Quote from: E on April 08, 2021, 10:50:36 PM

Pardon my killing time for a bit. Surprised you never changed your stance on mods Verb(minus the half hearted jest here).

Popped into my head recently while idlely thinking how many ways you can technically poke holes in the mods r bad motto you carry via asking questions.

when it comes to mods, i've changed my stance insofar as i care significantly less when other people do it—so long as they're not trying to tell ME to do it, because that would be obnoxious

the least offensive mods to me are those that fix game-breaking bugs, and add functionalities like netplay to games that didn't previously have them (such as Super Smash Bros. Melee), or anything installed after you've already beaten the vanilla game at least once

but even with the former category, that's getting into a sketchy territory on the basis that it shouldn't be up to the players, on principle, to fix your broken-ass game for you—and don't get me started on "lore-friendly" mods, which are, more often than not, far from it

anything that defies developer intentions is an obvious no-go, but even things outside of that still rub me the wrong way, just because i've always valued having an authentic experience with a game

i'm not out here, like most people, playing games strictly for entertainment purposes—i'm out here to figure out what the best games ever made are, because i actually think of games as works of art worthy of critical evaluation, and part of a good critical evaluation is coming to the understanding that a game's flaws make up an important aspect of what that game is at its core, in the same way that a movie's flaws are an important aspect of what makes the movie what it is—and yet, we don't really see people modifying movies very often (although i'm sure there's some weirdos who do that—solonoid just posted an edit of GvK, but stuff like that is pretty outside of the norm)

being able to face up to those flaws, rather than trying to sweep them under the rug with a mod, will allow you to have a stronger grasp of what your tastes are, what the best games for you are, and what kinds of flaws and issues you're willing to put up with in order to play an otherwise fun game—and then, rather than modding those problems out, the best solution is to find a similar game that doesn't have that flaw, and then you won't have to mod anything (because you shouldn't have to—games should just be good out of the box)

now, granted, i do understand now more than ever that 99% of gamers just don't give a fuck about anything to do with what i just said, and just wanna have their dumb fun doing all kinds of stupid shit in their video games, because video games are strictly an entertainment medium for them—and i'm able to concede, at this point in my life, that that's probably fine

i still have a different perspective, though, and i think my way of thinking tends to lead to more fulfilling gameplay experiences—my vanilla skyrim may not be as fun to play as your ultra-modified version of it, but for me, part of a game's fun factor is having the opportunity to experience, discuss, and criticize its imperfections, which you'll miss out on entirely if you decide to mod those imperfections out (whether you care or not)

i don't think any of these thoughts should be controversial or unreasonable—i'm not saying anyone needs to agree with me by any means, but in order to understand where i'm coming from even more, think back to how george lucas likes to keep editing the original star wars movies

regardless of how strongly you feel about the edited star wars films, there's a good chance that you probably disagree with lucas's decision to make these alterations—but why?

probably for the same exact reasons that i don't like modifying games

Glad I get something interesting to ponder and talk about today. Apologies about the possible length. Broad subject to talk about. My intent isn't criticism. But I like analysis. It's an interesting take you've got. But I spot possible holes in your foundations.

Really, where this duscussion stems from was some humor of mine some time back. I got into modding skyrim a little while ago. When I started it, I joked to myself that I ended up on your "people who belong in hell list" for having trangressed upon your moral tenants. Something interesting happened on two fronts as I learned more about modding. I thought about your particular ideals, and I also thought about why I was downloading mods and experimenting as I refined a list of what mods I liked and didn't like, while working with the constraints of console limitations because I'm a peasant.

Let's start by going backwards. I don't particularily care for Lucas's edits because it's just what I refer to as fluff. It's extra for the sake of extra, and it doesn't really add to the core content of the movies. So, for the same reason I don't care for the edits, I'm very picky on what mods I dump on skyrim, because I'm not after "fluff," I'm focused on refinement, as in, taking what's already there and making some additions to that so that what's already there is honed to it's maximum.

Although you're absolutely right, part of the enjoyment in games or media comes from studying strengths and weaknesses. The hole in your reasoning here though is the assumption that we miss out on discussing or experiencing the weaknesses. The core reason I see for many mods being made is because people are aware of a weakness to begin with, but they've taken it a step further into their own hands to fix what they percieve as a weakness. That doesn't negate your view though. I think both are valid for different reasons.

This also stretches onto your thinking of mods acting as a rug sweeper rather than facing up to flaws. I can easily invert that line of thinking and say that when people mod(depending on why of course), they also gain refined knowledge of what they want to see in their games and their tastes about things. They actually like the game enough to put more effort and care into it rather than ditching it for another game down the road that fullfills stuff from the start. And that's because no two games are ever truly alike. Even rip-off games, although clearly being a rip-off, generate different feelings for the player.

