy. We respond appropriately to both types of imagery and we frankly couldn't handle it better if we tried.

First of all, we do have a rating system for a reason. GTA is rated M for a reason. Maybe before you start whining about Little Joe getting to see violence and/or sex in his video games, stop and think before you let him play those games in the first place.

After taking this precaution, even if your kid does see some violent images, here's the thing: people--yes, even dumbass little kids, with a little bit of good guidance and good parenting--are highly capable of separating cartoons from reality. There is no evidence to suggest that violent images in video games incite violent behavior outside of video games--because it doesn't. Little Joe is not going to become a serial killer because he saw a burning bus in a still-frame image from Grand Theft fucking Auto. Get real.

On the sex side, however, this is something we actually need to think more carefully about. Sexual imagery is a lot more volatile for a child's growing mind than is a picture of some over-the-top fake violence. A child good see this image of a prostitute sprawled on the ground with her vagina in full-view, think to himself "What is that? I don't have one of those!" then maybe ask one of his female friends (if he has any) at school if he can take a look at her privates to verify whether some people have different private parts.

Technically, this could be described as harmless exploratory behavior, but it could also lead to some extremely damaging behavior down the line as Little Joe grows more curious about the female anatomy which could lead to touching or other degenerate/perverted behaviors which should be quelled before they get worse. I wish I had the studies to bolster my argument, but I really do consider all of us common fucking sense.

Violent images are okay because they're so far beyond the pale of reality and do not promote violent behavior whatsoever.
Sexual images are not okay because they do display REAL behavior which could be psychologically damaging to children.

Let this meme fucking die.

Quote from: Verbatim on December 17, 2016, 02:30:50 AM

i've said it before and i'll say it again

if your order is 546321 or 546312, why even take all that time to type it out

just say "i have the most generic possible normie opinion," and we'll know exactly what you mean

meanwhile, dapper's is the most unique i've seen ever

now this is just contrarianism for the sake of it

If that were true, Revenge would be my least favorite prequel and Attack would be my favorite. Not that there's anything wrong with having contrarian opinions--especially when you're right.

That's the other thing about 546>ers--they cannot accept other people's opinions and simply refer to them as contrarian if they go even somewhat outside of their little box.

Quote from: Verbatim on December 17, 2016, 04:31:31 AM

real talk, how do you even write an "a" like that

like, define the strokes

It's kind of like when your mom strokes my dick

if you used the word "how" instead of "when," not only would that have made more grammatical sense, it also would've had a little more punch to it

stay sharp my friend

My Xbone One.

i thought it was your Nintendo GCN GameCube

or your PSX PlayStation 1 One (one) (I)

magnavox odyssey

my dad's a console collector--we have just about everything you could name (except the 360/xbone because xbox sucks LOL)

we also have an old arcade cabinet, which is pretty sick

Just stopped by to say that the Prequels are shit

I'll see myself out now

WOAH, WHAT A BALLSY STATEMENT

Quote from: Verbatim on December 17, 2016, 02:30:50 AM

i've said it before and i'll say it again

if your order is 546321 or 546312, why even take all that time to type it out

just say "i have the most generic possible normie opinion," and we'll know exactly what you mean

meanwhile, dapper's is the most unique i've seen ever

verb, make sure your horse isn't too high, babe.

i just think it's funny how i can pre-empt people's opinions before they even give them out

i bet you're a 546312er

i've said it before and i'll say it again

if your order is 546321 or 546312, why even take all that time to type it out

just say "i have the most generic possible normie opinion," and we'll know exactly what you mean

meanwhile, dapper's is the most unique i've seen ever