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Gaming / Re: Pokemon Scarlet and Violet (Late 2022)
« on: August 05, 2022, 12:10:35 AM »
"scarlet and violet will be an open world rpg, a first in the pokemon series" what was legends arceus then? i didnt play that game
Legends was only semi-open, in the sense that you have a big world to explore, but it's still divided up into individual (albeit decently large) sections. Basically, you can't go from one area to the other without checking in at the game's hub town first. Traveling in S/V will be completely freeform and seamless.
that new gimmick seems a bit confusing, does it mean any pokemon can be ANY type? if so then it might lead to some interesting setups and the like
I was thinking maybe that each Pokémon would have a pool of possible Tera Types that they could have, just because certain type combinations would be very overpowered (an Electric-type Shedinja, for example, would only be able to get hit by moves of a single type, barring residual damage from weather, Leech Seed, etc).

But we'll have to see, because they haven't given out too many more details.
the scarlet legendary having wheels but running on its legs looks so silly
Yeah, that part basically confirmed that I'll be getting Violet, just because Miraidon looks way less stupid when it's driving around. I'm not huge on the idea of getting a legendary so early—could make the game way too easy, depending on how powerful it is—but maybe they'll make it so you can't actually battle with it until the end, or something.

Gaming / Re: Pokemon Scarlet and Violet (Late 2022)
« on: August 04, 2022, 02:09:24 PM »
is watching the whole presentation worth it? i only watched the 2-ish minute trailer lol

what other stuff did they talk about in the presentation?
first 10 minutes is all side-game bullshit (PoGo, Unite, Masters, and Café ReMix if you care about any of that)

last 10 minutes is all S/V focused and is worth watching—they show off the region, talk about the open world and game structure a bit, reveal some new Pokémon, and reveal the new battle gimmick called "terastal" which is pretty interesting

Gaming / Re: Pokemon Scarlet and Violet (Late 2022)
« on: August 04, 2022, 12:38:48 PM »
going off yesterday's presentation, the games are looking a bit more promising now

being able to do gyms in any order sounds great, and the new battle gimmick seems mechanically interesting, even if i don't really care for it visually

The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: August 01, 2022, 11:58:43 PM »
wasn't that second thing a quote from class though
i would never quote class for any reason
if anything i ever say makes you think class also said it at one point, you can guarantee that class got it from me

The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 31, 2022, 08:22:48 PM »
Traps lives in his head rent free and that's really funny
or i just saw solonoid log on and decided to annoy her with something that we used to argue about for old time's sake

but also that, yeah sure

The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 31, 2022, 08:11:40 PM »
Dude comes in out of nowhere and starts defending traps when nobody asked

This is called denial exhibit  A
>nobody asked
it is literally an AMA

The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 31, 2022, 07:40:02 PM »
have you accepted the cold hard truth that traps are not gay yet
The traps themselves are not gay, you are gay for liking them.
well, i'm not trying to say that i'm not gay, here—because i definitely am—but it's not because i like traps, because the whole point of being gay, as a man, is that you have an attraction to the physical male form

this is why you masturbate to anime girls, despite the fact that drawings are not real women. sexual attraction works on a "close enough" basis, it's never black-and-white. as long as it LOOKS like a sexy lady, you're going to be sexually interested. that's just how it works

why would a strictly gay man be attracted to someone with a distinctly feminine appearance? that makes zero sense

The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 30, 2022, 09:57:14 PM »
have you accepted the cold hard truth that traps are not gay yet

Gaming / Re: i set a world record (kinda)
« on: July 13, 2022, 01:58:53 PM »
Didjew post it to the leaderboards?
yep, there's a link to it in the OP

nice! im looking at those leaderboards and i see only you and a handful of others have photo proof of your score, while 2nd, 3rd and many others dont have proof

doesnt seem very fair to not have to include proof
yeah, i agree. there IS a moderation process before they'll let you upload a score, though, where i assume you'd get rejected/asked for more proof if your score seemed particularly fishy (took them 2 days to check mine)

a score like 5650 is pretty tough to get, but it isn't particularly insane or unheard of, so they probably didn't think it was questionable

also, some people just upload scores to be on the leaderboard, even if they're in 19th place or something, so there's not much point in verifying when no one's gonna brag about that anyway

but i agree, as a matter of principle, proof should just be required and it's kinda strange that it isn't.
could be game dependent

Gaming / i set a world record (kinda)
« on: July 12, 2022, 05:19:48 PM »

Pokémon Snap recently dropped on the NSO N64 app, so I've been playing that a bunch lately. Featured in the game is my favorite Pokémon, Porygon, so I thought it would be fun to try taking the highest possible scoring photo of one (or, in this case, two).

