Hypothetical: You own a slave

Sandtrap · April 08, 2016, 01:51:24 PM

Let's just say for simplicity's sake, you signed some papers a while back with really fine print that legally obligates you to become a slave owner. A person at random is chosen. You have no choice in their age, sex, or health.

You reap all the benefits of owning somebody, save for three basic rules. You cannot kill your slave. You cannot set them free. If you do, both yourself and them will be killed. And they can't leave your side. That means they can't go anywhere without you.

You are now the proud owner of a slave you can't get rid of.

What do you do?

🂿 · April 08, 2016, 01:58:47 PM

Tell my slave to cook and clean and do my laundry and take care of me when I'm sick. They maybe my slave but I don''t have to be a dick to them.

Oh and they must play video games with me and listen to my interests

🂿 · April 08, 2016, 01:59:50 PM

Oh and if my slave is female..... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Desty · April 08, 2016, 02:00:27 PM

What do I do with a random person? I'd like to use the information about the person to my advantage.

If the person has merits, or the capability, then make them get an education and a high-paying job, then basically share an account with them.

They can't betray me, so they can't leave my side, and they can't go anywhere without me, so they wouldn't move away or anything like that. The relationship would be pretty chill tbh

Sandtrap · April 08, 2016, 02:01:41 PM

Quote from: Quinn Mallory on April 08, 2016, 01:59:50 PM

Oh and if my slave is female..... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You're an american so there's like an 80% chance you'll get an obese person you'd regard as unattractive.

Dietrich Six · April 08, 2016, 02:01:57 PM

I would have him or her mean mug people all day and whisper things to me while staring people down.

The Lord Ruler · April 08, 2016, 02:01:58 PM

Rape them

Desty · April 08, 2016, 02:02:15 PM

Wow, Deci, way to waste potential. Seriously, wtf? It's like asking a genie for 10 milkshakes, or a 100 when you could just ask for the ability to create all kinds of milkshakes from thin air at ease.

Desty · April 08, 2016, 02:04:42 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on April 08, 2016, 02:01:41 PM

Quote from: Quinn Mallory on April 08, 2016, 01:59:50 PM
Oh and if my slave is female..... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You're an american so there's like an 80% chance you'll get an obese person you'd regard as unattractive.

Does that mean I get a 50% chance of getting Abobakar Abdullahi, and 50% chance of getting Frida Svensson?

Verbatim · April 08, 2016, 02:05:22 PM

Death seems like a preferable alternative to being a slave, so I'd scream from the mountaintops that they were set free.

I'd be sure to discuss it with them first, however.

snee0rp · April 08, 2016, 02:05:34 PM

Treat them as an equal. I guess I have a friend now.

Desty · April 08, 2016, 02:08:57 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on April 08, 2016, 02:05:22 PM

Death seems like a preferable alternative to being a slave, so I'd scream from the mountaintops that they were set free.

I'd be sure to discuss it with them first, however.

You are such a fuckboy

Verbatim · April 08, 2016, 02:11:14 PM

Quote from: Desty on April 08, 2016, 02:08:57 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on April 08, 2016, 02:05:22 PM
Death seems like a preferable alternative to being a slave, so I'd scream from the mountaintops that they were set free.

I'd be sure to discuss it with them first, however.
You are such a fuckboy

I'm better than you.

🂿 · April 08, 2016, 02:14:39 PM

Quote from: Sandtrap on April 08, 2016, 02:01:41 PM

Quote from: Quinn Mallory on April 08, 2016, 01:59:50 PM
Oh and if my slave is female..... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You're an american so there's like an 80% chance you'll get an obese person you'd regard as unattractive.

Not in the part of America that I live in. More like 90% chance Armenian.

Quote from: Desty on April 08, 2016, 02:02:15 PM

Wow, Deci, way to waste potential. Seriously, wtf? It's like asking a genie for 10 milkshakes, or a 100 when you could just ask for the ability to create all kinds of milkshakes from thin air at ease.

