who here actually owns/plans to own a nintendo switch

what games do you own or want to get

I only have Mario Kart 8 Deluxe at the moment, but I'm looking to get Breath of the Wild for it (despite already owning it on Wii U), and I'm interested in picking up Splatoon 2 and Ultra Street Fighter II, if I can find a good price for them.

I'm also looking forward to:

Sonic Mania
RiMe
Super Mario Odyssey

Be as specific as you want.

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When it comes to games:

Gameplay > Characters (if it's a fighting game) > A sense of "soul," or an appreciation for "the little things"

[POWER GAP]

Themes, ideas, & messages > Overall design > Originality > Style, aesthetic, & atmosphere > Price

[POWER GAP]

Challenge > Heuristic gameplay (no hand-holding tutorials) > Music > Story > How female characters are portrayed

[POWER GAP]

Genre > Characters (non-fighting games) > Replay value > Controls > Lore > Animation > Acting

[POWER GAP]

For bad games, a capacity to be enjoyable despite being a bad game

[POWER GAP]

Setting/world = Customization = Graphics = Frame rate = Boring technical aspects = Historical accuracy = Premise

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For movies:

Themes, ideas, messages > Symbolism > Imagery & cinematography > A sense of "soul," attention to detail

[POWER GAP]

Editing > Rewatchability > Usage of tropes & cliches

[POWER GAP]

Characters > Story > Score > Acting > Setting/world > Genre > Historical accuracy > Premise

[POWER GAP]

A capacity for bad movies to be so-bad-it's-good

if your old posts retained the avatar you once had when you posted them

thoughts on add violence

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Top 5:

1. Devilman: Crybaby (8/10)
2. Serial Experiments Lain (8/10)
3. Grave of the Fireflies (8/10)
4. Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion (8/10)
5. Texhnolyze (7/10)

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Thoughts on every anime I've seen so far (Robert Christgau style):

A Silent Voice (Naoko Yamada, Kyoto Animation, 2016) It's incredible how people can watch the same kind of movie over and over again without growing completely bored of it. None of them offend me to my core or anything, but... I've seen this shit, time and time again. 5/10

Akira (Katsuhiro Otomo, Tokyo Movie Shinsha, 1988) A stylish aesthetic can't stop a mostly dull oeuvre from feeling longer than its runtime. Incredibly overrated, but by no means terrible. 5/10 6/10

Angel's Egg (Mamoru Oshii, Studio DEEN, 1985) When I watched Mamoru Oshii's most celebrated film, Ghost in the Shell, I only gave it a four-word review—"complete waste of time," and I completely stand by that. So, when I spotted another one of his films in my queue, I naturally found myself putting it off. As my list grows narrower, however, I decided on a whim the other night that I would just strike it off—and I'm glad I did, because I wound up finding a new favorite of mine. Folks... I loved this one. And yeah, it's a bit artsy, so I wouldn't actually recommend it to anybody unless you want to try something a little "different," or if you're intrigued by its goth-punk aesthetic. But what really makes it work for me is just how careful, intimate, and genuinely beautiful the imagery is. It's an interpretive feast for anyone who loves vague symbolism—something I've criticized other shows for, like Evangelion—but whereas that show felt very useless and self-indulgent with its depictions, Angel's Egg feels very authentic. There is almost no spoken dialogue whatsoever, which allows the viewer to enjoy and absorb every last beat for himself, without being distracted by some terrible voice actress's squealing. It creates this bizarrely ominous atmosphere that's just not present in any other anime I've ever seen, and I've tried sixty of them. I also have to note that, despite the fact that this indeed an animated Japanese film featuring a young female protagonist, she is never sexualized—which is an absolutely incredible thing to say when you really think about it. The movie does contain a little bit of sexual imagery, but honest to god, for the first time EVER, I actually think it's done rather tastefully, and it actually works well as a thematic element. This is the kind of movie that transcends anime to me. It's exactly what I'm looking for. I might have to rewatch this a bunch of times so I can glean more messages from it, but after my first watch, I'm delighted to have found another anime that I can give a positive review for. I'm not sure if it's quite as good as Grave of the Fireflies, but that movie was startlingly good, so it's not a fair comparison right now. This score could easily go up, though. Maybe I'll go into my interpretations of it some other time. 7/10

Astro Boy (Mushi Production, 1963, three episodes) An interesting piece of animation history that warrants little more than a respectful glance today. 5/10

Attack on Titan (Wit, 2013, three episodes) Hands down BEST pilot episode for a shonen anime. The steep drop-off in terms of quality after this fucking amazing first episode are why I dropped the show early, but yeah. The first episode is really all you need to see. It's a pretty good metaphor for how I feel about life in general, but it turns into stereotypical trope-y shonen schlock real quick. Not unexpected, but still a shame. 5/10

Baccano! (Brain's Base, 2007, completed) To the show's credit, I did finish it, so it obviously engaged me enough to watch all sixteen episodes. However, it did not engage me enough to ever watch it again, or even consider it that good of a show. The show's strong points are its characters (gasp) and its method of storytelling, which is quite unique when compared with typical anime schlock, and made it seem very fresh and interesting. That's where my appreciation ends. Since I liked the characters, I wanted to learn a lot about them, and I really expected the show to flesh them out more than it ended up doing. There were also a bit too many of them, which made following each and every one of their stories kind of dizzying, and it's easy to pick favorites and least favorites, which made sitting through certain episodes more of a chore than others. Finally, the setting just made me wish I was watching a Western gangster movie instead, because they're all a thousand times better in every single way. This was no Goodfellas, people. 4/10

Bakemonogatari (Shaft, 2009, five episodes) I've made a decision. At some point in my life—preferably before I turn 25—I'm going to procure a gun. I don't really care how I get it. I don't really care what kind of gun it is, either. It doesn't really matter. The point is, I'll be getting my hands on a firearm within the next few years. That gun is going to hang over my bedpost. Mind you, I wouldn't do anything stupid or drastic with it—it's just going to hang there. Once I move out, I'm going to take it with me, so that every single night that I sleep, it'll always be there over my head. This will serve a symbol—perhaps a monument—to my personal strength and willpower. Because every single time I watch a show like Monogatari, the constant temptation to just end it all, quickly and painlessly, will literally just be hanging over my head every step of the way—but I'll refuse to give into it. And I know that I'll refuse, because I'll know that the struggle will only be temporary. 0/10

Bleach (Pierrot, 2004, nine episodes) 2/10

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo (Toei Animation, 2003, one half-episode) 1/10

Boku no Pico (Natural High, 2006, first OVA) 2/10

Code Geass (Sunrise, 2006, ten episodes) I was asked to complete this show, but I just can't. It's just way too fucking stupid, and it has the distinction of having my least favorite artstyle of all time. It's uglier than a neanderthal's miscarried fetus. I just can't handle it. And the writers must have been on crazy, insane amounts of Adderall, too—everything that happens feels like it was written by some 14-year-old with a sugar rush. It's headache-inducing to watch this show for extended periods of time. It's obvious that it's not supposed to be anything else but what it is, and I know some people are gonna get on my ass for that, but I'm a firm believer in the principle of "just because it's meant to be stupid doesn't mean it isn't stupid/cannot be stupid." I'm glad I dropped it when I did; I should've done so earlier. 2/10