Pictured above is my best effort: a 5710 point photo earned after hours and hours of grinding. After looking up what the world record is, though, I discovered that a Japanese player was able to snap a photo worth 5790 points, 10 points off the theoretical maximum. In other words, to beat this guy, I would need to take a flawless photo. Maximum points in every category—a feat which may or may not even be possible, given that nobody has been able to do it for the 20+ years the game has been out.

At that point, I figured the dream was done—I already invested so much time into getting one photo over 5700 points, and I still had 80 points to go before I could even tie the world record. Seemed like a hopeless waste of time.

Then, it hit me—these scores are only valid for the original N64 version of the game. It turns out that there's actually a separate leaderboard for the Wii, Wii U, and Switch ROMs of the game (and the reason for this is because these versions of the game utilize a different scoring algorithm than the N64 original).

Upon realizing this, I immediately checked the other leaderboard, and lo and behold—it turns out that I do have the highest scoring Porygon photo—but only for this version of the game. And by 60 points. I figured, you know what? I'LL TAKE IT. I have a world record. It may be the lamest world record of all time, but it's M I N E

Gaming / Re: Backlog 2020/2021
« on: July 12, 2022, 04:49:56 PM »
didn't get around to playing all the games i wanted to last month, but here's what i did play:

Inscryption (2021) - 8/10
: Creepy roguelike deckbuilding game. Hard game to talk about without ruining what makes it interesting beneath the surface, so I'm not going to bother. Just look it up on Steam, and it looks remotely interesting to you, play it. I enjoyed myself with it.

Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors (1994) - 7/10
Night Warriors: Darkstalkers' Revenge (1995) - 8/10
Vampire Savior: The Lord of Vampire (1997) - 8/10
: Consider me a newfound Darkstalkers guy, I suppose. This is the entire trilogy, which I was able to check out thanks to this brand new collection that just came out. They're all amazing, but Vampire Savior is obviously the best. These games are well-known for having some of the most fluid and cracked out sprite animations of all time, but they're also extremely fun to play on top of that—a perfect marriage of style and substance. Some of the more "extra" character designs do kinda make me roll my eyes (Felicia), and you could certainly argue that the games offer very little in terms of unique mechanics to help it stand out from its peers in the genre, but it's impossible for me not to recognize just how hard Capcom popped off with these titles.

I'd say I'd kill for a new installment, but part of me is okay that the series has laid dormant for 25 years. Capcom is a different studio now; it's hard to know if the newer generation of developers could do the series justice in any way. It would be sick, though.

Star Fox 64 (1997) - 8/10
: What an all-time classic. I don't know anyone who doesn't have this in their top 10 N64 games. I'm terrible at it, hence why it's taken me this long to actually sit down and finish it, but I always seem to forget just how thrilling it is when I haven't picked it up in a while. It's such a rush when you're able to clear a whole level without losing a single copilot; getting to hear all the silly banter traded between characters through communications is always a treat. I haven't been able to get one of the better endings yet, but I will some day.

I'm not terribly interested in the rest of the series, but I can see myself trying the GameCube game some day, just because I know they tried something completely different with that one. It's just hard for me to imagine them topping 64, especially when nobody ever really talks about the other games in the series. Like, at all.

Cave Story (2004) - 7/10
: The ur-indie game. It's neat, has good music, and tells a nice little story. I have a friend who insists that I play it once more to get the true ending, which I haven't gotten around to yet. Given that the game was entirely designed by one dude on-and-off over five years (who proceeded to release the game for free when he was finished—what a chad king), it's safe to say that my respect for the game towers over how much I actually enjoyed it, which happens sometimes. It's a little quaint how a game originally intended to pay homage to 8-bit classics like Metroid and Kid Icarus has essentially become a retro classic in and of itself, but the layers of modernity it provides does help it "hold up" a little better than those games, at least by contemporary standards and gameplay sensibilities.

Mega Man Legends (1997) - 6/10
: Representing Mega Man's first step into the third dimension, the Legends series of Mega Man titles also represents a complete departure from the firmly established formula set up by basically every other game in the series until then. The game is a third person shooter adventure game with some dungeon crawling thrown in. A greater emphasis on story is placed than there ever had been before, although it ultimately plays out like a silly kodomomuke anime show, with lots of colorfully designed and highly expressive characters with BIG personalities who find themselves in increasingly absurd situations. Beneath its happy-go-lucky surface, though, is a surprisingly moody and atmospheric game with a whisper here and there of something darker and more serious to be found within its seemingly endless underground hallways. I wanted to like this game more, but it kind of has a whole lot of things going against it—mainly how clunky the controls are. I eventually got the hang of them, but the game overall just doesn't FEEL good to play, which is a bit of a problem. I also found the OST generally disappointing, especially given that you can normally expect a Mega Man game's soundtrack to be filled with bangers—but there really weren't any here, because they wanted to focus on creating ambient moods, which didn't really work for me. It succeeded in making the dungeons feel a little scarier to explore, but I dunno. I'd much rather be rocking out to some sick jams while spelunking for better robot gear, personally.