The statement about games being good out of the box is also highly counter-intuitive if we're taking your line of reasoning as a stance. If games should just be good out of the box, then there's not much point left in critisizing their flaws, because if devs were extremely focused on "good," there would be little left to discuss or face up to in terms of flaws. However, I know that objectively there's a line somewhere between actual quality development and poor development. Ideally, yes, it'd be peachy if games being released were good out of the box.

I'd also agree that you shouldn't have to mod a game to make it better. But you know, in my time spent listening to mod communities, many people aren't doing the modding because they feel like they have to. They do it for fun, for their own various reasons. In that sense they've gone a bit past the average gamer who plays shit just for fun. They've taken their appreciation or dissatisfaction to an entirely new level.

Another spot you missed. You still are playing games for entertainment purposes. Even if you're not playing the game itself strictly for entertainment alone, your enjoyment comes from analyising the game at an artisitc level and lense. Very much like certain modders, you've taken what you enjoy to another level with you.

And as for movies, I can give you that one, but only half. But only because the ability to edit movies is more difficult than modding. I think that if some new app or tech came out that allowed people to edit movies to the level that you can with games, you'd have a "movie modder" community in no time.

Theoretically they already exist. Ever stumble across music videos on youtube coined as "multi-fandom" Verb? People taking clips from dozens of movies and editing them together into a composite work to tell their own story or create their own feeling? Most are simplistic, others knock it out of the park. Can't forget the meme edits of movies too. Granted those are micro edits, and not the entire movie, but it's the same principle. Some mods alter micro sections of a game.

I will acknowledge the downside of mods though, although it's heavily dual. It is a shame that devs use mod intergration as a means of putting the work into their games to make them run better by letting the communities do the work. But on the other hand, it's also... inspiring I guess, because in those instances it's the communities's manifestation of just how much they love their fandom.

You talk about art, Verb. At its core, art is about emotions, ideas, and expression in any form. I won't say that what all modders do is art. But what some of them do on principle is the same principle as art. They manifest emotions into something. And in reality, some of what they do is art. I've played a few quest mods in skyrim done by the fans. And some of them are either so seamless they either fit into the game like they were there all along, or they tell a unique and thoughtful or just plain up awesome story. And that could have never happened had the game not been modded, because those micro-developers chose that game as a base to tell their story.

I'm certainly not ragging on you that you enjoy an authentic experience. But even that falls on shady ground Verb. What defines an authentic game experience for you? If the devs release a patch to fix an issue, or like they did in the old days, an expansion pack on another disc, does that ruin the baseline authentic experience for you? Or does it just still count as the authentic experience solely because it's the devs who did it?

And if that's the case, why does the title of developer enable so much possible leeway? The only difference between a developer and a modder is that they weren't hired by a conglomorate of people working under a unified name and getting paid for it.

And lastly. Here's some food for thought Verb. I recently watched a Dark Souls challenge video. The game was modded so that every single enemy was replaced with Gwyn. I both laughed my ass off and was superbly inpressed by the guy's devotion to beat the game at that level, especially the starting area. You yourself would never mod the game to do that, and neither would I. And yet through modding I got to witness that absolute spectacle and enjoyed every minute of it.

Again Verb, I'm not arguing that you change your stance because I can indeed understand it. But in certain instances, I can understand why mods are a thing as well. They're the exact same manifestaion of why you treat games like art, but taken in a different direction due to psychology.

I've a bit of a theory. Ever notice how most modders are dudes? I'd say eight out of ten are dudes. (Not just for the big titty mods either). Specifically the ones who fix stuff or try to enhance things. I think why modding in certain circles has cropped up is because it appeals primarily to male psychology and instincts. When you compare men to women, on average men are naturally more inclined to fix, create, or enhance something. I think modding, to a degree is an expression of this average innate trait.

But that's enough for me. Like I said. Not trying to convince you, just offer some thoughts on an intriguing subject.

Speaking of nut here's some great cursed shit.

I don't know if you wanted school themed stuff or not. I don't got none of that.

I was never a huge fan of cities or dense populations. I still don't like them, but I've mellowed out on how hardline my stance is. I kind of miss being an anonymous passerby. I could just put my headphones on, walk around and stop somewhere, talk to people, hear some interesting stuff, and then take my leave.

I also miss all night places. None of those in the countryside unless you want to deal with drunk hicks. Rather than being unable to sleep in the city and stewing myself to death at night in slow burning misery, I could just go out and have a coffee somewhere. Talk to the other late nighters, or the waitresses and waiters that got to know my face.

