Life as a whole is, putting it simply, fucking depressing

Pureey | Member
 
more |
XBL: Pureeey
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Pureey
IP: Logged

32 posts
I've been called "emotionless".
If only that were true.
Because I don't want to feel anymore.
that sounds tough, dude. what happened to cause that love triangle you mentioned?
Both her best friend and I met her at about the same time, and we both had feelings for her from the very beginning. (She really is amazing.) However, it was I who made the first move, and so she and I developed a loving relationship together.

For a specific and unnecessary reason, she confided in her best friend[my ex-best friend] rather than me, and so she developed a trusting and emotional closeness with him. As this closeness grew, so did their feelings for one another. Although I was unaware of the feelings she felt for him, I did notice that she wasn't nearly as passionate about our relationship as before.

I eventually discovered what was going on between them, but I was already too late. Her deep love for me had already faded at that point, especially now that she felt guilty for keeping such a secret from me. After having a series of long discussions with both her and her best friend, I decided to behave maturely and forgive the both of them. However, although our relationship continued on, I was then constantly paranoid of the possibility and likelihood that they were still flirting with one another behind my back; and I had formed a (reasonable) mistrust for my girlfriend, and a spite for my once best friend.

Due to her (still growing) feelings for him, her guilt for what she had allowed to happen, and my paranoia and mistrust for her, our relationship began to suffer more and more overtime. Although our relationship had nearly fallen apart entirely on multiple occasions afterward, my determination to keep her simply would not allow me to let that happen. However, just under two weeks ago, after asking my girlfriend a series of critical questions, and realizing a horribly selfish mistake I had made early in our relationship, I had decided that she would be better off without me. So... I then ended our relationship, because I had promised her and myself that I would only let her go if she were better off without me.

After crying my heart out all night long, and sporadically throughout the next day, I instead decided that I would learn from my mistakes and become the man she deserves. However, although I've learned from the mistakes I've made, she isn't emotionally ready for another relationship. She and I are now considered close friends to one another, but we're honestly more like lovers without the title (which is why I refer to her as my (not)girlfriend). The only thing keeping her and I apart is her still existing feelings for her friend, and the only thing keeping them apart is her persisting feelings for me.

So I've now found myself in a horrible love triangle, in which I must watch as the girl I love is put through severe emotional turmoil on a near-daily basis. It's heartbreaking.
Last Edit: October 09, 2014, 12:39:13 PM by Pureey