That said, I'm excited to play Legends 2 because I've heard that it makes some major improvements. I'm also interested in playing The Misadventures of Tron Bonne, a side-game starring who was easily my favorite supporting character from the first game.

Red Earth (1996) - 6/10
: One of the bonus games featured on the Darkstalkers collection, this is a pseudo-fighting game designed to be a single player experience where you level up your character avatar by slaying a series of monsters. It's like an RPG where all you do is fight monsters, but instead of the combat being turn-based, it's done in the style of a one-on-one fighting game with health bars and special moves and shit. It's very strange, and I've never played anything like it. The closest thing I could compare it to would be the boss rush mode in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I give it points for the fun concept, but the execution could've been better. There's only four playable characters, and they're all pretty uninspired. Gameplay is slow and rather clunky, but it does feel good smacking those giant monsters around. If they ever made a sequel to this, I'm sure it would've been much better, but they never did. This game faded into obscurity and was never re-released until just last month.

Dear Esther (2012) - 6/10
: Part of the old guard of "walking sims" that people used to bellyache over, this game did essentially nothing for me. The man reading the letters in the background has a nice voice and gave a good performance, I suppose. The game itself, by design, is pregnant with emptiness, yet successfully manages not to overstay its welcome, on top of offering me pleasant scenery, and an interesting question as to the boundaries of what can be considered a "game." It's a work of art that I consider worthy of existing, the same way I wouldn't balk at the sight of a photorealistic painting of a table—it's nice for what it is, but not especially riveting or impactful. It's just kinda there, and I don't necessarily mind that.

EarthBound Beginnings (1989) - 2/5
: It's an NES-era RPG, so of course it's not good, but it does possess three qualities that are worth appreciating—its music, its setting, and its sense of humor. Sadly, these elements are not nearly enough to carry the experience or make it any less of a waste of time. And the game wastes a LOT of your time—it's one of the grindiest JRPGs I've ever played, on top of feeling like a shitty ROM hack of Dragon Warrior. It's a wonder how people used to tolerate RPGs this slow back in the day.

But now that I'm finished with it, I can finally move on to the SNES game that everyone loves so goddamn much. I'm gonna make it the very next game that I play. Keeping my expectations on the lower end, because I'm not sure how much I believe the hype.

i started an account on Backloggd, so i'm thinking about starting to post my thoughts on games over there for now
(i'm also trying to slow down on the video games in general for the time being as i get some life things in order)

Serious / Re: The Biden Presidency
« on: July 09, 2022, 07:25:22 PM »
au contraire, mordo--for the REAL problem facing americans is that capitalism is, in the actual matter of the most veracious of facts,

t o o   f e t t e r e d

Serious / Re: The Biden Presidency
« on: July 09, 2022, 05:36:57 PM »
do you need to know the exact ratio of fetters to unfetters to know that the ratio is off
does the ratio need to be 99:1 before you can make generalizations about its proportions
if it turned out that the ratio is 60:40 in favor of fetters after all, does that mean america doesn't actually have any issues with social mobility that could possibly be tied to its socioeconomic structure

ready to engage in some high level economic discourse on the backwater seven-sided polygon app

Serious / Re: The Biden Presidency
« on: July 09, 2022, 03:06:26 PM »
*clown country

not that it isn't a clown world, too, but we shouldn't indict that world for the failings of one clown country, especially when other countries have the US beat when it comes to affordable housing, and also doesn't foster a culture where we force our children to attend college or kick them out by age 18

The Flood / Re: recorded a new TOTD video last year
« on: July 05, 2022, 05:18:44 PM »
more years have passed since the last time you posted than you have brain cells, and it doesn't seem like anything has changed
dane dehaan
pretty decent actor, not the worst avatar chronic could've been forced me to use

The Flood / Re: recorded a new TOTD video last year
« on: July 05, 2022, 04:43:43 PM »
more years have passed since the last time you posted than you have brain cells, and it doesn't seem like anything has changed

Serious / Re: The Biden Presidency
« on: June 29, 2022, 11:31:12 AM »
despite the peace and quiet the planet has been experiencing over the past couple years, it's good to know that god has been able to keep himself busy watching high school football games

