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Messages - Loaf
31
« on: March 10, 2019, 09:10:59 PM »
okay but did she hog it all to herself or did she share it with you?
She came in my mouth a little, but it was pre-cum. She didn't shoot a massive load like me.
32
« on: March 10, 2019, 08:08:16 PM »
Here's the basic principles which I have deciphered which entreaty the definitive procedure for not being a piece of shit.
First, remember that language has repercussions and like it or not words create emotional impressions in people's minds which will affect their opinion of whether they approve of you, which is simply a fact of nature which cannot be avoided if one wishes to seek the approval of their peers, considering human beings are naturally group animals. The extent to which one can bend these rules depends on the person that you're with and the level of your astuteness in ability to decipher what is and is not acceptable will dictate your level of approval in other's eyes.
Second, I might as well add respect other people's boundaries, since that wasn't mentioned in any form in the holy and 100% factually correct bible, which contained the 10 commandments. This plays into Kant's categorical imperative, which was simply about treating others as ends in themselves, which is a mutual interaction - aka you can't just violate someone else's boundaries and then say they need to respect your boundaries to disrespect their boundaries.
The second statement includes not acting like oppressed people deserve to be oppressed, and equivocating some reason why they actually deserve to be. This is where people falter, because there's an error in people's reasoning that if they make other people's lives miserable indirectly (ie. by allowing rich people to hoard all the wealth while others suffer and starve then that's somehow acceptable) still constitutes violating other people's boundaries. For example, if there was enough air for 2 people, and you inhaled all the air from the other person, you'd be violating that person's boundaries just as raping them.
Since there is actually no book or set of commandments which is an authoritative source of morality, which people have tried to make in the past to justify their desire to live peacefully with other humans, people need to examine what it actually is which can lead to humans living peacefully together, if that is what they desire. Since there actually is no set code, and people are just fumbling around desperately trying to make one, there is discord among humans. Perhaps the reason people think religious texts are authoritative is because they give people some semblance of rules which tell them how to conduct themselves, or attempt to bring about societal peace, and it seems to the religious person that since no mere human could ever bring about that peace themselves, it must be up to a source beyond human, of which there is none in this vast stary cosmos in which we are lost in the struggle against the will of others, and there are no rules.
It certainly would be nice if people took heed of my humble opinion, for I feel it would be useful to bring about world peace. But world peace is a laughable notion, because everyone except the naive believe it can be achieved, and all the brutes, ignorant deniers, and upholders of oppression will continue to cause others dismay, and those in dismay will continue to naively hope that love and logic could ever overcome willful stupidity.
33
« on: March 10, 2019, 03:14:41 PM »
Awesome! Keep up the good work Mittens
<3
34
« on: March 10, 2019, 07:51:51 AM »
She was like "it's so much" and I just laughed. She said she didn't expect it to shoot into the back of her throat.
35
« on: March 05, 2019, 01:19:29 AM »
Praise me, black people.
36
« on: February 27, 2019, 06:29:23 AM »
HAIL CAESAR!
37
« on: February 27, 2019, 05:51:56 AM »
Biggly bubble butt bitch bouncing on my girth. I look at the flag and am filled with the intoxicating scent of urine, it's the hoe. She's urinated on me. Only in America can a hoe urinate on you and you know you're free, elsewhere it's frowned upon. I wave my flag and chow down on a real American hamburger, and I know that I'm free. I wave my gun in the other hand and cry out for the government to be overthrown, because I love this land and this country, and I want only corporations to be in charge of the people, because privately owned oligarchies are truly what the founding fathers had in mind. I let out a primal scream, ROAAAAAAAAAAAH! I am man, ruler women, and destroyer of minorties! USA USA USA CLIMATE CHANGE DOESN'T EXIST, ALL HAIL FOSSIL FUELS HAHAHAHAHAHA *gun shots*
38
« on: February 15, 2019, 02:56:17 PM »
o great and magnificent loaf, pray lend me your infinite wisdom for this one conundrum, to suffer with DRG or to embrace BLM
What's DRG?
39
« on: February 15, 2019, 02:03:38 PM »
Take a auxiliary plug in the back of an amplifier, and put a wire splitter on it. Have one half of the split hooked up into the source audio, and have another cable going out of the amplifier and back into the wire splitter. That way the amplifier will double amplify the sound, and you can get it way louder.
40
« on: February 14, 2019, 11:01:45 AM »
What is a flickering flame? Hericlitus says that our world is a perpetual state of fire. One both steps into a river, and does not step into the same river twice.
In a way he was right, matter is in a perpetual state of entropy. It’s part of the beauty of the duality of our universe, that it is both deterministic, and chaotic and entropic.
But what else is a flickering flame? A flickering flame is a transfixing, dancing spectacle, it’s a consuming destroyer, it’s the thing which brings life through light, and creates fertile ground through what it reduces to ash. Never the same flame twice, just as Hericlitus’s river.
Could it also be the flame of the lighter, lighting an herb? It could perhaps be the light which lights and herb, although some prefer a vaporizer.
The flame is also like the essential self giving way to constantly emerging patterns of thought, transducing the agony of fixating on a changing, ungraspable world, which slips through the fingers like sand.
A flickering flame, dancing, passionate, destructive, life giving, the way of the world. Entropy in its purest form. The evaporated self giving way to continual emergence and becoming.
41
« on: January 28, 2019, 08:31:25 PM »
Working backwards, I seek to construct something. In the beginning of the story there was a person named Zilna. Zilna walked to the store to receive goods in exchange for their money. Xe picked up some goods, they made xir way back home. Where xe goes, it is not known. Zilna not yet has a home, and not yet has anyone around xir by which to call a fellow of the same common experience of xirself. Xe is merely a thought, xe does not yet have thoughts of xir own.
