http://sep7agon.net/anarchy/fuck-it-why-not/

Please just take my recommendation and look at this fantastic butt if you haven’t yet. But if that’s not enough, take a look at this thread above. It excellently sums up what’s so great about my ass, and I want to actually challenge Verbatim’s argument from his traps aren't gay delusion about themes in this post.

My ass is a single-orificed mystery/trap with plenty of erotic elements. It takes place in chairs and sofas, in two cheekss that ultimately connect to each other along a crack. It has a huge round shape of slappable cheeks, some appearing in only one angle, some appearing in two, and one set hole, extremely important but essentially disgusting if you think about it too much, which appears when you spread it. Despite how gay this may sound, it never gets saggy and you’re never at a lull where you’re asking “wait, who is this guy again”?

The firmness makes the ass, in my opinion, but make no mistake - the jiggliness of the ass is one of the most well-crafted twerks where you’re often confused, but always wanting more. The only time you might be scratching your head is at the end of the first session, as, fair warning, it’s more of a “oh fuck was thatr gay?” situation that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense on first fuck except to the most mental-gymnasticky of coomer. I always tell people that no, you can’t suck my dick that would be gay bro, as that would homosexually set the tone and then everything else would be gay, but the first aspect of a concise, heteroromantic relationship begins on the second date.

The show is almost, almost like a “Tom Holland meets a Marilyn Monroe meets a Christina Hendrix ass”, in a way. That’s just a simple comparison, though, and the ass itself is unique and unlike anything you’ve probably seen.

This ass makes me disagree with Verbatim’s idea that the dick makes it better. He said that without the dick, without the male genitals flopping wtih the rhythm, an ass is just bred. That may be the case with most asses, yes. That may be the case when an ass is treated as auxillary to a larger image or provide some larger reason for you to fuck it - for Verbatim, he likes to walk away from an ass with some takeaway he can fap to his later, to feel like his time wasn’t wasted.

I can understand that, but really, do you need a pussy or dick to have something to fap to your when you're done? What about a “I relate to this person and the things they went through their ass makes me feel better about things I’ve gone through in my own life”? What about “their ass and how it jiggled, and how they resolved the orgasm I gave them has given me new insight on what I'm looking for in a relationship”? I’m mainly speaking to Verbatim in this paragraph, because for most people, merely the promise of watching an incredible, high-quality ass bounce on our cock is its own reward. What I’m saying is that you don’t need a dick, or a vagina, to something to think about while you fap later. The ass itself can be what gets you off.

Verbatim compared traps to a man - the dick being the main attraction, and the ass being the thing you use to jack your meat while you stare at the penis - the the literal force on your penis - but not the reason you're fucking the person. My ass, as I said, is unlike any ass I’ve ever seen, and I think no exception can be made. My ass is like an entree of tastiest potato chips you’ve ever tasted. Not some Lays bullshit - the genuine article, made by some renowned Southern cook and served to you in a fancy restaurant. Is it a sandwich, is it good for you? Not really. It's still still deep fried and mostly fat. It has no health food content (i.e. dick, pussy, gigantic tiddies), but goddamn is it delicious. Goddamn you will mount me time after time, and it'll be gone as fast as you can coom in it. And while it didn’t do anything for you on a health food level, goddamn you’ll remember that dining experience, eating that ass, for a long, LONG time.

My ass takes its cheeks and hole very seriously, and everything is very consistent. But it also doesn’t pander to you pretending to be something it’s not. It’s definitely not a fat pair of tits or something like vagina. If I had to reach and guess the weight of my ass, it would be “fat as FUCK”. The ass goes out of its way to reward the people who buy me dinner, makes the ones who won't even share their bud reconsider their lives, and suffocate the outright monsters. There’s a sense of romance in each caress and slap, working together to defeat this horny that looms over everything. And in the end of my jeans, there’s yes, a sense of romantic love that these same-sex individuals have developed toward each other.

You will love the ass, that’s for sure. You’re connected with it and want to see it from a dozen different angles almost immediately. Even the “dick” is endearing and charming (except that literally is NOT the point pls no touchy). Anyway, this isn’t really an ass that even has masculine features, and men's pants are almost more like saggy trousers than male features. It’s not a pretentious ass, even if it might seem that way initially. Just give it a chance and you’ll enjoy it - I promise, on the honor of Das B00t. 

the biggest problem with asses is that, no matter what, i simply cannot dissociate them from the toilet

10/10 for the idea, 5/10 for execution.

I hope my Baccano thread becomes a meme guys!!! I hope it gets parodied! I’m not just saying this to ensure it stops getting parodied either, not just saying this because my Baccano thread deserves legitimate discussion about the show and doesn’t deserve to be made fun of nope! Please make my thread a meme haha!

it's a thread calling verbatim gay what could better

yeah lol Sol is pathetic right

You walk with the foot though, aka you literally TRAVERSE THIS WORLD with it. You step on top of and over things with it. But no that’s the weird thing compared to the purposes of the ass and dick.

verbatim if you like Sol more than me I will kill a small insect

I clicked the spoiler and what was seen cannot be unseen. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go get into my car and drive myself into the nearest canal.

Good, now show penis.

please kill yourself already

Quote from: Mmmmm Napalm on June 24, 2020, 11:47:06 AM

Quote from: Verbatim on June 19, 2020, 11:57:00 PM

the biggest problem with asses is that, no matter what, i simply cannot dissociate them from the toilet

what (most) people are attracted to are the buttocks, not the rectum though. The only thing the buttocks have to do with shitting is sitting down.

still, that doesn't really break the association that my brain indelibly fastens between the two concepts

they're close enough to each other to where what you just said registers as splitting hairs to me, even if it logically isn't

So if we use your brain's logic, does that therefore make all ass men scat men?

Quote from: E on June 24, 2020, 10:17:32 PM

So if we use your brain's logic, does that therefore make all ass men scat men?

borderline

So what're your thoughts on anal

Quote from: E on June 24, 2020, 10:17:32 PM

So if we use your brain's logic, does that therefore make all ass men scat men?

borderline

if your ass gives someone shit dick, you don't clean yourself right

your take here is incredibly wrong

Quote from: E on June 24, 2020, 10:17:32 PM

So if we use your brain's logic, does that therefore make all ass men scat men?

borderline

Nice