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Messages - Solonoid

Pages: 1 23 ... 452
1
ty guys, for some reason the like button isn't working but I want you to imagine that I'm liking your posts lol

2
I don't really have anyone else to tell. I don't use social media. Beyond that, in spite of what some of you think of me you're the people I have always felt most comfortable with.

Being a part of the b.net and Sep7agon communities helped me figure a teeny tiny bit about myself when I didn't really know anything about who I was. When I was a child, I wasn't really allowed to be or want anything. My mother raised me like some disgusting mixture of a dress-up doll and a poorly trained dog. I wasn't allowed to choose my own clothes until I was in eighth grade. I'm sure you all know I didn't have any friends, and I'm sure I've told my story extensively over the last decade here.

My life was really hard after that. But I checked in every now and then and you probably know things have gotten a lot better. You're probably aware that I started HRT six years ago. You might not know that it was difficult for me to maintain a supply of medication early on, or that it was more important to me than things like food, or shelter. I've been able to be secure in having access to meds for the last four years.

I'm talking about all of this because, the thing I wanted to share with you, is that I just broke down in tears after realizing that for the first time in fifteen years I am not completely ashamed of myself and my body. I stopped being comfortable with being seen without a shirt on when I was eleven or twelve. The funny thing about this is I've been extremely depressed lately, and completely went insane in October. I was doing some engineering work for a company near Tulsa, and it was the first job I'd ever had that paid well enough for me to buy a house. I pretended to be someone that I wasn't because I knew that they wouldn't take the real me seriously. I had a relatively socialist worldview, which I had constructed for myself after clawing out of the repressed pits of fascist hell my brain lived in until I was 22. Suddenly I needed to fit in with the Maga crowd. I really didn't realize how much self-harm I was inflicting by trying to be that person. I knew I could be that person though, because I had been before. Holy shit what happens to you when you start drinking their Kool-aid.

So, I had gone completely insane, not the first time. Then my mother forced me to relive being abandoned by her. I had an absolute psychotic breakdown. I checked myself into the hospital but it was too late, the damage was done. I needed to start all over over again and this time I decided to go back to school. Now that I have fewer external pressures I'm free to be myself all the time. I still feel guilty for going on autistic rants about everything, while pacing and gesticulating, but I'm trying to accept that I can't repress my neurodivergent behavior without hurting myself either. It's still really embarrassing though.

So I've been really depressed and I got a little bit fat, I gained about thirty-five pounds over the course of the whole ordeal, and I've been really ashamed of that. But I just lost the first ten pounds and just yesterday I realized that my hips are wider than my shoulders. And I realized even though I've still got another twenty pounds to lose I have a narrow waistline. I tried on some of the clothes that I had put away years ago because I would be embarrassed to be seen in them when I was 30lbs lighter than I am now, and they actually looked pretty good. And tonight, it struck me that I didn't have to feel bad about myself anymore, and I don't need to pretend to be someone I'm not anymore. I'm actually more myself than I've ever been in my whole entire life and it's time to start acting like it. And I just broke down sobbing. I'm crying right now, too.

Thank you guys so much for being here, after all these years. And thank you so much for all the help you gave me. I just didn't think I could get through this moment without letting you know it means everything to me.

3
The Flood / Re: The last vestige of Bungie is going
« on: November 02, 2023, 03:24:51 PM »
Bungie just laid off a shit ton of staff including Michael Salvatori. Final Shape is delayed by 4 months and Marathon delayed to 2025.

It has never been more over.
Yep. I no-life this game and it's clear this is kinda the end. I expect the game will be on auto-pilot from here on out and they will start hemorrhaging players.

Super sad. Fuck those corporate pigs who make these kind of decisions.
Yeah I seriously doubt the episodes thing is going to be any less barebones than seasons have been. I still hope sincerely that there will be a complete Destiny one day with all the content from D1 through TFS, but I seriously doubt it.

Groups going away is entirely a result of planned obsolescence and I'm pretty sure they're doing the same thing with Destiny right now.

4
The Flood / Re: Check out my shed
« on: October 09, 2023, 08:40:38 AM »
Looks cozy in a beat down kind of way. That your home or some kind of hobby project?