Colorful (Sunrise, 2010, Keiichi Hara) I think this film has a lovely message, even if it's a little heavy-handed and the twist itself was highly predictable. That said, it's also low on the tropes and typical standard anime fare that we're all so sick of, and actually gives a pretty palpable insight into the high-pressure environments that some Japanese youths go through during school. It's actually kind of insane. Despite this, for a movie that's called "Colorful," I was disappointed to discover just how bland and washed-out the entire film is. It's actually pretty dull and grey. Is it meant to be symbolic, or ironic in some way? Whatever the case may be, I was expecting a visual feast based on the title alone, but all I got was an eyesore. Kind of a disappointment, and that alone drops for me what would've been a rare positive rating. Oh well. I'd still probably recommend it, though. 5/10

Cowboy Bebop (Sunrise, 1908, thirteen-and-a-half episodes) "Overrated" is a word that I'd like to keep myself from using too often in these, but I'm struggling to find another word that oh-so-perfectly defines this show. However, my little reactionary weebs—that doesn't mean there was nothing about the show that I enjoyed. The coolly distinct atmosphere and lowkey tone of the series was what kept me going for as long as I did, and though I'm not terribly into jazz, I felt like it was a pretty good fit for this series. It gave a lot of scenes an "oddly satisfying" feel. That said, the characters are all annoying as fuck (especially—surprise, surprise—our female leads, Faye and Edward) and I don't give a fuck about any of them. The story isn't very engaging, and I couldn't help but ask myself, "What's the point?" after every "session" (the show's little pretentious way of saying "episode"). That said, it's still probably one of the better shows I've partially trudged through. I think it's rather telling how the best-of-the-best anime always seem to be inspired by Western styles, ideas, or sensibilities. I still don't have the heart to finish it, though. Sorry. 5/10

Cromartie High School (Production I.G, 2003, four episodes) Not a terrible show, but I don't have any desire to watch it further. It's not doing anything to hold my attention, and I don't feel at all connected to the subgenre that it's clearly parodying. It also looks a lot like Fist of the North Star, which is a style that I don't find very easy on the eyes, and overall, there's just nothing too special about it. I'm over it. 5/10

Death Note (Madhouse, 2006, completed) Not gonna lie—if this show ended at episode 25 (and you weebs should know which one I'm talking about), I would've given this a positive rating, easily. I was actually enjoying myself for the first half. It has a really clever and captivating story at first, with lots of really cool and unique yet oddly sympathetic characters, but after that ONE episode, things start to get REALLY fucking retarded really fast. Obviously I've known about this show for ages, and I honestly think it has the coolest and most interesting premise of all time when it comes to anime (even if it's a little Hot Topic)—but even that can't save it from the typical anime trappings that drown it to death by the show's end, and I'm glad to hear that, among weebs, I'm not alone when it comes to feeling this way—so I highly doubt my thoughts are really going to upset anybody. 5/10

Digimon Adventure (Toei, 1999, ten episodes + change) I saw a few episodes of this as a kid, so I decided to revisit a few as an adult. Honestly, I wish I watched more of it as a kid—I would've fucking loved it. 5/10

Dragon Ball (Toei Animation, 1986, twenty-eight episodes) My first true excursion into Japanese animation began with this slog, and I can't say I bear any sentimental feelings towards it. I detested all the characters, except for Goku and Yamcha to an extent, and its unyieldingly perverted sense of humor was incredibly trying. Perhaps if it could go just one episode without making a dumb sex joke involving Bulma's breasts, the show would've been more tolerable—alas, the entire show's entertainment value hinges solely upon jejune, simple-minded power fantasies for the little boys it's marketed for. And, as clear as it is that the show is meant strictly for babies, I'm just surprised that I made it as far as I did. 5/10 4/10

Dragon Ball Z (Toei Animation, 1989, first season) - Though the juvenile sexual humor has now (mostly) gone by the wayside, the franchise at this point instead began to double down on the stupid macho power fantasies and mindless over-the-top action, which has never and will never appeal to me. As I watch, I can feel my IQ score steadily dropping by the second. Not a good experience. At least Dragon Ball was more charming, in an annoying-kid-brother kind of way. 4/10 3/10

Ergo Proxy (Manglobe, 2006, completed) I did not absolutely hate this show—I liked it enough to complete it, but I don't like it enough to ever return to it again. First and foremost, I deeply appreciate this show's artstyle and overall cyberpunk aesthetic. Not only does it stand out beautifully in an ocean of a medium where every single show looks exactly the same due to Japan's extremely stagnant (or even regressive) industry standards, it's genuinely gorgeous and is easily the best part of the show. Everything else is okay. Not great. But it LOOKS great, and that alone is worthy of high praise in my book. It explores some neat philosophical themes, too, which is always fun. 6/10

5 Centimeters per Second (CoMix Wave, 2007, Makoto Shinkai) 3/10

FLCL (Gainax, 2000, completed) This is the perfect show to watch if you ever need to teach someone a lesson in style-over-substance, and why that's not something you ever want. You know things are grim when the best thing about your show is the music (and even that's not as good as people seem to think it is). The plot is too obtuse for its own good, and I'm given very little reason to care about anything that's happening, thanks to the terrible characters (especially Haruko). I understand that this is a show that's best viewed multiple times in order to piece everything together, and that's fine, but if I'm not enjoying myself the first time around, and it hasn't given me any desire to continue watching it—then, well, why the fuck would I? What EXACTLY will doing this add to my quality of life? Probably not a single goddamn thing. And the Invader Zim-style humor is a huge problem when the show is meant to be a comedy. Absolutely migraine-inducing, but mercifully, it's only six episodes. 3/10

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (Bones, 2009, ten episodes) I don't know if I can handle fifty-four more episodes of this shit. I kinda wish I started watching the original series first. It seems... better. 4/10

Ghost in the Shell (Mamoru Oshii, Kodansha, 1995) Complete waste of time. 2/10

Gintama (Sunrise, 2006, two episodes) It's not good when a comedy bores you to tears. The fact that there's a billion episodes of this shit made me drop out early, and the characters were testing my patience. Kagura is particularly insufferable, and overall, I wish I could go back to not knowing this show even exists, because—again, like Tiger & Bunny—while it may not have been the worst thing I've ever seen, I don't understand why this is one of the highest rated shows among weebs on MyAnimeList. Yeah, I only saw two episodes, but you'd think a show that good would grip me from the word "go." 4/10

