I just finished reading the introduction to the new translation of The 120 Days of Sodom by Marque De Sade. I found myself smiling a lot at the stories of his actual life, he was a wrongfully persecuted hero of sexual desire. A man with such passion, leading such an interesting life, only deserves praise. Even spending large amounts of time in jail; narrowly escaping death, writing enduring works of fiction to last throughout centuries, and living a life of sexual excess; he’s out lived most of the people who would ever live. His work surviving today, overcoming the dogma of moralists who try to ban it, is proof of it’s influence on sexually liberating the society as we see it today. No less being written in a time when homosexual sodomy was considered a “capital offense”. You wonder when these conservative dip shits will realize they’ve been going back against the tide for eons.

I find on my own terms, aside from these works of fiction, that the attitude towards sexuality in society is abhorrent. Look at the way that people respond to sexual fetishes, like the ABDL community, the furry community, fandoms of pony shows, scat lovers. All of these are very valid forms of sexual expression, they all give their participants sexual satisfaction. While people may not be actively morally crusading against these sorts of things, there is still an inherent “shock value”. People look at these sorts of works with disgust. I’m going to shift for a second from argument to rant. These people who feel disgust at things which immediately make them uncomfortable, are displaying conservative attitudes, which disgust me. You dip shits who cast your judgment on others simply because you don’t share the same pleasures as someone else, fail to reconcile with human nature.

It offends me that human nature can become “taboo”. Why do we cover up parts of our society, and act like they don’t exist? We do this by banning books, we do this by putting people on trial in the court of public opinion. That aforementioned conservative feeling of disgust, is the precursor to this collective condemnation of any - not just sexual - acts deemed socially unacceptable. The same thing is happening right now with transgender people as it’s been happening for hundreds of years with homosexuals. The public is ignorant and stupid, they base their conjectures off of erroneous ideas, such as the idea that pornography, music, video games, literature, or movies can corrupt the minds of people; or that homosexuality is a “sin”, or that god exists; all of the concepts of religion fall into this category as well.

You will not eliminate sexual desire by trying to eliminate traces of it from human nature, because it is innate in our nature. Just look at priests who copulate with little boys or have homosexual intercourse while preaching about how these things are sinful, only to turn around and say they’ve repented for what they’ve done. I believe that the church plays a large role in this dogma of human nature. While the church may be only a reflection, ironically, of man’s own innate tendency to make those aforementioned erroneous conjectures, it is an institution of it’s own, whose purpose is not to understand the nature of man, but to control it. It’s this ignorance which I believe is a damaging idea to the nature of humanity, and I believe only on conjecture, that years of this institutionalization of the denial and dogma of human nature, has become pervasive and a socially ingrained phenomena.

It’s the reason why people feel this inherent revulsion. Perhaps young children not exposed to these ideas of prejudice wouldn’t feel these prejudices as adults, when they’re old enough to make up their own minds about the world. That is one of the ways that religion gets people to become religious, is through centuries of societal ingraining, brainwashing children at a young age when they’re susceptible to believe lies and santa clause, believing in these things because it’s socially acceptable to believe in it, and it was told to them when they were children, and there’s a fear of not believing in it instilled into them. This same fear and dogma is evident in the way that people feel towards sexual “perversions”, or “anything that’s not vanilla sex”. Even if it isn’t an institutional persecution of these acts, through the exercising of power through law enforcement, it’s shown in people’s inherent gut reactions to these things. The societal fear and ingraining which makes people act out of collective consciousness, instead of individual

Furthermore, I fantasize of a world, where people aren’t influenced by societal dogma, and accept things purely as human nature. I’ve been neglecting until now to mention groups of people who I have defended throughout many of my writings; pedophiles, rapists, murderers. These are also classes of human nature, which I must in order to be intellectually consistent, also defend. These are also aspects of human nature, which moralists can’t account for. Supposedly, in a world where the supposed “causes” of these phenomena are eliminated; whether it be through banning music, movies, video games, pornography, books; they conclude that they will eliminate these things from society itself. Not so. These are also parts of human nature, the parts of human nature that no one wants to admit is a part of human nature. Even though the methods of murder become justified, when it’s soldiers doing it over seas. When it’s seen as something that effects another group, not our own, then it’s justifiable. Hence why we think it’s okay to kill murderers, another example of this in group, out group dichotomy. Hypocrisy.