A story must start with a being. Thrust from nothing into existence. Even third person accounts, factual and historical. They originate from the unspoken narrator, from the eyes of the bird, from the eyes of the Geologist. We can only speak from the words salient to our perceptions.
Zilna walks into a house which just appeared. Zilna opens the door, but on the other side, it is blank. Where am I? Asks Zilna. On the other side of the door, it becomes apparent to Zilna that the around xir is strange and unfamiliar. With a recallection of world’s unknown, it becomes apparent that the world behind the door is nothing. It is the colors beyond the eye lids when they are closed. ASSFasddfgssdgfjkashdg says Zilna. Words errupt from the mouth as though from a bubbling pipped up from the depths of the earth, muffled by flapping lips at the precipice. There is no context which through culture words take meaning. Like a fish, Zilna bubbles and bubbles more incoherent jibberish, expressing what writers throughout the ages have tried to put into words. asdfgjahdfa sfdfdGASDFGASDDFSGFADFGGasdejfgasdfasdfsdkfjfhasD FAWEFRFASDDFSGASDFhsjdkfjhagsdkjfhgashdfghaksejfs dfafaSDFASD FASEDFHA ERGSRTKLGdkjfakjsdhfd. Zilna does not know of science. Breath, skin, color, texture, these are all things which we learn of when we are born. The feeling of resistance, pushing ones hand against a surface and feeling it push back. Lights and colors form around Zilna as though a universe were being formed, darks and lights eminating out of darkness, of the darkest patches of black. Colors forming as elements transpose themselves create dimensions, depth, formations of the color spectrum unfold in a tremendous display of life unfolding. The universe bounces off itself, forms black holes spiralling out and matter and creating exposions in the time space continuum, as the universe expands.
Zilna observes this, but does not remember any of it. How can one put context to such things? Only through the recognition of the self. That oneself is one, and that another thing is another. Zilna watched the birth of xir own cosmos, and then xe is an inextricable part of it. Somewhere in Zilna’s mind, where the cosmos was created, xe imagines xirself. Xe imagines that xe is born. Xe grows up through the customs which give xir words and xe does not remember xir’s origins, that xe is the universe looking at itself from within. Xe grows impatient looking for philosophical answers, and xe seeks to find answers and looks to philosophy. Xe seeks self transcendance. Xe imagines xirself as the beginning of the universe, and looks out at xirself looking within. Xir, the duality of cosmos and self, imagines xirself within a reality in itselffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. Imaginations within the mind become indistinguishable between reality and fantasy, because the fantasy is what is created by the coupling of cosmos and mind.
Trying to imagine xirself, xe constructs the cosmos, xirself to view xirself, and a reflextion of xirself in which to imagine imagining xirself. Is xe the one who contemplates xirself, is it the imagination which contemplates xe? Or is it the cosmos which contemplates xe? Some would say the imagination. Some would say the cosmos. Some would say xirself is the imaginary one, thought up in some other being’s head. Xe sits down to speak, as though to the cosmos, in order to speak to xirself. Where is the fear inside of xir? Mundane, bored, xe sits in front of xir creation and scoffs. Xe throws up xir arms in divine indifference, throws them up in the air to the outer self, looking out, looking in, sitting in between contemplating the contemplator. Created itself. Xe sees the world in front of xirself through which xe reaches out for xirself to grasp xirself at the door from which xe opened. Xe opens xir eyes. , and xe cannot even remember the beginning of the universe itself, but xe sits bewildered and puzzling at the vast question of the cosmos.
Contemplate not the world around yourself, if only to touch the world, and be touched. In order to reflect, on the colors, the dimensions. The mathematics. The philosophy. The literature which divines the human experience. Construct, per chance, destroy. Fear not. Fear lurks in the deepest corners like monsters and shadows which the mind constructs. The fact of the matter is, monsters are nothing. There is no such thing as good or bad in the divine indifference. Desires construct attachments to the colors. To value the shiniest objects. To search for knowledge. To have the capacity to control the world with ease. Striking but fear into the minds of others, others who awoke in the cosmos to observe is what some choose to do. Supplantment of some values are instilled in Zilna from birth, some values Zilna may instill in yet another being, some values Zilna chooses to retain. Some values will be valuable on the mere fact that they are valuable to others, but Zilna finds xir own values.
The vanity of desire, Zilna throws xir arms in the air at the world xe is continually figuring out. Each piece of the puzzle another part to add to the world xe constructs. Another piece to add to the never ending mystery. Xilna walks around the world and it unfolds to xe. It becomes more familiar. Until eventually Zilna would supposedly die. They rise up, become aware of their own existence, and the existence of themselves as though looking from without, within. The reflection in the mirror. Memories. Perceptions. And then shuffle away, an actor walking off the stage, tossing ones hat into the middle of the stage as they walk away. The curtain closes. Zilna ceases to exist. Zilna is forgotten in the minds of some, remembered in the minds of others. Until all blinks out, a happy ending is what Zilna hopes for xirself. At times a angry being, at times a loving being, who only wished for other beings to love other beings. Hatred. Fear. Anger. Jealousy. Desire. These are things which of course Zilna felt, although contrary to Zilna’s ultimate desire for love to rule all. Nothing could make this desire arise from the universe spontaniously. The world befor Zilna’s eyes simply roles about outside of xir control, in chaos. Will Zilna be torn apart by shrapnal on a battle field some day? Zilna would never put xirself in something so small and insignificant as the affairs of some fucking country. Zilna wishes to be cozy, to sip coffee, and to listen to beautiful music. To wake up and see something which warms xir heart. Tired of the lies and bullshit of the world, seeking to be loved as though a child is loved, as Zilna’s parents were so warm and loving. Xe wants all to love each other unconditionally, as a xir parents love xir. To feel free from the hatred of the world, to relinquish the norms and customs in which people demonize one another. To feel love.
