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Messages - Sandtrap

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8761
The Flood / Good Morning!
« on: December 22, 2014, 08:02:23 AM »
Flesh and bone and nerve we are
Bound in form and locked we are
Leading lives of which we see
Our world around us oh so real
Nerves and flesh of which we feel
Remind us that we're here to stay
And here I am to say
that I watch the sun hold the dark at bay

Good morning to all of you fine gentlemen and ladies. What are all of you up to today?

8762
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 11:06:27 PM »
Inspirational...never had it as hard as you. The only difficult thing I had to deal with is ulcerative colitis but haven't been sick for years. Today I realized I have to start living more, and can't be afraid of anything because you can't live life that way. Tonight I saw the Hobbit with friends I haven't seen in two years. And it made me happy and sad at the same time. It felt like the last time I saw them was a short time ago and not two full years.

Hard? I wouldn't call it hard. Not anymore. I can see and I can feel. And despite the fact that I feel like I've been rolled over by a truck, I'm a walking bundle of a million bucks right now. Too happy to be kept down. I hurt a fair bit. But at the same time I feel good a fair bit.

But you're right. It is happy sad isn't it? I return to this all. A life that's within reach and grasp. I could make it so wonderful. And yet, it's so far away, and always makes itself difficult.

And time. Oh how time is the master of insults and feelings.

8763
The Flood / Re: OFFICIAL MISSION THREAD: HELP ME IDENTIFY THIS DUDE
« on: December 21, 2014, 10:41:32 PM »
Loving those tabs.

8764
Gaming / Re: Favorite Halo UNSC warhero?
« on: December 21, 2014, 10:34:52 PM »
>People still actually voting for Chief
I know right? There are like five more important people in that list than the Chief.
People are actually voting for Sgt Black Cliche Comic Relief too.

Just why?

Well. Game apperances aside, Johnson did do some work. I mean he survived all the way from Harvest up to the end of the war. He either ran away from a fuck ton of fights or he fought tooth and claw out of every one of them.

Even still, running away from the Covenant isn't easy either. The funny thing is, most people see Johnson's exterior. AKA Sgt Black Cliche.

But let's stop for a second and think about Johnson as a living, breathing Human being for a second here.

He was at the very heart of things when Harvest had first contact. And since then, he's probably seen dozens of other worlds fall to being glassed. And he's fought in fights, all over. He's watched his original team, members who survived Harvest as rookies, fall one by one.

And he's survived it all.

That leaves marks on people. We never saw much of any sides to Johnson other than uppity, comic relief johnson.

But if you take even very basic psychology and apply it to Johnson then you see that his humor is actually a fuck ton of pain. Like, A FUCKING LOT. And it's his hatred as well. How could he not hate after 25 years of that?

I want you to think about that. Every fight Johnson every had to retreat from probably burned his ass. Every death around him while he still survived left a mark on him. And by the end of the war, he was tired.

And you could see it. Even though by the end of Halo 3 he was beaten by moonbabies and then lasered by spark, he was tired of all of it. He was fundamentally broken and tired.
None of this makes him one of the important people from that list.
That's what I'm getting at.

Well sure it does. The fact that he was there for all those events cements his role. If you knocked Johnson out of the equation, things would be different.

For example. Let's say Johnson never survived Halo's explosion.

He wouldn't have been there to help Chief board Aescendant Justice. And, arguably, Johnson saved Chief's life when Chief got into a fight with a black armoured Spec Ops elite on the bridge. Chief was losing the hand to hand battle and when the door cracked open Johnson opened up on the elite and gave chief that extra edge.

The point is, Johnson never did anything humongous. But it doesn't change his role. Because all of his small events accumulated into something big. Every fight. Every battle. It all led up to things as we know them now.

Knock one domino out and everything falls apart.
Now you're implying that Chief is on of the most important characters from that list.

Well, considering all the jobs Chief had himself dropped into, he's important too. All the folks on the list did something important whether it be big, or small. Some of them did it in a flash of glory like Cole or Whitcomb. Some of them fought for decades like Chief, Johnson, and Rookie. But their fights all amounted to something.
Hey now, Cole might not be actually dead.

Doesn't change the fact that he went out in a flash.

8765
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 10:33:27 PM »
Death is death. Nothing more

You're missing the point. Death is death. And a few days ago, I died. Flat lined. I was gone for about a minute before they jumpstarted my heart again.

