I'm sorry for the attention whore thread, I was just looking at old photos of me on facebook and realized I had pictures from when I was really young that I forgot about. I looked so bad back then.

omg loaf you are too much

Quote from: Carmen on January 28, 2019, 09:43:22 AM

Quote from: Aether on January 28, 2019, 09:13:56 AM

Do you have narcolepsy or something?

I was high as shit and zoned out, I went down there during my peak high and that was such a mistake.

But yeah I just now went downstairs and played fallout for an hour, and I feel so much better now. I got lucky and I'm going to learn from this.

Are you gonna stop taking drugs?

Spoiler

No, right? That's not the lesson to be learned here... sigh

No, but I'm going to be a lot more cautious and careful when I'm high. When you feel on top of the world it's hard to keep yourself in check, but I can definitely tone it down and be more careful in the future.

Do you have narcolepsy or something?

I was high as shit and zoned out, I went down there during my peak high and that was such a mistake.

But yeah I just now went downstairs and played fallout for an hour, and I feel so much better now. I got lucky and I'm going to learn from this.

Or you could like, not fall down a flight of stairs like a normal person.

yeah I was fucked up and I'm not going to take the stairs again in that state

Holy fucking shit I need to be more careful. I was just trying to go downstairs to play my PS4, I was carrying my laptop with me to bring downstairs, but halfway down the stairs I zoned out / fainted / whatever and fucking collapsed and rolled down the stairs onto the hard concrete basement floor. I got so lucky that I didn't snap my neck, but holy shit my jaw and neck feels so fucked up right now. The pain is kinda going away though, I just hope my body can repair this shit by itself so I don't need to pay hospital bills. I think I'm going to be fine, if it was a lethal injury I would've been dead by now. Anyway just wanted to have an official post here so I can look back on this and not make the same mistake in the future. I need to be a lot more cautious, I should've just went outside and walked down the incline to get to the basement.

But what's funny about this is that I realized something. If I was a girl - small and petite and fragile like I want to be - I would've died right there. I hate my big tall burly body and all that comes with it, but goddamn, my body type probably saved my life tonight. It would have been so much worse if I didn't have that male tougher bones and larger body and all that. Me being trans probably saved me tonight. I think I can start to appreciate the benefits of having a physically strong body now. It might not make me look cute or pretty, but my stature has so many grounded life benefits that I didn't realize until now. Being alive is the most important thing, way more important than even being a girl, so I'm actually glad that I have this build now. It's going to be a lot harder to kill me lol. I can be a trans woman with a big body actually - that's fine. I can protect people and protect myself that way. I never knew I had this privilege honestly and I'm going to value it a lot more in my life now.

Quote from: Carmen on January 27, 2019, 09:03:28 PM

Quote from: Ian on January 27, 2019, 08:08:06 PM

Class, I gotta know; are you AGP or not?

hahaha fuck you Ian. AGP isn't real - it's a tactic bigots use to attack trans women. If you sincerely support a term that was invented to discredit the years of suffering and feelings of inferiority that every member this demographic has to go through, and tries to pass off all of that as "you just want to fulfill your fetish fantasy", then I have zero respect for you and you're a bad person.

as someone who used to care about you (and as someone who did for many years before we were together) I'm concerned for you

Thank you. That means a lot. I'm so sorry for everything you had to deal with about me, you didn't deserve to have to go through that. But I'll just say this now - if you agree with Ian about AGP being a real phenomenon that divides trans women into two different classes, then I want nothing to do with you in the future. I'm still sorry for what I did, but I will not be around people who hold that toxic and objectively wrong view.

Quote from: Carmen on January 27, 2019, 04:43:19 PM

Quote from: Solonoid on January 27, 2019, 03:53:48 PM

Quote from: Eli on January 27, 2019, 08:12:39 AM

Quote from: Solonoid on January 27, 2019, 12:59:44 AM

anyways, I'll give you a couple days to figure out how to change it, after that it's open season, unless somebody else decides to pull the trigger first

How merciful you are.

honestly he deserves a lot worse after everything he put me through

Are you fucking serious??? I already apologized and you accepted. What do I have to do? Please tell me and I'll make it happen.

You REALLY hurt me a lot more than one time.

And all you say I did was be too nice to you. You know what, nevermind, I've tried not to bring it up, and to just ignore you, and that's how I'm going to move forward.

I know that I hurt you more than once. I'm a fucking bad person, okay? I'm a really bad person. I'm trying to be better, I'm really fucking legitimately trying to make up for how selfish and dumb and fucked up I was in the past. Nothing I can say will fix the damage I've done, I know. That's why I'm always going to be a bad person. You didn't do a thing wrong Michael, this was 100% on me and I want you to know that. If the way you need to heal is by cutting contact with me, I can accept that. Alternatively, if you need something from me to be able to heal, I will give you that without question. Just tell me the role you want me to have here and I'll make it happen. I am so sorry for everything I put you through and even if I can't make up for it, I can do whatever it takes to make your current life a little bit better than it is now. If you never want to talk to me again, that's fine, but please don't bring my family into this when they didn't do anything wrong except get unlucky enough to have me as their fucked up child.

This place is lame.

This place is my home tbh. We need to get it active again.

I need to watch that show actually, I hear it's a classic

Quote from: Carmen on January 27, 2019, 12:55:16 AM

Quote from: Solonoid on January 27, 2019, 12:48:30 AM

Quote from: Carmen on January 27, 2019, 12:46:37 AM

Quote from: Solonoid on January 27, 2019, 12:45:19 AM

hey guys should I ddos class now or wait to see if he's dumb enough to not change his ip address in the next week

ddos me that's fine.There's nothing I've said on the internet that I'm too ashamed of people seeing IRL

That's not what ddos means

It's when you reveal all the internet posts you've made to your RL people right?

that's doxing

actually, that would be reverse doxing i guess

pretty sure there's no actual term for what you just described, but doxing is when your "RL" information gets posted on the internet by a third party if you were trying to keep it private

Oh, I see. I don't care if people on the Internet know my RL information, either. What are they going to do with it?

anyways, I'll give you a couple days to figure out how to change it, after that it's open season, unless somebody else decides to pull the trigger first

Uh why exactly? What did I do to you?

hey guys should I ddos class now or wait to see if he's dumb enough to not change his ip address in the next week

ddos me that's fine.There's nothing I've said on the internet that I'm too ashamed of people seeing IRL

holy shit are you stupid

?

I love how you couldnt give me a fucking break on there lmao

like jesus christ michael why was it so bad that I was actually being noticed for once

Hell yes we are

what's up I can answer everything