I'm a simple guy. I ask for simple things, I keep life simple.

DAS B00T x2 · April 08, 2016, 02:22:12 PM

Oh my God

I can finally have a friend.

🍁 Aria 🔮 · April 08, 2016, 02:28:13 PM

Treat them as an equal, I guess. Better than getting them killed.

Coomer · April 08, 2016, 02:36:23 PM

Just treat him like a roommate I guess

PSU · April 08, 2016, 02:41:09 PM

What would I do? Enjoy the free yardwork.

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · April 08, 2016, 02:45:44 PM

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challengerX · April 08, 2016, 02:46:01 PM

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🂿 · April 08, 2016, 02:46:29 PM

Quote from: ねこ on April 08, 2016, 02:45:44 PM

Quote from: Quinn Mallory on April 08, 2016, 01:59:50 PM
Oh and if my slave is female..... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Poor gal is probably gonna kill herself seeing as hell is a better option than this

Dude it was a stupid joke. I would never rape anybody.

Incan · April 08, 2016, 02:48:48 PM

Set them free tbh fam.

challengerX · April 08, 2016, 02:49:00 PM

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Desty · April 08, 2016, 02:52:09 PM

What are you guys talking about? You won't have a friend because you have a slave, they'd treat you as that person they have to be around. Y'know, when those popular people that don't like you have to ask to borrow your charger or something like that.

Desty · April 08, 2016, 02:53:02 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on April 08, 2016, 02:11:14 PM

Quote from: Desty on April 08, 2016, 02:08:57 PM
Quote from: Verbatim on April 08, 2016, 02:05:22 PM
Death seems like a preferable alternative to being a slave, so I'd scream from the mountaintops that they were set free.

I'd be sure to discuss it with them first, however.
You are such a fuckboy
I'm better than you.

I agree, better than me at being a bad person.

SecondClass · April 08, 2016, 02:54:09 PM

force them to watch and analyze every episode of community with me

🂿 · April 08, 2016, 02:56:09 PM

Quote from: challengerX on April 08, 2016, 02:49:00 PM

Quote from: Quinn Mallory on April 08, 2016, 02:46:29 PM
Quote from: ねこ on April 08, 2016, 02:45:44 PM
Quote from: Quinn Mallory on April 08, 2016, 01:59:50 PM
Oh and if my slave is female..... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Poor gal is probably gonna kill herself seeing as hell is a better option than this

Dude it was a stupid joke. I would never rape anybody.
Yeah because she sure as hell wouldn't consent to fucking you.

Oh I'm sorry Challenger, I didn't know you were a lezbo female since you muted me. Guess I'll make you the exception. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

challengerX · April 08, 2016, 02:58:06 PM

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Desty · April 08, 2016, 03:01:25 PM

Something tells me Deci is on the verge of committing suicide

🂿 · April 08, 2016, 03:12:37 PM

Quote from: Desty on April 08, 2016, 03:01:25 PM

Something tells me Deci is on the verge of committing suicide

Nah, I'm just being an ass.

Quote from: challengerX on April 08, 2016, 02:58:06 PM

Quote from: Quinn Mallory on April 08, 2016, 02:56:09 PM
Quote from: challengerX on April 08, 2016, 02:49:00 PM
Quote from: Quinn Mallory on April 08, 2016, 02:46:29 PM
Quote from: ねこ on April 08, 2016, 02:45:44 PM
Quote from: Quinn Mallory on April 08, 2016, 01:59:50 PM
Oh and if my slave is female..... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Poor gal is probably gonna kill herself seeing as hell is a better option than this

Dude it was a stupid joke. I would never rape anybody.
Yeah because she sure as hell wouldn't consent to fucking you.

Oh I'm sorry Challenger, I didn't know you were a lezbo female since you muted me. Guess I'll make you the exception. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
literally what

You blocked me when I tried to send you a PM. Pussy.