All forms of punishment are examples of tribalism, of this in group, out group dichotomy. Of course, intellectuals realize this and understand that they can behave independently on their own jurisdiction, not partaking in acts that they feel themselves are morally reprehensible, such as copulating with children, or murdering people, or raping people. Empathetic intellectuals realizes that they can read works like the 120 days of sodom, and not go and do all of the things entailed in that book, they can watch horror movies and not go murdering people, they can listen to rap music and not go selling drugs; the empathetic intellectuals realize they can sympathize with people and not hate them because they’re “supposed to” who commit socially atrocious crimes, and not be criminals themselves. This is the point that I hope stays with you most strongly. I do not have to love the things that people do, but to make a judgment on the indifferent, moral vacuum of human nature, where your morals are barred by their arbitrariness, and indifference of the cosmos itself; you’re essentially wasting your energy.

It’s funny, how society seems to embrace ideas of hatred as morally justifiable. As we hypocritically kill people over seas from America, and execute prisoners for the crime of killing another human being from our group; we adopt the philosophy of the Ku Klux Klan, in hating our fellow human beings in ways that we see as morally justifiable. Funny, how even in movies like star wars idea that embracing feelings of hatred is embracing the dark side, it would seem that there’s many cultural signs that have tried to warn us about embracing hatred. All of these things which we try to condemn as a society, in the vast cosmic plane, there is moral indifference. We are responsible for all of the morals that we construct. Whether it be innocuous things, which harm no one, like a sexual fetish, or a sexual orientation, or a different gender identity, or a race; to things that are actually harmful like murdering people, pedophilia, and raping; we should accept all of these aspects as simply human, and reject the dogma of human nature.

I'm looking for good recipe ideas for the foods that I usually buy from the grocery store each week. I buy my food based off of whfoods.com, which shows me what vitamins and minerals I'm getting.

Almond milk
bell peppers
frozen salmon
whole wheat tortilla shells
ginger
garlic
tumeric
kale
spinach
swiss chard
sweet potatoes
cheese
peanut butter
oatmeal
avocados
black beans
bananas
blueberries (when they're in season)
apples
low fat greek yogurt
a bag of frozen vegetables
cocoa nibs
decaf coffee

What I usually eat with these things are

a wrap sandwich with either a whole avocado or salmon steak, a whole bell pepper (ripped apart by hand and cooked on the stove). a whole ginger root (sliced and microwaved), a couple tumeric roots (chopped and cooked on the stove), a giant pile of green leafy vegetables (cooked down until they're soft), a few garlic cloves sliced with a cheese plane (cooked on the stover), two tortilla shells
>^^^ this is a main staple of my diet

sweet potato with cheese or a whole avocado

oatmeal cooked with a whole banana and oatmeal with cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves, (and blueberries when available)

black beans from the can with cheese

Just plain low fat greek yogurt (sometimes with plain cocoa powder)

microwaved chopped apples with cinnamon (as an occasional snack)

frozen vegetables cooked in the microwave in a paper towel, and covered with a mixture of greek yogurt and chopped garlic cooked on the stove.

These are the meals I usually eat, save for the meals where I just have one of these whole foods and don't combine them. I have a lot of stuff to work with here, and I think there's some potential. I want some new suggestions of how to get more vegetabley dishes into my diet, because the huge vegetable sandwich is a bit of a pain in the ass to make, and I'd like simpler dishes that can incorporate vegetables into them.

 and I look in the mirror like "rick owens, bitch".

So I was crawling around my house naked because I was trying to avoid standing in the sunlight naked, when there's an elementary school right outside my window. I crawled into the sun rays coming through the window, and the feeling of the sunlight warming my butt was amazing. I just sat there with my butt in the sunlight and my head in my blankets at the foot of my bed. I need to get naked and crawl around my house and read poetry

Let me tell you something, I'm not proud to be white, but I'm not ashamed. I'm white, I just am. Is that problematic? Why can't liberals just let a man be. You know what I mean? I'm sick of all the talk of the white male oppressor. Bitch, lemme tell you something. I don't do nothing to blacks or women but listen to them bitch. And you know what? I don't even have anything against the blacks and women. They're cool. But if you wanna tell me that I'm shit because I'm white and a male, you've got another thing coming. I don't wanna hear about this postmodernism. I can just imagine all the feminists fuckin getting so mad at this. If you say anything to a feminist that goes against their ideology they fucking freak out. You know it's just like a cult.

-Free health care

-free college

-legal abortion

-gay and trans rights as equal citizens

-anti discrimination laws, because all citizens deserve equal treatment

-wealth inequality should be eliminated, make the wealthy pay their fair share. the disparity between the wealth elite and the poor and middle class in this country is staggering. Capitalism has failed, it's time to introduce a system which takes money from the super wealthy and gives it to small businesses and poor and middle class, every day americans.