Grave of the Fireflies (Isao Takahata, Studio Ghibli, 1988) I am so fucking bitter that, in my eight years of hating all Japanese media, not a single person has EVER thought to recommend me this film. Not one. My stipulations have been made loud and clear, yet nobody has ever thought that I would enjoy this movie as much as I did. I had to go and search for it all by myself in this sea of molten shit. Thanks, fuckheads. Either way, it's pretty obvious by now—this is my new favorite anime, and the second anime that I've ever actually enjoyed. It took me way off guard. Given its setting and subject matter, it's honestly pretty hard to dislike. Don't think I'm a weeb just yet, though—For every anime I hate, I want to see at least one thing that I love. So far, we're pretty deep in the hole. That said, credit where credit is due: This movie was great, and it feels pretty liberating to say that. I won't count on it ever happening again, though. 8/10

Gurren Lagann (Gainax, 2007, completed) Here's a comforting thought: the best thing about this show is that I will never see anything more vomit-inducing in my lifetime. Like a trainwreck, it was difficult to look away—hence my completion of it. Simply put, this show is brain cancer, and I actually have a very long and battered history with it—a history far too long to cover in a short blurb, so perhaps I'll write up a lengthier review in the future—but indeed, it has a soft place in my heart for being the first anime I've ever truly despised. It is the perfect amalgam of everything I abhor—not just about Japanese animation—but about the human race and life itself. It truly has it all. A very, very heartfelt 1/10

Howl's Moving Castle (Studio Ghibli, 2004, Hayao Miyazaki) Just checking off some more Miyazaki off the list. Nothing much to say—it's a Ghibli film. You'll probably enjoy it. 5/10

Hunter x Hunter (Madhouse, 2011, fist arc + a few random episodes) When my favorite thing about a show is that it's relatively low on fanservice, you know the show doesn't really have a whole lot else to show for it. Gon is probably my new favorite shonen protagonist—even though that's an extremely low bar—because not only does he actually feel like a character with genuine strengths and genuine weaknesses, there's something oddly human about his character, too. I say "oddly" human because it's very uncommon for an anime character to show any humanlike traits whatsoever, instead of a ridiculous caricatured gingerbread man of a person. That said, I don't really care for the story all that much, which is why I got bored after the first arc and started watching random episodes instead before I decided the show wasn't for me, as per usual. It's definitely not the worst thing I've put myself through, but I just don't really think it's gonna be worth another 100+ episodes. 4/10

Inuyasha (Sunrise, 2000, five episodes) Basically Dragon Ball for girls. 4/10 3/10

Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade (Hiroyuki Okiura, Production I.G, 1999) Actually not bad, but kind of forgettable, despite its crazy, twisty-turvy plot. It's kind of slow, and I'm not sure if it really justified its near two hours of length, but the story was interesting and laden with a lot of surprisingly touching moments that tickled my feefees a bit more than I'm willing to admit. Still, there's so many things about it that could've been better. I liked the story, but maybe it needed a better artstyle. Maybe it needed better animation. Or maybe it even needed more plot coherence, because there were several points where I didn't quite understand why any of this was happening in the first place—including the awkward and somewhat tacky Little Red Riding Hood "allegory," if you can call it that. I just needed something to make it stay with me for longer than it did, because as soon it was over, it just didn't stick with me for too long. 5/10 6/10

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (David Production, 2012, first two seasons) There are a lot of words in the English language that have become overused to the point of near-meaninglessness. I'm going to attempt to sum up this show in three of these words, and I can assure you that I intend to use them in their fullest and most undiluted form: Terrible. Stupid. Garbage. If you're familiar at all with how I tend to feel about anime in general, you already know why I hate this show—it's a storm of retarded tropes and clichés that tries to hide under the safety veil of "BUT IT'S SELF-AWARE!!!" like painting a log of shit gold somehow changes the fact that it's still shit. Yet with every headache-inducing moment of this gratuitous, over-the-top, and excessively homoerotic fuckfest of a show, I'm reminded that people actually enjoy this for the exact same reasons that I hate it. I guess I just hate fun, huh? Let's just ignore the fact that NOTHING about the plot makes any sense. Ignore the fact that the dull, unlikable characters make you want to pull your hair out. Ignore the fact that it has the worst artstyle in the entire fucking industry, and the ugliest and cheapest-looking character designs ever. Even the voice acting sucks. But "THAT'S THE POINT," right? Yeah, go fuck yourself. One of the worst shows I've ever seen, ever. 1/10

Kill La Kill (Trigger, 2013, two episodes) Enjoying this show should be illegal. 1/10

Legend of the Galactic Heroes (Madhouse, 1988, two episodes) Unbelievably boring garbage. 4/10

Love Live! (Sunrise, 2013, five episodes) 1/10

Lupin the Third Part I (Tokyo Movie, 1971, fourteen episodes) - Japanese Hanna-Barbera makes a show for adults in the early '70s and flounders spectacularly. It's not just the extremely dated visuals, or the fact that the animation has aged like an underage alcoholic—it's also very serialized and offers little in terms of plot, and offers no likable characters with a particularly insufferable protagonist. I know it's extremely old, but that doesn't excuse it for me when there are movies and TV shows much older than this that are still worth watching today. It doesn't help that the show's original director for the first batch of episodes was fired (or something), and the new director steered the show in a more family-friendly direction. That's where I had to stop—at that point, I knew I wasn't going to get anything out of this. 3/10

Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid (Kyoto Animation, 2017, two episodes) 1/10

My Hero Academia (Bones, 2016, four episodes) Retarded. I don't understand why this is so popular right now. 2/10

My Neighbor Totoro (Hayao Miyazaki, Studio Ghibli, 1988) Boring and safe, like everything out of Ghibli's repertoire. 5/10

Naruto (Pierrot, 2002, first season) Probably my favorite of the "big four," though that's not saying a whole lot. It helps that I saw a bunch of episodes when I was growing up, usually when there was nothing better on TV, and I'm not gonna lie—I liked some of it, so I watched through the first season rather comfortably. Unfortunately, my favorite fight (Shikamaru vs. Temari) wasn't even in this season, so this ended up being a complete slog. It has a lot of things that I appreciate, though—it has a great sense of humor (albeit stupid and occasionally perverted), a variety of likable characters with lots of color and personality, and an interesting if nonsensical setting. We all know what bogs it down later, but I felt like giving it some credit either way. Most shonen start out pretty strong, but they always go downhill fast, and this show is no exception. 4/10