I have an idea for you if you want. The building I'm staying in is 100 years old. Same sawdust insulation in it when it was originally built. This building is both stupid hot in the summer and cold in the winter. I've no money, but I think I found a way to make wall insulation out of scavenged plastic.

The theory is, take two sheets of plastic and seal them together to make an air pocket. Could leave it at that, but my idea is this. Stick an air valve in the plastic and suck out 80-90% of the air between the sheets. Vacuum or near vacuum makes a great insulator because there's nothing to conduct heat.

I've been building batteries out of screws and nails of two types and using water as an electrolyte to power smaller things in the house. Dunno about you, but I don't count on power grids very much lately. If you want, once I've tinkered with the prototypes a bit and find out their duration limits, I could give you specs on them. Good chance you could power some shit in that shed with it.
No, it's just our smoke and drink spot, there's also a house on the property that was built in 1920.

I recommend you look into aerogel insulation solutions, you can actually just paint it on and then reuse your existing insulation as a fill. My plan for this little building is to put up a cementboard ceiling, then paint my walls with Rova Shield, then insulate with cermic fiber. If you have a metal roof you can also paint it with a solar reflective aerogel. Unfortunately mine is tar shingles.

5
The Flood / Re: Check out my shed
« on: October 05, 2023, 11:48:18 AM »
more than looking good, playing old games on a CRT is especially great because of the reduced input lag, making games like Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! significantly more enjoyable

that being said, you should consider adding an NES to this setup
I didn't have an NES when I was a kid but my buddies said the same thing

probably gonna get a genesis first

edit: also yeah punchout is basically unplayable after a certain point on any modern panel technology other than OLED, and the game wouldn't look anywhere near as good as it does on CRT

6
The Flood / Re: Hang on, wait a second
« on: October 05, 2023, 11:46:47 AM »
i don't suppose it can't be about both
From a perspective of subject, it's certainly about both, but from a perspective of making a statement about something, the two are more contrary to one another than you might think.

The goal of the former statement is to assert that humans have limitless potential and we should therefore be careful about how we continue to grow into the future.

The latter statement, instead asserts that the potential of humans for growth is limitless, and asserts that we should avoid growing beyond a certain point because any continued growth after that point has been reached will inevitably result in ruin, and perhaps even asserts that we've already passed that point.

The devil lies in the difference between "Limitless Potential" and "Potential for Limitless Growth". The former implies humans are capable of creating a perfect society, but need to be careful on the way there. The latter warns you that it's impossible, even if there isn't technically a limit to how far we can develop and push the envelope.

7
The Flood / Re: Check out my shed
« on: October 05, 2023, 05:46:36 AM »
That table though… look underneath and tell me who makes it.
I think Christopher Knight, it's made of rubberwood.

8
The Flood / Hang on, wait a second
« on: October 05, 2023, 05:42:44 AM »
what if Handlebars by FloBots isn't about the darkness within human potential, but instead is about the inevitable trajectory of limitless growth

9
The Flood / Re: Check out my shed
« on: October 01, 2023, 08:49:08 PM »
So how hot does it get?
it was pretty hot this summer

I bought some cement board to do the ceiling this autumn, then I'll put in some insulation in the walls in the spring

I put an old ac in the window, but I'll probably be buying a new one when I do the insulation

the building itself is on a concrete slab, so it's already staying cooler even though it's still 90° some days

10
The Flood / Re: Check out my shed
« on: October 01, 2023, 10:49:10 AM »
Ah, television in 4:3, just like God intended.
Zack Snyder said that it's just the right way

11
The Flood / Re: Hello fellas, been a while since I’ve checked in
« on: September 30, 2023, 08:09:09 PM »
Don’t think I’ve been here since 2014, catch me up on the lore
it's a little slow, but I think the forum is still alright

12
The Flood / Check out my shed
« on: September 30, 2023, 07:31:13 PM »
got the SNES and GameCube set up on the crt and native analog 480i streaming without an Xbox or ps3

old shows look great over this setup, nothing is squished and it also has dlna steaming

Old 4:3 anime looks especially good.




13
The Flood / Re: AI, Art, and Artists.
« on: September 29, 2023, 08:24:43 AM »
The real problem is people conflating illustration with art.