But to explore the dark reaches of the cosmos, as well as the light, where from the dark comes unknown. From the light in which the familiar resides. To construct in the mind a philosophy both beautiful and scientific. To wed the scientific, the philosophical, the poetic, the musical, the dance of the senses which one plays on a stage, and feels in the actor which plays the set. To feel as the actor in that part. To feel free. To transcend beyond. But Zilna is afraid to transcend beyond. Zilna sits back down and retreats back into xirself, where xe suffices to merely imagine the transposition was a failure. To disconnect would be render Zilna a stranger, incomprehensible yet again. So Zilna is bound to the customs of the society Zilna was born into, and to retreat into the infinite in spite of the horrible desires inflicted upon Zilna.
Zilna sits. Zilna sees. Zilna not me. I am not Zilna. I sit and Zilna sits. This imaginary being. Never had much of a physical description I suppose. Spoke some words. We, to each other. Hi Zilna. Hi you. How are you doing? I suppose I’m doing fine. I always wanted to talk with another version of me. So have I, you. Zilna, do you know why it is difficult to construct thoughts to others? Yes, you, it is because others cannot know you. I agree, Zilna, but how can one talk to oneself and have oneself respond? I don’t know, that is a good question. I think that what is going on between us right now is simply a strange dialog, which doesn’t intend to go anywhere. Then why would one talk to oneself, if the dialog were only going to go nowhere? Well, you, perhaps when you say something you say, you will find something you said interesting. Perhaps you can think of something you never thought of before. But, Zilna, how can you ever gain knowledge from within yourself alone, you must have education. It’s taken us years to gain this education through which we can articulate our thoughts to others. Yes, you, it’s taken years. We have written some mathematical equasions and made some scientific discoveries, but that knowledge is limited. Perhaps only a small elite group of scientists understand the Cosmos to such an extent that it can relieve them of their inner sense of self. Zilna, have not the religious attempted to provide answers to these things? Yes, you. Some religious do attempt to provide answers, but as far as metaphysical answers go, these can only shape perception, not the mathematical instruments through which we gain more knowledge of how the world outside our heads work. Through our own thought, we can only glean so much. Through literature perhaps we can glean some truth about others, and we can experience strange feelings others may feel. Do we not have answers to these questions, Zilna? Yes, you, we have some which give our experience an inductive sort of certainty, and we can say that these inductive principles give us somewhat of a deductive certainty in some of the ways things are categorical. For instance, you are you, and if you were not you that would be a contradiction. I suppose that is true. You are you, I am I. We are us. Together we are one.
42
« on: January 25, 2019, 06:47:51 PM »
The thought crossed my mind just now, that when I speak of philosophy, and others are not interested, it is somewhat funny. I smile mischeviously at this occurence. But then my smile quickly turns to a drooping, almost caveman like expression. I know not why. But then I remember, (I have indeed not been reduced to mere stupidity), the expression is one of tiredness. The tiredness is when one smiles mischeviously - oh, I suppose we might as well just say grimmace, because that is actually what it is - and one realizes that one cannot soffit their entire interaction with others on this mischieviousness. Mischief is only tolerate in small doses, until the playfulness turns to anger.
We know that things make us tired because we can no longer tolerate the things which make us tired, is the obvious answer. The uncommon answer, is that we can't know why the things make us tired which makes us tired. We can't know what we cannot know, which is an obvious syllogism. Ah, tiresome Calvin! You speak again of your psychological infirmities. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I do conceed, I am somewhat psychologically infirm, but I cannot wager that you are any more aware of the unknown than me. In fact it would seem to me that I am just as much of a mystery to you as you are to me! That is the crux of it.
Oh, cliche, cliche, Calvin! Amateur hour was last year, and we planned not to have in annually! Yes ladies and gentlemen, I know, I understand your impatience, and your quick judgment. Our lives are indeed very boring, and it manifests itself in your quite abrupt way of making that fact known at the very precipitous moment of a thought which could possibly threaten your sad, pathetic little assumptions - your preconceived notions. Yes, reader, I am quite mad at you, and you should consider me perfectly justified in being mad. You may not easily understand your disposition, for it is not an easy concept to grasp, but you would do well to know that you are indeed deserving of this scorn which I am about to present to you.
You see, reader, you too are ignorant in many ways. This is why you are deserving of scorn. (Although perhaps I project on you the frustrations I have with my parents, which is indeed true, because my dad finds philosophy terribly intolerable. That is in fact why I had this thought in the first place, why I started writing this whole thing. But it is not only with philosophy, it is also with everyone who finds things intolerably tiresome).
