Jive Turkey gets over his ex: the thread

At the gym. Feeling horrible and sad. Wanna go home and write

ok

Approached an absolutely gorgeous girl tonight at this restaurant. Talked for a bit and got her number. Not sure if she's that into me (obviously not yet) but the courage I had to approach her helps my confidence a shit ton.

My gorgeous quirky main girl wants to hangout tonight later, but I'm not trying to stay up till 2 only to have her flake smh I'll be hella mad. If we do hangout though I'll be getting it forsure, first time being physical with a girl since my ex.

Was really sad about her at the gym but all these new girls are an amazing distraction/motivator. Reminds me of the abundance of cool beautiful women out there

ok

i like your threads because they give me effortless post count and its still not spam

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its still not spam

Yeah it is. Any other site with mods that actually give a fuck would've given you a warning for just saying "ok" a long time ago and then eventually a ban.

its not spam when it has more discussion value than the op

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

its still not spam

Yeah it is. Any other site with mods that actually give a fuck would've given you a warning for just saying "ok" a long time ago and then eventually a ban.

its not spam when it has more discussion value than the op

its spam

nope

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its still not spam

Yeah it is. Any other site with mods that actually give a fuck would've given you a warning for just saying "ok" a long time ago and then eventually a ban.

its not spam when it has more discussion value than the op

its spam

nope

it is tho

whatever you say my man

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

its still not spam

Yeah it is. Any other site with mods that actually give a fuck would've given you a warning for just saying "ok" a long time ago and then eventually a ban.

its not spam when it has more discussion value than the op

mad cuz super beta as fuck

The new girl from last night texted me this morning, pleasantly surprised.

I've been building up a good morning routine. In a way I'm going through the motions, but these steps are improving my life greatly so when I wake up from the haze I'll be in a way better position than I was before.

-Wake up
-Meditate 20 minutes
-Drink green tea and mess around on laptop for 10 min
-Go jogging in as little clothing as possible around my neighborhood. Usually for 30 minutes I also listen to podcasts that will improve my life instead of music, so I'm getting tan gains, cardio/fat loss gains/ and knowledge gains all in one.
-make breakfast
-shower

Feeing sad sometimes but good man. I hope she's doing well

I'm in an interesting place right now. I'm going through some dramatic changes and I like it. Huge consciousness shift. I've always been very fond of self improvement, meditation, the therapeutic effects of Buddhism and the like etc. But after this breakup(and actually a little before) I've been devouring material on it like never before. In a weird way, it's almost like throughout the day I'm getting small epiphanies and glimpses into entirely new ways of thinking. They don't last long but they're very strong. I wish I was smart enough to explain what I mean. I've also become extremely Present and can often catch myself drifting away in thought so I can snap back to the present moment quickly, way more often than before.

A friend of mine has noticed this change in me and has asked me to help him "stabilize his mind". I have no idea where to start though. IDK how to help but I'm going try. I  don't think he'll  understand a lot of my insights yet because he needs the prior material for it to click like it's starting to with me.

While I'm not actually fully over it and still get sad(I've had a lot of distractions)

I actually haven't gone back to read my previous posts yet. I'm so much better than I was 2 weeks ago, but I want the change in my mindset to be dramatic. I used all of my power to get over this as quick as I did and I guarantee that if I didn't exhaust my resources with videos/books/friends/driving for hours at 2 am to nowhere I would still be a wreck.

We outchea

Missing her a little more tonight. Found myself thinking about her fondly when I got a little annoyed at something one of these new girls did. Gonna be a melancholy night

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I FUCKED up but not too bad I'll be sweet

Was feeling mentally really good, so I decided to start taking this oral steroid that makes me extremely hard/vascular/strong. Well within a day I'm getting mad anxiety and overthinking about the breakup which happened last time. Dumped the rest down the toilet can't wait till this shit clears out in 2-3 days

Canceled on this one bitch today cause honestly I wasn't feeling like doing anything.

I notice with one particular girl (main gorgeous chick) I get a little more upset than I normally would if I think it's not going to work out. I think this is because I'm very afraid that if I fail with this girl, I'm going to be left alone to fall in the void of loneliness that I felt when I initially broke up with my ex.

This is not fair to any new girls I meet nor to myself.

BRUH so I ate really shitty today, and I think when I get off my purpose/don't improve myself I feel worse. So I need to stick to my shit diligently

Yeah it ain't a real good idea to look for someone else when you're still getting over an ex.

If you have feelings you want to explore with any of these girls I suggest you wait until you're ok mentally.

That doesn't mean stop fucking the throwaways.

http://sep7agon.net/the-flood/i-feel-sooooo-fucking-good-wtf/

Had my first real day of work today. It went good :-)

Feeling weird. Tomorrow(today technically) is her birthday. I'm not going to tell her happy bday even though I want to, just because it'll open up old wounds.

