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Messages - E
511
« on: May 25, 2020, 06:25:48 AM »
It'd be illogical to hate the entirety of life so I never developed the habit other than disliking parts of my own life.
512
« on: May 22, 2020, 12:20:27 PM »
You too huh. My flatscreen got gravity'd by my fat ass fucking cat this morning and now it's finished.
rip cat.
Fat bastard's been through a lot with me. He's worth far more than the TV.
513
« on: May 22, 2020, 12:02:17 PM »
You too huh. My flatscreen got gravity'd by my fat ass fucking cat this morning and now it's finished.
514
« on: May 22, 2020, 11:41:33 AM »
Is it obvious yet that I keep hesitating to start practicing bodies?
Just do it. Start with rough sketchy shapes, and don't worry about refining the image. It's fine if it looks like complete shit.
Just remember, loose and sketchy. Using basic shapes can help a lot too.
It's not actually that I'm too worried about the sketches being shitty. I can draw bodies decently well as long as I have a reference (obviously still nowhere near perfect). It's just that the task of practicing new things in general seems really tedious and tbh depression is really screwing with my motivation to do anything productive, but that's how it goes I guess.
I'm actually going to try to suck it up and commit to drawing at least one full body pose a day. Hopefully other circumstances won't wreck my determination as they have been for a while now.
I may have a workaround for the hitch up. Don't think of it as practice. I'll tell you why. I've posted a few bits of my work here, and if you've seen them, you may be surprised to know that I personally can't draw for shit, moderate at best. My work is the result of over a decade of experimentation and combining all of my favorite digital mediums together into one piece. I use 3d rendering programs and models, stitched real world photography, and a few custom scripts and brushes I made to distort and recombine all of my images together into one thing. It's all actually a very big process when I get going. Imagine what it was like for me when I didn't know anything and I was teaching myself how to do all of this for the first time. I learned how to do all of this through practice, of course, but I didn't view it as practice. To me, I wanted to nail the imagery I imagined. Every time I made a new image, it was my chance to push my abilities and knowledge further and get one step closer to achieving my desired result. I think if you start to view it as simply practice, you add rigormoral to the process, which sucks the fun out of what you do. Of course, art is a balance between rigor and fun. When you work, don't think too much of the technical details. Just focus on doing. Making something come alive and captivating. You'll learn as you work anyway.
515
« on: May 20, 2020, 09:02:55 PM »
what does “deserve” have to do with it?
exactly—it doesn't, and that's one of the biggest problems i have with reality
there's people in japan who literally drop dead trying to make an honest living so they can pursue their happiness, and then you have junkies who've never worked a day in their lives who cheat at life and feel good anyway for putting nothing in
so if deservingness has nothing to do with it, why bother earning anything in life? why not just be a druggie, then
and before you say it, i'm not trying to say that going to the gym is the same thing as abusing drugs—i'm just saying, going to the gym is just another form of mindless self-indulgence to me. it's gross, and i don't like anything about it
everyone deserves to be happy in a vacuum, but not in a world where everyone doesn't get to be happy
Maybe I've missed a finer line here, but your argument lies with the failure of human mechanisms rather than reality itself. Druggies exist because the drug pushers exist. They get a free ride through society only because society likes to think of itself as moral and tries to help these "poor" people. The very same can be said of the japanese worker who drops dead on the job. He dropped dead because he lives in a society and a culture that allows it to happen. Life itself didn't dictate that. People did. They made the decisions that led them to that end. Reality itself is actually very simple. Survive or don't. That's it. The complications of happiness and unhappiness arise only because people are idiots, and they build systems that needlessly complicate things and are built to be abused. And if it's a question of deservingness? It's not. Nobody inherently deserves shit. Why bother earning anything then if deserving it isn't a factor? It's subjective to the individual who wants something. Everybody alive wants something by default. And as long as you're alive, you get what you want if you have the intelligence, the drive, and the necessary implements to achieve it. What you also get are the consequences that come with wanting anything and making the choices that lead to it. For example, you say that druggies get a free ride. They "cheat." You're only looking at the very minimal positives he achieves. Handouts from society and powerful highs from drugs that only last for so long before his body's adaptive nature weakens the highs. In return for having the easy life what does he get? Addiction cravings, diseases, conditions, mental degredation, homelessnes. He inherits absolute despair and a self destructive spiral that only eventually leads to one end. Druggies haven't cheated life. Not at all. If you've gone to any of the major cities out in the world and actually walked amongst their population, out in their hubs and major gatherings, you'd see that these people more often than not exist in a state of despair so deep that you can't even understand how they're alive. They live in a literal hell of their own making half the time.