Neon Genesis Evangelion (Gainax, 1995, completed) A deconstruction of one of my least favorite subgenres of anime: Mecha. Given that this is one of the most well-renowned shows in all of anime, I was expecting to have more bombastic reasons to dislike it. But I don't, really. The show's ultimate flaw is that it's boring. Really, really boring. And extremely pretentious, to boot. The characters suck, with the protagonist Shinji being one of the most insufferable whiny little cunts I've had to put up with in all of the shows I've watched. None of the other characters are likable in any way, and I especially hated Rei and Asuka. There's a lot of vague symbolism that gave the impression that the show was trying to get "deep," but none of it ever amounts to anything. You can say that it's up for the viewer to interpret, but I'm starting to consider that sort of thing a huge cop-out when it comes to art. It's actually a pretty simple, and almost shallow, story. There's not much to interpret. I can shit in a cup and tell you to interpret something out of it, but you're not gonna want to. You're not gonna care, because what I did was just vapid, obnoxious, and out of nowhere. And then I'll say, "I guess it's just too deep for you; you just don't understand true art." It's fine, though. Having seen all of it (except for the movie), I can completely understand why this show ended up being so popular. It's the exact breed of vacuous tripe that I expect all anime fans to enjoy. There's nothing in here that I wouldn't expect the average braindead weeb to just eat right up—it's all there. The microdick mechs, the virginbait waifus, the shitty animation and artsyle, the pretentious yet borderline meaningless themes... Honestly, what's there not to love for your prototypical weeaboo? 3/10

91 Days (Shuka, 2016, completed) As much as I want to shit on this show for trying to dip its toes in one of my favorite film genres, I can't really say anything that bad about it. I felt the same way about Baccano!, and while this show is very different from Baccano!, there is a common gripe that I have between the two—it's just kind of average and forgettable, and it makes me wish I was watching the films it was obviously inspired by instead. Films that essentially do the same thing, but better. What does this show offer that Reservoir Dogs, Goodfellas, Road to Perdition, or pretty much any other gangster movie doesn't? Trite themes, cinematography, and slender, effeminate men? Yeah, I'll pass. I'm pretty tired of revenge plots as it is, and this certainly didn't help matters. 4/10

One Piece (Toei Animation, 1999, four episodes) - 3/10 2/10

One-Punch Man (Madhouse, 2015, completed) - 1/10

Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt (Gainax, 2010, completed) 1/10

Perfect Blue (Satoshi Kon, Madhouse, 1997) I originally gave this a 4/10, calling it a boring waste of time—despite the fact that I'd normally love any film that explores the evils of sexual exploitation in the entertainment industry. Because the subject matter is so precious to me, though, I tend to have unreasonable demands for how such themes should be presented, and as a result, on my first viewing, I thought these demands were simply not met. Upon giving it a second chance, however, I've decided that I was being a little unfair. What I had initially interpreted as hypocrisy, the very exploitation the film was trying to rally against, was actually a necessary component for making the audience feel uncomfortable about what they are viewing. The fact that I didn't enjoy what I was watching was sort of half the point. In hindsight, I was foolish to judge a movie for successfully conveying its message. That being said, I still think the film is a little pretentious, and I don't really enjoy the art style at all, and that made it hard for me to sit through a second time. Still, not a terrible film by any means—it's a good anime for people who don't like anime. Alternatively, a much better and more palatable version of the film is Black Swan. 4/10 6/10

Princess Mononoke (Hayao Miyazaki, Studio Ghibli, 1997) 4/10

Pokémon (OLM, Inc., 1997, first two seasons + some change) I watched this throughout my childhood, and I've revisited it several times, so I'm heavily biased in its favor. Though bad, the characters are all pretty great, and the dialogue is wonderful, so long as you don't take it too seriously. It genuinely has some of the best humor of any Japanese show I've ever watched, but, like I said—it's probably just a nostalgia thing. In fact, it almost definitely is. 5/10

Ponyo (Hayao Miyazaki, Studio Ghibli, 2008) 3/10

Princess Jellyfish (Brain's Base, 2010, three episodes) 3/10

Psycho-Pass (Production I.G, 2012, completed) Finally, I've gotten around to watching the first anime ever recommended to me on Sep7agon—after giving a very long list of prerequisites for what I don't want to see in the show. And apparently, this is it. This is the show that contains absolutely nothing that I would hate for a single frame—though, of course, that's not actually true. The best thing I can say about it is that it's watchable—and, to its credit, I was pleasantly surprised over the fact that, for a seinen, I don't recall seeing any fanservice whatsoever—maybe three seconds worth at the most, and I blocked it out. But other than that, there's honestly not much else worth praising the show over. Subpar animation. Boring plot that's both predictable and kinda stupid if you really think about it. Very low character development. It definitely got better after the show lost its silly episodic format, but as an overall experience, the show failed to captivate me, and after 22 episodes, I felt relieved to be done with it. 5/10

Puella Magi Madoka Magica (Shaft, 2011, completed) Fucking terrible. "But Verb! It's a deconstruction anime! It's making fun of all the things you hate! That automatically makes it a good show!" I'm afraid it doesn't, you vacuous cunt. I'll deconstruct your fucking face. There are smarter ways to deconstruct shitty subgenres out there, and they had to pick the laziest possible way to do it. It's easy as fuck to take something dumb and lighthearted and put a dark and edgy twist on it. That's not innovative. It's not interesting. It relies too heavily on shock "horror," and in general, commits the biggest sin that all anime deconstructions tend to commit—being a more extreme version of the thing you're deconstructing doesn't make you any better than that thing. Ironic shitposting is still shitposting, and you're still an uninteresting faggot with absolutely nothing original to contribute. 2/10

Space Dandy (Bones, 2014, two-and-a-half episodes) 1/10

Spice and Wolf (Imagin, 2008, three episodes) Despite the premise piquing my interest, I dropped the show almost immediately following total, unmitigated disappointment. Brief moments of intrigue are frequently flanked by an autistic entourage of your typical stupid anime trope bullshit. There's only so much of this shit I can tolerate before I just want to throw myself off a cliff. 4/10 3/10

Spirited Away (Hayao Miyazaki, Studio Ghibli, 2001) 5/10

Steins;Gate (White Fox, 2011, three episodes) I like the premise, but the show itself turned out to be quite dull and uninteresting. The characters in particular are terribly bland, and I hate all of them—especially Mayuri, and the show has probably the worst sense of humor out of anything I've attempted to watch. It's very rare that an anime succeeds in making me laugh, but I can at least appreciate that something funny happened. Here, there wasn't a single joke in the three episodes that I sat through that did not make me physically cringe. Also, the harem vibes are really fucking gross, and I find it hilarious how often these sorts of these are always swept under the rug by fans. 3/10

Tiger & Bunny (Sunrise, 2011, three episodes) Japan did a poll awhile back where they ranked anime to find the best of all time—and THIS, of all things, was ranked #1. I can only imagine the voters were comprised mostly of greasy fujoshis and other undesirables, because I cannot fucking handle this shit. It's not so much the show itself, but more the idea that it's the BEST SHOW EVER, according to Japan, that makes my skin crawl. It's hard to be fair and objective when I'm looking at the show from that pedestal, so I'm not even gonna bother. Point is, I didn't like it. I especially hated the female characters, but that's a given at this point. 4/10

The Garden of Words (Makoto Shinkai, CoMix Wave Films, 2013) Just watch this XXXTentacion video instead. 5/10