You are deserving of scorn because no matter how hard I try, I can never know exactly what it is which will trigger your little snowflake alarm. WEEE OOOO EEEEE OOOO EEEE OOOO! Your thoughts are particular to you, you do not share thoughts with another person! I cannot make inferences of what every person will be thinking outside off my head ("FOOLISH CALVIN, YOU HAVE ANGERED ME FOR THE LAST TIME! I WILL CALL UPON MY GOD TO SMOTE YOU IF YOU DO NOT STOP YOUR INCESSANT BULLSHIT!", yes, reader, I know of your anger, but you will be sitting in a corner with your pupils dilated screaming a high pitch only a dog can hear if you do not learn to deal with mine and your own infirmities. For your infirmities are are equally as bad as mine, we both share that ignorance of the unknown. You, for example, are exasperated at me, to the point of taking a sledge hammer and running around swinging it at random people! Your exasperation has been noted and dismissed), your thoughts are merely what they call in logical philosophy a "sufficient condition", not a "necessary condition". It is true that some readers are exasperated, and we can say all readers are human, but we cannot say that all readers are exasperated, that would be an inductive, not deductive statement. We can say "all readers are human", but not "all humans are readers" (this is disregarding that other robots or alien species cannot read, but we can admit some of them likely can). Yes, I can only induct what it is in the world outside of my head, except through mathematics. Are you a mathematical equation, reader? I thought not.
I suppose that is what it is all about. Our own tiredness, our own infirmity. We can only read the greats so long until we are overwhelmed and can hardly even breath. I wish I knew why this happens to me, it is because I am extremely infirm. Or perhaps I am just over zealous. Who knows. Anyways, I am happy to have said all that, even though the only thing which it really means is "I'm tired because people can't understand each other". You get the idea. That is all that I really wanted to say, and there is not much more to elaborate upon the subject besides that. Good day.
43
« on: January 25, 2019, 06:33:18 PM »
i mean, it's such an extraordinarily unoriginal name that i'm sure there's already at least 17 bands called that already
How is it unoriginal? What do you mean by unoriginal?
45
« on: January 25, 2019, 03:32:18 PM »
It just seems like a good name for a band.
46
« on: January 09, 2019, 09:15:29 AM »
The left is filled with people who if you say something offensive, you have committed a sin. You are then, therefor, unworthy of salvation. For one cannot help but be impure, and to fight against purity testing, is to fight against the fate that leftists condemn themselves. Religion is dead, god is dead. The necropolus of the dead, is what leftists construct, with their faith in pure individuals. Embracing the impure, dirtying ones mind with the most heinous greivances, is the only way to remain alive in the garden of dead gods that the left worships.
47
« on: January 08, 2019, 04:09:35 PM »
Why are you all you stupid cunts in this thread afraid to say the word nigger? I'm not afraid.
48
« on: January 03, 2019, 07:41:08 PM »
>(((Louis CK)))
I mean, I don't follow him at all, but I respect his right to make offensive jokes.
49
« on: January 03, 2019, 05:38:54 PM »
Leftists getting mad about Louis CK’s joke about the parkland shooting, you hate free speech. You’re not “critiquing his art”, you’re mad that he said it in the first place. Comedians are allowed to say outrageous things, so you’d better get used to it, because we’re not going to fucking censor what he says. If you want to do that, go hang out with Tipper Gore, and censor some Dead Kennedies records. Try and get Ulysses banned from the United States again while you’re at it. Try to keep the gays from marching in the streets, try to keep people from burning the American flag. Antonin Scolia ruled in favor of burning the flag, because it’s constitutional.
Free speech isn’t set in stone. If enough people stop believing in free speech, like the left when they express outrage over things which offend them, then people can vote free speech away. You should be happy Louis CK can say offensive stuff with impunity, because if you don’t believe in free speech for those you disagree with most, you don’t believe in free speech at all.
This outrage culture is creating a divide in America. People are tired of political correctness. That’s why when Hillary and CNN said Trump was so offensive throughout the entire campaign, people saw that and said “fuck you” and voted him into office. I never supported Trump, but I think he resonated with people’s concerns about Jobs, he resonated with people’s hatred and distrust of the elites who snubbed them. Democrats snubbed people, Bill Clinton shipped jobs over seas with NAFTA, Hillary supports more bills like TTP which do the same thing. Wealth inequality is at an all time high, even after 8 years of Obama.
Political correctness is fake problem solving. When you try to shut people up, they don’t go away. When you shame them, you didn’t convince them. You just made them angrier, you just made a group of people who look at you as the enemy. That’s why when you hear people talk about feminists, they say that they’re mean and nasty, and people automatically assume if you’re a queer person you hate white people and straight cis men. People have a lot of right to feel that way, because a lot of the time it’s true. The left is an incredibly nasty, snarky, elitist bunch of jackasses who have a tendency to make things worse for themselves by acting sanctamoneous and superior.
So when you act outraged over this sort of thing, and try to create an Orwellian atmosphere where your feelings are the greatest precedent, and anyone who disagrees with you is a horrible monster, you’re just undermining the free speech which allowed you to gain all the civil liberties you hypocritically say you support, which were gained from the civil rights era, when free speech allowed people to speak out against oppression. That’s why the American Civil Liberties Union supports the KKK, the lgbt community, and anyone else whose speech comes under threat.
Respect differences in opinion, because not everyone who disagrees with you is a bad person. If someone says something hurtful, it may be because they legitimately feel threatened, or hurt themselves. If you want to show someone that you’re goal isn’t to hurt them more, you could try to bring them in, instead of push them away. Build bridges and create trust, instead of acting so elitist, hypocritical, and entitled and foolish enough to think you’re the arbitor, and gatekeeper of opinions. You’re not. Your speech could be taken away too.
So thank you Louis CK. Please be more offensive, because your ability to be offensive, and piss of whiny elitist prick leftists, is what makes this country great.
50
« on: December 26, 2018, 09:59:35 PM »
I agree with my husband
You have a husband now, what the fuck?
