Anime fucking sucks and if you watch it you're stupid (unless you're me)

 
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everything i watched for the 1996 "list"

Spoiler
Rurouni Kenshin (Studio Gallop, 1996, thirty episodes) It lacks a lot of my least favorite tropes, despite being a shonen, so it's respectable in that regard. I enjoyed it enough to sit through a decent chunk of it, but I kinda just stopped caring after all. It's just too long, and the story is too messy and uneven for me to continue following. The inconsistent quality of the episodes caused me to find myself growing bored with it more often than not. That said, it's one of the better shonen I've ever tried out, but it's still nothing special. 5/10

Case Closed (TMS Entertainment, 1996, one episode) AKA Detective Conan. The most noteworthy thing about this show is that it's still ongoing. Think about that. This show has been airing for over twenty years. It has almost nine hundred episodes. Here's the thing—when I watch a show, I want every single episode to be fucking awesome. That's what I'm asking for. That's my standard. The odds of this show having 900 episodes of pure entertainment and nothing else are slim to fucking none, so I think I'm gonna have to sit this one out. Go ahead and take my rating with a grain of salt, because I'm basing it off the first episode alone, and I'm well aware that I've only tried a thousandth of what the show has to offer. I just can't handle these long-ass shows. 3/10

Bakusou Kyoudai Let's & Go (Production IG, 1996, one episode) Old, bad, dumb kid's show.3/10

Spooky Kitaro (Toei Animation, 1996, three episodes) This actually could've been a pretty fun show if they played up its strengths more—namely, the atmosphere and character designs. It's bogged down by typical stupid anime shit. There's a character with an eyeball for a head, though, so that's pretty cool. 4/10

Yuusha Shirei Dagwon (Sunrise, 1996, two episodes) Mecha trash. 2/10

Sonic the Hedgehog (Studio Pierrot, 1996, completed) The first attempt at a Sonic anime. It's not good. How did you expect it to turn out? 3/10

Fire Emblem (Studio Fantasia, 1996, completed) The first attempt at a Fire Emblem anime. It's fucking shit. I don't know what I was expecting. 1/10

Seikimatsu Darling (Unknown studio, 1996, completed) 2/10

My Dear Marie (Studio Pierrot, 1996, completed) Just watch Weird Science. 3/10

Starship Girl Yamamoto Yohko (J.C. Staff, 1996, completed) 2/10

Ninja Cadet (Unknown studio, 1996, completed) This series was never finished, apparently, because the director (or someone) died before they could do so. 2/10

Special Duty Combat Unit Shinesman (Production IG, 1996, completed) 1/10

Power Dolls (OLM, 1996, completed) An all-female cast of women who all have the exact same face and body type. Very progressive. 1/10

Marriage (Unknown studio, 1996, completed) 2/10

Armageddon (Unknown studio, 1996, completed) One of the stupidest things I've ever seen. 1/10

Chocchan Monogatari (Unknown, 1996, completed) I saw someone on MAL describe this one as Grave of the Fireflies-lite. I concur. 4/10

The Vision of Escaflowne (Sunrise, 1996, four episodes) 4/10

Kodocho (Studio Gallop, 1996, one episode) This is one of those "you gotta watch fifty episodes first before it gets good" and GUESS WHAT I'm not doing that. If having every single episode be worth watching is too much to ask of your shitty-ass show, then it really isn't worth it. Sorry not sorry. 4/10

Hell Teacher Nube (Toei Animation, 1996, three episodes) Never been one for body horror, even if this show is pretty light about it. It's not that I can't handle it—I just think it's a dumb gimmick that isn't worth wasting hours of my life on. 3/10

B'T X (TMS Entertainment, 1996, one episode) Just more mecha shit. 2/10

The Magnificent Zorro (Ashi Production, 1996, one episode) Always thought Zorro was kinda lame, so naturally, I'm not gonna find the anime adaptation of it any cooler. 2/10

Mizuiro Jidai (Nippon Animation, 1996, one episode) About as mind-numblingly basic as a show can get. 1/10

VS Knight Lamune & 40 Fire (Production Reed, 1996, one episode) Classic offensive shlock. 1/10

Green Makibao (Studio Pierrot, 1996, one episode) 2/10

Shamanic Princess (Triangle Staff, 1996, two episodes) 1/10

Burn Up! W (AIC, 1996, three episodes) 1/10

Magic User's Club OVA (Production Reed, 1996, completed) Hell, I didn't even know "magical boy" was a thing in Japan. That's kind of refreshing, I guess. This OVA still sucks, though. 4/10

