The first girl I ever dated just passed away

Deesbee · December 20, 2015, 03:51:57 PM

She was just getting ready to finish school and go out into the world. She had just started dating a guy. And the day before she went into a coma I saw her smiling walking down the street with her boyfriend and she was just such a joyful person and she is just suddenly gone. I have no idea how to feel. She was in the hospital for 5 days and just 2 hours ago she passed. I know most of you don't care and just see this as a shitty blog post. But I wanted to vent here just because you guys are like a shitty family to me. It's just hard to swallow, she was so joyful every time I saw her and she has been taken away for no reason at all. I've lost people close to me before but they all took their own lives or passed from age. She is just gone... Sorry about the post i'm sure it looks like a mess and probably makes zero sense my mind is just going a mile a minute right now.

ΚΑΤΑΝΑΛΩΤΗΣ · December 20, 2015, 03:52:52 PM

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December 20, 2015, 03:54:12 PM

I really don't know what to say about the situation.

Casper · December 20, 2015, 03:58:53 PM

Oh well, she was an ex.

Korra · December 20, 2015, 04:00:25 PM

That sucks a lot because it sounds like you guys were at least good friends. How did it happen? If you don't mind me asking.

R o c k e t · December 20, 2015, 04:00:26 PM

That's terrible. Definitely treasure the time you have, and I'm sorry for your loss.
There have been a few deaths around here where I didn't know the people, but a ton of my friends did.

Death isn't easy.

Cadenza has moved on · December 20, 2015, 04:44:40 PM

Are you going to her funeral? If it's shaken you up then you should get some closure and pay your respects.

Deesbee · December 20, 2015, 04:44:41 PM

Quote from: Korra on December 20, 2015, 04:00:25 PM

That sucks a lot because it sounds like you guys were at least good friends. How did it happen? If you don't mind me asking.

I'm honestly not sure. She was found unconscious on Thursday morning and just never woke up after. I heart something about heart problems but that is about it.

Deesbee · December 20, 2015, 04:45:56 PM

Quote from: Jackadenza Frost on December 20, 2015, 04:44:40 PM

Are you going to her funeral? If it's shaken you up then you should get some closure and pay your respects.

I will be going. It's going to be the third time I am going to be at a friends funeral before I am done with school.

Cadenza has moved on · December 20, 2015, 04:56:53 PM

Quote from: Mr Whiteflame on December 20, 2015, 04:45:56 PM

Quote from: Jackadenza Frost on December 20, 2015, 04:44:40 PM
Are you going to her funeral? If it's shaken you up then you should get some closure and pay your respects.
I will be going. It's going to be the third time I am going to be at a friends funeral before I am done with school.

Three? That's really fucking rough. The last time a friend of mine died was when I was about 5 due to brain cancer, I'm not even sure how I'd hold up now.

Just take it easy I guess.

Sprungli · December 20, 2015, 05:41:37 PM

Sounds awful man, thinking of if that situation happened to me causes me to shudder, I don't have any idea how i'd hold up. Just try to get your head together I guess

FatherlyNick - fuck putin · December 20, 2015, 05:54:38 PM

The Hån · December 20, 2015, 05:56:58 PM

Dude that's absolutely horrible. I'm really sorry to hear that.

Solonoid · December 20, 2015, 05:59:15 PM

Am I a bad person because I don't feel bad when people close to me die?

Luciana · December 20, 2015, 06:05:22 PM

Quote from: Mr Whiteflame on December 20, 2015, 04:44:41 PM

Quote from: Korra on December 20, 2015, 04:00:25 PM
That sucks a lot because it sounds like you guys were at least good friends. How did it happen? If you don't mind me asking.
I'm honestly not sure. She was found unconscious on Thursday morning and just never woke up after. I heart something about heart problems but that is about it.

That's terrible. I really don't know what to say and I know no words can ever really help you.

Just be thankful for the joy she's brought into your world and to others and take some heart that any pain she was feeling is gone. Try to take care of yourself too and what not.

I'm sorry again, that actually just deflated me somewhat.

Verbatim · December 20, 2015, 06:07:13 PM

Quote from: Kirlia on December 20, 2015, 05:59:15 PM

Am I a bad person because I don't feel bad when people close to me die?

This is why nihilism is a disease.

