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Messages - Solonoid
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6691
« on: February 22, 2016, 10:11:02 PM »
How do I cut my bangs so it doesn't look like a botched lobotomy?
You have to wear your hair to both sides instead of one and layer it off in three directions: up, and to each side.
That way your hair looks like it holds your face instead of looking like your wearing three different wigs at once for some strange reason.
This is a problem God dealt with a lot during the universe's teen years : /
But God, my hair doesn't go in the opposite direction, nor do i have defined layers. Thy struggle is real.
God says bangs are probably not for you then.
6692
« on: February 22, 2016, 10:08:25 PM »
It tasted terrible. Like, super super bad. The gag reflex made it even worse, and I had to pretty much force myself to drink it. I threw up quite a few times, too.
But at the end of the day, I got drunk. Not a clean drunk, of course, but still pretty wasted. For me, that was definitely worth it.
Why the fuck didnt you just buy normal alcohol
I'm underage
Speaking of which. THE COPS POURED OUT MY BIRTHDAY VODKA I was like, dude, my mom got me that.
6693
« on: February 22, 2016, 10:06:38 PM »
How do I cut my bangs so it doesn't look like a botched lobotomy?
You have to wear your hair to both sides instead of one and layer it off in three directions: up, and to each side. That way your hair looks like it holds your face instead of looking like your wearing three different wigs at once for some strange reason. This is a problem God dealt with a lot during the universe's teen years : /
6694
« on: February 22, 2016, 10:02:45 PM »
why did psy because a fucking nigger and lock a thread dedicated to fucking daddys cummies
Psy was upset because his crippled body is unworthy of daddy's cummies. However, no matter how broken you may be, if your heart is devout, you may receive God's cummies.
6695
« on: February 22, 2016, 10:00:48 PM »
why is psy hitler?
Psy is not Hitler. He's Joseph Goebbels.
6696
« on: February 22, 2016, 09:55:04 PM »
I found God.
He was under the bed wasn't he
In the closet actually.
6697
« on: February 22, 2016, 09:54:11 PM »
why does france exist?
Satan. The messiah conquered France during his time on earth, but Satan reclaimed it after our sins were forgiven. This is yet another testament to the omnipresent evils in our life, and that the will to resist them, stems from faith.
6698
« on: February 22, 2016, 09:51:30 PM »
I found God.
6699
« on: February 22, 2016, 09:48:49 PM »
6700
« on: February 22, 2016, 09:47:50 PM »
Could he heat up a burrito so hot, that not even he could eat it?
God has eaten every burrito that has been, is, and will be. Every time you eat one, it is only an echo of Him eating one. Largely, whether or not God can eat the burrito, depends on whether or not your faith is strong enough for you to eat the burrito.
6701
« on: February 22, 2016, 09:45:24 PM »
Why didn't you help Hitler? He was doing your work.
God says that Adolf Hitler was the true messiah, not this 'Jesus' people talk about. He died before his work was accomplished as a testament to Satan's inextinguishable presence in our lives. His death alleviates of the burden of sin, but reminds us of evil's presence.
6702
« on: February 22, 2016, 09:41:45 PM »
Why am I losing my hair?
Stress. God says it is your path to move to Jamaica and become a see farming trap.
6703
« on: February 22, 2016, 09:34:56 PM »
Earlier today I found God, and now, through earnest prayer and devout worship, I have formed a direct link to His infinite wisdom.
Ask any question you like, and I will send it to heaven as a prayer so holy, it will fall directly upon God's ears, and His answer will be swift, and it will be good.
6704
« on: February 22, 2016, 09:30:09 PM »
What the fuck is that
6705
« on: February 22, 2016, 09:28:47 PM »
can you get drunk off of cooking sherry? Or is it a rubbing alcohol situation where it will straight-up kill you?
Was it worth it?
6706
« on: February 22, 2016, 08:45:10 PM »
Having a dog is great...but it can be a chore. Also it really sucks when you own a pet for a long time and they die.