If you'd like a joke, I thought I wouldn't like continued living.

Kinda wanted to take one last look at my first profile before the nuke, but I never got around to it. Too bad.

You're just the master of procrastination aren't you. Memory's dim on that one, but how the hell'd you get into Halo in the first place? Or did you just stumble onto the bungie forums and just make a home there?

Nut Busta, please respond.

I've got a line to him. I checked yesterday. He's doing okay. (Least as okay as he can be) I trust the line I've got, and they've not said that anything else is up today, but I'll be checking up in a bit. Let ya know what's up.

I've got a bit of time before I hit the road.

I'll tell you straight up, don't pursue the fantasy of abandoning everything. You'll end up like I did. Don't isolate yourself or alienate yourself. The more you do, the deeper you're going to spiral. If anything, talking to those that will listen will help.

And if you want my earnest opinion, it's a good thing that the facade's down and that people know something is up. Facades don't do anything worthwhile for anybody. If the price is that nobody believes you, then it's their problem and not yours. You actually know how much certain people care for you at that rate. The ones that actually give a fuck about ya will try to help you, like your fiance. At least now, everything is open and out on the table. You don't have to hide anything, which is a weight gone in itself.

That has to happen if you're going to get out of this. You've gotta be real with yourself, and you've got to be real with the people that are close to you in life. No facades.

I also think you're being too hard on yourself. Think about it. You bump into somebody else who you know is going through the same stuff you are. Would you be as harsh with them as you would be yourself? Probably not.

And I get it. I understand the tiredness, and I understand the rage. The rage is important. That you still have that means something very important. Most of all, you've got a means to do something. If you do it right, rage is a motivator if you control it and you aim it at something.

You're tired of your state? Of being in such a shit condition. Can't find a job? Then fuck it. Tell all of it to go to hell. Tell your condition to go to hell, and get up and use that rage to move and do things. You'll find a job if you search, and keep trying. Take that rage and turn it back inwards. Not at yourself, but at being trapped, stuck in this useless shit. Treat your conditions and your state of mind like it's the enemy. You going to let your enemy walk all over you and just do what it pleases? Or are you going to make damn sure you tell it to go fuck itself even if it kills you?

I'm outta time. I'll be back.

Quote from: E on February 28, 2021, 06:00:34 PM

And you're beating yourself up for nothing too. Be real about this. You still got family. They're all still alive back where you left em. You're still alive to see them.

You might feel like an ass if you can get back to them. You might feel like an ass just telling them what happened. But they're still there for you, even if you goofed. Ideally, that's what family is. And you really didn't goof from the sounds of it. You met assholes, both corporate and bums on the street. That's not your fault.

Ask yourself a question. Is right now on par with the worst day you've ever had in your life? If it's not, you can beat it. And if it is, then try anyway.

I can only offer one more bit of commentary in the meantime. You've got a girlfriend that gives a shit about you and cares about you. And it sounds like she cares enough about you to help you out. Just go back to her, man. Tell her you're sorry, you tried, and you love her. If she's a decent human being who really gives a fuck about you she'll stand by you. That alone should be enough to get you back up.

Put the ashamed feelings and the desperation aside because they're not going to do you any good. Get up and fight it. Make you a deal. If you can weather the shit that's hitting you right now, then I'm willing to try to keep fighting the shit that's hitting me right now. Come on. You can do it.

I'm just tired of this, Q. I was in a bad place before this garbage, and now I'm in an even worse spot. I can't eat, I sleep maybe three hours a day because all I dream of is dying, and I don't know what the fuck I should do. The fantasy of abandoning everything is becoming more of a necessity because no one I know really understands. I've alienated myself, and the one person who I thought might understand now just thinks of me as some pill junkie looking for kicks. My own fucking dad OD'd, I refuse ALL pills, but he doesn't see that. No one (except you) believes in me. I'm basically a walking corpse, with the façade I've given them shattered.

I just don't know what to do anymore. No one will hire me, no one trusts me, and I'm basically a stranger in a strange land. My fiancé wants me to see someone, but all they do is push fucking pills. I've had sixteen years of that shit to know that's exactly what's going to happen, and I refuse. I don't want to hear "you just haven't found the right one" anymore. I want to be stable, I want to feel something other than suicidal depression or boiling rage at my own inability to feel the former. I want to be fucking normal.

It just feels like I'm broken, with no way out.