But I'm not talking about death. I'm talking about what you stand to lose. What you stand to lose while you're here.

Full on flat-lined? Asystole? Because that's extremely rare to survive. By rare I mean almost never.

Not completely as I hear. I went down down down. They zapped me and got things going. And then I went down down down some more.

I just dropped and pretty much hit the ground and then they got me back up.

I can't really say because I sure as fuck wasn't there watching the show with popcorn.

Oh, did they say what caused it? Ventricular tachycardia or ventricular fibrillation, and why? Just body stress? I'm just surprised tbh, because you're young and MI's for young people aren't common.

Heyo. Here's the thing amigo. I was born premature as a wee baby. My heart's been sub-par from the start. I was on a machine for about two weeks after being born because my heart couldn't keep going without skipping and wanting to stop.

I had an infection a while back this year and that fucked around a lot with my heart. And, as of late, the strains were too much. Chemo and all the other crap. I was originally in the hospital because of a clot in my noggin, a hemmorage. Not related to my tumor thank fucking christ. They lowered my blood pressure to slow things down and that's where stuff started getting sketchy. My heart started skipping again.

It's not really a weak heart I guess. But it's a bit more susceptible to being fucked around with. That's why I steer clear of coffee because I can feel it. I can feel how fucking fast it goes. And even though I'm healthy, some days when I push myself I need to slow down because I can feel it.

And now that it's fucked a little bit I can feel that little irregular thump that's out of place. So. Big words from the doc. Ha. No good. I ask him to tell me stuff in simple terms.

Basically, my heart wanted to go out for a pack of smokes and never come back.

Is there any way to help it at all? Or just basically rest and hope for the best?

"Yo sandtrap, I realize you got shit to do an' all, but I'm on my break just sit the fuck down okay?" - Your heart

Ha. The best I can hope for is to stay healthy and do healthy shit for my heart. It's a muscle after all. It is wonky. And it is out of balance. But it still works. I eat my greens and do healthy active stuff and I can strengthen it as best I can.

But it doesn't change the fact that even if I didn't have any of this stuff to deal with, one day my heart might just decide to go out for a pack of smokes and not come back. And I'd be ding dong dead.

But I've managed 22 years so far. Who's to say I can't push it a little farther?

8766
Gaming / Re: Favorite Halo UNSC warhero?
« on: December 21, 2014, 10:30:40 PM »
>People still actually voting for Chief
I know right? There are like five more important people in that list than the Chief.
People are actually voting for Sgt Black Cliche Comic Relief too.

Just why?

Well. Game apperances aside, Johnson did do some work. I mean he survived all the way from Harvest up to the end of the war. He either ran away from a fuck ton of fights or he fought tooth and claw out of every one of them.

Even still, running away from the Covenant isn't easy either. The funny thing is, most people see Johnson's exterior. AKA Sgt Black Cliche.

But let's stop for a second and think about Johnson as a living, breathing Human being for a second here.

He was at the very heart of things when Harvest had first contact. And since then, he's probably seen dozens of other worlds fall to being glassed. And he's fought in fights, all over. He's watched his original team, members who survived Harvest as rookies, fall one by one.

And he's survived it all.

That leaves marks on people. We never saw much of any sides to Johnson other than uppity, comic relief johnson.

But if you take even very basic psychology and apply it to Johnson then you see that his humor is actually a fuck ton of pain. Like, A FUCKING LOT. And it's his hatred as well. How could he not hate after 25 years of that?

I want you to think about that. Every fight Johnson every had to retreat from probably burned his ass. Every death around him while he still survived left a mark on him. And by the end of the war, he was tired.

And you could see it. Even though by the end of Halo 3 he was beaten by moonbabies and then lasered by spark, he was tired of all of it. He was fundamentally broken and tired.
None of this makes him one of the important people from that list.
That's what I'm getting at.

Well sure it does. The fact that he was there for all those events cements his role. If you knocked Johnson out of the equation, things would be different.

For example. Let's say Johnson never survived Halo's explosion.

He wouldn't have been there to help Chief board Aescendant Justice. And, arguably, Johnson saved Chief's life when Chief got into a fight with a black armoured Spec Ops elite on the bridge. Chief was losing the hand to hand battle and when the door cracked open Johnson opened up on the elite and gave chief that extra edge.

The point is, Johnson never did anything humongous. But it doesn't change his role. Because all of his small events accumulated into something big. Every fight. Every battle. It all led up to things as we know them now.