Battle Arena Toshinden (J.C.Staff, 1996, completed) Based on a mediocre fighting game series that went on to be the spiritual predecessor of the awesome Soul Calibur franchise. Go and play that instead. 2/10

Sanctuary (Pastel, 1996, completed) 3/10

Mutant Turtles: Superman Legend (Unknown studio, 1996, first episode) This is a thing that exists. Incredible. 1/10

Debutante Detective Corps (Gainax, 1996, completed) 1/10

Tattoon Master (AIC, 1996, one episode) 2/10

Landlock (Unknown studio, 1996, one episode) 2/10

Idol Fighter Su-Chi-Pai (Daume, 1996, completed) 1/10

Bounty Hunter: The Hard (J.C.Staff, 1996, completed) 1/10

Baby and Me (Studio Pierrot, 1996, two episodes) 4/10

Ganbarist! Shun (Sunrise, 1996, two episodes) 3/10

Birdy the Mighty (Madhouse, 1996, two episodes) 1/10

Garzey's Wing (J.C.Staff, 1996, completed) A lot of people seem to think this is a so-bad-it's-good show. I can't say that I agree. It's so-bad-it's-bad. 1/10

Chrono Trigger (Production IG, 1996, completed) Another "Just Play the Game" type of show. 3/10

Kimera (Unknown studio, 1996, completed) 2/10

Maze: The Mega-Burst Space OVA (J.C.Staff, 1996, completed) 1/10

Voltage Fighter Gowcaizer (J.C.Staff, 1996, one episode) 1/10

Future GPX Cyber Formula Saga (Sunrise, 1996, one episode) 2/10

Twin Signal (Unknown studio, 1996, one episode) 3/10

Hurricane Polymar: Holy Blood (J.C.Staff, 1996, one episode) 1/10

Jigokudou Reikai Tsuushin (Unknown studio, 1996, completed) Really striking art style on this one, but that's about it. If not for the cool visuals, it probably wouldn't have stuck out in my mind as much. I also give it points for being able to communicate everything so well through its visuals—the only stream of it I was able to find lacked English subtitles, but it didn't really matter. 5/10

X - The Movie (Madhouse, 1996, completed) Whatever the fuck this even is, I feel like I've seen several better versions of the same general story. It's pretty well-crafted, though. 4/10

Hana Yori Dango (Toei Animation, 1996, three episodes) Basic shojo romance garbage. Painful, stupid, boring. 3/10

Martian Successor Nadesico (Xebec, 1996, completed) The last show that I completed from this year, and it's not bad. I'd put it up there with Rurouni Kenshin in terms of how much entertainment value I was able to get out of it. Which isn't a lot, but it's far and away better than most of the complete and utter shit I've been sifting through for 1996. It can be looked upon as a parody of the mecha genre, and it'll be a good time if you do that. If you find yourself getting too hung up with its unsubtle anime-isms, though, it probably won't be a very good time. It's a weird one. 5/10

Those Who Hunt Elves (Group TAC, 1996, one episode) 2/10

Remi, Nobody's Girl (Nippon Animation, 1996, three episodes) World Masterpiece Theater. Not as immediately engaging as Romeo and the Black Brothers. 5/10

Violinist of Hamelin (Studio Deen, 1996, two episodes) 3/10

Chouja Raideen (Sunrise, 1996, one episode) 2/10

YAT Anshin! Uchuu Ryokou (Group TAC, 1996, one episode) 1/10

Angel Densetsu (Toei Animation, 1996, one episode) 3/10

Apocalypse Zero (Ashi Production, 1996, completed) 1/10

Master of Mosquiton (Unknown studio, 1996, one episode) 3/10

The Adventures of Kotetsu (Unknown studio, 1996, one episode) 1/10

Panzer Dragoon (Production IG, 1996, one episode) Cool games make shit shows. What a working formula. 1/10

Spring & Chaos (Unknown studio, 1996, completed) 6/10

didn't feel like bumping the thread for any of this random garbage, i'd rather draw more attention to my thoughts on popular stuff and things that i've actually been recommended

i could go straight into 1997 from here, but maybe i could also go backwards and do 94 instead

and maybe i'll try to keep up with the current season too, because that's more relevant (and it'll give me an opportunity to praise devilman at the end of the year)


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Not to be confused with alphy or any other alpha.
Holy wall of text Batman.