Tell ya something. I brought some flowers out to the marker on my property for my SO for valentines. I sat down and I talked to her. I remember looking out at the sky, and I realized I haven't heard her voice in nine years. And that made me tired. Really tired. Like I got up afterwards and I was just empty. And not just that, but I was fully aware of just how much there's a part of me that still wants to die. To just quit. It was like the full weight of how long I'd been carrying this hit me in full, and it just knocked me down. The only thing stopping me from not eating and just starving myself in bed was the promises I made to past friends, and to her. So when I say that I'm tired, I mean it.

Right now I can't see a future ahead of me. But I have my jobs to do. Family needs me and a couple friends out here count on me. If I can make their day, give them something, that's enough. And maybe, depending on how or if I find a way to deal with this new situation in my head, I won't have to worry about not seeing a future ahead. But that's me. Let's get to your side of the fence.

I get it about the pills. I've developed immunity to at least two kinds of anti-depressents. And the problem with all doctors these days is that they push the pills, but they don't give you solutions to what's causing the problems in your life. The pills might actually work for upping you for a while. But if you don't solve the shit that's causing issue in your life then they're useless for the time that they give the boost to you.

How they should be applied is such. You take them, they give you a boost, and in that boosted state you solve issues in your life and fix shit. And then when that's settled and you build up more immunity, you go off the pills and you become stable on your own. So if I were to suggest anything, don't write off the pills entirely. But before you do anything at all with them, you need to understand the components of why your life is not working properly.

I've got a lot to write out to you because I've got a lot of ideas, but I need some time to put them together. So I'm gonna do my stuff today, and I'm gonna think about it. I'll write more later tonight.

Here's some loose ideas for you. You've got trouble talking. If you trust me enough, let me talk to your fiance. I can explain things to her. That's only if you feel like there's gaps in communication with her. One of the things that will help you out is communication, and if you start communicating with her, that will help. If not communication, she needs a better understanding of what your situation is.

The second loose idea is this. You're down in Utah. You're not far from the canadian border, specifically saskatchewan. If you've got a passport and enough money, you can camp out in canada for a period of six months if you get a visa or working visa. Assuming they'd let you through with covid, if you could find a way to get into Saskatchewan, I'd help you.

I don't have much for contacts in utah, probably zero to be honest, but I could help you with the job searching. The wonders of the internet and word of mouth, right?

But that's all for now. I'll get back to you later tonight, promise.

Quote from: E on February 19, 2021, 10:22:26 PM

Quote from: SecondClass on February 19, 2021, 05:14:46 AM

Quote from: E on February 19, 2021, 01:19:30 AM

Gods be with yee. Customer service is always a fuckin' nightmare.

I love customer service what are you talking about

Any job I can sit a a desk all day and do no manual labor is a good job

Quote from: Coomer on February 19, 2021, 02:50:13 AM

How much do you get paid

I start at $13

I've never had a customer service job that didn't make me want to tie a noose and do a backflip off the chair. Guess it depends on the clientele. Only time people weren't total assholes was when I was painting houses, just picky, which is okay.

Guess we're opposites on that front. Couldn't pay me to sit round all day. Have to keep moving otherwise I'll start getting depressed. If you rolled an okay CS job, then count yourself lucky and hope it's not just a calm before the storm deal.

I'd say it's less about the clientele and more about the client. That is, some people are more tailored for customer service interaction, and some are more tailored for other things.

For example, I know a lot of people who work manual labor jobs, and love the exercise, being outside, etc. Me personally, I would absolutely despise any job where I had to exert myself all day. Some people have no tolerance for bullshit and wouldn't be able to put up an amicable front to annoying customers all day. I have no problem doing that, and in fact look forward to calls to kill time and let me do stuff.

It just depends on what the person is suited for. Sorry for not responding to your PMs btw, I'll get to them soon I just don't go on the internet as much as I used to.

All good. Just leaving you a heads up. I'm gutting the interior of my truck camper to insulate it for the winter and refurbish it. I've got a trailer being built that can support the camper without bottoming out the shocks over a few years. This stuff'll all be coming together in the next month or so.

I'm striking up a deal with my workplace to see if I can live in their parking lot like a typical homeless millenial. It'll save me a lot of gas money and travel time, and probably a lot of wear on my heart which can't afford the beat downs anymore. Only catch is parking lots don't have internet. So I'll likely be going dark for long stretches of time unless I want to haul my sorry ass and a labtop to a tim hortons or something.

Depending on when I next hop around, take care of yourself Class. Don't be a shit person and don't let whatever shit you got behind you rule your life. Good luck out there.

Lockdown extended till April 18th.

Send help.
I haven't seen my friends for a year now. Haven't seen my grandparents for over a year.
There were some reports that this was not a bat but some experiment gone wrong since the alleged Wuhan wet market did not actually sell bats and also the other SARS coronavirus variants were not as potent and could not evolve so fast from SARS of 2018/2019.
Whatever caused it, its a poopy-doody and I don't like it.