-Politicians should represent people and not corporations.

-This is a country where you can believe whatever belief you want, or not believe and be an atheist. No one is exempt from this country on the grounds of their beliefs or lack thereof.

-churches are not tax exempt, they pay their fair share of taxes

-the criminal justice system shouldn't unfairly target minorities and poor people and give people like brock turner 3 months when someone who smokes weed can get years and years and years, or get off because they have "affluenze." Police officers do target people based on the color of their skin, and black people do get disproportionately treated based on the color of their skin. It's apparent that they're also brutalized by police and the police get off scott free.

- climate change is real, and it is caused by human activity

- the future of energy is clean energy, and fossil fuel companies have to go

- the most progress that humanity has seen has come from advances in technology, which has had the biggest impact on all of our lives. For that reason science and science education should be one of the biggest factors in not only the success of our country, but for the quality of our lives.

- The war on drugs has failed, all it does is drive markets underground and incarcerates people who are not violent, and should not be treated with incarceration.

- We incarcerate non violent drug offenders at inordinate rates

- All drugs should be legalized and regulated, no one should go to jail for drugs especially since the people who abuse drugs are the ones who need help with them, and not all drug users are drug abusers. Drug abusers need help, and sending them to jail does not help.

- Prisons increase recidivism, because once you have a felony on your record, it makes it extremely difficult to get a job. We set these people up for failure, and again, effect people from poor communities and african american communities, who get caught up in the cycle of poverty and can't escape.

So I was in this chat room the other day and this guy was getting so pedantic with the things I was saying to him. He would get hung up on every single word I would say, and although in context what I was saying made sense to the average person; nothing about what I was saying seemed esoteric to me compared to anything I have ever said relative to how people received it; he would just not stop getting hung up on my useage of these words. I wanted to beat him mercilessly, because he was so obviously an inferior human being who's mind was like a pitiful wounded animal; let's a say, a heffer; struggling mindlessly to move, but held back by it's own girth i.e. it's stupidity, and it's own incapacity.

RUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

fucking infestation of aids ridden monkeys

MY SOUL IS TEMPERED BY SUFFERING

So I was watching this video of a girl walking into a seven eleven with an axe and attacking two people with it. It really pissed me off, I hate that stupid bitch. I saw another post about a politician who literally grabbed a girl by her crotch because he says he didn't have to be politically correct anymore (lol) and there was this facebook commenter on the article that said she would rip off his dick and use it as a stress ball or something, that pissed me off, I called her a psycho.

But when I see videos of a girl getting body slammed for being a bitch, or I hear about women getting raped, I don't really care. I'm not mad at the rapist. I just sort of hate it when women do things to effect men, and it makes me hate them, but I have this double standard when I get more pissed off at women for doing the same thing a man might do. If I saw an article about a woman getting hit with an axe by a man I probably wouldn't be angry at him.

I think the difference lies in the fact that there's this obnoxious feminist idea, that women are somehow oppressed which makes it okay for them to attack men or something. And a lot of people seem to share that general sentiment, that it's somehow really great to see women attacking men and it just makes me feel disgusted. It disgusts me when I see pictures of women attacking men and then the people cheer like he somehow deserves it automatically because he's a man.

Then you have the whole radical left, who I find hard to tolerate on a lot of things even though we seem to agree in general principle on a lot of things. They seem to push this narrative of there being inherent oppression in society which makes them feel indignant towards men, so I guess what pisses me off even more is that if they would see my indignity towards the sort of violent nonchalance they display towards men, that would probably classify me in their eyes as a misogynist or something.

I’m trying to imagine how my world view would change if I were abducted by aliens, or if there were other cultures of extraterrestrial civilizations to references the culture of in our own. It becomes so jarring to only live in this culture, it becomes delirium inducing, insanity inducing, to only have the frame of reference of a human being. I’ve been trying to break out of this frame of reference for as long as I have had the strength of independent thought, but it’s troubling to me. A lot of people seem to think that with radical individual thought, comes a sense of smug superiority, that I somehow think I am above everyone else in their opinion. This is exemplified by the expression of a fedora wearer, which is a popular meme to post to anyone showing individual thought. In the broader scheme it’s nothing more than tribalism and the suppression of individual thought for the purpose of group politics, group superiority, the power and control of the group.