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (Madhouse, 2006, Mamoru Hosoda) Pretty simple movie with a simple premise and a simple plot. Like a lot of these highly-regarded anime films, it's rather difficult to outright hate when the message is so strong. The worst things I can say are that the animation wasn't the best (for a big budget project), and the score was pretty forgettable—but good music in anime is quite rare. I don't know, it's all right. It needed a lot more for me to consider it truly worth watching, though. It's just one of those stories that's been done a million times better, and usually by the Western film industry. 5/10

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Kyoto Animation, 2006, two-and-a-half episodes) Can't do it, guys. 2/10

Tokyo Godfathers (Satoshi Kon, Madhouse, 2003) 4/10

Wolf Children (Studio Chizu, 2012, Mamora Hosoda) Retarded. Annoying. Stupid premise. Dumb as shit. Waste of time. Anime. 4/10

Your Name (CoMix Wave Films, 2016) You'd think the film's roaring international success in the West would give me high hopes, but I tend to be very cautious whenever I hear that people like something, because I find that most people are very easily impressed. A film that the average person would rate an 8/10, I would probably give that film a 6/10. Not always, but that does tend to be the case. Likewise, whereas most people found Your Name to be beautiful and original, I found it incredibly insipid, predictable, and anything BUT original. This movie is every boy-meets-girl story ever made, but with a silly Freaky Friday premise. OH BOY, MY FAVORITE. Our two subject characters are so cookie-cutter—having relatable characters is absolutely fine, especially in stories like these, but not when they're so fucking drab to the point where you can't NOT relate with them. And while the plot itself didn't really have any glaring issues that I could see, its biggest issue is that it doesn't actually take any risks. The risks it does take are of the safest and most predictable variety. I'm not gonna spoil anything, but I genuinely don't understand why so many people are claiming that the twists are "unexpected." I guess you just need to watch more movies, or something, because I was about twenty minutes ahead the entire time. At least one of you was suspecting that I'd rate this film low strictly because of the scene where the boy, in the girl's body, starts feeling her breasts—and don't get me wrong, it was annoying and cringeworthy to watch, and extremely unnecessary. But I don't actually have a huge problem with it, given the circumstances. If a guy and a girl swapped bodies, it's very realistic to assume that the guy would start groping himself. It's still gross to show it in a movie, but the film had far more pressing issues than that. Overall, it's a very dull and unadventurous flick that commits many-a-sin, falling apart especially during the third act. Even the music was sucky and unmemorable. That being said, I'm about to do something I haven't done before, but I'm being absolutely genuine: I'm actually going to recommend this film to pretty much everybody—because, despite my own criticisms, I still expect most of you idiots to eat it up anyway, since most people have. So go ahead, watch it if you haven't already. Knowing how you people are, you'll all love it. I practically guarantee it. 4/10

Yu-Gi-Oh! (Gallop, 2000, scattered episodes throughout childhood) In my effort to recall every single anime I've ever seen prior to starting my plunge, I somehow forgot this magical masterpiece. I'm not one to judge a show by its premise alone, not anymore—Swiss Army Man taught me that lesson, and that was my favorite film of 2016. That's a film where you take a mind-numbingly stupid premise and execute it perfectly to create something genuine, funny, beautiful, and emotionally poignant. So, Yu-Gi-Oh! is a show with a bad premise—a bunch of kids try to save the world from evil by playing a children's card game. Very dumb premise. Completely asinine. I didn't even enjoy it as a stupid kid (and I liked EVERYTHING when I was a stupid kid). That said, as an adult, I'm able to find plenty of things about it that I enjoy—especially the dub, which has a lot of hilarious localizations that are highlighted by LittleKuriboh's Abridged Series. The problem with the show is that it doesn't do anything to justify its stupid premise—it's just a dumb, dumb show, and you feel dumb watching it, because the show takes everything so fucking seriously—and the more seriously it takes itself, the less you, as a viewer, are ABLE to take it seriously. And that's where all the unintentional humor comes in. I laugh at it now, but when I was still within the show's target demographic, it bored the ever-loving shit out of me, and I'd rather have watched Pokémon. At least that show had some levity and self-awareness. That's the last thing you want, but in retrospect, I actually consider this one of the best worst shows of all time, and it might be worth it to watch a few early episodes along with the Abridged Series, if you haven't already. 3/10

Yu Yu Hakusho (Pierrot, 1992, six episodes) Perhaps this show invokes the Seinfeld Effect, but this is the most boring anime I've ever seen, and I certainly don't see myself sitting through 100 episodes of it. Indeed, I decided to drop it relatively early upon realizing just how long it was. I was told by many people that I'd like it based solely on the fact that it contains "no fanservice," which, 1.) that's almost always complete and utter bullshit, and 2.) I need WAY more reasons than that to enjoy a show, guys. Like an interesting plot, for starters. I know it's a shonen—and a particularly old one at that—and I know that there's an appeal for things like simplicity and "doing what works," but that's no excuse for the story being so bland. These days, it has nothing to set it apart from modern shonen, and I don't think that's an unfair comparison when it had DBZ to compete with back in its day. It resultantly suffers from its poor aging, and unfortunately, there's absolutely nothing about it that grips me enough to keep watching. 3/10

Yu-Gi-Oh! (Toei, 1998, five or six episodes) Also known as season zero, I guess? I didn't even know this shit even existed, except for that one reference to it in LittleKuriboh's Abridged Series ("Screw the rules, I have green hair!"). I don't really know what to say about it, other than that I'm kinda fascinated that it's even a thing. Unlike the more popular Gallop show, the card game isn't really the focus, and a lot of fucking weird shit happens. Almost too weird. The only reason you would watch it is to have a giggle at all the weird stuff that happens, especially to contrast with the other show. It's basically just a meme, and doesn't have much value beyond that. 3/10

Zatch Bell (Toei Animation, 2003, two episodes) 2/10

---

Watchlist:

Fullmetal Alchemist (2003)
Samurai Champloo
K-On!
Hunter x Hunter (1999)
Toradora
Akame ga Kill!
Fate/stay night
Clannad
Black Lagoon
Log Horizon
Ping Pong: The Animation
Sweetness and Lightning
Berserk (2016)
Darker Than Black
Garo: The Animation
Blame!
Overlord
Serial Experiments Lain
Black Clover
Wolf's Rain
Millenium Actress
Summer Wars
Ninja Scroll
Kiki's Delivery Service
Porco Rosso
Redline

The higher up on the list, the more likely I am to watch it.

https://allrgb.com/

The objective of allRGB is simple: To create images with one pixel for every RGB color (16777216); not one color missing, and not one color twice.

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The Evolution Championship Series (Evo for short) represents the largest and longest-running fighting game tournaments in the world. Evo brings together the best of the best from around the world in a dazzling exhibition of skill and fun, as players and fans gather to honor the competitive spirit in an open format and determine a champion.

