Dark Souls Impressions - The FINAL Update

 
Verbatim
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who is Theryherh Rtherthtyh on youtube

they're subscribed to me, but idk who it is


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
I think people underestimate Seath too much when they see that he's "easy". Then you get cursed and you're fucked. It's an interesting boss for sure.


 
Elai
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male, he/him

dracula can eat my whole ass!
I think people underestimate Seath too much when they see that he's "easy". Then you get cursed and you're fucked. It's an interesting boss for sure.

hes just gimmicky

hes hard the first time. thats it.


 
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I think people underestimate Seath too much when they see that he's "easy". Then you get cursed and you're fucked. It's an interesting boss for sure.
hes just gimmicky

hes hard the first time. thats it.
well aren't you just blazing through


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
I think people underestimate Seath too much when they see that he's "easy". Then you get cursed and you're fucked. It's an interesting boss for sure.
hes just gimmicky

hes hard the first time. thats it.
well aren't you just blazing through

nah i just know what kinda boss he is

i havent even beaten the capra demon


 
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Just received my first-ever spam comment:



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His eyebrows sparkling, his white beard hangs down to his chest. The thatched mats, spread outside his chise, spread softly, his splendid attos. He polishes, cross-legged, his makiri, with his eyes completely absorbed.

He is Ainu.

The god of Ainu Mosir, Ae-Oine Kamuy, descendant of Okiku-Rumi, He perishes, a living corpse. The summers day, the white sunlight, unabrushed, ends simply through his breath alone.
who is Theryherh Rtherthtyh on youtube

they're subscribed to me, but idk who it is
sounds like Ember tbh


 
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who is Theryherh Rtherthtyh on youtube

they're subscribed to me, but idk who it is
sounds like Ember tbh
doubtful; they're also subscribed to paul joseph watson and sargon of akkad


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His eyebrows sparkling, his white beard hangs down to his chest. The thatched mats, spread outside his chise, spread softly, his splendid attos. He polishes, cross-legged, his makiri, with his eyes completely absorbed.

He is Ainu.

The god of Ainu Mosir, Ae-Oine Kamuy, descendant of Okiku-Rumi, He perishes, a living corpse. The summers day, the white sunlight, unabrushed, ends simply through his breath alone.
who is Theryherh Rtherthtyh on youtube

they're subscribed to me, but idk who it is
sounds like Ember tbh
doubtful; they're also subscribed to paul joseph watson and sargon of akkad
Oh okay, it's Das


 
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Sometimes I see Frampt just sleeping when I'd like to feed him stuff.

I guess I'm supposed to stab him, but I never do, just because I'm afraid he'll get pissed.


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Jacob Potila was actually a Jacob Flotilla of lies.- WarTurkey
Trying to cut off Seath's tail as a Mage was a bitch.


 
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TOOK OUT ANOTHER BOSS

have fun guessing which one

i bet it's obvious, but you'll find out in a couple days


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TOOK OUT ANOTHER BOSS

have fun guessing which one

i bet it's obvious, but you'll find out in a couple days
Is it Pinwheel?


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I love you, son.
TOOK OUT ANOTHER BOSS

have fun guessing which one

i bet it's obvious, but you'll find out in a couple days
It's Dingodile, isn't it?


 
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
for my money, tartarus


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Jacob Potila was actually a Jacob Flotilla of lies.- WarTurkey
I'm guessing Pinwheel or Ceasless Discharge


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
Did you kill him in one hit


 
Hahahaha very funny Zonda
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RIP ENDIE
Did you *teleport behind him* and said "Nothing personnal kid"?


 
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<- Previous update: There's a Meth Joke in Here Somewhere...


Recap:
- Escaped from Duke's Archives
- Rescued Big Hat Logan (again)
- Killed Seath the Scaleless

Current missions:
- Tie up some loose ends in previous areas
- Locate and kill the Witch of Izalith, Gravelord Nito, and the Four Kings



After slaying Seath, and immediately taking his Bequeathed Lord Soul Shard to the Firelink Altar, it became starkly apparent to me just how much more shit I still needed to do in this game.

