I hate it how rape victims like to act like their life is defined by the fact that they were raped. It's like, okay we get it you're an emotionally sensitive basket case because someone fucked you when you didn't want them to. But can rape victims just stop acting like we have to be extra sensitive to them about it? Honestly just get the fuck on with your life, it's so annoying.

If you're a fat fuck, you deserve to be beaten mercilessly. There's no excuse for being fat, being fat means you're stupid and lazy. There's studies that have shown that the amount of crap we eat in our diet has risen parallel to the average weight. 2/3rds of people in the united states are over weight or obese. It's not a "condition", you are fat, lazy, and stupid, and you make poor dietary decisions. There's no excuse.

And how do you think I feel looking at dating websites? There's so many fat people, I keep scrolling through the website and I see nothing but fat people, I don't want to date someone who looks physically repulsive, I'm sorry. If you're super nice, when we get into the bedroom and you look like a fat repulsive tub of lard, we're just not going to have sex. Not only that, but what does it say about you as a person if you're fat? You're stupid, you're lazy, you can't even take care of your own body. I have no respect for fat fucks.

Both political ideologies are two sides of the same coin, because the outcome of any political party trying to control people will lead to revolt, regardless of their political ideologies and reasons. The 1960s showed what happens when you repress people sexually, it would not solve the problem of bigotry in the united states if we try to suppress it, donald trump's presidency proves this. The best possible thing to do would be to have an open dialog, so that way ideas can be heard and people can change their minds. If we preach intellectual honesty then good ideas will automatically win, because they're true, if the person who holds them is intellectually honest.

Maybe it’s futile, but I think this question seems to play through a wide range of variables of how I feel in general, it’s not just one concept I want to cover here.

The idea that free will exists hurts me to think about on a fundamental level, as a person who lives with a lot of anxiety. The idea that there will always be someone who doesn’t understand the way you behave, seems to be a universal problem for all human beings, it’s the reason why loneliness exists, and among the smartest people on the planet can feel lonely, because there will always be things inside of our mind that other people cannot understand and perhaps an intelligent person can’t even explain.

Ironically I don’t feel that intelligent, but I’ll get to that later. The idea that free will exists seems to suggest that everyone is responsible for their actions. This implies that whenever a person does something, it’s not because there are factors that influenced their behavior, but that their behavior is simply an act of their own will and governed by an independent mind. Leaving out the details of why I don’t think free will exists, this already creates a problem. It means that a person can always fall under scrutiny for their behavior, when in fact the people judging our behavior can’t even understand the way we think, or why we think. Looking at behavior from this perspective creates a scenario where a person can be judged for their actions, based arbitrarily on whether or not their behavior is good or bad.

It occurred to me that good and bad are arbitrary concepts as far back as high school, that I can remember. I realize that most people don’t think about concepts this deeply, I see this in the tendency of people to choose whatever narrative makes them feel most comfortable; I don’t. It makes me deeply uncomfortable to think what I am thinking right now, believe me. I am as far from being sanctimonious for thinking the thoughts that I’m thinking right now as I could possibly imagine. None the less, the concept that there’s good and bad behavior are the opposite, it is a sanctimonious stance to take, regardless of whether or not free will exists. It makes people think that they are superior to another person, when in fact they just don’t understand why another person behaves the way they do.

There’s no relativistic perspective here, some things aren’t more wrong than others. Everyone is inherently neutral, everyone’s actions are inherently equal. To to think the opposite - well, that’s what’s led to the entire form of society that we live in right now. Crime, punishment, guilty, not guilty, the gossip you hear vapid girls and boys walking down the street making about their peers. It all stems from this concept that people can be judged for their actions, it all stems from this hubris lie that human beings can be inherently judged for their actions. I don’t think that people realize this, but this form of thinking, this behavior which creates so much quarrel between fellow human beings, can only be possible if people accept that people are responsible for their own actions, regardless of whether or not they think that free will actually exists.