Serious / Re: The Biden Presidency
« on: June 24, 2022, 12:22:49 PM »
silver lining is that this could actually galvanize dems into gaining more seats in congress this year, in which case we'll have a much easier time writing shit into law rather than having to rely on these flimsy court rulings (and RvW was flimsy)

democrats may get complacent, but historically, they always get shit done when their feet is held to the fire--so i'm actually a little optimistic about the future, if you could believe that

for those of you who like to waste time arguing with people about abortion on the internet, holy fucking shit, i BESEECH you to find a stronger argument than "bodily autonomy"--i know it's a super woke-sounding argument and it makes you look super cool, but it's actually SO fucking dogshit that i genuinely believe it causes more damage to our side of the argument than it does to the other. you are going to get perfunctorily trounced by any pro-lifer who has any experience in the debate, because all they have to do is ask "what about the bodily autonomy of the fetus," and everything you say after that question will be interpreted as mental gymnastics (because it kind of will be), and it's not going to make you look good. it's going to make you look BAD, to everybody, except for the biggest dipshits on your side who think you're making a good point.

i'm jerking myself off a little here, but you need to argue for abortion the way an anti-natalist would and appeal more to the safety of the child than the personal comfort of the mother. you need to do this, because it's a given that conservatives don't give a shit about the mother, since we already know they don't give a shit about women in general. they're only concerned about the child (well, supposedly). so you need to ask them questions pertaining to the safety of the child, like why they'd want children to be born to a set of parents who wouldn't want them, or philosophical questions, like whether a child being forced into a life of abject misery is truly better than sparing them of that brutal circumstance. if you're arguing with a religious person, and they're unwilling to consider the possibility that there is no god/afterlife/whatever, then the conversation is fucked and you just shouldn't have it.

take it from an anti-natalist who's been debating this subject for longer than most people have been comfortable doing so publicly. you MUST find a stronger argument than bodily autonomy. conservatives and pro-lifers CLEARLY do not give a fuck about that. i've seen people try to use this argument against below-average intelligence pro-lifers, and the pro-choicer always gets mangled and embarrassed. it's really bad and makes us look like fucking morons.

Gaming / Re: Street Fighter 6
« on: June 14, 2022, 06:34:52 AM »
game's looking really, really good

choose your character, boys⁠—this may or may not be the entire starting roster, but everyone's looking great, and i think they did a great job aging up the veterans without subtracting from their design in any way

with my main man Balrog out of the picture for the time being, i was thinking about picking up Chunners this time around, but i'm also curious about A.K.I.

very much appreciate the variety of body types we have on display here, especially for the new female characters

literally don't be boring, though

Gaming / Re: Yugioh Master Duel
« on: June 10, 2022, 08:01:28 PM »
yeah, i decided that the actual game just isn't really for me anymore, but i have taken an interest in casually collecting the cards again (just the ones that i think are cool, though; nothing of any actual value)

recently picked up the holy trinity of Forbidden Memories, AKA the three cards that are guaranteed to carry you through this terrible terrible game, and right now, i'm in the process of picking up every card in the deck i used to beat Duelists of the Roses (not counting fusions, i still need twenty cards for that, five of which were only released in the OCG)

Gaming / Re: Backlog 2020/2021
« on: May 30, 2022, 02:04:18 PM »
tried to play nothing but the good stuff this past may—really starting to put the hurt on my backlog now

Metal Gear Solid (1998) - 9/10
: This one felt good to enter into the spreadsheet. I can't explain why it's taken me so long to play this one, but at least I finally did, because it really is one of the best games ever. Has it begun to show a little bit of aging? Absofuckinglutely, but in terms of what the game was able to accomplish with its filmic ludonarrative structure, I would be remiss not to acknowledge that the game's faults are thoroughly dwarfed by its achievements and more appreciable elements, such as all the clever yet hidden little implements of realism, which would always catch me off guard, or how every single story beat is memorable, engaging, and even thought-provoking at times, or how the game's (genuinely funny) sense of humor never gets in the way of its more grounded and serious moments. Turning video games into movies for the rest of time could be considered an unfortunate side-effect of this game's success, but at the same time, it's games like this that also help push the medium forward artistically, and I'll always cherish it for that. I'll be continuing on with this series as soon as I'm able.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (1998) - 8/10
: I have a troubled relationship with this game. There have been periods where I've enjoyed it, but I've never quite loved it. There have also been periods where I've outright disliked it, considering it to be the single most overrated video game, and that the people who claim to love it so much only claim as such because of nostalgia—an opinion that I completely disavow today. Having finally played it all the way through, during a time when nobody's really talking about the game anymore, I feel like I'm finally able to have a much clearer perspective on it, untainted by hype and expectation, and one where I can truly look at the game for what it is—and what I've been able to conclude for myself is that it's a pretty great game for which I hold a great deal of appreciation, and now more than ever, I am fully capable of understanding why the game is so beloved. From front to back, it just feels like the ultimate little kid's fantasy adventure. It's deeply comforting to play. The immaculate presentation makes the game's relatively small world feel big, vivacious, and exciting to explore. The dungeons are huge, brimming with atmosphere, and feel almost insurmountable until you finally conquer them. Every side character is lovable and interesting, to a point where I'd often find myself going out of my way to find one NPC on the other side of Hyrule just to see what they're up to—and I was never disappointed; they would always have something new to say. It's no secret to me anymore why this game holds such a special place in so many people's hearts.

