Nearly Two Weeks Ago, I was Sexually Assaulted

Alternative Facts · February 10, 2016, 01:46:32 AM

I was originally going to post this in Anarchy as an anonymous thread, but I figured that a forum with no rules likely wasn't the greatest place to share something like this. So, it's now 2:30 in the morning and I'm typing this thread up with no clear idea or direction as to where it's going to go. If you want to ask stuff or offer advice, I'll take whatever at this point.

Details are in spoilers in case you honestly don't want to read it.

Spoiler

Counselor said it was good to just write and get my emotions out of my head, so I'm doing it here. Feel privileged.

The assault happened the last weekend of January, in another dorm room on campus. The guy and I had been chatting and he invited me over to hang out and, because I'm apparently stupid, believed that he was better than he really was. So I went over to meet him and...yeah. Things kind of went downhill from there - he was trying to get me naked and his hands into my crotch as I kept saying no and to stop. Was biting at my neck and telling to relax, he'd take care of things. Only reason he stopped initially was because one of the roommates walked into the living room.

I blame myself for this, even though everyone says not to. Guess that's normal. Haven't reported it to the police, though my counselor set me up with a Title IX coordinator this week. I think that's good.

Like I said, not really sure where this thread is/was going. Might add more to it as other stuff happens, but yeah.

Mordo · February 10, 2016, 02:28:17 AM

Is that sexual assault? Sounds like the guy just groped you, no offence.

Alternative Facts · February 10, 2016, 02:35:09 AM

Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:28:17 AM

Is that sexual assault? Sounds like the guy just groped you, no offence.

Terms of legal code here in the states, yeah. Sexual assault is generally a big umbrella term used, with more specific examples and stuff under it.

Mordo · February 10, 2016, 02:39:26 AM

Quote from: Icy on February 10, 2016, 02:35:09 AM

Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:28:17 AM
Is that sexual assault? Sounds like the guy just groped you, no offence.

Terms of legal code here in the states, yeah. Sexual assault is generally a big umbrella term used, with more specific examples and stuff under it.

Oh right.

Well as shitty as your experience was, I don't really agree with your laws. Touching someone inappropriately is not at all comparable to full blown penis-in-the-orifice nonconsensual sex.

Alternative Facts · February 10, 2016, 02:42:57 AM

Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:39:26 AM

Quote from: Icy on February 10, 2016, 02:35:09 AM
Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:28:17 AM
Is that sexual assault? Sounds like the guy just groped you, no offence.

Terms of legal code here in the states, yeah. Sexual assault is generally a big umbrella term used, with more specific examples and stuff under it.
Oh right.

Well as shitty as your experience was, I don't really agree with your laws. Touching someone inappropriately is not at all comparable to full blown penis-in-the-orifice nonconsensual sex.

Which is why I didn't plan to report it.

And the legal system does have seperate charges for the various things here. It's not like there's one charge for any offense.

🂿 · February 10, 2016, 02:47:50 AM

Shit dude, that's rough. You should get a restraining order against that guy. Sexual assault is never okay.

I apologize for what happened to you.

Cindy · February 10, 2016, 03:23:54 AM

Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:39:26 AM

Quote from: Icy on February 10, 2016, 02:35:09 AM
Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:28:17 AM
Is that sexual assault? Sounds like the guy just groped you, no offence.

Terms of legal code here in the states, yeah. Sexual assault is generally a big umbrella term used, with more specific examples and stuff under it.
Oh right.

Well as shitty as your experience was, I don't really agree with your laws. Touching someone inappropriately is not at all comparable to full blown penis-in-the-orifice nonconsensual sex.

Luckily, that's rape, not sexual assault

Luciana · February 10, 2016, 03:31:40 AM

Quote from: Decimator Omega on February 10, 2016, 02:47:50 AM

I apologize for what happened to you.

So you did it? Sicko.

🂿 · February 10, 2016, 03:32:48 AM

Quote from: Luciana on February 10, 2016, 03:31:40 AM

Quote from: Decimator Omega on February 10, 2016, 02:47:50 AM
I apologize for what happened to you.
So you did it? Sicko.