This is deeply concerning to me, because it means that I will be constantly judged for my actions, by people who don’t understand how the brain works, by people who are petty and lack understanding of my own mind, or even have a good reason to think what they may or may not think of me in the first place. This is a large dark vacuum where all knowledge and understanding is sucked out, and replaced by an empty void of judgment and vague reasoning. It pisses me off so much, that people can make these stupid, vacuous assumptions about other people, yet I don’t have any power over what they think, even if I try my best to explain why they should have empathy and patience and understanding for other people - by explaining to them why I think that free will doesn’t exist.

Free will most likely does not exist, and there’s already a lot of factors that we know play a role in why people behave the way they behave. Some of these factors include (but are not limited to, because the factors are infinite), a person’s upbringing and how this upbringing effects the development of their brain; a person’s environment, which could mean where they live and their economic and social status; the food they eat which effects the brain and the body - which effects the brain which is part of the body; a person’s genes which were passed down from their parents which dictate what behavioral traits a person will have, so much is passed down from parents. Already, we can begin to see that a person is not responsible for a lot of the factors that play into what makes them who they are. Furthermore, we don’t orchestrate what is going on inside of our head, our brains are the ones doing all the work and we just happen to notice the outcome of what goes on inside of our brain, it absorbs information from the world around us and it does all the processing, we just notice our thoughts which gives us the illusion of consciousness.

That’s another thing that baffles me, is how consciousness came to be. I honestly have no idea what consciousness is, and besides Daniel Dennett, apparently, a lot of other people don’t have much of an explanation for what consciousness is besides that it’s an illusion. I am inclined to believe that things are deterministic, (even if on a sub atomic level the universe moves unpredictably, unpredictable movements wouldn’t mean we’re free, it would just mean that our actions are more chaotic, as opposed to if everything ran like a smooth ticking clock, in which our actions are governed by the laws of physics, set forth in motion from the time that time began during the big bang). This would mean that all of our actions have been determined from the beginning of time, and that everything leading up to everything that has ever happened is completely unavoidable; everyone who has ever committed a crime was destined to end up doing it from the start. Or everything’s completely chaotic, and equally nothing is responsible for anything.

That would mean our entire concept of morality is wrong. The only ideas that seem to contradict my own that I have heard are extremely annoying. People tend to have these vague religious ideas which make no sense what so ever. I just wanted to say it here, it is so annoying. People choose to believe what they want to believe about the universe, because - and I shit you not - they have said they don’t like the idea of determinism. I’m sorry, you fucking dumbass, but it doesn’t matter if you think the sun doesn’t revolved around the earth either. There’s empirical evidence that shows that this is true, empirical evidence is the only way of accurately explaining what happens in the universe. And that’s so important, these accurate explanations, because they allow everything that you do which you might otherwise take for granted, like using a computer, people going to space, cars, phones; someone had to have evidence and rational way of thinking to make these things work.

If children are never beaten then they'll never know when to take adults seriously. You know why adults need to have this sort of control over their kids? Because adults have already learned, they have went through the mistakes and follies that children have made. Now a days we see a sense of superiority being instilled in children, and this is dangerous because it induces the Dunning Kruger Effect, where people think they're automatically experts on a subject they know very little about. Have you ever seen a kid acting up and being insufferable, and you just want nothing more than to punch it? You know they think they're immune from corporal punishment, which is why they are such smug, ignorant, arrogant, disrespectful little shits.

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You ever heard of these?

I was just thinking, that while it may be true that some people are coded to always feel bad and have unfortunate biology, I think that it's also important to point out that in some cases there is such a thing as "learned helplessness", which is where a person feels that since there's no way to ever improve, that there's no reason to ever even try to improve. As someone who has a method of improvement through philosophy and self reflection (which I admit is an extremely long and arduous process which takes years to come to effect, and a lot of times isn't even successful), I just feel that you should be really careful with how you treat psychiatric drugs unless you really need them.

