Ooh la la.

Quote from: Kinder on October 24, 2014, 11:43:28 AM

OP is butthurt that this place is still going strong

A lot of people are bitter about this place. The hate posts that crop up about it on Bnet every once in a while are proof of that. The smug "I told you so" comments also appear when someone exaggerates the drama over here, even if nothing of the sort is actually happening.

I'm sure there's some sort of psychological explanation for it. Maybe the Bnet regulars consider this site as some sort of threat to Bungie (even though we are tiny in comparison)?

It's an issue of sentemntality and enviousness. I say sentimentality because they're trying to cling stubbornly to a site that, let's face it, has seen better days and has moved on far, far away from its golden age. There's no life in it's threads, and the people that pull the strings, no longer interact on the level that they used to.

So, in order to cling to what they've lost, they'll come up with any reason to shunt out something that threatens their illusion of reality. And that reason is hate. Dislike. But why hate and dislike? All the comments about how the place will blow over, and the obligatory "circle jerk of populars?"

It's jealousy and the refusal to accept the real reality of things in their faces. I watched from the sidelines, as after the more vocal regulars left, people stepped in to fill the void. To gain "internet fame and popularity." Insecurities manifest themselves in our actions and writing on the internet, whether they be up front and center for all to see, or hidden behind fake personas to give them a sense of nourishment for what they lack.

You true colours show on the internet, even if you hide behind lies and fake identities. They refuse to accept the reaility that Bungie has changed and that they are no longer in the favor of a fair portion of their fanbase.

Most of all, their insecurities manifest in a power vacuum that the so called "popular users" once held there.

They cling to denial, and deny acceptance that at our core, we're a community of people. We're all just people. Villainize one side, de-humanize them, and the reality of what you're doing to them doesn't show until it's too late.

...

I'm not. Of course, even if I could go back there, I wouldn't. Place has no soul anymore.

I've only got one here. And they, like everybody else have moved on. In fact, when I spoke to him a few days ago, he was packing his stuff to head off to one of the bigger cities. He's been the only person I've ever known here as a friend in any capacity ever since I arrived here in this province oh so far away ago.

But, right now, It's just me. In a week or so my friend will move from where he's currently living, about 40 mins away, to one of the far off cities. And that'll be that. That's the only "external" friend I've ever had. Strange like me, a little bit of a mouth faster than his head which has gotten him into trouble some days. But I've been there when he needed it. And, when I was having fun in the hospital, I dumped deathwatch duty on him and he did a good job of repaying me back for those days I stood in his place when he said something a little too freely.

As for internal family friends, I know I can always trust my sister absolutely. And my little niece is something special. My brother in law, my mother, are good folks. Even my original father is too in some capacity.

But I've gotta start looking for somebody. Being alone like this every day, waking up to no smiles, nobody to ask how the day goes or what's on my mind is killing me. Hurts more than my lungs which burn in short breaths and the shit I hack up with my smoker-esque cough. Hurts more than all the tired and worn muscles that are locked up and stiff from all the work I've been doing lately. I know my family cares. But it'd be nice to have somebody beyond them.

You know, my little niece came up to me one day, as I was talking to her, and she asked why I was sad? I was laughing with her, and had a smile on my face, and when I asked what she meant, she pointed at my eyes and said they looked sad.

I don't rightfully know what to tell her. I don't want to tell her. The world can be a mean place. People can be insensitive and cruel. But I suppose I'll just have to try right? Try for her. Try for myself. Walk this road to wherever it leads, take it one step at a time until I can't. And, maybe, with a little luck, I'll find somebody along the way. In the meantime, I suppose I'll just have to put up with it right? I've done this for 22 years now already. Few more won't bother the void that sits in me.

Quote from: Sandtrap on October 23, 2014, 05:13:02 PM

How much money would you bet on your credit card that you'll be in debt over your head by the end of the month?

$0.00

Good man. Watch those damn cards. It's easy to slip.

Quote from: Sandtrap on October 23, 2014, 06:20:41 PM

Quote from: Camnator on October 23, 2014, 06:14:42 PM

There's no such thing as a male with a nice booty.

Don't make me slap on my work boots and go trudging through the internets to prove you wrong. Cause I'm for a wager.

I dare you!

And it lands.

Tails.

There's no such thing as a male with a nice booty.

Don't make me slap on my work boots and go trudging through the internets to prove you wrong. Cause I'm for a wager.

I like where you live.