I'll never forget when my pet died.\
6707
« on: February 22, 2016, 08:23:21 PM »
PMs exist
As a frequenter of /wg/ it would be a sin.
6708
« on: February 22, 2016, 08:00:30 PM »
Low sex drive in males can end a relationship.
If you get sick of your girl wanting sex all the time, you will probably end up putting distance between the two of you.
Inversely, if she feels her needs are not being addressed, she may leave you.
It seems petty, but because of the emotional power of a sexual relationship any change in routine could translate as a decreased attraction or apathetic neglect.
I'm fancy myself above sexual desire, though. And my wife will likely be, too.
It's chemistry m8 there's no getting around libido, everyone has it
6709
« on: February 22, 2016, 07:59:13 PM »
I made these for you.  
6710
« on: February 22, 2016, 07:33:38 PM »
wow I totally read all of that and think you're a genuinely interesting person and completely heterosexual of course.
6711
« on: February 22, 2016, 07:27:27 PM »
a lower sex drive is a good thing, holmes.
Low sex drive in males can end a relationship. If you get sick of your girl wanting sex all the time, you will probably end up putting distance between the two of you. Inversely, if she feels her needs are not being addressed, she may leave you. It seems petty, but because of the emotional power of a sexual relationship any change in routine could translate as a decreased attraction or apathetic neglect.
6712
« on: February 22, 2016, 04:40:44 PM »
ITT
Ender goes crazy with likes
6713
« on: February 22, 2016, 04:21:09 PM »
Looks like you're at the awkward length stage
How old are you?
I guess so, yeah
and I'm 19
k, well, the problem with long hair around that age is that it's gonna be greasy af. That pretty much means you're gonna need to wash it all the time, and even then it still won't look very good until you're older. Tbh there's not that many styles you can go with straight up long hair. What you're doing to it now is way better suited to short-medium hair
oh well
I hate bangs so I guess I don't have a choice
Bangs are literally the cutest thing ever.
If you hate bangs you hate being adorable.
gtfo deschanel shill
Spoiler I really don't like bangs
on me or on anyone else
nigga, god once tried to be dorbs af and zooey had to show him how
6714
« on: February 22, 2016, 04:16:48 PM »
LOST AND INSECURE
YOU FOUND ME
YOU FOUND ME
LYING ON THE FLOOR
WHERE WERE YOU? WHERE WERE YOU?
6715
« on: February 22, 2016, 04:14:44 PM »
Looks like you're at the awkward length stage
How old are you?
I guess so, yeah
and I'm 19
k, well, the problem with long hair around that age is that it's gonna be greasy af. That pretty much means you're gonna need to wash it all the time, and even then it still won't look very good until you're older. Tbh there's not that many styles you can go with straight up long hair. What you're doing to it now is way better suited to short-medium hair
oh well
I hate bangs so I guess I don't have a choice
Bangs are literally the cutest thing ever. If you hate bangs you hate being adorable.
6716
« on: February 22, 2016, 04:02:43 PM »
I'm impossibly cool.
6717
« on: February 22, 2016, 03:54:07 PM »
Dawg how can you watch a movie 6 times in such a short span of time
Some guy on reddit has seen it 11 times...other people on Star Wars sites I frequent 20-30 times.
Have you ever considered that they have no lives?
You should be spending your time doing something more wholesome like reading the bible.
There's better works of fiction out there that don't make me feel horrible for being human.
Why read fiction or subject yourself to illusion when you could immerse yourself in objective fact to enhance your spirituality?
6718
« on: February 22, 2016, 03:52:27 PM »
Which one?
The only one.
Our Lord and Father, the God of Abraham and Lord of David.
You're forgetting the thousands of others.
Oh, like the fairy godmother from Cinderella? There is only one god, all else is myth and make believe.
6719
« on: February 22, 2016, 03:49:51 PM »
So Judaism, Christianity, or Islam?
Christianity.
6720
« on: February 22, 2016, 03:48:37 PM »
I mean...
I don't care.
Degenerate.
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