I really feel that in the society we live in, a lot of what creates depression for people is societal caused. So, I often find it ironic to try to treat things like depression with drugs, if, and that's a big if, their depression is caused by society and not caused by internal factors that have to do with an imbalance in their brain chemicals. Now, i'm not saying I am in any way qualified to diagnose a person as having one of these two causes I've outlined for having depression, but I'm just saying it seems obvious that if there's different possible explanations for why a person may be depressed, then it's possible that there could be some people where the causes aren't addressed, and only the symptoms. That's something I think about a lot when it comes to pharmaceuticals and drugs, I am just very cynical and skeptical about the whole thing.

The idea that political correctness is bad is a scapegoat created and propagated by right wing media and it's impressionable followers and anyone else unfortunate enough to get infected with that mind virus meme of hating "social justice warriors".

When women are like "I'm non binary". It's like, bitch fuck you. Not because I don't think you're non-binary, but because guys have a lot more trouble saying they're non binary because of the stigmas associated with feminization of males. So you think you can just go around saying "omg I feel really masculine today!" Like, that's okay if you're actually trans and you're transitioning into a male, then you actually have an excuse. But it's really insulting when you're just like "omg I JUST FEEL SO MASCULINE TODAY, BUT HMM TODAY I FEEL FEMININE". Fuck you, bitch. If a guy acted like that he would have a lot harder time, with women everyone just thinks you're cool and a tomboy.

So, I'm reading a brief history of time, and I'm at the part where it's describing newton's second law of motion. It's a bit hard to understand these concepts without being able to visualize them, but none the less I was wondering if an object accelerates slower proportionately to it's weight, then does that same principle apply to an object that's in outer space where isn't being counteracted by the friction of the ground under it? Like, I imagine a huge airplane trying to lift off, and it obviously will go a lot slower with the same engine as a much smaller plane, because it has more matter to move. But would that same airplane accelerate at a high speed in outer space, at the same speed as a smaller plane would with that smaller engine that was faster on earth?

I would like to write a bit on my feelings of not feeling like I’m a part of this world. Perhaps I am a part of this world, in that the universe is intertwined inseparably to itself, and I couldn’t not be a part of this world if I tried. That’s not what I meant, I don’t mean some spooky pseudo scientific sense. I mean that when I try to imagine a world which is more suitable than this one for me, I’m filled with a sense of melancholy over the fact that I can imagine a world which is better suited for me, but I’m stuck in the world that I’m currently in.

Perhaps evolutionary biology is partially to blame. Human beings are vindictive, small minded, superstitious, but they got this way through a long process of evolution. It seems so easy to curse things, but at the same time I wonder why I even feel angry at things in the first place. What is it to be angry? I don’t even really know where that feelings comes from, yet it’s in me as a part of that innate process of biology ingrained in me just as much as it’s ingrained in all of those around me. I feel that I could imagine a world where I am happy, I could imagine waking up in a world where I love the government, I have respect for the people around me and I feel at home, and perhaps in this fantasy world I would even look up to those around me in general with awe, at the intelligence of human beings in general.

Maybe that sounds a bit pretentious, it is. I know that I’m basically just saying that I’m better than 90% of everyone else on this planet. But when I look around, it’s hard to not feel that way. Look at the election, look at the history of the human race and the injustices we’ve rid on others, look at the way our society works and how it seems to benefit so few and disadvantage so many. All the while I have to sit around and listen to people talk about how they think god exists, which to me seems like some sort of evolutionary flaw in the human brain. Perhaps we evolved without the need for logical thinking, mystical supernatural thinking fits in just fine with our basic need for survival and our fight or flight response, responsible for keeping us safe for so long up to this point.

