When Zelensky won president election year ago.
I'm pro life. And free market capitalist.
it was good of you to specify life itself, rather than my own specificallythat said, it definitely solidified at some point in high school, although the seeds were sown from birth obviously
When I broke my leg and as a result lost a chance to play for Leinster (my province) in rugby
February 16 2018
When I accepted that the human condition IS suffering, and that the goal of society ought to be addressing and correcting its symptoms.
That's a complicated question with a complicated answer.
Junior year of high school, I think
Fuck, I DID peak in high school.
Quote from: Ehnsanity on May 24, 2020, 08:17:12 AMWhen I broke my leg and as a result lost a chance to play for Leinster (my province) in rugbyWow that's heavy Was it a big platform to be seen on or something?
Was there one event or was it a gradual slide into despair
Quote from: Verbatim on May 24, 2020, 02:07:13 PMit was good of you to specify life itself, rather than my own specificallythat said, it definitely solidified at some point in high school, although the seeds were sown from birth obviouslyghey
Quote from: MetaCognition on May 25, 2020, 11:57:10 AMQuote from: Verbatim on May 24, 2020, 02:07:13 PMit was good of you to specify life itself, rather than my own specificallythat said, it definitely solidified at some point in high school, although the seeds were sown from birth obviouslygheyfuck kierkegaard tbh
Quote from: Ingy on May 25, 2020, 12:40:08 PMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 24, 2020, 01:18:18 PMThat's a complicated question with a complicated answer.Was there one event or was it a gradual slide into despairI feel like I can't really say I "hate" life anymore because things just aren't as bad as they used to be. Life is still pretty shit overall but it'll never come close to how it was. From having my first major existential crisis in 4th/5th grade to being kicked out, going homeless and losing everything and everyone I cared about. I don't hate simply existing anymore, for the most part I'm fairly okay with it.Could make a lengthy blog post but it's whatever.I spent an unhealthy amount of time on this forum as a sort of crutch for how much my life was falling apart.
Quote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 24, 2020, 01:18:18 PMThat's a complicated question with a complicated answer.Was there one event or was it a gradual slide into despair
Quote from: Jet Wave on May 25, 2020, 06:23:33 AMFuck, I DID peak in high school.Was there one event or was it a gradual slide into despair
Quote from: E on May 25, 2020, 09:38:22 PMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 25, 2020, 08:32:00 PMQuote from: Ingy on May 25, 2020, 12:40:08 PMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 24, 2020, 01:18:18 PMThat's a complicated question with a complicated answer.Was there one event or was it a gradual slide into despairI feel like I can't really say I "hate" life anymore because things just aren't as bad as they used to be. Life is still pretty shit overall but it'll never come close to how it was. From having my first major existential crisis in 4th/5th grade to being kicked out, going homeless and losing everything and everyone I cared about. I don't hate simply existing anymore, for the most part I'm fairly okay with it.Could make a lengthy blog post but it's whatever.I spent an unhealthy amount of time on this forum as a sort of crutch for how much my life was falling apart.Ah, you did some time on the streets and came out of it too huh. Good on you for managing to pull yourself out. I know how hard it can be to get out of that circle.I fought against it from happening every single step of the way and ultimately I was still powerless towards preventing it from happening. The hardest part about it was how goddamn hard I tried to do things right but how I lacked any control whatsoever of the situation. It was like I accidentally bumped into the boulder, and once it started rolling down the hill there was no stopping it no matter how desperately I tried to.I kept trying and trying and trying and it seemed like I kept getting curbstomped into the ground. I remember this overwhelming feeling that I wanted to just give up but for some reason I just didn't, this feeling that I was continuing the crawl forward against my will despite being kicked and stepped on over and over along the way. I didn't want to keep going, but I did anyway.I'm still around and kicking, and will continue to do so. But I find that my drive and passion is gone, washed up. The motivation I had back then, when I pushed through ridiculous amounts of bullshit to make things happen despite it, it's gone. I don't trust people, I don't have faith in anything. Been pretty socially isolated even before this pandemic stuff started. Yet for some reason I still hope that one day I'll be in a comfortable enough position where I'm self sustaining and content with my life. I still hope that one day my motivation will come back and I can actually do something meaningful with my life, in whatever capacity it may be.