AI cannot create art because art is part of human expression. Art is a medium by which people can communicate their emotions to one another. If the primary goal of an illustration is NOT to communicate emotions, then the illustration isn't art.

The people who are under threat here aren't actually artists. they're career illustrators who have always been more interested in the paycheck they get from illustrating professionally than in the merit of producing a piece purely for artistic expression.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you think an AI is even capable of filling the role an artist is actually supposed to occupy in a society, then your view of art is mostly economic and your idea of an artist is mostly professional, and you kinda missed the point.

Not like I don't feel for all the illustrators who invested years of their life cultivating the skills to work in this field, but when you consider that art is not economic and professional illustration is not art, it's pretty obvious that what's happening here is more akin to auto workers being replaced by robots, and less akin to the well of human culture being poisoned by a scifi eldritch horror we cooked up in a lab.

14
Witch Queen to me felt like the last hurrah for Destiny. Everything since then has been "vaguely adequate" at best but all largely forgettable with a very "minimum viable product" quality to it. Even then the fatigue with the seasonal model was starting to set in around Chosen/Splicer. And Bungie have made clear that they're committing to the seasonal model, and that putting any effort into the core playlists (beyond bloating it with Battlegrounds) would take resources away from that. As long as people continue buying the Annual Pass every year I don't see that changing sadly.
I find myself often wondering if we'll ever get another patrol area as varied and interesting as the ones from long ago. The standard has long been three large areas each with one lost sector. I very sincerely hope that the area added in the final shape will feel more holistic, like the EDZ or Cosmodrome. To say the least I have been bored with the seasonal model ever since they abandoned trying to make interesting and engaging encounters for each season decided "fuck it make it a strike with a twist". Black Armory forges may have been lacking in terms of depth but at least it was something different to do with your time, and more importantly it still felt like Destiny. I haven't really felt that way about seasonal content in the last three years.

15
Now Baldur's Gate 3 was being criticized by some AAA devs because how dare they launch a finished game in 2023!
This isn't actually the case, IGN just put out an inflammatory headline to get Gamers riled up. It's based on a tweet about how the conditions and dev cycle behind BG3 were an anomaly and something within the wider AAA space would have to change to make more games like it possible. IGN made it sound like when those shithead Ubisoft devs were shitting on Elden Ring last year but this is a bit different.
Developers know that gamers are willing to play fewer good games a year in order to avoid playing more bad games. Publishers continue to demand annual releases and for games to receive a Hollywood style hype train. The difference is in Hollywood the hype train begins once the movie is at least finished with principal photography and usually after the first rough cut has been made. In gaming it's unsustainable because it begins before there's any way of knowing whether or not the game will actually be coming out any time soon or if the product they're advertising is the product that will actually be delivered, which is a big part of the reason Marty lost his job. He was upset when Activision put out the first Destiny trailer because it did not line up with Bungie's vision of the game, and he was very vocal about it publicly.

16
I mean, no.
What year do you think the leads on all of the Halo projects left Bungie?

All you have to do is look at the pictures of the staff from 2007 and compare to the most recent ones to see that yes, all of them left long ago.
Christopher Barrett is still there, I heard he recently did a guest spot on Alex Seropian's podcast The Fourth Curtain and spoke about some stuff. He's actually game director for Marathon which gives me some hope for the title. All around, Marathon seems to be more in line with what we were hoping for from Destiny, but it's also probably going to rely on mechanics ripped straight from other extraction shooters, which is a big disappointment.

17
Gaming / The Destiny Community is shocked that Bungie has abandoned them
« on: August 06, 2023, 10:58:27 PM »
I can't really remember why was this forum created again? Who could possibly have seen this coming? If only we had some way of predicting this... perhaps a pattern of behavior?

Pre-order Marathon to Tarkov today!

Seriously though, thoughts regarding the State of the Game Bungie put out, and community backlash leading to, and coming from the article?

18
The Flood / hey, some of you are undoubtedly familiar with networking
« on: October 23, 2022, 08:44:38 PM »
How do I allow my vsftpd (Linux FTP Server) to be accessed by WAN?