What?

Why the fuck would I do that?

Luciana · February 10, 2016, 04:11:38 AM

Quote from: Decimator Omega on February 10, 2016, 03:32:48 AM

Quote from: Luciana on February 10, 2016, 03:31:40 AM
Quote from: Decimator Omega on February 10, 2016, 02:47:50 AM
I apologize for what happened to you.
So you did it? Sicko.

What?

Why the fuck would I do that?

It's a joke

saying "I apologize" left it open to say you're the one that did it since you personally apologized for something out of your control. I just found it silly.

🂿 · February 10, 2016, 04:22:24 AM

Quote from: Luciana on February 10, 2016, 04:11:38 AM

Quote from: Decimator Omega on February 10, 2016, 03:32:48 AM
Quote from: Luciana on February 10, 2016, 03:31:40 AM
Quote from: Decimator Omega on February 10, 2016, 02:47:50 AM
I apologize for what happened to you.
So you did it? Sicko.

What?

Why the fuck would I do that?
It's a joke

saying "I apologize" left it open to say you're the one that did it since you personally apologized for something out of your control. I just found it silly.

I thought joking around wasn't allowed in serious.

Jono · February 10, 2016, 04:34:24 AM

Why would you let PSU do that to you?

Mordo · February 10, 2016, 04:36:06 AM

Quote from: Cindy on February 10, 2016, 03:23:54 AM

Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:39:26 AM
Quote from: Icy on February 10, 2016, 02:35:09 AM
Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:28:17 AM
Is that sexual assault? Sounds like the guy just groped you, no offence.

Terms of legal code here in the states, yeah. Sexual assault is generally a big umbrella term used, with more specific examples and stuff under it.
Oh right.

Well as shitty as your experience was, I don't really agree with your laws. Touching someone inappropriately is not at all comparable to full blown penis-in-the-orifice nonconsensual sex.
Luckily, that's rape, not sexual assault

Hoo boy here we go, another progressive dictionary definition meme. Epic.

Incan · February 10, 2016, 04:53:33 AM

Should really report that, it's a rather serious crime.

challengerX · February 10, 2016, 06:01:32 AM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

DAS B00T x2 · February 10, 2016, 06:56:37 AM

So why didn't you walk away?

Anonymous (User Deleted) · February 10, 2016, 08:05:09 AM

Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 04:36:06 AM

Quote from: Cindy on February 10, 2016, 03:23:54 AM
Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:39:26 AM
Quote from: Icy on February 10, 2016, 02:35:09 AM
Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:28:17 AM
Is that sexual assault? Sounds like the guy just groped you, no offence.

Terms of legal code here in the states, yeah. Sexual assault is generally a big umbrella term used, with more specific examples and stuff under it.
Oh right.

Well as shitty as your experience was, I don't really agree with your laws. Touching someone inappropriately is not at all comparable to full blown penis-in-the-orifice nonconsensual sex.
Luckily, that's rape, not sexual assault
Hoo boy here we go, another progressive dictionary definition meme. Epic.

Why is it unsurprising that a conservative is downplaying sexual assault?

challengerX · February 10, 2016, 08:37:36 AM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

gats · February 10, 2016, 08:46:06 AM

Quote from: Kupo & the Two G-strings on February 10, 2016, 08:05:09 AM

Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 04:36:06 AM
Quote from: Cindy on February 10, 2016, 03:23:54 AM
Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:39:26 AM
Quote from: Icy on February 10, 2016, 02:35:09 AM
Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:28:17 AM
Is that sexual assault? Sounds like the guy just groped you, no offence.

Terms of legal code here in the states, yeah. Sexual assault is generally a big umbrella term used, with more specific examples and stuff under it.
Oh right.