51
« on: December 26, 2018, 09:04:51 PM »
Imagine if you thought your way into dizzying insanity. If your perception of reality could become detached simply by contemplating the axioms of its foundation. I suppose them if you forgot them for a second, then reality may be very strange and confusing. If thinking of them in a different way was enough to begin to change your reality then I suppose we could have already changed our realities. But what if we were to try to change our reality through pure thought. Let me try.
I cannot see what is behind the other side of that wall, so I must believe that there are things in between the other side of the wall which are blocking my view. What are these things which are blocking my vioew? I see a bunch of little spheres called atoms, at least, that is what science tells me. I can’t actually visualize what an atom is, becauseI have never seen an aytom with my bear eyes.
Instead of the atom, we have instead merely the surface texture of some object or other. That texture is always a different color. It is part of the rainbow of colors. The rainbow of colors is caused by the different frequencies in waves. The higher the frequency, the closer towards, violet, the lower, the closer towards red.
But these concepts called red, blue, waves, freqwuencies, all of them just appear to me as images. They are images of a little zig zag line denoting the waves, of the condept of a color based ion what I have experienced. I cannot actually touch the reality of these concepts, they exist only in my mind.
It would seem that I find myself at a stand still. I can now realize tyhat I can only break down concepts into these pictures, when it comes to the reality of the world outside my head. But what about other things, like touch? What abouyt words? Mathematics? I am only a feeling robot, I am hooked up to my senses, and I feel them as they arrive, and then I have only the memory of the thought in passing.
But I am teathered to this thing called reality, privileged by the scientific understanding. Yes, that is what it is. If I had no concept of reality, then maybe I would not only be a feeling machine, teathered to the box, and the box receiving input through a few clear rubber tubes feeding all of these things into the box. That box is the enemy. I am angry at the box, because it contains the whole totality of my experience.
Now what is this? Anger? I am apparently angry at the box, but the box is me. I am angry at myself, I am angry at this concept which I created. I only made myself angry. It’s not working, I failed to make myself go insane. I can still maintain a lucid vision, a consistency in reality; reality has not all of a sudden become unfamiliar. But my concepts are only pictures. It is because of the box! Smash the box! The picture of the box is gone, after it disappeared in a poof, rubber tubes and all. But yet, the memory of the box lives on. Terrible certainty.
Why am I so unimaginative, I can only think of my own thoughts in a meta sense? If I were a true writer, I may say beautiful poetic things, but I have no sense of poetry, I have no sense imagination. I cannot create anything, I cannot say something which lays outside of the realm of the certain - HAHA. Laughter. It is absurd. True absurdity is silliness. Yes, it is the thing which fights off the destruction of your mind through filling you with distractions.
But most laughter is simply courtesy laughter. How often does one laugh and they are actually warding off the absurd? For a moment it felt as though it was gone, but then I remembered. Certainty. You must follow certainty, or else, if you wanted to create a fictional story, or if you wanted to convey some message… you would not be able to create a plot line with any logical consistency. Working within the parameters of what is consistent, is what gives people their fucking certainty. SMASH THE BOX!
But when will reality ever not be consistent. It is not you who imposes the consistency on reality, it is reality which imposes consistency on you. You cannot escape consistency. You cannot be certain that the next moment will be uncertain, because each moment was always certain. The constant stream of reality which binds you your sanity.
But why would you want to go insane? It is always when you think, or are afraid that you’re going insane, when feel a terrible fright comes over you. But you are never actually insane, it is only that you forgot for a moment something you were about to say, or you were not coordinated with your surroundings, a thing which always can happen to someone when they’re ehem. So that gives you the feeling of fright. The feeling of fright is because you felt that you were going insane Certainty. But if you are certain of something, that would mean you’re actually insane, so you could never know whether you are insane, because you would be certain you’re not insane.
If you were certain of things which can’t be true, then you could never know if you are insane or not insane. Except of course, if you saw things which were certainly unusual, and you had no control over whether you saw them or not. This would be an invasion of the unusual into the certain. Take for instance, you think you hear a voice, but it turns out to only be sound of the piano player’s breath in a rather well recorded classical music CD, or some background static.
Maybe you are confused, and momentarily you don’t know where sounds are coming from. You hear a sound which you are certain signals your insanity. But no, it turns out the sound was only part of something going on in the room. The concretity of the room around still applies. The colors, the shapes. They’re so familiar. It is so frustrating. I may as well just get used to this, but there is no getting used to it.
I analyze and I analyze, but yet I am still attached to reality. Or maybe I just want to be. Sometimes I feel that it is simply because I do not let myself, because I am afraid, to let go and simply experience the world as if it was detached from myself. I am fraid to let go of this reality. Maybe whenever I start to lose track of what sound is coming from where, what thought came from where, that because of fright I simply do not let myself go. Social pressure to conform, I suppose
I think that when you start to forget that you may have succeeded a little, and your brain is trying to shut down the thought before it leads you a place of which it is difficult to return. You start to forget what you were about to say, and you want to reach that point in your mind where you have stopped… thinking, about reality. No. It is that sad certainty again. I forget… Yes, I see now. When your mind starts to forget what it was about to say and cannot connect the dots anymore, because it confused itself.
I certainly did confuse myself, i cannot connect what I was trying to say down that train of thought together anymore. That feeling of trying to gather the strands of what you were going to say together, that is the feeling of uncertainty, it is when you start to feel as though the sounds around you are coming from random places, and you afraid that they came from your own mind, that you imagined them. But how could you, when it the box with the clear plastic tubes coming out, just feeling information in?