Luciana · December 20, 2015, 06:08:11 PM

Quote from: Kirlia on December 20, 2015, 05:59:15 PM

Am I a bad person because I don't feel bad when people close to me die?

Everybody handles grief differently. And honestly, I wouldn't count grandma or cousin someone close since it's usually only interacting with them on a less consistent basis.

I didn't cry when my grandma died or anything, but when my friend committed suicide I did. Point is, the more close/impactful they are to you, the more it is. That isn't to say though that I'm saying you should cry your eyes out.

Some people are honestly just in a state of shock for so long that it doesn't really hit them until way later. Hell, I still don't feel like my friend is gone and that he's just away at a different state or something. It's a very bizarre feeling.

Luciana · December 20, 2015, 06:10:06 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on December 20, 2015, 06:07:13 PM

Quote from: Kirlia on December 20, 2015, 05:59:15 PM
Am I a bad person because I don't feel bad when people close to me die?
This is why nihilism is a disease.

Think you're jumping the gun a little. He's not saying he's nihilistic. Hell he could just be a sociopath, but even I doubt that.

People handle grief in so many different ways that you shouldn't be "expected" to act any sort of way. Some people cry, some people try to laugh and move the pain away, some people don't really feel anything for a long time.

Solonoid · December 20, 2015, 06:12:56 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on December 20, 2015, 06:07:13 PM

Quote from: Kirlia on December 20, 2015, 05:59:15 PM
Am I a bad person because I don't feel bad when people close to me die?
This is why nihilism is a disease.

And you would rather they never had lived in the first place.

Verbatim · December 20, 2015, 06:13:35 PM

Quote from: Luciana on December 20, 2015, 06:10:06 PM

Think you're jumping the gun a little. He's not saying he's nihilistic. Hell he could just be a sociopath, but even I doubt that.

People handle grief in so many different ways that you shouldn't be "expected" to act any sort of way. Some people cry, some people try to laugh and move the pain away, some people don't really feel anything for a long time.

I understand that, but Solonoid is an admitted nihilist.

T6 · December 20, 2015, 06:14:03 PM

Quote from: Kirlia on December 20, 2015, 05:59:15 PM

Am I a bad person because I don't feel bad when people close to me die?

I want to say yes

Kiwicake · December 20, 2015, 06:20:30 PM

Jesus... I'm so sorry. That's horrible.

Coco · December 20, 2015, 06:23:49 PM

I've never really lost anyone so close around my age, so I wouldn't really know what to say. Sounds brutal, though; sorry man. :/

Deesbee · December 20, 2015, 08:06:55 PM

Just making a quick update on the situation. So it turns out she is brain dead and getting taken off life support soon so everyone on social media said she had already passed away. Her mother asked me and another family friend to come say goodbye. So I just got back and I cannot put into words how I felt looking at her laying in the hospital bed. I talked to her for a while and then I said goodbye. Even with her brain dead I could look at her and still see her face radiating happiness and joy. She was beautiful.

nosejob · December 20, 2015, 08:44:46 PM

God damn. Hope you get through this well.

SecondClass · December 20, 2015, 08:45:27 PM

The worst part about friends dying is not being able to say goodbye. They're just there, and then they're gone, forever. It passes the line of inflicting sadness; you just go numb. There's nothing anyone can say, although they try to anyway. There's no sympathy that will make it remotely better, and I hate the conception that it's required to reach out to those close to the loved one. All that makes it better is isolation, and time.

Azure · December 20, 2015, 08:47:33 PM

Ah...

Sorry..

Luciana · December 20, 2015, 08:51:07 PM

Quote from: Mr Whiteflame on December 20, 2015, 08:06:55 PM

Just making a quick update on the situation. So it turns out she is brain dead and getting taken off life support soon so everyone on social media said she had already passed away. Her mother asked me and another family friend to come say goodbye. So I just got back and I cannot put into words how I felt looking at her laying in the hospital bed. I talked to her for a while and then I said goodbye. Even with her brain dead I could look at her and still see her face radiating happiness and joy. She was beautiful.

God, stop. You're going to make me cry

TheScarysex · December 20, 2015, 09:34:57 PM

Sorry for your loss man, the world is a harsh and unforgiving place.

Super Irish · December 20, 2015, 09:53:22 PM

Jesus, that's pretty rough.

Hold together man, think about the good times you had or don't dwell on them at all, however you cope with it.