Quote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 25, 2020, 08:32:00 PMQuote from: Ingy on May 25, 2020, 12:40:08 PMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 24, 2020, 01:18:18 PMThat's a complicated question with a complicated answer.Was there one event or was it a gradual slide into despairI feel like I can't really say I "hate" life anymore because things just aren't as bad as they used to be. Life is still pretty shit overall but it'll never come close to how it was. From having my first major existential crisis in 4th/5th grade to being kicked out, going homeless and losing everything and everyone I cared about. I don't hate simply existing anymore, for the most part I'm fairly okay with it.Could make a lengthy blog post but it's whatever.I spent an unhealthy amount of time on this forum as a sort of crutch for how much my life was falling apart.Ah, you did some time on the streets and came out of it too huh. Good on you for managing to pull yourself out. I know how hard it can be to get out of that circle.
Quote from: E on May 26, 2020, 02:29:30 AMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 26, 2020, 12:51:07 AMQuote from: E on May 25, 2020, 09:38:22 PMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 25, 2020, 08:32:00 PMQuote from: Ingy on May 25, 2020, 12:40:08 PMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 24, 2020, 01:18:18 PMThat's a complicated question with a complicated answer.Was there one event or was it a gradual slide into despairI feel like I can't really say I "hate" life anymore because things just aren't as bad as they used to be. Life is still pretty shit overall but it'll never come close to how it was. From having my first major existential crisis in 4th/5th grade to being kicked out, going homeless and losing everything and everyone I cared about. I don't hate simply existing anymore, for the most part I'm fairly okay with it.Could make a lengthy blog post but it's whatever.I spent an unhealthy amount of time on this forum as a sort of crutch for how much my life was falling apart.Ah, you did some time on the streets and came out of it too huh. Good on you for managing to pull yourself out. I know how hard it can be to get out of that circle.I fought against it from happening every single step of the way and ultimately I was still powerless towards preventing it from happening. The hardest part about it was how goddamn hard I tried to do things right but how I lacked any control whatsoever of the situation. It was like I accidentally bumped into the boulder, and once it started rolling down the hill there was no stopping it no matter how desperately I tried to.I kept trying and trying and trying and it seemed like I kept getting curbstomped into the ground. I remember this overwhelming feeling that I wanted to just give up but for some reason I just didn't, this feeling that I was continuing the crawl forward against my will despite being kicked and stepped on over and over along the way. I didn't want to keep going, but I did anyway.I'm still around and kicking, and will continue to do so. But I find that my drive and passion is gone, washed up. The motivation I had back then, when I pushed through ridiculous amounts of bullshit to make things happen despite it, it's gone. I don't trust people, I don't have faith in anything. Been pretty socially isolated even before this pandemic stuff started. Yet for some reason I still hope that one day I'll be in a comfortable enough position where I'm self sustaining and content with my life. I still hope that one day my motivation will come back and I can actually do something meaningful with my life, in whatever capacity it may be.Never too late to start anew. I spent five years as a wanderer with no place to stay and no income. Managed to keep myself alive by stealing money from people, just enough so as not to be missed, not enough to get attacked by other homeless, but enough to buy food for the day. My home's not much of an upgrade over what I was, a truck camper on a truck, but boy is it nice to have during the winters up here.I'll tell you some stuff. Motivation doesn't arrive out of the blue. It's all in how you frame reality. At any point in time you can stand up and choose to do it differently. The focal point should never be the difficulty. Problems will always come no matter what you do and how you prepare. What matters is the goal and whether or not you want to let yourself be stopped from reaching it.And I get the slow crawl. I wake up and go to sleep every day missing a person I love very dearly. Life's dreadfully awful without her company to the point that I don't have much of an existence with any meaning, other than two things. To stick around because I know she'd want me to fight it, and because I want to honor the dream we had and build the house we both wanted to build together. Contentment and happiness take time to re-learn but you gotta be open to it, and on occasion, fight very hard for it.I never stole anything, but I'd been stolen from plenty of times during that time. Was even held at knife-point once. I dedicated my life to volunteering, because no one was hiring me anyway and all these various organizations were more than happy to take my free labor and I was deluded enough to think I was making a difference. Frankly it was the only thing that gave me a sense of purpose. It was also a good way to meet people that let me crash their couches though. I've won tons of small scholarships for all the work I did and they were supposed to help me go to university. All of it went to rent. In any case, eventually I managed to attempt attending community college despite still not having stable housing, had a really rocky semester and then I got in contact with my current roommate. He's basically the only reason I've been in relatively stable housing for the last few years.
