The thing about depression is that it isn't sadness; the opposite is not a state of happiness. It is resignation, and the opposite is vitality. Depression takes the life out of life, and gives the world a haze through which you think you see clearly. Two words are simply needed when referring to depression, whether regarding yourself or somebody close to you: get help.

Story Section - 1
Alright, so this is the first in a series of threads to raise awareness of depression, it's symptoms, it's treatments and hopefully busting the crap out of the pervasive myths or misunderstandings that hang around this topic because few people want to start the discussion.

The picture at the top of the thread stood out to me as uncannily accurate. People who are depressed very rarely show that they are, let alone tell the people around them about it. They put on the smile or just a blank face to hide what's inside their head. I know I do, I'm sure other people do as well.

All of these stories will be posted anonymously, the only person who knows the identity of those telling the stories will be me. I'm not going to be divulging the names for obvious reasons. Some weren't too bothered about anonymity for their story but I'll keep it blank by default and they can let people know if they wish.

Story #1

Spoiler

I do have a story to share with you concerning depression and cyber bullying.

A while back, but not that far back, I was an avid World of Warcraft addict. Worked my job for eight hours, came home and raided for another eight every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. All the other days I spent grinding for gold of leveling my alts for similar time periods. In reflection, it wasn't a good point in my life.

Then one day not sure why or when it started, I don't even remember what they said anymore, I started being harassed by the members of a random guild.

When I attempted to sell items in Trade Chat they would spam messages to immediately bump my message out of view so that I could not sell anything. They followed my guild raids into the zone and constantly posted hurtful messages about me. They sent me PMs with more messages of the same content.

I of course blocked them so they couldn't send me PMs and I couldn't see their messages but their spam still disrupted my sales and got to the point where random Pick up Groups started rejecting me for dungeons even though I more than met gear and skill requirements because of the crap they heard from this guild.

I was furious. I PM'd GMs multiple times about the issue and each time they either couldn't or wouldn't do anything to stop them. Being young I didn't want to or know to escalate it further and to not stop until I got a satisfactory ending so I just continued on dealing with it. I couldn't just log out either. I was a raiding member of a guild clearing newish content. I couldn't just pop offline whenever the assholes started posting. My guild needed me. And being a social outcast in real life, my guild mates were the best friendships I had. I even bought tickets to St. Louis to have a get together with them.

It got so bad and I was feeling like such crap that I admitted to the GM responding to my latest report about these griefers that I felt like giving it all up and ending it all and he had to talk me down or he was going to call the cops and give them my address so they would make sure I didn't kill myself.

I'm not sure what happened to the players in question after that. I don't think Blizzard ever did anything but eventually my computer couldn't keep up with new content and I got side lined in raids and I just stopped playing and that killed the problem.

To this day, anyone putting down a person feeling suicidal or depressed gets my blood boiling because they are insulting me. They are calling me a pussy, they are calling me weak willed and I'll be -blam!-ed if I'm going to take that shit lying down anymore, I'll be -blam!-ed if I let the same shit that happens to me happens to someone else, and I'll be -blam!-ed if I let some -blam!-ty Ann peice of shit dump on a person already feeling like shit.

Story #2

Spoiler

So I'm going to give you my story on an alt. You prooobably know who I am and I wont bother getting into my persona to mask it. I was just too embarrassed to tell you on my main.

It's for you thread should you share it anon. A treatment or idea of sorts.

I suffered from depression for over four years. Got into the cutting scene and was raised in an emotionally, mentally and psychically abusive family. Which is, I believe, the cause of all of my mental crutches. The option to see a therapist wasn't there. It simply didn't and doesn't exist for some people. "Getting help" isn't easy, especially with the social pressure that hovers around asking for it.

I turned 18 and was kicked out of my house while attending college which lead me to turn to games, poor eating/sleeping habits, and denial. Though talking to a selected few did help, it was little more than putting a band-aid over an open wound. A temporary fix to a large problem. As the years went on the depression seemed to drag. Some days I would be okay, other days it was too much effort to breath. I only wished to stay in bed all day. Later a family member got me a cat.

