One vote doesn't affect the election as a whole, so I decided not to.

>17 or so years old
>waiter at some lame restaurant
>as normal, I went to the line at the front to seat the next people
>"how many is it?"
>in the most feminine guy voice ever, "heeeeeey sweetie, it'll be just the two"
>he sticks his two fingers up flashing it around in a reallygirly way, and then uses the hand to grab hold of this guy's ass, who seemed to be dressed in really skinny, faded jeans with clean holes and a tight pink shirt that revealed his belly button
>at first I think it's a prank they were doing, yeah know pretending to be girls or whatever, so I laugh
>"just the two of you guys, no one else?"
>"just the two"
>strong feminine accent on the "two" that time, to make up for the lack of the flashy hand movements, most likely because he was still holding onto the other guy's ass
>"a..alright... just this way"
>"oh and by any chance do you serve creme brulee?
>stop walking in a dead halt
>"you... what?"
>don't even turn around to talk to them
>"creme bruleeeeee," said in an extremely feminine way
>think to myself: oh god, they're not pretending to be girls are they? they must be....
>turn around to talk to them
>"I'll see what we have, just follow me to your table, oh and would you like to try out our special seating services at no extra charge?"
>still speaking in femme voice. "oh my gosh that would be so awesome!"
>walk them into the old smoking room that's almost always vacant and closed off so kids can't see
>"right through here"
>the room is dark and empty
>"ummm... okay?"
>I notice the confusion in their voices, I've got to hurry up
>"the light switch is on the other side of the room, just follow me through"
>once I see they've stepped at least a few feet in, I quickly jolt back to the door and slam it shut
>try to control my breathing so the other customers can't hear
>hear the faint noise of them pounding and yelling to let them out
>I then check around the restaurant to see if anyone was looking
>the noise of their cries can barely be heard through the door
>I clean myself up, and walk back to the front of the line and continue on with the next customers

To this day, I still wonder if they're still in there.

Non-lifting faggots?

Oh wait

Quote from: SmileySammy on November 04, 2014, 08:57:30 AM

How about no, you Dutch faggot.

HE'S DUTCH?!?
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA xD
Germany is better.

I'm Danish.

Part Danish

Quote from: Dustin Evolution on November 04, 2014, 09:02:59 AM

Quote from: RC5908 on November 04, 2014, 08:58:26 AM

downvoted

Downvotes don't do anything anymore.

is that why you downvote me daily on your thirty alts?

Are you that paranoid about it?

They can't ban us all

holy shit, I never knew people did similar things


does that mean i'm not unique??

It means you're a faggot.

rip orion

rip sgtflood

rip cybbi

rip zoid

rip sunny

rip capiton render

rip woot

rip cindy

rip darth ra

I think you're missing one.

36 Things You Never Realized Everyone Else Does Too

1. On a road trip, you start to think of the other cars as your travel companions, and feel a tinge of sadness when you exit the highway.

That's literally the funniest thing I've read all week. Do people actually do this though? LOL.

Not gonna lie though, I do these too

5. When you take a shower, you make a bucket with your arms to catch as much water as you can and splash it all onto the shower floor.

24. You need to check behind the shower curtain every time you go in the bathroom.

32. You immediately forget someone’s name right after they’ve introduced themselves.

36. You feel sympathy for inanimate objects when they’re underused or discarded.

I only did #36 when I was younger.

Oh yeah, here's the link if you guys want to see: http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/things-you-do-that-you-never-realized-everyone-else-does

Ariana Grande porn.

She looks like she's 15 but she's an adult.

Good idea/bad idea?

Or maybe Tennessee, Kentucky, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, and the entire west Appalachian area...

http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/11/03/alabama-sex-ring-family-charged-with-sharing-children-for-incestuous-orgies/

BAY MINETTE, Ala. — By most accounts, 19-year-old Brittney Wood was with uncle Donnie Holland the night of May 30, 2012, the last time anyone saw her. Holland — who was under investigation for horrific sex crimes at the time — died from a bullet within days in what was ruled a suicide.

The investigation that followed has publicly unraveled what authorities describe as a dark, twisted tale of perversion in the working-class neighbourhoods and piney backwoods of coastal Alabama.

Eight of Woods’ adult relatives and three family friends have been charged with dozens of felonies in two counties as the alleged members of an incestuous ring that authorities say shared children for group sex. Holland was the leader, prosecutors say, of what has been described as the largest sex ring ever uncovered in Alabama. Wood was a victim and likely key witness.

...

Tip of the hat to Florida, you managed not to be the one to fuck something up

tl;dr

I just woke myself up because of a dream just this morning. You guys are going to laugh, but I dreamed I was using the toilet and all of a sudden I noticed I was getting it all over myself even though I saw it going into the toilet. I had really hoped that was a dream too by the time I woke up.

wut.

I'm just taking a jab at people who say we're fighting for freedom in Iraq.

Quote from: Can't Bust the Dust on November 03, 2014, 05:37:48 PM

Quote from: Gatsby on November 03, 2014, 05:14:52 PM

Quote from: Der Führer Slash on November 03, 2014, 05:12:02 PM

Officer Nasty is a pegboy

ayy lmao

HA SAVED!
faggot ass
Not going to lie I was expecting you to be fat and downright ugly. You surprised me.

I expected him to be less of a bitch

You're fat, you're not allowed to have an opinion.

tfw not even fat