Trying so hard not to laugh right now

Anna:
The window is open, so's that door
I didn't know they did that anymore
Who knew we owned eight thousand salad plates?

For years I've roamed these empty halls
Why have a ballroom with no balls?
Finally they're opening up the gates

There'll be actual real live people
It'll be totally strange
But wow, am I so ready for this change

'Cause for the first time in forever
There'll be music, there'll be light
For the first time in forever
I'll be dancing through the night

Don't know if I'm elated or gassy
But I'm somewhere in that zone
Cause for the first time in forever
I won't be alone

I can't wait to meet everyone! (gasp)
What if I meet... the one?

Tonight imagine me gown and all
Fetchingly draped against the wall
The picture of sophisticated grace
Ooh! I suddenly see him standing there
A beautiful stranger, tall and fair
I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face

But then we laugh and talk all evening,
Which is totally bizarre
Nothing like the life I've had so far

For the first time in forever
There'll be magic, there'll be fun
For the first time in forever
I could be noticed by someone

And I know it is totally crazy
To dream I'd find romance
But for the first time in forever
At least I've got a chance

Elsa:
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, put on a show
Make one wrong move and everyone will know

Elsa:
But it's only for today
Anna:
It's only for today

Elsa:
It's agony to wait
Anna:
It's agony to wait

Elsa:
Tell the guards to open up the gates
Anna:
The gates

Anna
For the first time in forever
Elsa:
Don't let them in, don't let them see

Anna:
I'm getting what I'm dreaming of
Elsa:
Be the good girl you always have to be

Anna:
A chance to change my lonely world
Elsa:
Conceal

Anna:
A chance to find true love
Elsa:
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know

Anna:
I know it all ends tomorrow,
So it has to be today
'Cause for the first time in forever
For the first time in forever
Nothing's in my way!

You just showed up on my doorstep during a storm cold and wet with no place to go

*opens door*

Hell yea

>releases a bunch of instrumentals
>tracks spell out JENNY DEATH WHEN
>doesn't tell us when

Forever

I honestly don't know else to tell but I just have to put these words somewhere
I honestly don't know what to think...
Let me start from the beginning

So I'm just chilling like I normally do
It's Winter Break so I just sit around and read, play video games, and masturbate
There's this other forum I like to frequent called JC
It's a site for music and shit
I like to go on it to explore new bands and interesting songs
The people there are -blam!-ing crazy
They are absolutely out of their minds

So I meet this guy
Bartholomew
I just called him Bart
I thought it was a weird username but the site was -blam!-ed up so I didn't really find anything strange about it
Now the strange thing is that he was Albanian or some shit and he didn't speak English at all
He used this translation software that put out retarded sentences like "He put two birds bush in" and "Dishwasher a clean"
It was hilarious as shit
He would post about his mom would take him to go watch animated movies even when he was 26
Everyone hated Bart
But you know me
I like to go for the weird ones
Now as I said before, this site was vicious
They were terrible

We were friends so Bart would PM me about his problems
He had depression and minor mental retardation
The forums were not helping him at all so he was leaving
So he gave me his gamertag
It was something like BartholomewTheGreat
Bart was -blam!-ing quirky and random as hell
Just like I like it

Bart must have been -blam!-ing rich or something because he had the exact same translation software for his PS4
Only this one was a speech translator and it had this weird Stephen Hawkings robot voice
It was funny as -blam!-
Imagine a robot voice calmly saying "Go shotgun the sniper dude"
I kept teaching him these English sayings like "What's up man" and "Yo homie" just to hear him say it in the translator
Funny shit man

I was on Winter Break for two weeks but Bart told me that they didn't have Winter Break in his schools
I asked him how he gets to play all day and he told me that there were massive riots in Albania because of the huge gap between the poor and the rich
It turns out that he was actually rich and that his dad was some politician
He had to stay home for safety
Hell it got so bad that his parents had to hire guards
I was concerned but he said "Chill nig, it's all good"
Imagine that in a robot translator voice

The situation started getting really really bad
The looting started and this shit wasn't even making the news because of the whole Sony North Korea thing
I had to follow along on some local Albanian station online
The looting had started and Bart would randomly cut out during our gaming sessions
I asked him why he kept doing that and he told me that they would have to go hide in a shelter because massive riots would break out in his neighborhood
This guy's life was breaking down and I was helpless to stop it
He told me not to worry
Bart's exact words were "Worry not my nig, I am invincible" robot translator and all