516
« on: May 20, 2020, 02:14:48 PM »
Honestly, sometimes I wish we lived in perfect world where unsolvable problems wouldn't exist. But then humanity as it is now would not exist either.
Unsolvable problems don't exist. It couldn't even be classified as a problem if its counterpart didn't exist. The only type of problem that exists is one where the solution hasn't been found yet.
517
« on: May 20, 2020, 01:01:35 AM »
"the most broad question: at what point ought one call into question how they identify themselves, or define themselves by external subjects?"
Lastly before I drop into a sleep coma. Always. Always question your framework. When you settle into framework of identity you inevitably imprison yourself from new data coming in that alters how the game works. New data is always coming in. If you don't adapt, you stagnate mentally.
518
« on: May 20, 2020, 12:58:31 AM »
I only have a few minutes to reply so I can only pick one line. "How strongly should we consider the argument of "othered" persons or groups?"
I don't think it's so much a question of how strongly we should consider arguments made by anybody. It's a question of whether or not said argument has any foundation in logic whatsoever. That should always first and foremost be considered. Only after you've established that an argument has valid roots in logic can you proceed to actually weigh how strongly it's taken into account.
519
« on: May 17, 2020, 03:28:31 AM »
I'd probably be the first person to say that both sides of the trans train tracks aren't what they emulate, at least biologically. But for the sake of simplicity and fairness, I'd call either person by what they choose to address themselves as. That seems pretty simple to me and anything beyond that makes things needlessly complicated.
This article falls victim to what many various communities and movements are today in that they're folding into themselves and attacking each other. It's all one big victim show or an exercise in veiled hatred and insanity. It's a crock of shit and my life's timespan was wasted in reading that mental vomit.
Don't even get me started on the men can't understand women horseshit. I knew my significant other for seven years. I knew her head inside and out and vice versa. We knew what each other were thinking and regularily completed each other's sentences. We both knew what each other were feeling even if we were apart. And I knew her so god damn well that even eleven years after she died, I know exactly what she'd say about something if she were here with me today. I know how she'd feel.
It's a shit article and it's real simple. You can't have both. Trans men and women are considered what they emulate, or they don't. You can't selectively cut out one side.
520
« on: May 15, 2020, 12:39:25 AM »
tbh I'm not really sure what the question is
how would you cope with being an unwilling sex slave if your life depended on it
thanks for clarifying
just move forward?
I was in this exact situation like two years ago. I saved like a grand, packed my shit, and left while nobody was watching.
I try not to think about it, and I don't think it really gives me any trouble.
Then again, that's not the worst thing that has ever happened to me by far, so I'm not sure how the average person would cope.