Do I still think it's a little overrated, though? If I'm being honest, maybe just a little bit, but with my newfound understanding of the game's appeal, I wouldn't choose to phrase it that way anymore. Instead, I would simply argue that there are several Zelda games that do what Ocarina of Time does for me, but on a greater scale—namely, Majora's Mask, The Wind Waker, A Link to the Past and Breath of the Wild. Strictly on a personal level, I think I'd still even place the original Zelda game as well as Zelda II above it in my personal rankings. But that doesn't mean I think it's a substandard game in the series—on the contrary, I think it's quite fantastic. It's just that "fantastic" is "average" for a Zelda game, because the average Zelda game is fantastic. If anything, playing Ocarina of Time has only further solidified this series as my all-time favorite, so I'll never think to sleep on it again.

The next one I still have to play is Oracle of Seasons, which I hope to be starting soon—I've already beaten its counterpart, Oracle of Ages, which is somewhat ironic considering that Seasons is the one I owned as a kid.

Super Punch-Out!! (1984) - 3/5
Punch-Out!! Featuring Mr. Dream (1990) - 5/5
: Yep, I finally beat this cocksucker after SOOO many years of not being able to do so.

Okay, so it's not as cool as beating Mike Tyson, but they fight the exact same way. I also beat the arcade version of Super Punch-Out!! shortly before achieving this, as well, which means that I've beaten every single Punch-Out!! game.

My conclusion on the series:
1. Super Punch-Out!! (1994, SNES)
2. Punch-Out!! (2009, Wii)
3. Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! (1987, NES) / Punch-Out!! featuring Mr. Dream (1990, NES)
4. Punch-Out!! (1984, arcade)
5. Super Punch-Out!! (1984, arcade)

They're all great, of course—probably Nintendo's most consistent series, honestly—but the two original arcade games are definitely rough around the edges. The NES game, whether you're playing the Mike Tyson version or the Mr. Dream version, is an all-time classic that is going to be extremely fucking difficult to play if you don't have a good television. I have a laggy flatscreen television without a game mode, so the fact that I was able to beat the game, let alone play it in any capacity, is kind of a miracle. The SNES game is my personal favorite. It has the widest variety of opponents and a lot of cool mechanics at play that make each fight feel like a real fair fight (apart from all the illegal moves your opponents throw around). No fight ever feels completely one-sided in anybody's favor, and just like the arcade versions, there is no round system to steal anyone's TKO. It's a raw test of skill. The Wii game, objectively speaking, probably should be considered the best one, because it kind of is, but I still slightly prefer the SNES game's implementation of some of the better mechanics otherwise found only in the arcade games—plus, I find the opponents more interesting.

Kirby's Dream Land 3 (1997) - 7/10
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards (2000) - 7/10
: Kirby 64 recently got added to NSO's N64 service, so I thought I'd check that out after playing Dream Land 3, its immediate predecessor, given that I've already beaten all the other Kirby games leading up to these ones. I don't have a lot to say about them—they're just good, old-fashioned, fun little platformers. Dream Land 3 has you experimenting with powered-up abilities given to you by six different animal friends you can partner up with, and Kirby 64 lets you power up your abilities by fusing two of them together. In both games, you only get to fight the true final boss if you collect every heart star or crystal shard in the game, most of which will require you to experiment with all sorts of unique ability combos to find. Some of these collectibles are fun, creative, and clever. Others are stupid, cryptic, and annoying. Regardless, like finishing a jigsaw puzzle, completing the process is quite satisfying—I just don't know if I'll ever come back to these games again.

If I had to pick which game I like better, it would probably be Kirby 64, but Dream Land 3 is one of the prettiest looking SNES games I've ever seen (which makes sense, given how it was the final first party Nintendo game to be released for the system).

The next Kirby game I'd play is Amazing Mirror, but I'm not gonna consider that "urgent," or anything. There's a lot of other things I'd rather be playing right now than another Kirby, so that one can wait a while.