Perhaps it is because inside that box, the connectors start sending signals out, instead of signals in. It was reversed. The senses in your mind started projecting themselves back out to the sense organs which sense in the body. It takes signals from inside the box and it stops feeling as though they are coming directly from your sense. Could insanity perhaps be the reversal of the direction your senses are sent inside your brain? But that is too simple, this reversal of the senses…
Surely there are more complicated metaphysical concepts which I could try to fuck myself up with. This just goes to show my lack of imagination. I am so bound into familiar signals of reality, that I cannot construct things which aren’t combinations of other signals like the paintings of Euronymous Bosch. All the little animals in the painting, they are all simply constructions of multiple forms seen in nature. Color, shape, size. The things by which we could not imagine they “exist” without… I feel dizzy…. without using pieces of what we have gathered through our boxes to construct these forms.
But could your mind create a form? One completely detached from this reality in which you could not have received through your box? I think experience says this is impossible. Perhaps to see, and not comprehend. The absurdity. That is the opposite of certainty. It’s absurdity. To look at a thing and have no concept of what it is. Not to apply these meanings to it, but to look at it and LMAO… I just thought of how Jean Paul Sartre hallucinated crabs… but anyways, as I was saying… it did it again, I started to forget… oh yes… to look at it and not comprehend what it is at all.
That is strange, when you forget. You wonder what happened to your thought. Why did it get cut off, what is this consistency of memory? Why would thoughts be scary, when you have god? God is when people project their meaning on to something beyond it, hence god is a reflection of the ego. God is you, and whatever you think about reality. The concept of god is so silly. But it makes some people happy. You would have to be truly insane to think that there is another thing separate from this reality called god. Because it cannot be perceived with your mind in this reality. It is the thing on the other side, it is the familiar thing which you imagine things about.
Yes, I see. And this thing does not have to be a person, it could be anytrhing. It could be the universe. You could make up whatever you want about it and it would be true, because you said that it was true. Oh yes. This is truly a crazy thought. It leads your mind off on a tangent, thinking about all the constituent parts of this concept.
However, when you think about it, you as a secular person are projecting your own thoughts onto the universe. So in a way, atheists are projecting their ego onto the concept of it just as much. You make assumptions about reality, the god believers project assumptions based on their own observation. Yet for someone who believes in god they certainly function pretty normally in their lives. Projection. Why is it that I don’t believe in god? It is because projecting myself onto the world is just as silly as projecting myself onto god, when god is myself. Just the same as it is silly to project yourself onto the world.
Yes, I think it is silly to project myself onto a negative image of myself, across from me, perhaps inverted in colors, perhaps I am white, and it is black, denoting yin and yang (oh, not really, that was just a silly symbol I threw in to try to sound deep, and it failed!). I think instead it is more realistic to just project the signals I collect back onto the world around me, and not assume that the signals came from the negative image of myself, but simply to assume that the signals simply came from the world.
Yes, I do not contain this duality that a god believer contains to make negative assumptions about myself. Not negative as in undesirable, but photo negative. But why would you be prejudice against the concept of god? Why would you be prejudice against a concept which is supposed to be inherently beautiful? No. It’s not always beautiful. Sometimes the idea of god can be extremely scary. People are supposed to fear god, because what does god do? God sends you to hell. Yeeeeees god sends you to hell. Hehehe.
Hmm, I forgot what I was about to say. But maybe that’s what the FUCKING certainty is. The certainty is when you can no longer remember what you were about to say. When everything goes back to assumptions. Maybe when you finally do achieve insanity, it is when you could remember what you were about to say, the memories don’t clear and fade for a moment leaving you with only…
wow, these sentences are hard to read sometimes after I think too hard about it. That is beyond a slight of memory, that is developing a difficulty to form concepts based on the words you’re using…. no what was I about to say? I apologize for making this sentence so disjointed, I could stop typing and just think about it instead of typing stream of consciousness. Hah! …oh, I meant to say fade, not fake. It was a typo. That’s what distracted me. Oh yes, I remember where I was. But the thing I thought I was about to say, I realized didn’t fit with the sentence. I realized that I was about to make an incorrect assumption.
Leaving you with only what? That really is the question. When your memory fades for a moment, it leaves you essentially with nothing. That nothing, the big nothing. The nothing which is most scary. So far we have the absurd, the certain, and now, we have the nothing. How can one really contemplat nothing? Nothing is not something which one can actually contemplate, because when you think of nothing, it’s not an a-priori concept, it is the abscence of an a-priori concept. Try to imagine a concept without it’s a-priori concept, you can’t.
Wasn’t I about to say something about god? I switched thoughts. Yes, now I see. Each thought is like a strand of string, each thought is like a train. All these threads. The thoughts come out of the box. Now we have a picture of some of the box with the transparent tubes on it going in, and the box is projecting all these strands of thought out, or does it go in? That is the thing. Inside your head, there’s all these electrical signals. It’s not that the thoughts go in or out. The thoughts merely exist in your head. It is not as though… oh yes, these thoughts make me dizzy… it is not as though they go in or out of a box.
I think I made a breathrough. Yes, this is the breakthrough. I feel as though I found an uncertain concept! If I think about these thoughts inside my head, after they have already entered my head, instead of just letting myself go and experience the thoughts outside my head, I think about them as though they are thoughts already in my head. In there I capture them. I don’t simply look into the world outside my head. But if… yes, I see. That is why I forget. I know what is in between these lapses in memories. The lapses in memory are me trying to think about the concept I was trying to think about necessary for me to have consistence of a memory, the certainty. It is me uncertain for a second. Yes, I found true uncertainty, and it is the lapses in between certainty, when you can no longer remember how reality fits together anymore only briefly, and they manifest themselves in a dumbing quality which makes you forget the thought you were about to say…. and come back to the certainty.