There's been suspicions for a while now that corona was active long before China had its outbreaks, and that it didn't originate in China. I know the year before cooties showed up, some weird ass cold(with a hell of a lot of symtoms lining up to cooties) passed through some communities out here and caused surprise deaths due to pneumonia. I picked the damn thing up and it just about had me hospitalized with what it did to my lungs.

Course there's a lot of theories about it being tampered with as well, or spread on purpose even if it was naturally occurring. Either way guess it's around now. Just wish the governments would stop acting like a bunch of fuckwits in their policies and pretending they give a fuck when they had their chance at the beginning of this shit and they did nothing.

Gods be with yee. Customer service is always a fuckin' nightmare.

I hope you're ready for some text. I'm going to cite two times in my life where I was at my lowest both physically and mentally. The first case was the winter after my significant other was killed. She was one of the only truly decent aspects I had going to my life. There was a future and plans there. All of it got ripped away and that pulled out the one hope I ever had in my life about anything. Compounded with all the other years of bullshit I'd gone through, it all caught up to me. Did a bit of tracking, swiped a shotgun from a farmstead I scoped out, and went off into the woods to kill myself on the coldest night during the winter.

The second time was a few years ago. Let a friend's ashes blow out to sea in Quebec. I made the wrong moves and swiped cash from the wrong person. Got my ass beat to shit by hell's angels bikers. At that point I was wanting to die as well. But I got back up. Put a splint on my leg, was as careful as I could be with what I knew or felt was fractured, and I walked back to the opposite coastline. I started trying again, sorting my shit out, and making plans. The initial time I tried to kill myself after my SO died, I made a promise to her that I'd never let it beat me. That I'd never bend again and that I'd get back up no matter what.

I treat this line of thought as a hypothetical. If I had to go through those bikers again, get my ass beat and busted up to be the half cripple I am today, if it could get the person I loved back, would I do it? Yes. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. Therefore that extends to my life in principle as well. If there's nothing I wouldn't do for her, then there's nothing I can't do for myself either. She'd want me to get my ass up and fight. She'd want me to learn how to be happy again, and undo or sort my baggage, and re-learn or discover the emotional parts of myself that are burnt out and missing. She'd want me to be alive again, like I felt when she was around. I also have my family to help and protect. To me their happiness is paramount. It's my job to protect them and help them until something kills me. I can't do my job if I'm dead or I'm a depressed wreck.

The point to all of that is, of course life doesn't mean shit to you if you can't feel it, or you feel like you have nothing. But you can always restart from zero. You can start again from nothing. Mainly, what you need to ask yourself is why you aren't happy currently? What feels wrong in your life, and how do you think it got this way? That's where you start at least. When you have that, then you can start thinking about what you can do to change it.

And it's not about asking why. When you ask why, in your condition the only answer you'll get is "I shouldn't bother." What you should be asking is how. How do I get out of this situation?

Pffffffft, I tried testing the articulation in the legs and the right leg just popped right off.

What a fucking joke.

Does this mean it goes into the cum tribute pile?

Quote from: MarKhan on February 07, 2021, 12:52:39 PM

Quote from: Busta Nut on February 07, 2021, 04:33:27 AM

Quote from: FatherlyNick 🇷🇺 on February 06, 2021, 05:43:04 AM

Its all just bots posting at this stage. We are all phantoms in Cheat's mind.

Truly ghosts in the machine at this point. Cheat hasn't posted since Christmas, and that's our site admin lol.

Cheat is in pain

Terrible terrible pain.

I'm actually swamped with work. Have to dose myself with edibles most week nights just to sleep because of the anxiety.

I plan on continuing v3 eventually but yeah... lack of motivation after debugging this work project's dumpster fire repository. Can't say much because of non disclosures, but this internal project I got attached to wasn't planned well, wasn't commented, and has constant cascading compile- and run-time errors I can feel my sanity slipping every time I have to interact with it.

Stay away from Angular's Firebase library, kids.

But this is fine.

It really is a staple hallmark of coders and website engies to have their sanity undone isn't it.

So what happens if Cheat just dies one day and money stops funding this place's upkeep and it just goes offline out of the blue?

Considering I'm a high school dropout the subjects weren't complicated. Hard to pick one favorite because I loved science and english in equal measure. I was always god fucking awful at math, but I don't think I hated it, just the way it was taught. I find that if I'm actually left to do mathematical calculations on my own, I pick them up decent enough, but only if they're for a subject of interest.