This helped a lot. It kept my mind busy and made me feel needed. I felt more motivated to go to my job everyday so I would have money to spoil him. I would go outside more often, walking him on his leash and allowing everyone to admire him. He understood certain words when I used him. Knew his name, knew when he had misbehaved. Having such a smart pet made me proud. Gave me a sense of accomplishment.
I loved him just as I did my family and friends. But only a year of having him, he became terminally ill. I made the most crippling choice in my life and had to put him down to end his pain. My depression peaked at this point. My mind hardly recalls those days even now.

What I do remember is living in a fog. My body on autopilot. When I wasn't working I was sleeping. Didn't eat. Hardly drank water. Closed up to anyone who tried to talk to me. Thoughts of suicide strangled me. My room was a constant mess. Never cared about my attire or appearance very much then. It was too much trouble and simply wasn't worth it. Each day that passed felt more and more of a chore. Existing was a chore.

It finally broke me one day at my job. Working the night shift and I sat in the back and cried as a child would. My hands were shaking. It was it. It was the day I was done.

Completely done with everything. Despite that something in me still wanted to live. I flipped through my contacts searching desperately for someone to call. To talk to me and listen. I wanted help now. Being alone was too difficult. Holding it in; hiding from the world. Putting on a smile when I was around people to pretend everything was fine. Goofing off so no one would even have an idea that I wasn't okay.

There was no single person I had the courage to pour out to so I bit my cheek and wrote out a confession on my facebook. I told everyone. Absolutely terrified that I would be scolded, patronized or belittled for it. It was the opposite though.

My friends gave me so much support. Family members were giving suggestions. Phone calls. Texts. I finished closing the store, went home to my flatmate asking what she could do to help. I cried in relief that night. Even as I type that sensation of it is causing me to tear up in happiness.

It was time to change. I cut out soda and junk food entirely. Instead of going home and jumping in bed or on the xbox I took a walk. Explored the rural expanse around me. Sat and stared out at the lake to relax on clear nights. I took the effort to talk to friends about things that stressed me out. Soon a work out routine fell into place.

Every two days a week I set aside time to clean the house. Even making sure to keep every thing as tidy as I could. Once I forced myself into being healthy physically my mind slid into place. The depression and suicidal thoughts ebbed away.
Happiness became genuine. It was as if a massive weight on my mind, chest and shoulders had melted away slowly. It was crazy. Just by changing my diet, talking to people, and organizing myself the depression was going away. To this day I find it bizarre and wonderful all at the same time. It was one of the most difficult paths however.

To be in a state of not wanting to do anything, because it simply didn't matter
To doing everything a functioning person would do. Choosing to do it. And getting better due to that. Convincing myself was hard however. It wasn't as simple as snapping my fingers and thinking "today I will get better". It was a road of success and failure. Some days you won the battle, other days the battle drowned you.

But you have to keep grabbing for that light at the end of the tunnel. It's there. You probably can't see it but once you do you'll never let it go. While it will fade some nights and the depression will nibble at your mind, you will feel so much lighter. So much more wonderful in the process. That's all I've got to say. Really rather a messy and all over story but *shrugs*