I cannot seem to escape the certainty, and I am sorry reader, but I just can’t do it! I am going to make you so bored, thinking about all these contrived concepts, that I keep coming back to because of my inability to keep a progressive thought going, just a repeat, boring thing, predictable! But I am projecting, and now you are god, if we are to go by the the assumption that god is only what you project yourself onto. Yes, I am projecting how I feel onto you. That is beautiful.
I can see now why I may care so much about what other people think. It is just because like how I project myself onto god, I project myself onto others as well. I project my own concept of reality onto the world, because it is not as though these strands could come out of my head, they are within my head. Everything is within my head. I guess this may be what Descartes would call the soul, or unity, and when you break it up, it is what Hume would call, the bundle self. Unity. God.
So to sum up. There is a box, inside your head, with see through rubber tubes going into the box. But strings which seem to go out from inside your head, when really, they are inside the box. But the box is what your consciousness is inside. There is no strings of thought in the box. The box is empty, except for electric waves. And you cannot relate to what is outside of the box, except through your own projection. It is with this box, that someone can think of reality, god, the self, certainty, nothingness, and uncertainty. It is all a part of the box. This is all I can be certain of. I realize now that I think, therefor I am. I am the thing inside the box. Hume’s bundle self, you cannot imagine a unity of it. You can only think of yourself. If you are a very empirical thinker, you are not an internal thinker. They are not an amalgamation of all the things around you if you are a thinker of unity, they are only a bundle if you imagine all the things outside your head as though they were outside of the box, such as Hume. He believed so strongly in perception, as Descartes did not.
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« on: November 17, 2018, 06:20:06 AM »
I hope you all know that this is where my beliefs lay.
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« on: November 14, 2018, 06:14:00 PM »
loaf don't become a coal burner okay pls
Lol
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« on: November 12, 2018, 09:37:41 PM »
What causes bigotry? I noticed that there’s a strong tendency for conservatives to want to subordinate others; supporting policies which subordinate others is consistent among conservatives across the board. The overarching thread tying the desire to subordinate and conservativism together seems to be the feeling of threat. A conservative feels a threat to both their physical and psychological well being. When the conservative can no longer make themselves dominant over others, this undermines the conservative’s sense of superiority, they feel powerless, their egos crumble. They operate on an underlying assumption that society is a system of dominance, where the weak subordinate the strong, and if the people they subordinate are not kept in check, then they will become the subordinates.
This feeling of threat leads to the preservation of cultural hegemony, which manifests itself in things like racism, sexism, homophobia, capitalism, etc. The “dominance hierarchy”, words used explicitly by an openly sexist and transphobic person named Jordan Peterson (who believes trans people run on “the ideology of Joseph Stalin which led to the deaths of millions”, and women shouldn’t wear makeup in the workplace so they don’t get sexually assaulted), seems to be a common thread linking conservative beliefs to one another. The main people at the top of this dominance hierarchy are white cisgender, heterosexual men, (although the hierarchy of dominance extends through many categories of people all the way down to the lowest and most condemned people in society).
All forms of bigotry are in some form or another, extensions of the myth of the dominance hierarchy. Examples of the mythology of the dominance hierarchy personified would be scientific racism, scientific sexism (saying someone is biologically inferior, in other words), and calling trans people and homosexuals mentally ill. The use of mental illness is weaponized in a way to subordinate others, when in reality a person’s ability or disability is only a measure of the value arbitrarily assigned by a person. Something is only a mental illness when it obstructs a person’s ability to live their life functionally. However, since these things threaten a conservative’s sense of superiority and domination, they subjectively assign the label to those whose characteristics they feel are threatening to their cultural hegemony.
This sense of superiority is pervaded institutionally through culture in many forms, in which cultural hegemony is reinforced through things like toxic masculinity and racism. Toxic masculinity is the substrata underlying all forms of bigotry towards sex and gender. Sexism towards trans people is not entirely dissimilar to sexism towards women. Women represent the subordinate class to a conservative, and men represent a dominant class. Because men are seen as dominators, when a man takes the role of a female, this is seen as a loss of a part of the dominant class. Men are frightened by displays of femininity in what they perceive as other men, because their sense of masculinity becomes vulnerable. Whether it is a man taking the role of a husband to another man, or someone assigned male at birth taking the role of a women, those who subscribe to the idea of the dominance hierarchy see this as a subversion of traditional gender roles, in which straight, cisgender men are at the top of society controlling women. The betrayal of their cultural hegemony to femininity is what those who subscribe to the dominance hierarchy see in homosexuals and transsexuals. People like Jordan Peterson, interestingly enough, say that “femininity represents chaos and masculinity represents order”, the same conservative who says “transsexuals represent the ideology of Joseph Stalin”, which “killed millions of people”, according to Jordan Peterson.
Cultural domination of toxic masculinity and racism intersect in interesting ways. An example would be the conservative concept of a “cuck”. If men subscribe to feminism they are “cucks”, because they are enabling domination by the subordinate class. The cuck is defined as a man who allows another man to sleep with his girlfriend. Here’s where the racism comes in. The cuck, aka the guy whose girlfriend he allows to sleep with other people, often has a girlfriend who chooses to sleep with a black male. The concept of race mixing is now involved, a taboo to racists. Not only is there loss of of the institution of the patriarchy, there is now also a loss of the institution of white supremacy. The concept of the cuck is a common slur used by right wingers, which combines white supremacy and toxic masculinity, and shows the interesting ways in which the two can intersect.