I'm just waitin' on a sunny day here or some spare time so that I can travel a bit farther. There's a lot of special spots around here. If I could wake up early enough to get some lakeside shots or get clouds in the evening I'd go for it.

The best shots are the one's I can't take sadly. I can't show you all what night is like up here. Dunes of snow on a full moon are something else.

Quote from: Sandtrap on October 23, 2014, 11:48:20 AM

Quote from: Elegiac on October 23, 2014, 11:45:43 AM

It's beautiful.

Some days, it can be plain. And it can be grinding, all this flat land. The weather hates you some days, for weeks at a time. And the people here are simple, dumb enough to make you just want to slap them upside the head and get some common sense in there. And it's hard, to make a living and survive out here.

But it always has one thing that almost every other part of the world doesn't.

Peace.

I spent ten years in the country. I understand.

It's rare to get this kind of space and quiet anywhere else in the world. It may be mundane some days, but I would never trade it.

Fleas or an unknown allergy.

Funny you should mention an epiphany. Because I had a little thought yesterday. We know that Sangheili aren't all abstained from having cyborg implants and prosthetics. So here's my question for you.

Sorry bou't the derailement by the way. Didn't feel like making another thread.

How does R'tas Vadum eat? We know Sangheili have a diet of both meats and greens. But he's missing half his mouth. Eating with an open gap at the bottom of your mouth would be tricky enough as is. But doing anything with only half a mouth is near impossible.

Which brings me to my real question. You think 343 will fill in this little gap by giving him some synthetic mandibles? Because as it stands right now, the only way I can see him doing anything is sticking a tube down his throat and sending mashed food down it.

Nobody likes having a tube shoved down their throat for food.

The weather looks very dreary...

Not like it's sunny down here though.

Winter should have showed up a month ago. But it's just on the verge of snow. But we've still got some sunshine left. I'll keep posting the different moods as I go along. When the sun shines, with those last persistent rays of light fighting stubbornly against the coming cold, this grey does not matter.

Quote from: Sandtrap on October 23, 2014, 11:39:27 AM

Ya, real good job being empathic here folks. Bang up job.

Come on, Charlie's not THAT sensitive.

In this particular state of mind, he is.

Well folks, I've started a little project. I'm taking pictures of the area around me, for some friends of mine. And I figure, why not show them to you all as well?

I'm no photographer, and this camera doesn't do justice to what my eyes see. But I can write. So I'm going to show you a piece of my world now. And I'm going to bring to life what lives in the air on a day like today. Keep in mind, this is a fall morning. Sometimes, you get entire days like this. This is a piece of the world I live in. And all I did was drive south down one single road for 5 minutes.

The start of my little trip, at 8o'clock


So, got those pictures fresh on your mind? Okay then. Just sit back, and listen.

You wake up in the morning, to cold. It's not a piercing cold, but one that surrounds you, clings to you. A dampness in the air as the fog is almost rain. You look out to the grey skies, and the fields and trees, and you just don't feel like anything. So, you huddle up, and make a fire. This is a heat you've probably never known before. It's not nourishing like the sunshine. It's not dry like electric heat. It's pure, simple fire. It burns, consumes, and generates a warmth so pure, a limited aura around the fireplace that all you want to do is just sit there, close to it, never wanting that feeling to end.

But, you get up, and you go back to bed. Pull the blankets over you, and let the heat fill up the space around you. And you go back to sleep. Because you can.

Or, you wake up, and in a quiet space, in the heat and shelter of a little home, you sit down at a table, stretch your legs out, turn on some music, and you draw. Or read. Do some paperwork for something. Stop by your favorite internet places. Play something on your good old game console. And outside, in the chill, and the fog, all day long, with bits of rain coming down on the metal roof that you can hear, and the sound of water on windows, you're safe. You're in this little place, and you can do whatever you want.

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you get in your car or truck, and you drive. Listen to your music, the sound of rain on the roof of your vehicle, crank up the heat, and you just go, out into the fog.

And suddenly, you spot a patch of forest. And you get out of your truck, and you go out there into the quiet woods, to the sound of birds, and rain on the trees, while the fog surrounds you, clings to you, makes your clothes damp.

And then, when you're done, you go home. You go home to that little fire, and that little space, that's always there. Safe, and warm.

That's my life. This is what I can almost.... almost just reach. You can do all of what I said above, just because you can. This is my world. I know that maybe it sounds a little too easy. And yes, that's true. A lot of work is needed up here to survive. But there are days like this for me.

And so, we come to the end of our ride.

I leave you, with the best picture I took today.