Knock one domino out and everything falls apart.
Now you're implying that Chief is on of the most important characters from that list.

Well, considering all the jobs Chief had himself dropped into, he's important too. All the folks on the list did something important whether it be big, or small. Some of them did it in a flash of glory like Cole or Whitcomb. Some of them fought for decades like Chief, Johnson, and Rookie. But their fights all amounted to something.

8767
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 10:26:29 PM »
Death is death. Nothing more

You're missing the point. Death is death. And a few days ago, I died. Flat lined. I was gone for about a minute before they jumpstarted my heart again.

But I'm not talking about death. I'm talking about what you stand to lose. What you stand to lose while you're here.

Full on flat-lined? Asystole? Because that's extremely rare to survive. By rare I mean almost never.

Not completely as I hear. I went down down down. They zapped me and got things going. And then I went down down down some more.

I just dropped and pretty much hit the ground and then they got me back up.

I can't really say because I sure as fuck wasn't there watching the show with popcorn.

Oh, did they say what caused it? Ventricular tachycardia or ventricular fibrillation, and why? Just body stress? I'm just surprised tbh, because you're young and MI's for young people aren't common.

Heyo. Here's the thing amigo. I was born premature as a wee baby. My heart's been sub-par from the start. I was on a machine for about two weeks after being born because my heart couldn't keep going without skipping and wanting to stop.

I had an infection a while back this year and that fucked around a lot with my heart. And, as of late, the strains were too much. Chemo and all the other crap. I was originally in the hospital because of a clot in my noggin, a hemmorage. Not related to my tumor thank fucking christ. They lowered my blood pressure to slow things down and that's where stuff started getting sketchy. My heart started skipping again.

It's not really a weak heart I guess. But it's a bit more susceptible to being fucked around with. That's why I steer clear of coffee because I can feel it. I can feel how fucking fast it goes. And even though I'm healthy, some days when I push myself I need to slow down because I can feel it.

And now that it's fucked a little bit I can feel that little irregular thump that's out of place. So. Big words from the doc. Ha. No good. I ask him to tell me stuff in simple terms.

Basically, my heart wanted to go out for a pack of smokes and never come back.


8768
Gaming / Re: Favorite Halo UNSC warhero?
« on: December 21, 2014, 10:19:14 PM »
>People still actually voting for Chief
I know right? There are like five more important people in that list than the Chief.
People are actually voting for Sgt Black Cliche Comic Relief too.

Just why?

Well. Game apperances aside, Johnson did do some work. I mean he survived all the way from Harvest up to the end of the war. He either ran away from a fuck ton of fights or he fought tooth and claw out of every one of them.

Even still, running away from the Covenant isn't easy either. The funny thing is, most people see Johnson's exterior. AKA Sgt Black Cliche.

But let's stop for a second and think about Johnson as a living, breathing Human being for a second here.

He was at the very heart of things when Harvest had first contact. And since then, he's probably seen dozens of other worlds fall to being glassed. And he's fought in fights, all over. He's watched his original team, members who survived Harvest as rookies, fall one by one.

And he's survived it all.

That leaves marks on people. We never saw much of any sides to Johnson other than uppity, comic relief johnson.

But if you take even very basic psychology and apply it to Johnson then you see that his humor is actually a fuck ton of pain. Like, A FUCKING LOT. And it's his hatred as well. How could he not hate after 25 years of that?

I want you to think about that. Every fight Johnson every had to retreat from probably burned his ass. Every death around him while he still survived left a mark on him. And by the end of the war, he was tired.

And you could see it. Even though by the end of Halo 3 he was beaten by moonbabies and then lasered by spark, he was tired of all of it. He was fundamentally broken and tired.
None of this makes him one of the important people from that list.
That's what I'm getting at.

Well sure it does. The fact that he was there for all those events cements his role. If you knocked Johnson out of the equation, things would be different.

For example. Let's say Johnson never survived Halo's explosion.

He wouldn't have been there to help Chief board Aescendant Justice. And, arguably, Johnson saved Chief's life when Chief got into a fight with a black armoured Spec Ops elite on the bridge. Chief was losing the hand to hand battle and when the door cracked open Johnson opened up on the elite and gave chief that extra edge.

The point is, Johnson never did anything humongous. But it doesn't change his role. Because all of his small events accumulated into something big. Every fight. Every battle. It all led up to things as we know them now.