In fact, I do not feel a sense of superiority, though I don’t assume everyone thought so by default of my thoughts. I in fact feel a deep sense of insecurity, I am a human being and I unsurprisingly yearn for a deep connection to a group. Being disconnected from group politics, by virtue perhaps of simply rejecting group identity, and group authority and power, I have a sense of being alone and lost in the world without support. This feeling manifests itself not only out of my debates that I have with others outside of my writings and inner thought. I feel out of effect of my inner thoughts, this sense of insecurity, though perhaps out of a more innate sense of anxiety. I know that I don’t induce a sense of anxiety on myself, that seems to be innate in me. While I do feel an innate sense of anxiety and always have, none the less my insecure thoughts revolve around my thoughts, though beyond words and logic, perhaps the underlying cause is more innate, as words and logic seem to be meaningless babble, when the illusion of meaning is stripped away.

My anxious thoughts may have pushed me to be uncomfortable with my perception of the world around me, causing me to question it though. Perhaps if you take away the idea of anxiety as some sort of medical term, and look at it more as a philosophical discomfort with ideas, it starts to make more sense. However the fact of the matter remains, that with anxiety, if you strip away all the ideas there will still be the inborn anxiety, causing all of these ideas to take form. It’s like a whirl pool, and all the thoughts that get caught up in it may seem to be forms of their own while inside of it, but anxiety is basically focused too much thought, too much thought which feeds back into the anxiety. It’s the tendency to think too much. It’s hard to express what anxiety actually feels like without giving you my own version of what the movies do, what pop culture instills inside of our heads what anxiety must be like in order for you to gain and understanding of it, however incomplete. As you are aware, human beings have a tendency to prefer neatly organized familiarity in ideas, instead of a continuously grey and nuanced spectrum.

The nature of anxiety is only so understandable to me, so I can’t give you an idea of what it means entirely myself. I don’t quite understand what it is. However it begs the question, is my anxiety some inborn illness, or is my brain simply effected by the world we live in today, in which if I was born into a more suitable society, it would consequentially reduce my anxiety to nothing? I have always believed it was the latter. I believe that my mind is simply sensitive, and that because I live in a world such as the one that I do, that it gives me anxiety. This takes us back to the original point, that sometimes I lament not having a civilization not based off of the behavior of human beings to take reference of. Human beings have a tendency to look at everything in their own human centric way. Human beings even have a tendency to base the image of their own non human, metaphysical and make believe images of gods, in the image of themselves. This shows the extent and power to which the human mind can become trapped in it’s human centric view of the world around it.

Consequentially I feel trapped in this world view myself, but I simultaneously feel that the world view is false. My whole view of the world, then, seems constantly at odds with itself, and the more detached view of the world that I hold through my own observations. I wonder to what extent my own world view can be held only through my own point of view. Sometimes when I read someone tell me something I wrote is funny, I will somehow through this sudden shift in perspective, see my own work as funny, because I will immediately have the lens of this other point of view to think through, in which everything I was thinking becomes filtered through. This is something I have noticed, how immediately a person’s thoughts can shift when put through another perspective, it makes me wonder how much of our own perspective, or anyone’s perspective can ever be entirely shaped by itself. Perhaps in a sense, ideas are filtered through an individual lens of sorts, and not purely the lens of others. We all hold our own thoughts which we have accumulated, whether they be by our own making or by others.

None the less, the thoughts that I make, seem to always be held up to this general idea of what others may think. It’s a sort of sentience in which I not only have a concept of my own self with feelings, but in which I seem to have the concept of other people’s feelings, simultaneously inside of my head conflicting with the feelings I have within myself. Ironically I can’t know what other people think, I can’t seem to separate this notion of the ideas others have of me however, which is purely a matter of my own construction. There’s been times when this construction has failed me, and turned out to not only be a mere fabrication of what others may think, but was in fact a paranoia, in the sense that I was convinced something was real when it really wasn’t. I realize that a person can only be truly paranoid if they are convinced that something is real when it really isn’t, though I do seem to have a sense of paranoia with people in general. Perhaps this sense of paranoia is pervasive, but it perplexes me to try to imagine how I could live without this sense of other human beings, this sense of the fabrication of what others may think.

This is where I feel the fabric of my notions of others in the world around me seems to break down. Perhaps it’s the fabric of my concept of humanity, which reflects itself in that pervasive human centric point of view which I was mentioning earlier, which makes human beings see gods in their own image. I am doomed to see human beings through the fabricated idea, the generalized sense which the human brain seems to require, because uncertainty doesn’t seem to be something feasible to a human mind; complete uncertainty in which there is only guesses and never truly concrete ideas and total familiarity. It’s this problem, this pervasive and invariable problem, that human beings can only see through their own individual perception. In which case we reflect all of perceptions of the world off of ourselves, because we only have ourselves to reference. Do you wonder though what might happen if we had another form of consciousness, one which is truly sentient and not just the algorithms of AI we see today in things like google? It’s fun to try to imagine.