what's the worst thing
I don't know exactly, it's hard to actually quantify and grade negative experiences
maybe the first time I was molested as a kid, or some other example of abuse from my childhood
adulthood has been tough, and I've had nowhere to live and nothing to eat more than once, I've been to jail for things I did and did not do, though the only time it was something I actually did I was stealing food from the supermarket
the town I found myself living on the streets of after high school wasn't big, and they didn't have resources for feeding the homeless or shelters for those other than battered women, it still has a big homelessness problem today
my dad sued me for eviction when I was 18. I was still in high school. I posted about it on here five years ago, and that has definitely led to a life that was not easy to get off on the right foot in
that's actually how I found myself trading sex for a place to live
I've been robbed and taken advantage of loads of times, but I really think that whatever the absolute worst thing is, it has to have been in my childhood
as an adult, at least I have options for recourse and a complete understanding of what's going on
I'm trying to think of how I can phrase things here. More expansively, what order to phrase things. I guess I'll start with why I've always liked the internet for one decent facet. People and their stories.(assuming you can find the true ones) All I can really say is that I understand. I haven't walked your shoes but I've had a lot of hard days. My youth was filled with homelessness and drifting from place to place. My parents were shit and both dead in my life quite early, I made plenty of mistakes without them or in spite of them, and went through a lot of events beyond my control as a child/teenager. My days now are largely empty and shit with a few bright exceptions. One of them being that at least I know that a good ninety percent of my life is in my hands now. It's just nice to bump into somebody who's seen some shit and shit accessories. It gets old bumping into people on the net with their vapid problems or woes that aren't really issues at all, just delusional neuroticism taken to the max.
521
« on: May 13, 2020, 11:34:00 AM »
I never understood people who hated a map so much that they close out the entire game.
Did you never play on Snowbound?
Never could understand the fervent hate for that map. The Covenant building interiors made for some pretty decent CQC fights.
It's nothing special but I wouldn't go sperging out a game over it.
I've got a theory about map-quitters. I think it's both a combination of over saturation and negative reinforcement for some people. I mean, there's some maps that are great to play on, but I wouldn't want to play them like ten times in a row. The negative reinforcement aspect comes into play from bad experiences. Most ragers I ever met were always usually pissed over their shit teammates or for playing on a map were they constantly got shit on. Personally, I groaned a little bit every time Guardian came up and you saw the other team vote for it because I automatically knew what it was going to be about. The other team was probably either as skilled as me and my buddies, or they were just plain better. The map would then devolve into a total lockdown fight and become absolutely tedious to play. Now imagine having to do it over and over again successive times in a row with very little change in outcome. Video games psychologically play very powerfully on positive reinforcement, but the same is true on negative. For somebody who is less emotionally stable, that's were we see the emergence of rage quitters.
522
« on: May 13, 2020, 11:22:41 AM »
That does look pretty damn stellar. The most important question obviously is, does it have loot boxes?
523
« on: May 13, 2020, 11:19:07 AM »
The province I currently reside in is undergoing it's wonderful five step plan to open up the floodgates and throw away the only advantage it had. Eugh. Time to get in my truck and fuck off to Nunavut. I think it's still the only province in Canada with zero confirmed cases.
This is like in zombie movies when outsiders try to get into the safe zone and end up infecting everyone
Apparantly Nunavut takes their zero cases seriously enough to close and enforce their borders to any outside provinces.
524
« on: May 12, 2020, 11:18:06 PM »
It's the staff's job. Generally if they found the broken item, they get the joys of putting up a sign and doing lockout/tagout paperwork and informing the manager.
525
« on: May 12, 2020, 03:10:44 AM »
The province I currently reside in is undergoing it's wonderful five step plan to open up the floodgates and throw away the only advantage it had. Eugh. Time to get in my truck and fuck off to Nunavut. I think it's still the only province in Canada with zero confirmed cases.
526
« on: May 12, 2020, 03:05:20 AM »
I don't know whether to be sad or amused that I spent my lunch break reading through this entire thread.
527
« on: May 12, 2020, 03:02:35 AM »
Not to beat a dead horse dude, but if that's you, it's uncanny how much you look like one of the hardcore druggies that occasionally visits one of the stores I work at. I almost wonder if it's because of the drugs that there's such a resemblance.
528
« on: May 11, 2020, 06:02:59 PM »
apart from everybody's favorite golden anal rodeo buddies.
i'm currently on that ride right now
not as bad as i expected with +14 pyromancy flame
I didn't have the luxury of pyro when I did mine. I think I used a lightning resin buffed starting weapon. It was painful as fuck.