Our tournaments are about more than just winning. Evo is open to anyone, feature stations available for relaxed free play, and offer unique opportunities to meet people from different countries and different walks of life who share your passion. Established champions face off against unknown newcomers, and new rivals that might have only talked or fought online meet up and become old friends.

---

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https://apps.quanticfoundry.com/lab/gamerprofile/

reposting from bungLe

try not to sperg out and take it too seriously



mine happens to be painfully accurate (remember to check your secondary motivations)

especially this part, jeez:



also, you can let it recommend you games—remember to set release date to "all" and to include niche games

the first ten things that were recommended to me:

Smash 4
Street Fighter IV
Tekken
Xenoblades Chronicles
Chrono Chross
Final Fantasy IV, of all things
Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Persona 2: Innocent Sin
Pokémon Sun & Moon
Fire Emblem Fates

and 86 other games

https://www.theverge.com/2017/6/26/15874154/nintendo-snes-classic-edition-release-date-price-announced

Games:

Contra III: Alien Wars
Donkey Kong Country
EarthBound
Final Fantasy III (but it's actually Final Fantasy VI, obviously)
F-Zero
Kirby Super Star
Kirby's Dream Course
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Mega Man X
Secret of Mana
Star Fox
Star Fox 2 (holy fuck)
Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting
Super Castlevania IV
Super Ghouls 'n Ghosts
Super Mario Kart
Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Super Mario World
Super Metroid
Super Punch-Out!!
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island

>Star Fox 2 was a planned sequel to the original Star Fox for the SNES
>canceled and never officially released because the SNES was on its way out.
>over time, a ROM of the unfinished game surfaced on the Internet
>been playable on emulators for ages
>finally getting an official release
>there's a legal way to play Star Fox 2 now
>only morally-upstanding people like me will appreciate how awesome this is

I've been having a lot of fun recording AMA Part 2, so for a little teaser, I thought I'd just share one of my favorite answers.

Of course, this question answered and more in the full video, ETA tomorrow.

Don't worry—I love my mother, but she was just WAY out of sorts that day, and I simply wasn't having it. At least it made for a pretty funny story, though. Or I thought so, at least.

every now and then, i'll give an artist that i don't particularly like a chance out of boredom—and i'm often glad that i do, because i'm pretty good at picking out their lyrical gems

Nirvana - All Apologies
I wish I was like you—easily amused
Find my nest of salt—everything's my fault
I'll take all the blame, aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn, freezer burn, choking on the ashes of her enemy

that first line, especially how it's delivered, bites like a snake, and the imagery in the next few lines is pretty solid, too

this has always been my favorite nirvana song, and the only one i find myself listening to

discuss why judging people is cool and why everybody should do it to everyone

Why haven't I been posting Anita Sarkeesian's new show here? That's quite unlike me.

00.01 - Whitewashing


00.02 - The Unmanning of Trump


00.03 - Manufacturing a Muslim Menace

---

itt: quality feminism

With the announcement of Pokémon Gold & Silver being released on the Virtual Console this September, I've gotten myself into a nostalgic mood lately, so I thought I'd make this thread where we can discuss our earliest and most cherished memories with our first Pokémon games—mine being Silver, a game that's perhaps closer to my heart than any other game in existence.

I have a whole ton, but I'll try to be succinct for each one.

---

Though my Pokémon journey truly began with Silver, I've technically been a fan ever since the first generation. I watched the original anime religiously, and collected toys and trading cards from that era well before the second generation even existed in America. Pokémon: The First Movie was one of my favorite movies to watch, and I thought Mewtwo was the coolest fucking character ever.

That said, when I finally received both Gold & Silver for Christmas in the year 2000, I never really went back to anything else.

Starting with Silver, I played that shit before I could even read or write. Not fully cognizant of what I was doing, I'd walk around aimlessly until I found a Poké Ball sitting on the ground. When I pick it up, the game tells me that I found a "POTION," not a Poké Ball. What the hell does that mean? Maybe it's the Japanese word for Poké Ball, I told my five-year-old self.

And as for that mean red-haired dude, I consistently named him ???, because that's literally how he introduces himself to you.


So when the officer asks if you caught his name, the only answer to give is ???. I mean, saying anything else would just be lying, right. I always wondered why it was so difficult for the developers to come up with a less awkward way of conveying to us that, yes, you can give your rival any name you want. But at the same time, it's still kinda funny to me.

To this day, the red-haired rival—who is the best rival in any Pokémon game, I think we can all agree—doesn't actually have an official name. People like to believe it's "Silver," but contrary to popular belief, that's not actually confirmed. So, as far as I'm concerned, his name will always be ???.

Sadly, I don't remember what my first Pokémon was. It was either Cyndaquil or Totodile—though I'm willing to bet it was the latter, because Totodile was indeed my favorite Pokémon before I discovered Porygon.

---

Whichever my first Pokémon was, it was eventually Cyndaquil to win the day. Because I was still learning how to read, and this was the first game I've ever played that featured such text-heavy gameplay, I frequently restarted my adventure, because I wanted to understand what the characters were saying so badly. As I kept restarting and kept trying, I understood more and more until I was ready to play the game uninterrupted. You could say that this game, more than anything else, encouraged me to become literate.

Learning to read was one thing, but I still had a lot of trouble spelling at the time. One day, I was fishing in some random town, and I caught a Shellder—a Pokémon I had never seen before, so I assumed it must be rare. I named the thing LOCKE, because that's how I thought you spelled "luck" as a five-year-old. Go figure.

The Cyndaquil that would eventually carry me to the end of the game was named QUIL!. [sic], and since I didn't have any concept of strategy, I didn't generally use any other Pokémon except as HM slaves. This way, QUIL!. ended up gaining all the experience points, which made him incredibly overleveled to a point where he would simply one-shot everything in his path.

His nightmarish moveset consisted of the following moves:
- Cut
- Strength
- Flamethrower
- Return

Marvelous. Don't worry—I realized that teaching him such shitty HM moves was a bad idea, and I tried to replace them several times, but to no avail. Unfortunately, the game doesn't really explain how HMs work in a way that small children could understand, so I was stuck with this fearsome moveset for my entire playthrough. Not that I cared too much, because QUIL!.'s Cut still managed to one-shot pretty much everything anyway (except for Red's Snorlax).

To explain the game's appeal, it simply had this warm, crisp atmosphere of childlike curiosity and sheer, unadulterated wonder that I hadn't experienced before in any other game. The music was cheerful and splendid, the Pokémon were colorful and amazing, and it was just as fun to see the monsters I recognized from the anime as it was to find new discoveries I had never seen before. It also gives you this odd sense of companionship. I found myself growing emotionally attached to my Cyndaquil, and watching him grow into a Quilava and eventually a Typhlosion as I got stronger and cleared through the gyms was an exhilarating, inimitable experience.

And gosh, don't get me started on when I finally discovered that the Kanto region was in this game.

Before my save file was eventually wiped out by the treacheries of battery depreciation, I managed to bring QUIL!. up to level 100. To this day, he's the only Pokémon I've ever managed to bring all the way up to that level.