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the one true God is Doctor Doom and we should all be worshiping him.
Write up a big damn master list of your most hated anime tropes.


 
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Write up a big damn master list of your most hated anime tropes.
fun idea, might do

would take too long to do in one sitting, but let's get all the obvious ones out of the way:

recycling the same exact conventional art style that's associated with all anime over and over and over again—big eyes, small noses, thin outlines, slender frames, unnatural hair colors, over-the-top hairstyles, overly generic hairstyles

when main characters have 10x the care and detail put into their designs as opposed to background characters, and when background characters or extras have NO detail or thought put into them whatsoever (i understand budget and time constraints, but i'm still allowed to hate this)

lazy animation tricks—overuse of key frames, tweening, repeat cut, random chibifying/super deformation, only having two frames for talking scenes (open mouth, shut mouth—DONE!), literally recycling previous animations, and other stupid shit

every character has the same exact face

fanservice

wish fulfillment

>draw a girl
>call it a boy
*i would also hate the reverse of this—if it ever happened, which it doesn't

>draw a fully-developed adult
>call it a child or teenager

>draw a child
>sexualize them

>draw a child
>they're actually 700 so don't worry it's not pedophilia

disgusting pervert goes way out of line on several occasions, but is never seriously taken to task because everything he does is played for laughs and is shot with a comedic tone, so that makes it all okay and you should just laugh with them because hahaha humans are disgusting scumshit isn't that so cute and funny

female characters whose personality = "is sexually attractive"

sexually attractive female characters who are "badasses" and do conventionally masculine things as a substitute for anything unique or interesting—bonus points if they are cold, aloof, and/or distant because they're just so COOL

camera cuts to or pans over a girl's body for absolutely no reason, other than pandering

WHOOPS the MC just accidentally groped his love interest in the most convenient way ever HOW EMBARRASSING

WHOOPS the main female character just had a wardrobe malfunction and all the male characters saw!!!!! cue large geysers of blood rocketing from the male characters' noses (who the fuck gets nosebleeds just from being sexually aroused, and why the fuck does japan think it's so fucking funny)

beach episodes

when a character is about to confess to (or maybe even kiss) their love interest when they're suddenly interrupted by something stupid, and the love interest is too fucking dense to take the hint (common throughout all media, but anime is insufferable with this shit)

dense fucking characters in general, where being dense isn't a genuine character trait—their brain only seems to work when it is laser-guided by the plot

when love, friendship, or family saves the day

the generic male protagonist that is fucking impossible to not relate with on some level

harems

tsunderes in general, but especially poorly done tsunderes who are more tsun-tsun than dere-dere

character gets beat up or hit by a strong attack—cut to a shot of all the other characters gasping and shouting their name (bonus points if each character gets a split screen)

gasping in general

when a character gets really emotional about something, and the background gets replaced with flames or some other over-the-top imagery as they start shouting about whatever bullshit

temple veins, sweat drops, blue blushes with the vertical lines, exaggerated facial expressions and reaction shots

someone gets seriously injured for comic relief in one scene (like getting a black eye or a huge bump on their head), but they're absolutely fine in the next scene, because it was just played for laughs

a character is sleeping, causing them to blow a giant snot bubble with their nose—who has ever seen this happen in real life? i REALLY don't understand this one

shouting the name of your attacks before using them—it's cool in fighting games, it makes sense in pokémon, but it's not cool and doesn't make much sense pretty much anywhere else

when flashbacks are only used to pad out the episode

scrappy doos out the fucking wazoo

the classic "five man band" trope when played sickeningly straight

"AT THIS RATE,"

filler arcs, filler in general

we decided to set our anime in high school because we don't have enough of those


 
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i'm in the process of watching every single pokémon movie (there's exactly 20 of them) because i feel like it

might make a big-ass worst-to-best list when i'm done


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i'm in the process of watching every single pokémon movie (there's exactly 20 of them) because i feel like it

might make a big-ass worst-to-best list when i'm done

rise of darkrai is lit


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And why are anime voice actors so fucking bad at their job?


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Thank you for your service verb

Fighting the hard fight so that we don't have to


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And why are anime voice actors so fucking bad at their job?
All Japanese have the same cliche shit that cant be taken seriously

And English have a batch of 12 people who can do it properly and a bunch of amatuers because there is no actual training for anime dubs.