It’s funny, I’ve never had any suicidal thoughts in my life, but I hear a lot of other people talking about how they’ve had suicidal thoughts. And they ask me what it is that keeps me going, and I can’t even believe that they’re asking me that question, because honestly it’s not even something that I think about. I realize that in people’s minds there’s simply certain things that some people think about, and there’s certain things that some people don’t. For instance, I realize that when I am feeling anxiety, when I’m not feeling anxiety I simply am not thinking about anxiety inducing thoughts. I know that other people who don’t feel anxiety on an average basis probably don’t sit around contemplating complex theories on how not to feel anxiety, they just don’t feel anxiety. In the same way, I guess that some people just think about suicide, and have that - what is to me - inexplicable urges of suicide, while I do not.

I don’t know what it is that keeps me from feeling that way, but I am glad that I’ve never felt that way. I think about this, because I was just laying in my bed a few moments ago, I just started reading a Brief History of Time, by Stephen Hawking, I’m about 15 pages into the book now, and while I was laying in bed my thoughts drifted to how much I dislike living in this world, while I was reading Hawking’s words and marveling at how intelligent he sounds. I almost feel urged to write about what my ideal world would be like, but then again I don’t really think that anyone would be interested in what my ideal world would be like. Much the same as when people who talk about their dreams, no one really has any interest in hearing about other people’s dreams, I don’t really think that you have any interest in knowing what my perfect world would be like.

I’ve written about my perfect world before. It does seem awfully idealist of me, to think about a perfect utopian world. I often find myself thinking about what things could be, regardless of how you could get there, I have an imagination that seems to like to develop concepts that don’t exist within the frame of reality, or seem beyond feasibility. I find myself particularly fond of futurism, the singularity, theories of a unified theory of everything (a quantum theory of gravity), trans humanism (the merging of man with machine), etc. It could be a part of my creativity, I’ve always been a very creative person. Creative in that I’m always thinking about 100 different ways to look at something, which I think also could be an effect of my anxiety. I don’t know how my brain really works though. And come to think of it, I don’t think that I could really describe my perfect world, just as Hawking can’t define a complete theory of the universe.

In my perfect world I imagine that people aren’t judgmental. You could do something and people wouldn’t think wrongly of you, you could do anything and people would look at you the way they look at a cat, if they love cats, or they would look at you the way a doctor examines a patient, with objectivity, merely to identify what the issue is. I think that it would be amazing if everyone in general was like that, curious and non judgmental, non confrontational. Of course I would also want this ideal humanity to be intelligent, and look at the facts of things, and question their own logic and weigh their own facts against the contradictions in their own logic; dismiss theories inside of their head if they find evidence that proves them to be false (like in science). It seems as though human beings dismiss evidence that conflicts with their current beliefs, and become more entrenched in their own nonsense with self serving biases.

That’s the technical, sort of constitutional side of what I imagine my perfect world would be, if I were to lay out a series of laws that would govern it to be sound and reliable. Now, if I were to just get into my most personal fantasies of what this world would be, I would also match it to my own proclivities, of course. Such a world would be sexually free, a lot of people would have bizarre fetishes and would be completely accepting of even the most disgusting, bizarre fetishes that are out there. Granted this still wouldn’t include hurting other people, but in my world, of course, there isn’t judgment. This conflates with my feelings on the justice system, it sort of unifies in my imaginary world, the fact that I don’t feel that there is real justice in this world, and I don’t believe that a truly intelligent being above arbitrary emotions, would be judgmental of a living creature such as a human being.

My feelings on the criminal justice system are basically, I don’t feel that the way we treat people is what I would consider justice. My idea of justice is one that brings balance to the universe; two wrongs don’t make a right, and what I see is a lot of wrongs basically perpetuating in a vicious circle of vindictiveness. Someone harms someone else, they’re in turn thrown into a prison where they’re treated like sub human animals, their lives are disrupted and disturbed and in some cases socially ruined. Unemployment, stigmatization. Yet these are living creatures, this does not sit well with me, not because of some rigid set of rules either, this isn’t just some mathematical philosophy that cannot be contradicted for arbitrary reasons; on a deep level it really does upset me that we live in a world where people can be punished.