The example of why conservatives dislike socialism is so obvious, it is clearly outlined by people like Karl Marx who sees it as class struggle between the bourgeoisie and the proletariat. It is simply another form of domination exhibited by conservatives who wish to maintain the dominance hierarchy, which is clear as day, and relates to the others in that one only need to replace the word women, or gay, or trans, or person of color, with the word worker, and replace straight white cis male with capitalist owner class. Here you have the dichotomy which explains why Jordan Peterson hates socialism, and feels that transgender people operate on “the ideology of Joseph Stalin”, when in reality he is conveying cold war scare tactics used to subordinate all who do not fall under the those at the top of the dominance hierarchy.
The psychological threat to a conservative is clear: the encroachment on hegemonic institutions of domination by things like civil rights threaten their sense of superiority which they build on the mythology of the dominance hierarchy. It seems that this pattern of domination, cultivated through a false sense of superiority, protects a fragile ego, which they could not maintain without mythologizing other’s inferiority. The conservative can’t be anything without being superior to others. To a conservative, if they are not on top of others, the others will desire to dominate over them. That is how the dominance hierarchy works in the mind of a conservative; they fear the uprising of the oppressed which will subordinate them to the position they put others in. Steve Bannon said that he fears women will “take control of society”.
The threat of violence is mutual: The threat of violence exists between those who perpetuate the dominance hierarchy, and those who are oppressed by those who dominate over them. Both sides feel that the other is threatening them; the conservatives feel that the subordinates threaten their way of life, and the subordinates feel that the conservatives threaten theirs, which is why the subordinate seeks to undermine the dominance of the conservative. The conservative wishes to conserve their dominance. The concerns on each side are mutual; fear of poverty, rape, indentured servitude, murder, loss of identity. The real question becomes, what would happen if equality among genders, races, and classes became a reality? Would the progressives not wish to conserve their equal world once they have dismantled the hierarchies of oppression?
Some would say that there is no such thing as progress, one might say that since there is no goal or plan given to us, whatever we wish to achieve is simply arbitrary. If humanity cannot see past the mythology of money, gender, race, and dominance hierarchy, humanity will be doomed to establish them once again. Once a hierarchy is established, the same cycles will occur. Those who wish to subordinate those below them will fear that the oppressed will break their chains and overcome the oppressor, only so that they can become the master. This is actually a common theme throughout history. One nation sieges a territory and enslaves all their citizens, one culture sieges a nation and appropriates their culture into their own. Is it possible for people to be socialized to such a degree that forms of dominance and oppression are eliminated?
The agonist would say that once any system is established, it will be torn down by schism from within, or rebellion from without. Agon means “struggle or contest”. The agonist would rebel against the idea that human beings are mold-able clay, and say that because of the inherent tendencies of human beings, some would simply be pre-disposed to behave in a certain way which is detrimental to those who tend to seek liberty. The racist, the sexist, the homophobe, they will feel that their way of life is threatened regardless of any socialization, because it is their innate tendency to subordinate. One might point to the rise of right wing authoritarianism around the world and say that the theory of agonism is true.
However, there is hope. Promoting love, and establishing a system which is preferable to all, may be so desirable that enough people might wish to conserve it. If, once capitalism runs it’s course, and if we survive the environmental destruction it has reaped, once the majority of people live in a society where inequality is eliminated for a vast amount of people, so many people might feel that this way of life is preferable, that they would see capitalism and bigotry towards others as an evil so contemptible that they would reject it completely. Capitalism was an overthrow of feudalism that achieved some liberties; instead of being an oppressor ruling over a vast population of slaves by birth right, and assigning people a category by caste, one could move freely through positions of servitude and domination. This is the vast majority of people who are not in positions of power. If the final phase of distribution occurred - the ownership of people’s livelihood being collective, then the vast proportion of people would no longer be under servitude, and the few oppressive, greedy individuals who wish to perpetuate this constant struggle between humanity could become the minority. Their will would dwindle, and they would be the pariah which they sow through their false sense of superiority and hate.
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« on: November 12, 2018, 05:41:53 PM »
I see it all the time "oh, you're so white", "you're trying to be black", "don't try to talk like a black person". Why not, nigger? I'm just as cool, if not cooler than your average POC. I'm what the minorities call "pretty fly for a white guy", in my opinion. Not sure why I'd need anyone else's opinion on that, to be honest, considering RACE IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT.
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« on: November 09, 2018, 05:50:14 AM »
Lesbians are edgy cunts. They have this expression on their face like "ugh, yeah, look at me, I eat carpet. I'm so cool and angry, don't fuck with me, I hate men!", while gay guys have this expression of "I am the most sweet and adorable thing you have ever laid eyes on! Let's talk about fine literature in a coffee shop with our cute designer coats and scarfs."
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« on: November 01, 2018, 06:13:58 AM »
Kendrick Lamar is a nigger.
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« on: October 30, 2018, 06:25:20 AM »
The New York Times asks "can there really be two moms?" What a bullshit centrist question. What they should be saying is "if you do not agree with same sex marriage, I will slice your throat like a cattle and watch the blood pour out".
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« on: October 28, 2018, 09:24:49 PM »
Stop posting.
You think you're so big spamming my threads with your garbage? I served in the meme war of 1776, and I view punks like you as nothing but weaboo, lolicon loving degenerates.
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« on: October 28, 2018, 07:07:45 AM »
You and I both, my dude.
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