OH, Väinämöinen.

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''a god, hero and the central character in Finnish folklore and the main character in the national epic Kalevala. His name comes from the Finnish word väinä, meaning stream pool. Väinämöinen was described as an old and wise man, and he possessed a potent, magical voice.''

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The first extant mention of Väinämöinen in literature is from a list of Tavastian gods by Mikael Agricola in 1551. He and other writers described Väinämöinen as the god of chants, songs and poetry. In many stories Väinämöinen was the central figure at the birth of the world. The Finnish national epic, Kalevala tells of his birth in the creation story in its opening sections. This myth displays elements of creation from chaos and from a cosmic egg, as well as earth diver creation.

At first there were only primal waters and Sky. But Sky also had a daughter named Ilmatar. One day, seeking a resting place, Ilmatar descended to the waters. There she swam and floated for 700 years until she noticed a beautiful bird also searching for a resting place. Ilmatar raised her knee towards the bird so it could land, which it did. The bird then laid six eggs made of gold and one made of iron. As the bird incubated her eggs Ilmatar's knee grew warmer and warmer until finally she was burned by the heat and reacted by jerking her leg. This motion dislodged the eggs, which then fell and shattered in the waters. Land was formed from the lower part of one of the eggshells while sky formed from the top. The egg whites turned into the moon and stars, and the yolk became the sun.

Ilmatar spent another few hundred years floating in the waters, admiring the results of these broken eggs until she could not resist the urge growing inside her to continue creation. Her foot prints became pools for fish and simply by pointing she created contours in the land. In this way she made all that is. Then one day she gave birth to Väinämöinen, the first man, whose father was the sea. Väinämöinen swam off until he found land, but the land was barren so he asked the Great Bear in the sky for help. A boy carrying seeds was sent down to him, and this boy spread flora across the land.

Everything is important; nothing is important.

There is no absolute, you cannot have something that is unstoppable and something that is immovable. At the same time, neither of those things can exist without the other and so neither exists in the first place.

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So there was this dude who the gods hired to build some shit
They said they would be pay him if he completed the task in three days

But he and his super strong horse were jacked up and tore through the building faster than I tear through dat ass

So Loki went down to stop him so the gods wouldn't have to pay and shit

To do this, he tried to distract the horse by transforming into a sexy mare

Only, the horse ended up raping him and he got pregnant

I think the kid that resulted from that killed Thor and Odin or something

Finn McCool, an Irish Giant who was the smartest in the lands, was looking across to Scotland when he sees a giant over there. Being an arrogant fellow, he shouts across the waters to challenge him to a fight, but the giant doesn't reply. He shouts again, louder but he still ignores Finn. This enrages Finn, for how could someone ignore him?

He gets so mad that he starts grabbing chunks of the ground by his feet and packing it into hexagons, slamming them into the sea to construct a bridge to Scotland and the giant. He walks across and begins climbing a ledge to reach the giant and challenge him, but as he reaches the top he sees the giant sitting down, facing away from him.

This giant is fucking huge, at least 3-4 times bigger than Finn, so he freaks out and runs back across his bridge to his home. As he sprints across, he hears the giant following behind him. He bursts into his house and explains the situation to his wife. She concocts a plan to save him from being beat the shit out of, by telling him to lie down on the floor and put a tablecloth around his neck.

Just as he does this, the Scottish giant knocks on the door. Finn's wife answers, and the giant asks for Finn McCool to answer his challenge. Finn's wife explains that unfortunately Finn is out, but he'll be back soon, and in the mean time can wait inside. The giant accepts and walks in, noticing Finn with the tablecloth.

"That's my baby" Finn's wife explains. "He's just like his father, big and strong"
Finn plays along, gurgling, and probably shitting himself at the sight of the giant staring at him. The giant begins to re-think Finn's challenge. "If this is his baby, what size must HE be?"

As Finn's wife offers a drink to the giant while he waits, he makes excuses and hurredly leaves Finn's house. His jog becomes a full-on sprint by the time he reaches Finn's bridge and as he thunders down it, it collapses leaving only the parts on the coasts of Ireland and Scotland. In the giant's hurry he looses his shoe at the start of the bridge and Finn, again arrogant at his "victory",  shouts over as the giant runs away, hurling boulders at him.