Of course, in some cases it seems justifiable to punish people, right? Such as rape, torture, murder. Well, there’s certainly a lot of cases where it doesn’t feel justifiable. But also, when you’re punishing a person, a lot of times they may feel that they don’t deserve to be punished. I know that there’s times when I’ve been punished, for doing things at school or with my parents or online, where I felt that I didn’t really deserve to be punished. Sometimes when I feel this indignity, I feel that I wish that if only the person punishing me understood my train of thought, that they would no longer feel the desire to punish me anymore. That is something I do believe about the world, that if everyone basically understood each other, there wouldn’t be any hatred of frustration with one another. It’s hard to imagine a world where people don’t feel that of one another and still have characteristic traits of personality that could be considered human. Perhaps the only solution would be complete mind sharing, where you could connect with another person’s mind instantaneously, and know exactly what they’re feeling, and the totality of their existence. 

Now, that sounds like a breach of privacy, does it not? Surely though, if you understood someone on such a deep level, there wouldn’t be any need to feel embarrassed, because you would understand that person just as well as they understand themselves. And if there wasn’t the vindictive and judgmental side to human beings, then pretty much you would never be able to convince the other person with your own thoughts, nor they with their own thoughts, that you or they are somehow a bad person. I really do think that in a perfectly peaceful world, we wouldn’t have these sorts of thoughts in our heads at all. And it’s interesting to me that this seems to be such a pervasive theme that goes through my head, it goes through my head a lot, this sort of perfect world.

It’s so frustrating though, because I have this ideal version of what I feel that human beings should be inside of my head, but when I turn and gaze at the real world, I am quickly disappointed with it and I am reminded that the world that I live in is far from the world that I wished that I was living in. I suppose that brings me back to what I was talking about a little while earlier, I hope that I adequately described and explained in at least a brief and concise way, how I feel about the my discomfort with living on this planet. However, I know that my thoughts will continue evolving, I always seem to be finding new thoughts to add to the continuous snowball that keeps accumulating new ideas inside of my mind. My arguments are always evolving, my thoughts are always finding new ways of looking at things. I know that perhaps some day in the future I will be writing about this same thing again, but hopefully I can write it even more in depth, and in a way that more deeply expresses my feelings on the matter. Until then.

God does not exist and believing in the supernatural or god is the antithesis of having wonder for the universe. It's saying that I have the answers and I reject that there's things in the world that we can't know. Science is the only method of trying to understand the world which is accurate, because it's supposed to reproduce it's results consistently and reject old ideas that don't work. It's in essence, the real wonder and pursuit of knowledge in the world. A scientist has more spiritual wonder for the universe than any religious person has ever felt for the universe, because for the religious person, they have their answers and that's it. The mysteries are never solved, you go on thinking you know the answers. a scientist says, let's see if we can understand what I don't know, because I sure as hell am not going to make up my own answer.

Would that create greater music than was conceivably possible of a man?

Whenever I talk about music with other people, they always have god awful taste in music. Their taste in music is usually of these commercialized bands with very little authentic feeling behind them, with high quality production and practically breath dollars, or they feel fucking cartoony. Bands in this category include devin townsend, evanescence, dethklok (I fucking hate people who like this band). Or they deserve to be punched in the face even more, and they listen to shit like exclusively video game soundtracks, or they listen to ghastly edgy shit like insane clown possy, or korn, or some other wigger music. Or they just like entry level garbage or radio hits or whatever. There's infinite more examples.

So, instead of actually trying to tell them what my taste in music is, by giving them a litany of genres in my folder where I organize all my music (by genre > artist > album >track), I'll just tell them the most obscure fucking artist I listen to, so that way they won't even know what I listen to, so I don't have to engage in some facile, shallow conversation about music with some fucking wanker. That's what happens if you try talk about some popular band you think they're more likely to know. I really like The Cherry Icees and Sun Devoured Earth. Fuck you.