Yoshi's Story (1997) - 5/10
: Yoshi's Island is one of my favorite games of all time, but unfortunately, this one didn't do a lot for me, especially as a direct follow-up. They definitely tried something different with this game, and I can respect and appreciate that. Although there are twenty-four levels, you only get to play six of them over the course of the game, so no two playthroughs will end up looking alike (unless you want them to). Levels don't "end" in the traditional way by having you reach some sort of goalpost—instead, levels end as soon as Yoshi eats exactly thirty of the fruits scattered bountifully across each level. If you only eat one specific kind of fruit, it'll take much longer, but you'll make Yoshi happier (which scores you more points).

That's all well and good, but I have never given a shit about scoring points in any video game I've ever played—I basically just play games to beat them, and to experience the story, if there happens to be one. I played enough of this game to see every level in the game at least one time, but my playstyle focused around eating the first thirty fruits I saw—a pretty boring and easy experience that I could make harder on myself by only focusing on a single kind of fruit, but that creates this weird dilemma in my mind, where I feel like I'm just "filling in" for the game's entertainment value, which is something that I consider to be the game's responsibility, not mine.

I don't know if that makes sense, but I basically just don't enjoy the sensation of putting a lot of work and effort into making a game more fun, because I think games should just be fun on their own, without my help. On its own, Yoshi's Story is kind of a dull mess of awkward, unsatisfying controls and incredibly messy level design. I appreciate the experimentation, I really do—but I think there's a good reason why they never really returned to this style of gameplay—because it just doesn't really work.

I haven't heard too many good things about any of the Yoshi games that would follow this one, unfortunately, so this will probably be the last game in the series that I play for a long time.

Double Dragon (1987) - 3/5
: I had this idea recently where I'd watch every single movie adapted from a video game for the purpose of ranking them, but before I'd commit to doing such a stupid thing, I'd want to familiarize myself with the source material of every video game that ever got a film adaptation. Double Dragon happened to be the oldest one on the list.

As a rule, I don't really like beat 'em up games—and while Double Dragon may not be the first example of one, it's commonly cited as the game that put the genre on the map. I obviously wasn't expecting this ancient-ass game to change my perspective on the genre entirely, but in case you were wondering, it certainly didn't. It is a thoroughly brainless experience—which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's just not quite for me, and I don't have much else to say about it other than that.

I'm sure the movie is spectacular, though.

Ice Climber (1984) - 2/5
: I define "beating" Ice Climber as making it to the summit (not necessarily the peak) of all 32 mountains, and because the game allows you to choose which mountain to start on on the title screen, I opted to use this function as an unlimited continue system—otherwise, I would never have the patience to beat this game with the small number of lives they give you.

This game sucks. I know it's almost forty years old, but I don't care. I really, really hate how it feels to jump in this game, and that's a pretty big problem when that's the only thing that you do. It's horrible. That said, I kind of wish Nintendo would make another one, though. If Kid Icarus can get another one, I'm not sure why Ice Climber can't. They could actually make it good this time.

What I'm gonna try to play for next month: Mega Man Legends, Cave Story, Star Fox 64, Tomb Raider, MGS2, TLoZ: Oracle of Seasons, Doom, F-Zero X, Sonic Adventure, and Wing Commander.

The Flood / Re: Bungie speaks out for "reproductive rights"
« on: May 19, 2022, 01:35:18 AM »

Serious / Re: The Biden Presidency
« on: May 06, 2022, 03:14:00 PM »
I don’t recall ever posting about disdain for masks and I still do wear one on occasion despite not necessarily needing to. This comment is out of nowhere.

I will also go on the record and point out that I have no qualms with abortions.
okay, but think about what you just said there

if you're willing to draw a line of equivalence, joking or otherwise, between overturning an election and overturning roe v. wade, DESPITE the fact that you are not opposed to abortion, then it follows that you'd probably be okay with drawing any line of equivalence—even if it betrays your own beliefs—as long it allows you to dunk on the libs, right

i just can't imagine having no qualms with abortion, and making that post

Serious / Re: The Biden Presidency
« on: May 06, 2022, 10:38:54 AM »
i’d say there’s a pretty blatant false equivalence between rioters incited by lies from a president, desperately trying to hold on to power, and rioters incited by actual rights being infringed/taken away.
something something, what about that time the left failed to respect ian's bodily autonomy by forcing him to wear a mask, etc etc

the day ian or inglorious finally post a good political take will be the day that sep7agon dies for good

the question is, who will it be

Gaming / Re: Backlog 2020/2021
« on: May 01, 2022, 09:23:36 PM »
played a really nasty batch of games this past april—with one small exception, every game i played last month gave me different flavors of misery

Wario Land II (1998) - 5/5
: One of my favorite games growing up was Wario Land 3, but I hadn't ever played the other games in the series, so I thought I'd check out its immediate predecessor. For the handheld it was designed for, it's a top-notch platformer, even if 3 would ultimately outmode it in every single way, in my opinion. At this point, the only games in the series I haven't beaten yet are 4 and Shake It for the Wii, but I don't feel any urgent desire to play those any time soon.