The first thing I wanted to take care of was heading back to the prison in the Duke's Archives, just to check up on those strange snakelike abominations in the basement. I didn't fully grasp what was going on down there until I started reading the lore texts for all the keys I had gathered.

Basically, those creatures used to be human. They were maidens captured by channelers working under Seath the Scaleless, which explains why I found a set of maiden's clothing while down there—maidens who once worked for Gwynevere, who I met in Anor Londo. Once imprisoned, Seath's minions began conducting cruel experiments on them, which transmogrified them into snakelike reptilian soldiers. The creatures in the basement are repeatedly referred to as "mistakes"—botched attempts at transformation.

When I first escaped the prison, one of the snake soldiers from down below pulled a lever, which activated a large phonograph. The phonograph then produced this incredibly loud and extremely eerie music, which caused all the "mistakes" to start patrolling the prison—presumably to get me back in there, but they were far too weak to do me any real harm. Pulling the lever again causes the phonograph to stop playing the music, and the "mistakes"—if they haven't been killed yet—swiftly re-enter their claustrophobic room.

Only two of these "mistakes" don't respond to the phonograph at all; they can be seen cowering in a corner, weeping in despair over their fight. Unlike the others, these two seemed fully conscious of their fate and are visibly suffering. Regardless, they will not attack you, even if you strike them.

I had hoped that, after I killed Seath, that I would be able to save these two—maybe they would revert back to their human form, and only Seath was preventing them from doing so. But apparently, that's a little bit too Disney for this game—because unfortunately, killing Seath didn't appear to do them any good after I checked up on them.

What I hoped would be a last resort—putting them out of their misery—ended up being my solution. Upon mercy killing them, I picked up two miracles—Soothing Sunlight and Bountiful Sunlight. The former is a powerful but extremely demanding healing spell, and the latter is another demanding spell that heals you gradually over time. It feels bad that I'll never use these, but I feel better knowing that there was nothing else for me to do about those maidens.

The last thing I did in the Archives was catch up with Logan. He doesn't really offer anything that I can't already get from Griggs, which is a shame, but he did teach me a little bit about Seath—despite the fact that I had already killed him.

The crystal rod in the back of his arena was exactly as I initially suspected it to be. I regret not talking about it much in my coverage video, because that would've made me look smart, but oh well. The object is essentially his source of strength—if I didn't destroy it as soon as I did, I would not have been able to hurt him. So, I made the right call—I guess that's pretty good to know.



The next thing I wanted to do was slay that hydra—the one that I first encountered in Update #14. This thing has been alive for too long.

If you watched my AMA video, you already saw me take this thing out.

YouTube

It was easier to kill than I thought it would be. However, embarrassingly, it took me a solid three attempts—which I try my best to hide in this video, but you can clearly see me going from human to hollow (as well as a shift in my number of souls) at one point. Don't worry, I can explain.

The first attempt, I was just unprepared. I wore heavy armor—the same armor I wore for the Seath fight, so my movement speed—as well as my shitty midroll—simply were not very good at dodging the hydra's water blasts.

The second attempt, I made the switch to my old Wanderer clothes—every part is currently +6—and I traded my trusty Eagle Shield for an old friend of mine, the Grass Crest Shield. Not only does this give me quicker stamina regeneration, it also has high magic resistance—and with Havel's Ring, my weight is reduced to a point where I'm finally fastrolling for the first time since Update #1.

It's actually incredible the amount of shit you can get away with just by fastrolling—it's definitely not to be taken for granted, as someone who's been midrolling for every single boss.

The reason I died was just stupid, and you can see it in the footage above. I got the hydra down to his final head, but for whatever reason, whenever I coaxed it to lurch forward and try to bite me, it always swerved off to its right, never actually getting anywhere near me. Sometimes its head would just clip through the side of the hill or mountain it was next to, making arrows a little tricky to use. So in order for me to cut it off at all, I had to come near it—but when I tried that, I didn't realize that there was a big gaping hole in the water, and that I would just fall right into it as if there wasn't any water at all.