Then it happened
I was watching the news
The poor had just finished a massive assault on the rich neighborhood
Almost all the houses were ransacked
The women -blam!-, the men hanged, and the children abducted, presumably to sell into slavery

I was a wreck for three days
I worried as Bart hasn't signed onto PSN since the assault began
Then a package arrived at my door
It had foreign markings on it and I could tell it was from Bart
I opened it up and found a Frozen poster [he knew how much I loved Frozen]
On the bottom, it was signed by Bart
Well it was typed out because he had to use the translator but it said
"Thank IngloriousWho98 for being friend in hard time. I sure you hear news by now. Not worry. I and family are in hiding but it hard. Don't know when get back in touch. Maybe never. Here is sign of friendship. Thank you so much."
Next to the writing, there were doodles of Pokemon and shit

My eyes started tearing up
My mom saw me
She asked "Is that from your foreign friend? Is he okay?"
I say yeah but suddenly she had a concerned look on her face and asked me
"Did you give them our address?"
I suddenly realized that I haven't
My mom got worried that the rioters would come looking for us so she sent me to my aunt's house just to be safe

She called a cab to pick me up
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

Yessssss

Come on

Fuck around in here

Well, it's here
No more having to deal with my faggotness anymore

Before you proceed any further I will warn you that I'm going to dive a bit into the selfish self pity round for a bit
Why? Because I'm selfish and it makes me feel good I guess

I once thought I could be something in life but recent events transpired that made me look at life and myself very differently
I tell myself that they're just teenage hormones which is the truth but they still manage to crush me in the end anyways
Between the divorce, move, and my own development as a person, I do not have high hopes for the future
The things that have happened has made my self loathing and bleak outlook for life unbearable
Things are changing

I'm arrogant, selfish, and probably mentally ill
It's horrible because I did it to myself
No one to blame but me
If there is no one to blame, I suppose I shouldn't be whining on the internet but I suppose it makes me feel better pretending that someone is reading this and caring
In recent times, I've tried to become less materialistic and less artificial but I just can't win against myself
The worst thing is that I can see these things about myself
I wish I was blind to my own evils but I can't

But now that life has forced me to look beyond myself, I find myself crying more at night
I've been so selfish only complaining about myself and not seeing the pain of others
I tell myself there are people in worse places than me and that helps me get through the day but that is no longer helping
My poor mom is suffering because of me and I cry because I won't stop it

So I guess that's why I'm so immature and love animated movies and things I really shouldn't be loving
They provide me with my escape
The world that Frozen and every other fantasy animated children's movies occupy are so beautiful and innocent that I want to live in that
I want to escape this world and spend the rest of my life somewhere like that
I envy children and the things their brains allow them to believe
That's why I try to resemble them as much as possible
So I'm sorry for spreading my fantasies all over you guys but like I said, I am selfish and want to feel good

Why do I take the internet so seriously?
Because it's not real life
I like the concept of not having responsibilities and having that false love so many have
I like it because you don't know me in real life so I can be whatever I want
I can have fun that I'm not allowed in real life
Here, I'm allowed anything all of the time
But I suppose all good things must end

Now many of you know me from b.net and I followed you here to find comfort
I take the things you say very seriously because I'm too cowardly to be serious in real life
The things said on the internet hurt me even when I tell myself it's harmless
These forums are one of the few joys I have left in my life which is why I've tried so hard to make it work
I hate myself for finding joy in things I find on the internet

I suppose you have grown tired of hearing this or I suppose I should thank you for those who made it this far
I know I'm not a good writer
I'm trying

So to the point, this relationship isn't working
I'm not feeling anything positive from this
Even worse, you guys aren't benefiting from this
I'm sorry for making you put up with my bullshit

So I guess it's best for all of us if I leave

So please
Call me a faggot, bitch, retard, overly sensitive, or whatever you need to say to help you rid yourself of me

I'm sorry

...cold never bothered me anyways

Extend your hand to help, not to crush

Well?

I know what I'm voting for

to be upset

Jeez What A Fucking Cutie Pie