---

Not all of my memories of this game are positive, however. I was about seven years old at the time of this story.

I made a lot of friends in elementary school—two of which are my closest, and thankfully, we're still in touch to this day. Only one friend in particular played Pokémon, though, and for as young as he was at the time, he was a genius at it. He had every game—Red, Blue, Yellow, Gold, Silver, and Crystal, which was a fancy-pants game I didn't even know existed. That was the one he played the most.

He also collected trading cards and had loads of rare ones in his collection. He even had a ton of game guides, which probably accounted for his immense knowledge of how the games worked—if you had a question about what to do in the game, or where to find a certain Pokémon, he would know off the top of his head.

He was also way further than me in terms of game progress. This isn't that big of a deal nowadays, but for me, this was kind of a big deal, because it meant that someone was better at the game than me. He had ten badges, and I only had four. He has a Lugia, and all I have is my stinkin' Typhlosion. Most importantly, though, he happened to own a snazzy four-player Game Boy link cable, with which we had many battles and trades with.

He would never make good trades with me—he knew what was valuable, and I didn't. I probably made a number of bad trades, but at least I got some Pokédex entries out of him. I would just see a Pokémon I've never seen before, like Misdreavus, and I'd say, "Where the heck did you found that?" and he wouldn't tell me. It was a bona fide Pokémon rival relationship—he was the Gary Oak to my Ash Ketchum. He was okay with giving me tips on how to progress through the game, but he would never give me any tips that may help me beat him in a Pokémon link battle.

Our battles were always pretty intense, because I only had my Typhlosion (who was only around level ~70 at the time) against his team of beefed-up killers, like Lugia, Entei, and Tyranitar. As a result, he would beat me almost every time—I managed to beat him once because of a fluke involving a Focus Band. Even though his Tyranitar resisted every move in QUIL!.'s arsenal, my Typhlosion was at such a higher level that I could two-shot it every time.

And then he'd bring out his Mewtwo—his most prized Pokémon—and that would be the end of it for me. All I could do was watch in awe. It's the same Mewtwo I saw in the movie, and it's just as powerful, just as cool.

I asked him where he got his Mewtwo from, and he told me that you can only get it by transferring it over from Pokémon Red, Blue, or Yellow using the game's Time Capsule facility, found in the far back of every Pokémon Center. Sheepishly, I asked him if he was willing to trade it for something—needless to say, I was denied.

Eventually, I convinced him to trade it to me under the condition that I'd immediately trade it back—I told him that all I really cared about was the Pokédex data, and he was okay with that. Over at his house, I let him handle the trading with both of our devices, because my mother had called in order to check up on me. Normally, she used to require me to check in every few hours, and I hadn't done so at all that day—so she took it upon herself to call me instead, to tell me that she was making dinner at home. She sounded quite frustrated, too, so I knew I had to leave straightaway.

I told my friend, who was still in the middle of the trade, that I had to leave and that I was in a hurry. Before giving him a chance to respond, I snatched my Game Boy and unplugged the device from the link cable... as the trade was still going on.

Panicked, my friend angrily shouted at me not to leave, because I had just made a grave mistake—and I realized what I had done right away. It was too late, though—in my haste, I had already shut my Game Boy off. There's a very good chance that something bad might have happened to his Mewtwo during that botched trade.

Still panicked, my friend demanded that I check my party to see if a Mewtwo is there, where my Typhlosion was.

I checked, and to my dismay, I only saw five Pokémon in my party. The Mewtwo was gone—his data signal vanished within the cable, never to be retrieved again.

My Typhlosion, however, was safe and sound in my friend's Crystal file.

This almost killed our friendship. Once I told him that his Mewtwo was missing, he started crying, and told me that he's never giving my Typhlosion back now—and to be honest, as bad as I felt, and as bad as I fucked up, I completely understood. QUIL!. was his now. There's virtually nothing I can do to make up for this monumental fuck-up. Since I was unfamiliar, though, I asked him if there was any way to get another Mewtwo—"NO, there isn't," he snapped at me. "You can only get it once, and he's gone now."

Feeling all sorts of awkwardness and guilt, I left his house, feeling like the scummy asshole I was. I genuinely felt horrible.

We didn't speak for a whole week, until I was forced to sit with him on the bus one day. I told him that I was sorry about Mewtwo, and that I was sorry that I didn't apologize sooner. He said that it was okay, and that he had mostly gotten over it, but he was still unhappy with me. I understood, but I had to ask about my Typhlosion—that thing was my virtual pride and joy, and I was worried if he had released him out of spite or something.

He told me that he was fine, and that he just stuffed him in the Daycare, where he had gained quite a few levels (he was in the 80s or 90s). He then told me that I could have him back if I wanted—I think he could tell that I really wanted him back, though I never dared say it. I thanked him and told him yes, I'd be glad to have him back. I didn't know how to make it up to him. He told me not to worry about it, because he was starting to lose interest in Pokémon anyway, which made me feel really sad. I asked him if I had anything to do with that, and he said no—but I don't know. To this day, I'm not so sure about that.

Either way, when I received QUIL!. back, I proceeded to train him up to level 100—and that's the story of how I fully trained my first cognizant Pokémon. I had a little bit of... "help," but it was still pretty awesome. Naturally, I had to ask my friend for one last battle, if he was truly done with Pokémon. We must have been eight or nine years old at this point. He accepted, and he used his old team of monsters.

QUIL!. was at a point where he one-shotted everything this time—even Tyranitar and Lugia. Normally, this is when his Mewtwo would be sent out to kick my ass. When it didn't show up, I felt a pit in my stomach.

In its place, however, was something even stronger. It turned out that he had a level 100 Pokémon of his own: A Sandslash, which I never knew about. He told me that he had kept a Sandslash in the daycare since the near-beginning of his playthrough, and never took him out until he had beaten the Elite Four several times over. When he finally took it out, the thing had reached its maximum level—and now he's using it against me.

Of all the things he could've slapped in the Daycare, it had to be a Ground-type—naturally, Ground beats my Typhlosion's Fire, so you could imagine how that matchup ended.

I never got my triumphant victory against his team, and even if I had beat him, the fact that I was never able to beat his Mewtwo would've been a big asterisk on our last fight. As it turned out, the only way I was able to beat his Mewtwo was to inadvertently destroy it myself.

Thankfully, neither of us take Pokémon so seriously anymore—but now I'm the one who knows more than him, and he doesn't really play video games much at all anymore. I never really made up for the Mewtwo incident, which I regret—but he's studying economics and computer science at Yale now, so I'm sure he has much better things to worry about. We're still in touch, though, and every now and then, we still take a trip down memory lane from when we were both fighting to become Pokémon Masters.

---

Do you remember the first Pokémon you ever caught in a Master Ball?

I remember first receiving the Master Ball. That same friend from earlier told me about this legendary Poké Ball that could get a guaranteed capture on anything, and without weakening it. It's basically the game's Master Sword, or Excalibur—even the mere concept sounded thrilling. I had to find it, and he told me exactly where.