529
« on: May 11, 2020, 06:01:24 PM »
Nobody owns language. So yes.
However, one still owns up to consequences. Saying it in a crowd of blacks being a good idea? No.
Unless you are black.
Considering the murder rate and gang violence between blacks in the states? It honestly wouldn't surprise me if another black got murdered for using their "own" special word.
530
« on: May 11, 2020, 05:15:17 AM »
made it to anor londo. was scared to engage anyone and lose my 50k souls so i turned around and went all the way to blighttown to upgrade my pyromancer flame. the hike back is gonna be a pain.
Is Anor Londo really that bad?
The only thing really hard there is O&S and even then the fight is trivial with a lightening spear
I have no clue but I'm not allowed to spend souls on anything but pyromancy and weapon upgrades and idk what to expect in anor londo. I'm playing (somewhat) blind.
Wait
You're playing Dark Souls for the first time and you're doing a challenge run?
maybe
Take some blood pressure meds pre-emptively before doing Four Kings my dude. Even though all the bosses one shot you anyway, I think FKs gave me the most panic attacks at SL1, apart from everybody's favorite golden anal rodeo buddies.
531
« on: May 11, 2020, 05:10:34 AM »
Nobody owns language. So yes.
However, one still owns up to consequences. Saying it in a crowd of blacks being a good idea? No.
532
« on: May 11, 2020, 01:23:04 AM »
Well, mum's dead so not much. Just a mental happy mother's day while I go to work.
533
« on: May 06, 2020, 01:40:09 AM »
Ya'll need to update your definitions of what's gay. Liking the sensuality of a woman without any of the actual downsides that come with, packaged with that air of arousing mystery that comes with traps is wholeheartedly not gay. Being alive is pretty fucking gay though. That's the definition of being gay.
Would you date me E??
https://boards.4channel.org/lgbt/thread/15289645
I don't date. That and being a druggie automatically disqualifies you of any consideration on my part. My condolences.
I meant appearance dummy
Who said I let appearance call the shots for me?
534
« on: May 02, 2020, 10:23:00 PM »
why is the video unavailable
Because the holocaust never happened, of course.
535
« on: May 02, 2020, 10:22:21 PM »
Ya'll need to update your definitions of what's gay. Liking the sensuality of a woman without any of the actual downsides that come with, packaged with that air of arousing mystery that comes with traps is wholeheartedly not gay. Being alive is pretty fucking gay though. That's the definition of being gay.
“I’m not in denial because I’m not in denial”
I think you're in denial that being alive is gay, chump.
536
« on: May 02, 2020, 10:21:35 PM »
Ya'll need to update your definitions of what's gay. Liking the sensuality of a woman without any of the actual downsides that come with, packaged with that air of arousing mystery that comes with traps is wholeheartedly not gay. Being alive is pretty fucking gay though. That's the definition of being gay.
Would you date me E??
https://boards.4channel.org/lgbt/thread/15289645
I don't date. That and being a druggie automatically disqualifies you of any consideration on my part. My condolences.
537
« on: May 02, 2020, 02:10:13 AM »
Ya'll need to update your definitions of what's gay. Liking the sensuality of a woman without any of the actual downsides that come with, packaged with that air of arousing mystery that comes with traps is wholeheartedly not gay. Being alive is pretty fucking gay though. That's the definition of being gay.
538
« on: May 02, 2020, 02:04:09 AM »
May I make a funny and call diaper fetishes shit tier?
539
« on: April 28, 2020, 12:21:11 AM »
Over my time spent here I gather that you're this place's local druggie, so I'm half tempted not to take anything seriously coming outta you. But the commentary on alcohol was at least interesting, since I actually know very little about alcohol even though I waste my life working at a sobeys liquor store. My day was shit. I worked my two jobs and came home and went to sleep.
540
« on: April 28, 2020, 12:16:28 AM »
Long time ago I heard one of the devs always envisioned Chief like clint eastwood. Does that last one strike you as clint eastwood? Be pretty cool.
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