What if we did try to break down the human being into nothing more than the sum of it’s parts? Sometimes you see me talking about human beings as if I was observing them, and not one of them myself. Logic and observation, I try to detach myself, I try to observe objectively. Perhaps through rationality, one could break down his thoughts into objective - based on only what he can observe, and subjective - based on the human experience which is by nature subjective and not based on rationality, because there’s only so much that a human being can rationalize inside of his or her own brain. Ironically, the inherent irrationality of a human being, this emotional side of ourselves doesn’t seem to be manageable through pure thought, because it’s inherently separate from the logical part of our minds. Therefor there will always be a stalemate between the two, a constant tug of war for the individual, this battle between the logical mind and the irrational emotional side of the mind. But what if we could try to manage that side of our mind through pure thought? Perhaps that is a naive idea, born out of the will to win the tug of war between rationality and irrationality.

I shouldn’t negate the irrational side of my own mind though, because indeed so much of the human experience is irrational. There’s a lot that can be observed about the nature of the emotional and human side of nature. I myself still have a lot to understand about the nature of my own mind itself, I find that it’s a strange and mysterious, hidden and invisible force of nature which I can only observe through it’s consequences. I can’t observe the inner workings of my own consciousness, indeed the nature of phenomenological consciousness, that is the sentient mind of a human being, is something that scientists do not understand even themselves. The irrational mind cannot be negated, for pure rationality, because it is one of the least understood and consequential factors, variables ubiquitously influencing all that goes through the mind itself. Paradoxically, we can’t observe this irrational side of our brain without the rational side. In fact, without our cerebellum; the part of our brain which evolved giving us the ability to have this deep sense of self which apparently animals without it lack; we would have no language in which I type to you, using the rational side of my brain right now.

Seeing as the human mind and the group identity are nothing more than a delusion, of which is human centric in nature and can only lead to the anthropomorphism - in which the human mind can only reference itself; we can begin to break down the idea of the group and lead to an example of why the individual - my own insecurities sloshing around inside of my head in that whirl pool of anxiety - the inchoate ideas which are nothing more than babble of the stream of consciousness, the river of the conscious mind when detached from words and logic - the irrational mind which can only be observed by the rational mind; now we can show the individual in it’s own sense. My insecurities can no longer only be insecurities, in which they are at odds with the group’s identity and the paranoid delusion of other individual’s minds fabricated within my own - they must be taken into their own account on the basis that they are the only thing in which one can truly reference. My detached self, outside of the human centric point of view, in that uncomfortable place of not knowing, in that place of uncertainty of observing and being detached from the group; it’s the place in which we observe a civilization not based on our own phenomenological consciousness, but perhaps the unusual cultures of civilizations which we can only imagine.

These are not lofty imaginations of some sci fi proportions. In fact they aren’t even as exciting as you may imagine. They’re my own trivial insecurities. They’re the things that perhaps everyone laughs at, the insecurities going through life that perhaps all people more or less have. The feeling of being insecure and trapped, with feelings of awkwardness, perhaps even at something so trivial as a small miscommunication in conversation. These are the details I always seem to become trapped with, trapped in a world of my own construct, an imperfect reflection of other human beings around me of which I only have myself as the reference of. It’s strange to me that these sorts of struggles seem to be the ones that go through my head when I hardly even notice it. Before I sat down to write, I didn’t have a clue what I was about to write; all I knew was that I was deep in thought and I wanted to capture of bit of that stream of consciousness that flows through my mind, like a river. All the words stripped away, they’re somewhat meaningless I suppose. I only want to be at peace.

I really hate this world. I hate waking up every day because I prefer to be sleeping, I hate school, I absolutely despise working, I don't enjoy being around other people at all. It's really difficult, I don't even feel the motivation to do anything. Everything that seems extremely easy for everyone else, to just go do stuff seems extra hard to me because I'm always pushing against two things at once, one being the thing I need to do and the other being "what's the goddamn point?". It really, really fucking sucks, I hate all of it.

Acting like an asshole just because you don't understand the subtlety of real ironic humor and not just 'lmao you fucking retard' is really not funny. None of you are funny, this website sucks.