That bullshit takes me back to Castlevania, because Simon Belmont couldn't swim either, despite being this macho warrior.

I got him on my third attempt—as shown, I just shot the final head with a well-placed arrow and sealed the deal.

My reward was only a little bit disappointing, just because, once again, I have no use for it: A Dusk Crown Ring. It boosts the number of sorceries I can cast (six Fire Orbs becomes nine Fire Orbs, I believe), but at the cost of cutting my HP in half—which is a pretty brutal downside. I also got a Dragon Scale, but I don't use dragon weapons, so I don't care. I did notice a cave behind where the hydra used to be, but there was fuck all inside it when I looked.

Later, a friend of mine told me to come back to this spot—so I did, and this time, I actually found something in the cave. How I would've figured that out on my own, I'm not sure—but what I spotted was yet another one of those giant golden crystal golems, like the one that had captured Siegmeyer's daughter before.

After slaying it, I had indeed rescued another person—this time, a lady called Dusk from Oolacile. I remember seeing her name in the description of my Dusk Crown Ring. Apart from having a cute voice, she offered to teach me some more miracles—and she actually has some pretty cool ones, even if they're a bit gimmicky. One of them allows you to make your weapon (or even yourself) invisible, one of them transforms you into an object for stealth purposes, and one of them lights up dark areas. I took that one, because it seemed the most useful.

Still, though—even after having done all that, I knew I still wasn't finished with the Darkroot area.



In the interim, I took it upon myself to do a bit of grinding. It's become apparent to me that I still don't have a boss weapon, despite the fact that I'm more than equipped to get myself one. My problem is, I just can't decide which one I want, and which of my weapons I want to sacrifice.

I gathered up around ~100,000 souls (the most I've ever carried at once) and fully upgraded my Pyromancy Flame; it was +11, and now it's +15, and Laurentius cannot ascend it any higher.

Using my Symbol of Avarice, I warped back to Crystal Cave and slaughtered a bunch of clams, gathering up a lot of Twinkling Titanite and Purging Stones. I think it's bullshit that the effects of the SoA and the Covetous Gold Serpent Ring don't stack, but whatever. I also used this as an opportunity to test out different weapons—particularly my divine ones, because I know I'll be using them very soon. I also discovered that the clams have a weakness to fire—using my Combustion power makes them reel back pretty hard. I wish I would've known that earlier.

Finally, I went back to Firelink and tested out my divine weapons against those skeletons in the graveyard. Trying to fight them with anything other than divine weapons is futile, because they simply reanimate—a hard lesson I learned way back in Update #1.5, a year and a half ago. Needless to say, it was quite satisfying—especially in discovering how easy the bigger skeletons are to deal with.



There was one last thing on my agenda for the night, and that was to head back into the Darkroot Wood.

I've wandered in here before, after I got the Crest of Artorias—in part #16, I determined that this was a good grinding spot, because the Forest Hunters give you a pretty decent chunk of souls. I've since outgrown them, but past the stone castle where Alvina the cat resides was a portion that I had previously strayed far away from:
Quote
This particular neck of the woods was divided by a wide crevice. The gap was bridged together with a small building, though, with a funny-looking cat sitting at the window. It started bitching at me for not wanting to turn back. After telling it to fuck off, I made my way to the other side of the forest--which was inhabited by a group of these timid little mushroom midgets that waddled away from me when I approached them.

Next thing I know, I get bowled over by a giant rolling cat. Probably the biggest "oh shit" moment in the playthrough for me. It knocked at least 60% of my health down, so, as for what I did next, I have just two words: Homeward Bone.

Those "giant rolling cats" are a bit easier for me to deal with now, and there's only two of them in a relatively small locale, so I had nothing to worry about all along.

As for the little mushroom dudes, I met their parents. Again, only two of them, but they packed a wallop and forced me to be pretty cautious with my strikes. I took care of them without any problems, and was pleasantly surprised to see that they drop Gold Pine Resin, which was my favorite early-game item. They also guarded a chest that contained another Ember to add to my collection: the Enchanted Ember.

