Long distance stuff is a bitch. It's not impossible. But it's a bitch. The thing I learned, is that if you're going to try your luck with folks, you need to make sure they have a similar line of lifestyle to yours.

For example. I'm a construction laborer, general hand for hire on odd jobs and carpentry work in the area. I don't make huge money, and I don't chase after it. I don't work a job that moves me all over the country.

I'd have trouble in a relationship with somebody like a doctor or somebody university bound because of my simplistic lifestyle.

And, with an on/off relationship as you say over the years, this will only be magnified when she's halfway across the world from you. A relationship with a friend is the best, for me at least. You spend all your time around someone  you call a friend and then eventually either of you realize that you could easily take it up a step because of how close you are.

The prospect of trying that with your friend might seem inviting, but I don't think it would hold together very well over long distance, and only going for it for a month would be pointless at that point if you were only trying for a month.

I'm not saying it won't work. But there doesn't seem to be enough glue holding you guys together.

How long is she going to be in china?

Quote from: Sandtrap on December 16, 2014, 07:40:21 AM

Long distance stuff is a bitch. It's not impossible. But it's a bitch. The thing I learned, is that if you're going to try your luck with folks, you need to make sure they have a similar line of lifestyle to yours.

For example. I'm a construction laborer, general hand for hire on odd jobs and carpentry work in the area. I don't make huge money, and I don't chase after it. I don't work a job that moves me all over the country.

I'd have trouble in a relationship with somebody like a doctor or somebody university bound because of my simplistic lifestyle.

And, with an on/off relationship as you say over the years, this will only be magnified when she's halfway across the world from you. A relationship with a friend is the best, for me at least. You spend all your time around someone  you call a friend and then eventually either of you realize that you could easily take it up a step because of how close you are.

The prospect of trying that with your friend might seem inviting, but I don't think it would hold together very well over long distance, and only going for it for a month would be pointless at that point if you were only trying for a month.

I'm not saying it won't work. But there doesn't seem to be enough glue holding you guys together.

We've been through a lot. She already left for china because government reasons but came back on an education thing which according to her was so she could spend her last few months here with me. But we came to the conclusion that we weren't the trouble for each other and it was really sombre.

But after that whole load dropped we've been spending so much more time together. And we've told everyone we've broke up. But we still act like nothing happened. Tension is building between us. It always has but after the last few months the point of it isn't as much pointless but more-so blurred.

And that's where all the trouble comes from.

Well then it should be obvious no? She's a good friend. Keep her a good friend. And see where it goes from there. You know, you don't have to "date" or be "with someone" to be with them. Those are just simple little labels.

So. Be a friend. Have your last month with her and have fun with it. Fuck it and just roll with it. Those nice labels of "being together" are like steps for people. Walls even. They're afraid. Not ready to be at that point yet.

So if she backed off, maybe she wasn't ready for that label yet. But at the same time, she came back. And picked things up like a breakup never happened.

So. Tell her that. You don't have to date. But just be friends, hang out and have fun. There's no rush. But keep her as a friend because if she came back then there's a lot of meaning behind that. She essentially came back twice actually.

So. Roll with it. Be her friend. Have fun. And in the future, when things are ready to move forward, they will. It's worth a try because if you don't, and you shut her out, that'll burn her bad. And if you don't enjoy your time with her now, it'll be something you'll regret later in life.

Long story short? Be her friend, and have fun. Fuck whatever labels there are. "Had a thing together and then broke up."

It means nothing amigo. It means nothing because she's still around.