It's for a project I'm doing at work to overhaul our network infrastructure. I built a server and have been deploying new features on it for a few weeks now.

Im trying to get an easy solution for our Sales department's reliance on cloud storage, and in the process make our in-house operations more robust against internet outages.

If anyone knows about this kinda stuff, I'd appreciate some advice.

19
Serious / Re: The Biden Presidency
« on: August 01, 2022, 09:53:09 PM »
hey guys remember when Obama said "we got 'im" and the whole country had a moment of unity?

what if we did that again but made it freaky af

20
The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: August 01, 2022, 09:49:53 PM »
Traps lives in his head rent free and that's really funny
or i just saw solonoid log on and decided to annoy her with something that we used to argue about for old time's sake

but also that, yeah sure
wasn't that second thing a quote from class though

21
The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: August 01, 2022, 09:48:18 PM »
I wonder what Solo's boss' opinion was on traps when he was interviewed about them on InfoWars.
idk the media says he's a racist, misogynist, homophobe, etc but for the most part he's kinda just obsessed with the idea that the government is run by Satanists and race, gender, sexual orientation, etc are never really brought up and he just kinda likes people who work hard and don't act entitled to shit

also he freaks out if anyone tries to play anything other than r&b over the speakers at work

oh uh, TL;DR he basically has no opinion on traps

22
The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 31, 2022, 08:01:33 PM »
Dude comes in out of nowhere and starts defending traps when nobody asked

This is called denial exhibit  A
false

it's actually exhibit C

exhibit A is his Astolfo wallpaper on the phone he hates that he needs to be a (begrudgingly) functional adult

unfortunately data on exhibit B has been lost

23
The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 31, 2022, 02:53:58 PM »
When you first saw Alex Jones were you blinded by its majesty?
no, but I was deafened by the blaring sound of indisputable truth

24
The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 31, 2022, 02:53:04 PM »
have you accepted the cold hard truth that traps are not gay yet
traps are only not gay if they have a straight bf

25
The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 30, 2022, 08:47:41 PM »
so alex jones interviewed your boss?
yes

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The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 30, 2022, 08:20:11 PM »
Are you one of the frogs?
Yes. I'm the frog that made the other ones gay. Alex only thought it was the liberal Monsanto machine

27
The Flood / Re: I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 30, 2022, 08:19:41 PM »
link?
sorry, don't wanna post it because my boss is highly googlable, so it would doxx me, but I walk through the background at one point during a video interview segment

28
The Flood / I was in an episode of infowars AMA
« on: July 30, 2022, 07:11:13 PM »
 T4R

29
The Flood / Re: Bungie speaks out for "reproductive rights"
« on: May 12, 2022, 06:13:54 PM »
A fitting move considering their last decade of games have been complete abortions!
Just remembered something I haven't thought of in years: after Microsoft gave BUNGiE the boot, their next project was "Crimson Steam Pirates?" A mobile game which didn't take off.
oh yeah I forgot about that lol

literally never played it but I remember the icons on bnet

30
The Flood / Re: Bungie becomes part of Sony
« on: February 01, 2022, 03:31:16 AM »
What a waste of $3.6 billion
for real, a studio with a history of ingration and rebellion, most recently having gone so far as to have become a completely self published enterprise, and sony thinks this will be a profitable endeavor?

perhaps, if Bungie's upcoming IP in development is a PS5 exclusive there will be significant payoff, and I will almost certainly be playing it on my ps5 since there have been no titles I've been interested in since Demon's Souls, but an IP worth 3.6 billion?

and given Bungie's track record of not buying themselves out but making deals for their freedom?

for some reason I doubt they will be able to emulate Halo's success for Sony, in spite of how natural the partnership seems given the Destiny exclusives they've offered playstation

I can only imagine Sony has determined that the best course of action is to acquire as much independent talent as possible, starting with bungie as they are the largest independent studio today

if they attempt to acquire CDPR next, or soon, my theory will be confirmed, and it will become clear that the 9th gen console war will be determined by ownership, and Sony will be hedging its bets with studios that desire creative freedom for exclusives, while microsoft will deign acquiring publishers such as bethesda and activision-blizzard most profitable

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