Heading further up the forest, I came across a pretty sight—off in the distance, a bridge connected where I stood with a giant door with light shining through it. This wasn't the first time I had seen this door, but this was the first time I felt confident enough to head over to it. My "boss" senses were tingling.

Opening the door revealed a wide open area with a singular large yet ornate grave in the center—this must have been the grave of Artorias that I heard Andre whisper about. I approached it slowly, because I noticed that the grave was being guarded by a large figure—No, it's just an enormous sword.

Approaching it triggered a cutscene—when I got near it, out popped a very large wolf staring down at me.

YouTube

Spoiler
Apart from Sif's soul, I also retrieved a special ring called the Covenant of Artorias. According to its description, it allows me to enter a new realm called the Abyss—at least, whenever it is I figure out how to get there.


Big Boss | Mythic Card Master
 
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Jacob Potila was actually a Jacob Flotilla of lies.- WarTurkey
Yo killed best doggo, RIP


Also, are you aware of how counter hits with the spear work? It could be useful to you.


 
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Yo killed best doggo, RIP

Also, are you aware of how counter hits with the spear work? It could be useful to you.
I'm familiar with the mechanic, but I'm not so good at executing it.


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Jacob Potila was actually a Jacob Flotilla of lies.- WarTurkey
Yo killed best doggo, RIP

Also, are you aware of how counter hits with the spear work? It could be useful to you.
I'm familiar with the mechanic, but I'm not so good at executing it.

Oh

It's not that hard, you just block then poke...


 
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Oh

It's not that hard, you just block then poke...
Oh, I didn't know that's what you meant. Of course I know about that.

I thought you were talking about the Winged Spear's tendency to deal more damage when you hit your enemy at just the right moment.


 
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Oh

It's not that hard, you just block then poke...
Oh, I didn't know that's what you meant. Of course I know about that.

I thought you were talking about the Winged Spear's tendency to deal more damage when you hit your enemy at just the right moment.
Counter damage meaning hitting an enemy who's mid attack and interrupting them. Thrusting weapons are good at this, they tend to have more counter damage.

Also hitting enemies with the sweet spot with long weapons deals more damage. You don't wanna be right up close and hitting them with the shaft, needs to be spaced properly so just the blade / spike hits. I can't remember if this in the first game, or if they added it in 2, but it's still worth spacing enemies properly anyway
Last Edit: June 30, 2017, 08:34:55 PM by A Cheese Potato


 
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Counter damage meaning hitting an enemy who's mid attack and interrupting them. Thrusting weapons are good at this, they tend to have more counter damage.

Also hitting enemies with the sweet spot with long weapons deals more damage. You don't wanna be right up close and hitting them with the shaft, needs to be spaced properly so just the blade / spike hits. I can't remember if this in the first game, or if they added it in 2, but it's still worth spacing enemies properly anyway
I'm thinking that must be a II thing—I'm rather well-acquainted with my weapon and its kit at this point, and I haven't noticed any damage differences between hitting with the shaft vs. the blade. But you're right, spacing is still important.

Spacing was particularly difficult with this boss, given how he's constantly leaping all over the place.


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
Why aren't you two handing the Claymore? It's easily the best sword fully leveled up and using charcoal or gold pine resin. Shields are for babies.

You're not a baby are you?


 
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Why aren't you two handing the Claymore? It's easily the best sword fully leveled up and using charcoal or gold pine resin. Shields are for babies.

You're not a baby are you?
I really dislike two-handed swords, and don't find them fun at all.

Shields are pretty dope.

If I ever want to fantasize about having a tiny penis, I'll try out the Zweihander.


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Also the Hornet ring boosting criticals is for backstabs, riposting after a parry, that sort of thing.


 
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Also the Hornet ring boosting criticals is for backstabs, riposting after a parry, that sort of thing.
Ohhh, okay, cool.

That's the shitty thing about using a greatshield—they synergize well with spears, but I can't parry anymore.