Persona 2: Innocent Sin (1999) - 4/10
Persona 2: Eternal Punishment (2000) - 3/10
: These games were recommended to me over five years ago by someone who used to post here, so I feel kind of bad for taking this long to get to them. If you still happen to lurk every now and then, this one's for you.

Don't let my low ratings give you the idea that I hated these games—at least, not entirely. While I can truly and honestly say that I loathed the gameplay, just as I loathed the gameplay of the first Persona game, the Persona 2 duology tells what is easily one of my new favorite video game storylines... but boy, do I just wish they were better games. "Dated" does not even begin to describe how these games are designed. Innocent Sin is probably the more tolerable of the two, given how easy it is—but that easiness did not go over well with the fans, apparently. In response, Atlus made Eternal Punishment is much more challenging, but at the cost of forcing you to engage with its horribly decrepit mechanics. Considering how significantly older JRPGs like Chrono Trigger don't make me want to pull my hair out playing them, I found Persona 2's flaws almost impossible to forgive, hence the low ratings.

But, again—the story these games tell is really quite good. I loved all the characters, and how they're written is almost Evangelion-esque in that they all feel like real people instead of just silly exaggerated anime characters—and although it might come across that way at first, the games have a manner of slowly unraveling the inner psychological turmoil that each of these characters are going through, which not only brings a lot of depth, but also gets you pretty endeared to them, even if you initially disliked their personalities. Essentially, first impressions count for nothing in Persona. Also, Eternal Punishment is unique in that, unlike the rest of the series, which has you following a group of high school students, you are instead given a party of adult characters—not even college kids, but actual adults with careers and shit. It's pretty cool.

Naturally, the over-arching themes of the narrative resonated with me a fuckton, as well—to learn how to accept your flaws, tp atone for the mistakes you've made in the past, to understand what it means to be an adult, and to understand how to take control of your own destiny are rife within the plot of these two games, and it was all very meaningful to me. I may not have enjoyed playing these games so much as I enjoyed the story being told to me, but sometimes video games are like that I suppose.

I'll look forward to playing Persona 3 in the future, because it's my understanding that the series really comes into its own in by this point—but I'll be delighted if the storyline is half as good as what I experienced in 2. In any case, I'll be taking a good long break from Persona for the time being—playing two old JRPGs back to back has done a number on my psyche, so I'll need toms time to recover from that.

Rayman (1995) - 7/10
: It wasn't too long ago that I described Bug! (1995) for the Sega Saturn as the hardest game I've ever beaten, and it didn't take too long for me to find something to dethrone it. Yes, Rayman for the PS1 is the most difficult video game I've ever played—and if you have any idea what I'm talking about, you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you that I actually beat the entire game without cheating or looking anything up. And you shouldn't believe me. But the fact is, I did—and the things I resorted to doing in order to make this remotely possible are going to scar me for the rest of my life. Now, don't get me wrong—I still actually think it's a pretty solid game, especially for the year it was made in—hence why I'm giving it a 7/10—but GODDAMN, they needed to hire some more playtesters, or something. because the level of challenge was simply excessive. There's no other way to put it. You probably wouldn't expect such a friendly looking game to be this troublesome, but you haven't the faintest fucking clue until you've tried it yourself. I dare you.

Twisted Metal (1995) - 6/10
: I've never played a vehicular combat game before, so this would be my first one. I thought it was okay—definitely not terrible, but not necessarily my cup of tea, either. I was looking forward to hearing some cool licensed music, but apparently, they didn't started doing that until the third installment... so, instead, we just get this cheesy-ass off-brand butt metal, and the sound design in general is pretty awful. The game itself is... decently fun, I guess, but gets old quick. It was interesting to learn that Sweet Tooth is NOT the name of the series clown mascot—his name is Needles Kane, whereas Sweet Tooth is the name of the ice cream truck that he drives. My character of choice was Mr. Grimm—the only character in the game badass enough to take a motorcycle to a demolition derby.

Yu-Gi-Oh! Forbidden Memories - 2/10
: Like Rayman, this is another "milestone" game of sorts—or... what's the negative equivalent of a milestone? Anyway, I believe I declared the original Persona to be the worst game I had ever beaten once I finished it in March—but once again, I already have a new one.

This game is another childhood demon of mine that I decided returning to essentially at random, because I've already been playing a bunch of other PS1 titles anyway—I figured, with my big adult brain, I would be able to make short work of this.