He didn't tell me what to use it on, though—he just told me, "You only get one, so don't waste it on something stupid."

Heeding his advice, I tried to think of Pokémon that I would actually use it on, and I immediately thought of the legendary beasts (which I called the "legendary dogs" at the time). The trouble is, they tend to appear wherever they want, and they're extremely hard to follow—especially because they run away as soon as you encounter them. The Master Ball solves that problem, but how am I supposed to predict where Entei and Suicune are (this was before I learned that you can use the Pokédex to track down the beasts that you've seen at least once).

I kept the beasts in mind, but I never actively searched them out, because I thought it was impossible.

Then one day, I saw this thing:


I thought to myself, "...Skarmory? Is that some kind of legendary bird, like Moltres?"

It looked pretty formidable, so I thought very hard about whether to throw the Master Ball at it. I've never seen one until now, and I may not ever see one again, so I wasn't sure what to do.

Eventually, I decided against it—but I came SO close to wasting my first Master Ball on a Skarmory, just because I had mistaken it for a legendary bird.

Eventually, I ended up using it on a Suicune that I spotted shortly thereafter. Much better. That Suicune ended up becoming a valued member, too—if for whatever reason QUIL!. was decommissioned, Suicune was my back-up.

---

Now we're getting into some bullshit. In Gold & Silver, Unown is a pseudo-mysterious, pseudo-"legendary" Pokémon that are meant to represent ancient hieroglyphics. They have no in-game significance whatsoever, making them one of the biggest red herrings in gaming history.

Unown are not powerful. They have incredbily low stats and they can only ever know one attack: Hidden Power, making them utterly useless for gameplay. What makes them intriguing to a child, however, is that they're all shaped in the letters of the Latin alphabet, which means that they can be used to spell words when ordered properly in your team.

Certain letters of Unown are only available in progressively deeper portions of an area called the Ruins of Alph. So, in order to collect every letter of Unown, you have to progress quite far in the game, which creates a lot of interesting build-up.

Let me tell you—I went and caught every single letter of the Unown alphabet as a kid, and I was so pissed to discover that it gave you absolutely nothing. I was even more pissed to discover that the common rumor where, if you collect the letters C, E, L, E, B, I, arrange them in that order, and head to the shrine in the Ilex Forest, that a wild Celebi would appear—this was also just a farce.

Everything about Unown is dogshit, and at age seven, I had already declared them my least favorite Pokémon. Please, Game Freak, do something interesting with these pieces of shit. What the fuck is the point of keeping them around if you're not even going to give them any plot significance? They're so worthless. It's just sad.

---

Around the time my friend stopped playing Pokémon, he decided to lend me his link cable so that I could do trades on my own. It was during this time that I took an interest in glitches and exploits.

At this point, I had already played my fair share of Red, Blue, and Yellow. My friend was telling me about this new  Pokémon he had discovered on the Internet called Missingno., and how dangerous it is for you to actually encounter it in the game. The way he described it, it was like a creepy horror story—unsettling, but likely untrue. C'mon, a glitch Pokémon that gives you infinite items, but destroys your game if you try to capture it? Sounded like BS to me at the time.

And for the most part, yeah, it kind of was bullshit. There was a lot of paranoia going around at the time Missingno. was first discovered—people used to claim that it would delete your save file if you so much as encountered it, but I would discover firsthand that none of it was actually true. It was still an enigma, but from there, I found websites like TRsRockin.com that contained an entire database of all KINDS of weird glitch Pokémon and other weird stuff that can happen under certain conditions.

This was like adding a whole nother dimension to these games that I loved, and I instantly became hooked on finding and exploiting as many glitches as possible. I then tried to find glitches for Gold and Silver, and while there were considerably less of them, I did manage to stumble upon a few of my own.

I was transporting starters using the link cable one day when I accidentally bumped the cable as a trade was going on. The trade still went through, but something very odd happened—the Totodile that I traded over had its name changed to a single dash, hyphen, or minus sign. That was certainly odd, but things didn't start getting REALLY weird until I checked my PC afterwards, which was filled to the brim with a random assortment of Pokémon, all with jumbled names, odd levels (including some level 0s), and some that didn't even have any attacks. One of them was a Raikou, a legendary beast that I hadn't even encountered in my life before. My mailbox was filled with a bunch of spammy nonsense—probably a bunch of love letters from Missingno. and company.

The oddest thing of all was a Snorlax holding an item called a "TERU-SAMA." I had no idea what this item was at the time, and it didn't appear to have any immediate use. For some reason, it didn't even occur to me to simply Google whatever the hell it was—so I just sold it, because it sold for a decent amount of money.

It turns out that the Teru-Sama is an item dummied out of the American version of Pokémon Gold & Silver—there are 29 varieties of them in the game's code, and can be obtained through a variety of exploits. One of the varieties of Teru-Sama occupies the same space as the GS Ball—a Japan-exclusive item that's used to capture Celebi in the Ilex Forest. This means that I may have been able to use that thing to try to catch a Celebi with in the American version of the game, and I fucking sold it. It was the only one in my PC, too, and I had no idea how to replicate the glitch.

Fortunately, as I later discovered, there does exist a glitch that allows you to catch a Celebi anyway—but as far as I know, Game Freak never actually gave America a single opportunity to catch a legitimate Celebi in the entire lifespan of generation II.

---

One last story—this is pretty much the last notable thing that happened in my Pokémon Silver game, and it was the first time I found a shiny Pokémon. I was maybe twelve, thirteen years old.

This is well after my file was wiped. Still mourning the loss of my precious file, and my Typhlosion, I began a new game. This time, I was playing the game on a Super Nintendo, using the Super Gameboy cartridge. It basically allows you to play Game Boy games on your television, which is pretty nice.

I started a new adventure, and about ten minutes in, I find an oddly-colored Rattata that gave off this really cool sparkling animation before the fight began. I had no idea what a shiny Pokémon was at the time, but I obviously noticed that there was something very weird about this Rattata, so I immediately caught it and told all my friends about it. They told me that I had just found something very rare, and that I should be very excited.

This was back when shinies had a flat 1/8192 rate of being encountered. There were no cheesy, dumbass methods of obtaining a shiny—it's all sheer, dumb luck. But in my years of playing and being faithful to this game in particular, I was honestly due for at least one, even if it's just a measly Rattata.

Several years later, this eventually came full circle in Generation VII, when I found a Shiny Alolan Raticate randomly in the wild as well. I've found many shinies in my day—at least ten or twelve—but there was something special about my first and last ones both being ugly rats. I don't know, it's oddly poetic.

---

I obviously have many more stories to tell from this game, and even more from the other generations, but given that this one is my absolute favorite, I decided to talk exclusively about it here. This doesn't have to be about Generation II for you—it can be about anything, as long as it gives you some kind of nostalgia.