Knock one domino out and everything falls apart.


8769
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 10:13:35 PM »
Death is death. Nothing more

You're missing the point. Death is death. And a few days ago, I died. Flat lined. I was gone for about a minute before they jumpstarted my heart again.

But I'm not talking about death. I'm talking about what you stand to lose. What you stand to lose while you're here.

Full on flat-lined? Asystole? Because that's extremely rare to survive. By rare I mean almost never.

Not completely as I hear. I went down down down. They zapped me and got things going. And then I went down down down some more.

I just dropped and pretty much hit the ground and then they got me back up.

I can't really say because I sure as fuck wasn't there watching the show with popcorn.

8770
Gaming / Re: Favorite Halo UNSC warhero?
« on: December 21, 2014, 10:10:46 PM »
>People still actually voting for Chief
I know right? There are like five more important people in that list than the Chief.
People are actually voting for Sgt Black Cliche Comic Relief too.

Just why?

Well. Game apperances aside, Johnson did do some work. I mean he survived all the way from Harvest up to the end of the war. He either ran away from a fuck ton of fights or he fought tooth and claw out of every one of them.

Even still, running away from the Covenant isn't easy either. The funny thing is, most people see Johnson's exterior. AKA Sgt Black Cliche.

But let's stop for a second and think about Johnson as a living, breathing Human being for a second here.

He was at the very heart of things when Harvest had first contact. And since then, he's probably seen dozens of other worlds fall to being glassed. And he's fought in fights, all over. He's watched his original team, members who survived Harvest as rookies, fall one by one.

And he's survived it all.

That leaves marks on people. We never saw much of any sides to Johnson other than uppity, comic relief johnson.

But if you take even very basic psychology and apply it to Johnson then you see that his humor is actually a fuck ton of pain. Like, A FUCKING LOT. And it's his hatred as well. How could he not hate after 25 years of that?

I want you to think about that. Every fight Johnson every had to retreat from probably burned his ass. Every death around him while he still survived left a mark on him. And by the end of the war, he was tired.

And you could see it. Even though by the end of Halo 3 he was beaten by moonbabies and then lasered by spark, he was tired of all of it. He was fundamentally broken and tired.

8771
Gaming / Re: Favorite Halo UNSC warhero?
« on: December 21, 2014, 09:55:21 PM »
Also.

YA'LL MOTHER FUCKS FORGOT VICE ADMIRAL DANFORTH MOTHERFUCKING WHITCOMB.




8772
Gaming / Re: "Brain twisting missions"
« on: December 21, 2014, 09:51:09 PM »
The only brain-twisting mission I experienced in Destiny, was when I tried to see if it even had a story.

We're going down the rabbit hole for this one boys. The rabbit hole is the story.

8773
Gaming / Re: Favorite Halo UNSC warhero?
« on: December 21, 2014, 09:47:05 PM »
TFW no fucking Jenkins.

8774
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 09:37:41 PM »
It takes a special kind of strength and courage to turn suffering on its head, I admire you for that. I certainly hope you do make a successful recovery. We may not know eachother, but I don't want you to die.

I remember you. You're a glass blower correct?
It is my dream, yes.

Hmm. You're one of the folks I remember because you're a rarity in this world and day and age. You know how much of a dying art glass blowing is?

Keep going my friend. You'll do well.

8775
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 09:36:26 PM »
I like to think that I have come to terms with the impermanence of life, but I still think about death often enough.

Who doesn't? Fact is my heart stopped. Gave out because of too much strain. I was under for just under a minute before they got me back. I don't remember a damn thing. But I think about it. What, if anything waits for us when our time shows up.

But I'm reminded that I won't have that answer until it comes knocking on my door. And so life, everything we have is special. Even the bad. Because what if, there was nothing?

Wouldn't you fight to have something over nothing? Fight to keep it. To live it and breathe it for as long as you can?
The ego can only endure so much for so long. Good or bad. Life is fleeting yes, but eventually one needs to rest. I may cherish the things I love in this life, and even the bad and what it has taught me, but none of it is absolute, not even the feelings I hold on to because of it. I believe that there is only one thing that truly is, the nature of which is beyond any relative way to define or measure. It is understandable that the only sense one might make of death is nothingness because perception is unable to grasp that which lies on the other side of that door.

I could almost envy you for having experienced something so powerful, but I won't because I don't believe I'm ready for it and I may never be. However, I thank you for sharing your experience with me as best as you can.