I got more intimate with the gorgeous main chick. On paper, she outclasses my ex in every way. She's prettier, has a job, works hard in school, same music taste as me, extremely honest and secure with herself. I think it's bad for me to keep trying with her though for two reasons:

Reason 1- I'm actually starting to like her more than I normally would like a girl. I almost GUARANTEE it's because I'm transferring the feelings of my ex onto her. That can't end good for me

Reason 2- I really shouldn't be diving into another relationship so quickly. I need to find myself etc.

She is really helping me move on faster than I ever would though. However I may have ruined it. When we got intimate, I got kinda weird about it because it shocked me when I opened my eyes realized she wasn't my ex(weird I know) and may have potentially killed her attraction to me. She's been texting me less etc, so I'm not sure if I can recover this. Still texting though. That makes me really upset when it really shouldn't even matter. Idk also literally everyday when I wake up I have a ton of anxiety. It's exhausting

My mind is playing insane tricks on me. There's a massive rewiring going on inside my brain.

First: Me and the gorgeous girl no longer talk, my fault. This I think triggered me to cut off all the other girls I was talking to, so i could be alone and truly build myself up from nothing.

Secondly: My meditation sessions are getting very good. I do 25 minutes in the AM and 25 min at night. Both sessions I can tune into my breath/the present moment fairly quickly. I can recognize the sensations and emotions in my body better than ever before it's actually scary, and the emotions are sometimes overwhelming. But I'm getting much better. I also can sort of shift my awareness anytime during the day to the extremely present moment, completely unthinking and in tune with my body, sounds, and visuals(this is very intense in nature. As a result I like going to parks by myself a lot now). The meditation also brings up memories I had COMPLETELY forgotten, things I'd have no way of remembering randomly resurface with zero connection to anything in my present situation.

Third: I think my brain processes this breakup as a legit death. I literally feel like she has died, and there was a funeral and everything. And that if I saw her in person again she'd be a stranger or some sort of unfamiliar apparition. I'm actually scared to see her in public or something now because it'd be such a shock to my brain, and I wouldn't know what to do or say. It's like I don't know her anymore, my mind is literally deleting her. I was reading articles about how the brain of a person after a hard breakup is identical to the brain of a cocaine addict going through withdrawals and the comparisons I researched about cocaine withdrawal were very similar. My dopamine/seratonin levels are all fucked up.

Another thing is my cortisol is SKY high as well as my adrenaline. I can tell this because every single morning I wake up with a pit of dread in my stomach, and massive amounts of anxiety. Never knew what was causing it until now. Guaranteed it's my cortisol(stress hormone). Besides that, I randomly get very sad and panicked when I think about her sometimes, almost like it BARELY just happened and I don't know what to do so I panic. Then I come to reality and get a little down.

However my nights I feel extremely good. Motivated and determined to get better.

9am-3pm: High stress anxiety fear panic feeling of loss

4pm-10pm: Sad, lonely, giving up lost feeling

10pm-4am: Extremely motivated, determined to be happy, loving and accepting of whatever happens happens, regular Jive.

Very strange mind games smh

Another thing I'm observing is that sometimes I'll randomly think back to memories of us, but not good memories. Things like her going into the shower and her phone being left on the dresser. The extreme urge and paranoia I would have to check her phone. My heart sinking when I would hear things from other people about her, the crazy amount of anxiety and overthinking I would get when I would drop her off at school. It'd literally ruin my entire day sometimes and I'd try to nap from 1pm-4pm just to make the feeling go away.

I think in all this missing her, I tend to forget that we really broke up for a reason. I forget how miserable I was at times, being with someone who lied so much, someone I did not trust. And the absolute torture I'd put myself through sometimes, only to find relief when I would see her again a few hours later. It was unhealthy for both of us. No matter how sad or depressed I get, if I think back to how horrible the anxious paranoid feelings were, I realize that this is a much better quality of life.

tfw you've never had an ex

tfw you've never had an ex

I understand you brother

tfw you've never had an ex

I understand you brother

Are you on pace to be a Wizard too?

tfw you've never had an ex

I've actually had 4 official ex girlfriends. This is my first love though, whole different level smh :/

I caught myself thinking about her A LOT these past few days. I'm just DYING to know what she's doing. How does she feel? Is she feeling lonely and sad? Or happier than ever? I can't explain this huge curiosity I have in me, I actually think she's in my head now more than ever.

Break up mind games.

However while the thoughts of her still make me sad sometimes, it's not completely terrible and I'm slowly getting better. Most people say it takes 3 months to feel like yourself again, I'm on week 3 so I'm hoping they're right.

Today I'm sad though smh. And having obsessive thoughts/curiosity. These KILL me.