Quote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 26, 2020, 12:51:07 AMQuote from: E on May 25, 2020, 09:38:22 PMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 25, 2020, 08:32:00 PMQuote from: Ingy on May 25, 2020, 12:40:08 PMQuote from: ಠ_ಠ on May 24, 2020, 01:18:18 PMThat's a complicated question with a complicated answer.Was there one event or was it a gradual slide into despairI feel like I can't really say I "hate" life anymore because things just aren't as bad as they used to be. Life is still pretty shit overall but it'll never come close to how it was. From having my first major existential crisis in 4th/5th grade to being kicked out, going homeless and losing everything and everyone I cared about. I don't hate simply existing anymore, for the most part I'm fairly okay with it.Could make a lengthy blog post but it's whatever.I spent an unhealthy amount of time on this forum as a sort of crutch for how much my life was falling apart.Ah, you did some time on the streets and came out of it too huh. Good on you for managing to pull yourself out. I know how hard it can be to get out of that circle.I fought against it from happening every single step of the way and ultimately I was still powerless towards preventing it from happening. The hardest part about it was how goddamn hard I tried to do things right but how I lacked any control whatsoever of the situation. It was like I accidentally bumped into the boulder, and once it started rolling down the hill there was no stopping it no matter how desperately I tried to.I kept trying and trying and trying and it seemed like I kept getting curbstomped into the ground. I remember this overwhelming feeling that I wanted to just give up but for some reason I just didn't, this feeling that I was continuing the crawl forward against my will despite being kicked and stepped on over and over along the way. I didn't want to keep going, but I did anyway.I'm still around and kicking, and will continue to do so. But I find that my drive and passion is gone, washed up. The motivation I had back then, when I pushed through ridiculous amounts of bullshit to make things happen despite it, it's gone. I don't trust people, I don't have faith in anything. Been pretty socially isolated even before this pandemic stuff started. Yet for some reason I still hope that one day I'll be in a comfortable enough position where I'm self sustaining and content with my life. I still hope that one day my motivation will come back and I can actually do something meaningful with my life, in whatever capacity it may be.Never too late to start anew. I spent five years as a wanderer with no place to stay and no income. Managed to keep myself alive by stealing money from people, just enough so as not to be missed, not enough to get attacked by other homeless, but enough to buy food for the day. My home's not much of an upgrade over what I was, a truck camper on a truck, but boy is it nice to have during the winters up here.I'll tell you some stuff. Motivation doesn't arrive out of the blue. It's all in how you frame reality. At any point in time you can stand up and choose to do it differently. The focal point should never be the difficulty. Problems will always come no matter what you do and how you prepare. What matters is the goal and whether or not you want to let yourself be stopped from reaching it.And I get the slow crawl. I wake up and go to sleep every day missing a person I love very dearly. Life's dreadfully awful without her company to the point that I don't have much of an existence with any meaning, other than two things. To stick around because I know she'd want me to fight it, and because I want to honor the dream we had and build the house we both wanted to build together. Contentment and happiness take time to re-learn but you gotta be open to it, and on occasion, fight very hard for it.
When Did You Begin To Hate Life?