I wish you all the luck in the world, Sandtrap.

In regards to being ding dong dead.

I have some thoughts on the matter. For starters, I wasn't awake for it. I passed out, the docs did shit to me, and then dumped me in a bed to rest. And then my heart decided to take a break.

But I'm thinking here. People are afraid of death. And it's natural. We can't see it. We don't know it. We can only experience it, in full, one time. Religions speak of a paradise and afterlife beyond the strains of this world.

Stupidity. Why throw away the rigors and trials of this life for the sake of supposed perfection? I am who I am not because I am perfect but because I was born into a flawed world, a flawed family, I met flawed people, and now here I am in all my flaws.

And then there are the athiests. They take no stance on things so as far as they're concerned they get dropped into a hole in the ground or get their ashes blown out to sea when the wind was blowing the wrong direction.

Religions say perfection. Atheism says hole in the ground.

I want you to stop and think. You're dead.

There's nothing. Absolutely nothing.

You can't grasp it. Because any image you conjure, any idea you conjure, any picture, sound, feel, anything at all, exists.

And I want you to think about this. If there was absolutely nothing when you were dead.

Then what was your life?

Think about it. If absolutely nothing exists, then it would be all consuming because it's an absolute. It would have to be. It wouldn't even be an absolute because no such thing as an absolute would exist.

If, when we die, we fell into a black void of absolutely nothing, then what the fuck was the life behind us? It was something. And if you have something, then that means nothing can't exist.

An absolute nothing, can't exist.

People, atheists in particular call it a void.

A void is something. It's an idea. A shade of light, or non light that doesn't reflect. It's a concept.

So. My point is. We are perception locked to this world, this reality, because it is very real and physical.

We are made of flesh and bone and nerve, warning systems and feelings that let us know that our body is alive. That we should take care. That we should feel good.

That's our sphere. And then we die. Boom. Nothing. But there can't be, because we just came from something. We just came from a life and existence that is very real. And in order to even get into "absolute nothing," we have to cross over.

Crossing over would be something.

So. Long story short. My gut says we're not done when we leave these earth bound bodies from the soil and earth. It's just another form of perception. A higher awareness maybe. Part of the big old background mesh.

Can I say for sure? No.

But the next time you think about about "absolute nothing," think of how silly it is. Like a paradise after death were everything is all hunky dory and all your experiences and fights down below are rendered useless and pointless.

8776
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 09:08:18 PM »
It takes a special kind of strength and courage to turn suffering on its head, I admire you for that. I certainly hope you do make a successful recovery. We may not know eachother, but I don't want you to die.

I remember you. You're a glass blower correct?

8777
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 07:10:37 PM »
I like to think that I have come to terms with the impermanence of life, but I still think about death often enough.

Who doesn't? Fact is my heart stopped. Gave out because of too much strain. I was under for just under a minute before they got me back. I don't remember a damn thing. But I think about it. What, if anything waits for us when our time shows up.

But I'm reminded that I won't have that answer until it comes knocking on my door. And so life, everything we have is special. Even the bad. Because what if, there was nothing?

Wouldn't you fight to have something over nothing? Fight to keep it. To live it and breathe it for as long as you can?

8778
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 06:12:15 PM »
well shit

there goes my smile :(

Why the fuck did I kill your smile? Unless you were hoping I stayed dead or something I'm fine as can fucking be right now. I feel like I got ass pounded by a semi but I'm alive and there isn't shit that can keep me down.
just reading what you're going through kinda brings me down and puts into perspective how lucky I am to be in good health >.>

Well don't be fucking down about it because I'm not. Not anymore at least. Ya should be happy. Because I'm sure fucking happy. I can stand and walk and be alive. And that's good.

8779
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 06:05:54 PM »
well shit

there goes my smile :(

Why the fuck did I kill your smile? Unless you were hoping I stayed dead or something I'm fine as can fucking be right now. I feel like I got ass pounded by a semi but I'm alive and there isn't shit that can keep me down.

8780
The Flood / Re: Everyone please join me in welcoming back....
« on: December 21, 2014, 05:53:08 PM »
Okay.

8781
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 05:50:01 PM »
I'm bumping this shit for the stoners and sad people. Because this feels like some long ass drug trip to me. But I'm feeling damn fine today.