Holy fucking shit, I've never been so wrong about anything in my life.

I don't know how to explain how shitty this game is without going over how much it butchers the Yu-Gi-Oh! card game, which I really don't want to do, so I'll just leave it at this—the game renders the game of Yu-Gi-Oh! down to its absolute boilerplate: Attack your opponent with monsters that have big numbers on them. That's PRETTY MUCH all you do. The problem is, when you're playing the game's story mode, you only gets cards with small numbers on them. How do you get cards with big numbers, you ask? At first, you can fuse your cards together to make cards that are kinda useful for the early part of the game, but those fusions will start to wane in their usefulness when facing stronger opponents. The only other way to get better cards is to keep winning duels. By winning duels, you are prized with one—singular—card. This card, roughly speaking, has a 90% chance of being absolutely worthless, a 9% chance of being maybe somewhat useful, and a 1% chance of being strong. You need to build a deck with strong cards if you want to beat the game—have fun grinding.

I am legitimately disturbed in the head for taking the time to beat this. I don't know what's wrong with me—and I am just giving you a barebones analysis what this game is like. I haven't even mentioned that there's no card ranking system, so it's possible for your opponent to just straight-up summon a Blue-Eyes Whtie Dragon (or stronger) out of the blue on the first fucking turn, and you MUST figure out how to deal with it. There's no way around it.

The game has two cool things going for it—an amazing OST and the ability to watch all ~700 monsters battle each other in 3D (the low-poly models and animations are rather poor, but that just adds to the charm, in my opinion).

The most offensive feature of the game, to me, is the feature that could've been its BEST feature. You see, there's a password feature in this game—at first, I thought they were just secret codes for rare and powerful cards for people who just wanna cheat. But no, it's actually a way to import your real world cards into the game by inputting the ID numbers printed at the bottom left corner of each card. These passwords don't just give you the cards for free, however—you still need to pay a certain number of star chips (earned through winning lots and lots of duels) to add those cards to your collection.

I'm thinking, how cool is that? If you have a physical copy of Blue-Eyes White Dragon in your collection, you'll be able to have it in Forbidden Memories, as well, without having to endlessly grind for it... but here's the catch: Every single card that is remotely worthwhile to use in Forbidden Memories costs just one short of ONE MILLION STAR CHIPS. The most star chips you can earn by winning duels is five, so in order to afford one of these premium cards (that you should already own), you would need to win about 200,000 duels. By the end of my playthrough, I played around 500 total, and I wanted to fucking kill myself—so the fact that they would bar you from getting decent cards in this way is pretty unforgivable.

This is a cruel, nihilistic hellspawn of a game that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy—well, maybe I would—but I certainly wouldn't wish it on any Yu-Gi-Oh! fans.

Thankfully, the game's direct sequel, The Duelists of the Roses, wound up being a substantial improvement, and one of my favorite PS2 games. Avoid Forbidden Memories at all costs—it's the first game I've ever regretted beating.

this month, i'm definitely going out of my way to play some games that i KNOW i'll enjoy, such as ocarina of time and mgs1, because i need a break from the bullshit i put myself through here

The Flood / Re: Which Sep7 people have you met irl, if any?
« on: April 18, 2022, 10:54:50 AM »
but yeah, hopefully the guy hasn't done anything drastic or whatever

The Flood / Re: Which Sep7 people have you met irl, if any?
« on: April 18, 2022, 10:53:09 AM »
Haven't remembered Elegiac in years, couldn't stand him.
He seemed alright to me on bnet and early sep7 but most of our interactions were mainly making fun of Sapphire. Def turned into a weirdo after that for no reason.
i like to think it all began with someone here calling him a dingo

Serious / Re: The Biden Presidency
« on: April 12, 2022, 03:30:21 PM »
>The Constitution is an outdated piece of paper and we need to abolish it for [insert temporary political outrage here]
>NOOOO you can't secede from the Union! The Constitution says you have to stay trapped with us! It's the supreme law of the land!
if you had a headache, would you take an aspirin, or would you cut your head off

if you wouldn't cut your head off, does that mean you think headaches are good

Serious / Re: The Biden Presidency
« on: April 12, 2022, 03:02:12 PM »

Where's my Biden Bux? I don't care if he sniffs children's hair, just give me my NEET dollars.
Nooooooooo! Biden isn't a sex offender!! Trump is! Trump said to grab them by the pussy!  Ignore the part where he said that they let him because he's rich, rich man bad! Capitalism bad! My parents don't love me!
woah! i just witnessed the epic ownage of all libtards and the total exoneration of donald trump in one banger of a sep7agon post
that was fucking epic, dude!

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