Well as shitty as your experience was, I don't really agree with your laws. Touching someone inappropriately is not at all comparable to full blown penis-in-the-orifice nonconsensual sex.
Luckily, that's rape, not sexual assault
Hoo boy here we go, another progressive dictionary definition meme. Epic.
Why is it unsurprising that a conservative is downplaying sexual assault?

Icy was obviously asking for it, you don't talk to someone unless you're going to have sex with them

challengerX · February 10, 2016, 08:59:39 AM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Alternative Facts · February 10, 2016, 09:17:06 AM

Quote from: DAS B00T 2016 on February 10, 2016, 06:56:37 AM

So why didn't you walk away?

The guy was quite a bit taller, more muscular, and his breath smelled of booze. I know I should have fought back more, but I guess in my mind at the time, a drunk, violent dude wouldn't make the situation any better.

It's not like I just sat there and let it happen though. I was telling him no and pushing him back from me.

Pippen · February 10, 2016, 09:30:41 AM

So wait...

This is gay, sexual assault?

Sorry man, but WOW. Wasn't expecting any guy to say they were sexually assaulted here.

Alternative Facts · February 10, 2016, 09:35:49 AM

Quote from: Pip on February 10, 2016, 09:30:41 AM

This is gay, sexual assault?

No, it's sexual assault.

challengerX · February 10, 2016, 09:47:27 AM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Alternative Facts · February 10, 2016, 09:51:59 AM

Quote from: challengerX on February 10, 2016, 09:47:27 AM

Quote from: Icy on February 10, 2016, 09:17:06 AM
Quote from: DAS B00T 2016 on February 10, 2016, 06:56:37 AM
So why didn't you walk away?

The guy was quite a bit taller, more muscular, and his breath smelled of booze. I know I should have fought back more, but I guess in my mind at the time, a drunk, violent dude wouldn't make the situation any better.

It's not like I just sat there and let it happen though. I was telling him no and pushing him back from me.
Because he wasn't already being violent by forcing himself on you?

Didn't say that - but getting him angry would have only made the whole situation worse

Quote

What was your plan if nobody walked into the room?

No idea

challengerX · February 10, 2016, 10:04:15 AM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

PSU · February 10, 2016, 10:25:35 AM

Well that sucks, glad it didn't go any further.

You should pay some people to kick his ass.

Mordo · February 10, 2016, 10:30:18 AM

Quote from: Kupo & the Two G-strings on February 10, 2016, 08:05:09 AM

Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 04:36:06 AM
Quote from: Cindy on February 10, 2016, 03:23:54 AM
Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:39:26 AM
Quote from: Icy on February 10, 2016, 02:35:09 AM
Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 02:28:17 AM
Is that sexual assault? Sounds like the guy just groped you, no offence.

Terms of legal code here in the states, yeah. Sexual assault is generally a big umbrella term used, with more specific examples and stuff under it.
Oh right.

Well as shitty as your experience was, I don't really agree with your laws. Touching someone inappropriately is not at all comparable to full blown penis-in-the-orifice nonconsensual sex.
Luckily, that's rape, not sexual assault
Hoo boy here we go, another progressive dictionary definition meme. Epic.
Why is it unsurprising that a conservative is downplaying sexual assault?

I'm not downplaying anything. Criticizing the law for conflating inappropriate groping under the vague banner of 'sexual assault' is literally the opposite of downplaying.

Anonymous (User Deleted) · February 10, 2016, 10:37:33 AM

Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 10:30:18 AM

conflating [non-consensual] inappropriate groping under the vague banner of 'sexual assault'

They are not the same... how?

Mordo · February 10, 2016, 10:59:50 AM

Quote from: Kupo & the Two G-strings on February 10, 2016, 10:37:33 AM

Quote from: Mordo on February 10, 2016, 10:30:18 AM
conflating [non-consensual] inappropriate groping under the vague banner of 'sexual assault'
They are not the same... how?

Because I think we should be proportional in how we treat these crimes. Groping is quite evidently not as equally bad as tying someone down and force fucking them in the arse/vagina non-consensually, in the same way that battery is not as bad as murder despite both being morally reprehensible.