8782
The Flood / Re: I don't understand the majority of marijuana hate on here
« on: December 21, 2014, 04:59:00 PM »
Don't hate it. Don't like it either. Just sitting around is all. Folks can do what they feel like.
m8

get some fucken mary jane in

smoke a bit of piff

get skunk'd by Hashton Kusher.

Na. I'm good.

8783
The Flood / Re: When you take the perfect shit
« on: December 21, 2014, 04:58:14 PM »
TFW you work at a restaurant and nobody is capable of a good clean shit.

There's shit stuck to the bowl. There's shit on the underside of the bowl when fat people sit on it.

There's shit on the seat.

There's shit everywhere. And the mother fuckers keep dropping toilet busters too.

8784
The Flood / Re: I don't understand the majority of marijuana hate on here
« on: December 21, 2014, 04:55:46 PM »
Don't hate it. Don't like it either. Just sitting around is all. Folks can do what they feel like.

8785
The Flood / Re: I Wont Be Around Here This Christmas.
« on: December 21, 2014, 04:04:09 PM »

8786
Gaming / Re: FFXV + DQ Heroes Jump Festa Trailers
« on: December 21, 2014, 10:08:11 AM »
Typical sep7. 'Why isn't this a shooter'
 ;)
I'm just looking at it from a tech point of few. The game seems like it takes place in the future or some alternate earth with advanced tech but they're still using ancient forms of weapons. I just find that dumb. It's the same thing with Star Ocean The Last Hope. We go from using our advanced rail guns to using swords and shit because of a single encounter with a single species on a single planet. With that logic the military should stop using rifles and start using rocket launchers because the AR bullets are useless against tanks.   

Whoever said less explosions was a good thing were wrong. More explosions are a good thing.

8787
The Flood / Re: I'm 18 today!
« on: December 21, 2014, 09:54:43 AM »
Heyo. Happy Birthday amigo.

8788
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 09:19:37 AM »
At least you're not in a coma this time.

No rest for the wicked!

8789
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 08:55:50 AM »
I understand your awakening, but I don't understand your pain, because I haven't felt it. I can imagine it vividly, but I will not say that I've felt it accurately. Life is precious, it should be taken advantage of, but it's also art. You don't let your pain stop you from pursuing what you want to do, and neither will I.

I always respected stuff before this. Life in general. But I see the whole picture now. Pain isn't there to stop you. It only stops you because we're simple beings. Nerves and flesh and warning signals to remind us that we can die. Feelings that can be infringed upon because we are self conscious of ourselves.

But pain's a part of it. It's not an abstract, sitting in a corner. It's the very same as everything else. Part of the experience. It's different. But not inherently bad, or evil. Too much of it is unhealthy because it affects our poor dirt bound bodies and minds. But pain has it's shining moments. Like now. So many broken buggered up things in me and I can still stand because I like to stand and move.
You understand that you're gutsy, though, right? Not everyone can take that pain and beauty and square their chin. Something in your genes and upbringing has prepared you for it. The subtle and empathic will understand. The purely curious will come close to understanding if you're eloquent enough and you give them space to reflect. There are all sorts of people who'll care, but there might be more who don't.

Don't know if I'd call it gutsy. Plenty of folks go through worse experiences than me every day. And they can't help it or fix it and yet there they are. I'm just up and about because I like to be up and about. Drop me off in their shoes and I'd be a big mess though. So I ask what takes more guts?

Going because you know? Or going because you don't know yet you still step forward anyway?

Who knows? All I know is that in the meantime I'm around! And things go up from here. Stuff will go up now and I'll start to recover. Won't be long now.

8790
The Flood / Re: I have something to tell you folks
« on: December 21, 2014, 08:30:46 AM »
I understand your awakening, but I don't understand your pain, because I haven't felt it. I can imagine it vividly, but I will not say that I've felt it accurately. Life is precious, it should be taken advantage of, but it's also art. You don't let your pain stop you from pursuing what you want to do, and neither will I.

I always respected stuff before this. Life in general. But I see the whole picture now. Pain isn't there to stop you. It only stops you because we're simple beings. Nerves and flesh and warning signals to remind us that we can die. Feelings that can be infringed upon because we are self conscious of ourselves.

But pain's a part of it. It's not an abstract, sitting in a corner. It's the very same as everything else. Part of the experience. It's different. But not inherently bad, or evil. Too much of it is unhealthy because it affects our poor dirt bound bodies and minds. But pain has it's shining moments. Like now. So many broken buggered up things in me and I can still stand because I like to stand and move.

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