Story #3

Spoiler

When i was younger, I went through some Very intense situations. I had always wanted to be one of the baddest dudes i worked with. I was a private contractor. And i Was a badass.
I was put in with this company of men because my father was a higher up. But in his eyes, and everyones, i was the youngster who had to prove himself. And so i always volunteered for the most dangerous/ difficult situations. Put myself at the front of the violence and chaos.
This went on for years. Me trying to prove myself to my elders and everyone i worked with i was capable of shouldering the burden. That i could function in such a chaotic environment. This was not the place for the faint of heart. I saw more violence and death than most can fathom.
Before i knew it. I was getting older. I was no longer that guy kicking the door in, i was the one telling people where to go and what to do.
Every time i came home. To the family events. Hanging out with friends. I never belonged. I was "tainted". I felt i did NOT belong here with all this "happiness" I was supposed to be in the shit. Where i belonged. My father once told me that the difference between me and him was that while i was " ballsy enough to kick a door in and kill someone. He was smarter because he would just cut a check"
I once tried to talk to my mother. Her response was "If you cant handle it dont do it"
She was right, but i HAD to prove myself. It was who i was. And prove myself i did.
Over time i became depressed. When i was young, i thought for sure, i would be dead by them time i hit 21. Then it became id be dead by the time i was 25. I didnt belong in safety. The niceties of life were not for the likes of me. I belonged in the mud. The jungles. The chaos was where i thrived. That was where I, felt comfortable. I could not fit in at home. Noone could understand me.
Thats what i always told myself. Noone could understand my path through life. The things I had done, I always tried to justify it. "People just live in their bubble world" while i lived in the "real" one.
I didnt want to be alive. I was sick of being called a mercenary. Even my military friends couldnt reach me. I wanted to just enlist, go special forces, and die for my country. Because then my family would be able to be proud of me.
I had a close friend commit suicide. Another died . And another. I was at the breaking point. I couldnt do this anymore.
I took a year off from work. From life. I went to my families beach house. All i did was fish and row around. Relaxing. Completely unplugged. It took me that entire year to slow down my inner rage. To quiet the anger that was so defining of me. I had done things that most wont ever know or understand. But i came to peace with my journey through life. I got back into the business, with a condition that i no longer be involved in operations, and that i move into office side of things. While it is still a struggle sometimes. I no longer scream in my sleep. I actually SLEEP. more than 3-4 hours at a time as was my habit before this hiyatis. And Sleep, Is So AMAZING.
And while many can never take that much time off work, i was fortunate to have made so much money leading up to my collapse i was able to do so.
I got back into video games. Which were always a Disconnect for me. It allowed me to live in another world. Not mine. And i have to say, I love , getting my Nerd on.
Im now soon to be engaged. Living life, Enjoying. Life. Because Life i realized, Is Amazing. Life is Always worth living. No matter how difficult it is in the moment, or has been. The future, is always there. On the Horizon for us to seize. So get out there, Live life. Because its the only one we get.

Using Video Games to beat Depression and Anxiety
Depression Stories of the Flood
Hyperbole and a Half - Depression

The Scottish first minister has said "No" voters in last week's independence referendum were "tricked" by a late vow of more devolved powers.

A motion to be laid before the Houses of Parliament this week will set out a timetable which the UK parties say will deliver further devolution.

But Alex Salmond said the prime minister and Labour leader were already at "loggerheads" over the pledge.

Voters in Scotland rejected independence by 55% to 45%.

It comes as about 1,000 people, including politicians from across the divide, prepare to attend a service of reconciliation at St Giles Cathedral in Edinburgh, which will be led by the moderator of the Church of Scotland.

Prime Minister David Cameron, Labour leader Ed Miliband and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg all vowed before the referendum that Scotland would be given additional powers if it rejected independence.

Under the plans, the legislation would be delivered by whichever government comes into office at next year's General Election.

A doctor who told a patient who was threatening to kill herself to "go and jolly well do it now" has been suspended for three months.

The actions of Dr Arun Singhal, a GP in Huyton, Liverpool, amounted to serious misconduct, the Medical Practitioners Tribunal Service (MPTS) found.

He also told the woman she could look up how to kill herself on the internet.

Dr Singhal was unaware that she had recorded the conversation on her mobile phone. He did not attend the tribunal.

The MPTS hearing in Manchester heard that in May 2011 the woman, referred to as Patient A, told Dr Singhal she felt like killing herself and her anti-depressant medication was not working.

He told her words to the effect that she should go home and kill herself, the hearing heard.
'Totally unacceptable'

In December 2011 she asked Dr Singhal for a sick note because she was frightened to give evidence as a witness in a rape trial, but he refused unless she paid for it.

When she told him she was contemplating suicide, the hearing heard that he told her: "You can go and jolly well do it now."

Dr Singhal then said: 'If you don't know how to do it, it's on the internet how to do it."

MPTS panel chair Eileen Carr said while Dr Singhal's medical treatment of Patient A had not been called into question his comments to a patient with a history of mental health concerns were "totally unacceptable and inappropriate".

She said: "The panel finds his conduct fell well below the standards expected of a medical practitioner and is satisfied that his behaviour amounts to serious misconduct."

The panel was disappointed it had not heard from Dr Singhal during its proceedings, with no evidence of an apology, insight or remediation.