Picked up Kingdom Hearts: The Story So Far

 
Verbatim
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because it was $25 and that seemed like too good of a deal to pass up

it's getting delivered tomorrow

how much am i going to regret this on a scale of 1 to college


Ian | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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If you thought the plot to a convoluted anime was bad....


MarKhan | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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If you bend your mind towards the challenge, the skill will follow in your hands
Spoiler
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Verbatim
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Played a couple hours of Kingdom Hearts Final Mix, but i haven't really been able to enjoy myself playing it yet

i've always found the idea of a disney/final fantasy crossover to be incredibly lame and stupid, hence why i'm only trying the series right now, and that hasn't really changed, but now i have a bevy of other issues to complain about

- shit camera + awkward jump physics = utterly miserable platforming, making the race against riku almost unplayable
- lifeless combat that gets stale and monotonous right away due to all the button mashing
- the first two missions of the game past the tutorial are just meaningless fetch quests that waste your time
- the visual enhancements of this "definitive" version seem to apply only to character models and world designs, but special effects (like the waves in the ocean) still look like PS2-era material, which creates this weird inconsistency with the graphics
- even so, some characters, like minnie mouse, look like expressionless plastic dolls

the music has been okay, and the overall presentation has been fine, but i'm still left with a very poor first impression
Last Edit: September 18, 2019, 04:08:47 PM by Verbatim


 
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almost done with KH1 i think

thank fucking god, this shit was way worse than i could've been prepared for

i'll write up a review and share it when i do


MarKhan | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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If you bend your mind towards the challenge, the skill will follow in your hands
almost done with KH1 i think

thank fucking god, this shit was way worse than i could've been prepared for

i'll write up a review and share it when i do
I now feel sorry for not telling you right away that you will regret it almost as much as college


 
Verbatim
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Didn't really have the energy to write that Kingdom Hearts review, but it's a 4/10 game. I like the spirit behind it, and it was clearly made with a lot of heart and soul and all, but the gameplay was extremely clunky, and the story was very dumb and juvenile. I know it's a kind of an ancient game at this point, but I'm inclined to be less forgiving when I consider that the original Ratchet & Clank was released in the same year, which is a game that completely blows KH1 out of the water.

Playing through Chain of Memories right now, and it's looking like it might be even worse.
Last Edit: April 30, 2020, 07:54:24 PM by Verbatim


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I remember watching my brother play through Re: Chain Of Memories on the PS2 and he hated every fucking second of it. But he also praises KH2 as one of the greatest games ever made, his tastes are very....unique.


 
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I remember watching my brother play through Re: Chain Of Memories on the PS2 and he hated every fucking second of it. But he also praises KH2 as one of the greatest games ever made, his tastes are very....unique.
Yeah, every KH fan I know praises KH2 to high heavens, and though I'm keeping my expectations low, it's the only reason I'm continuing with the series.

I've also been told that if I don't like it, I officially don't have to bother with the rest of the series, so there's that.


 
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this is one of the shittiest games i've ever played in my entire life


 
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okay, it's over

here's a quick little write-up, because this game hurt me:



Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories

This game fucking sucks, and I'm super glad to be done with it. I would have much preferred to play the sprite-based original, just so that I didn't have to put up with the recycled assets and the subpar voice acting, but those are the VERY least of this game's problems.

While the story, characters, and themes did end up surprising me quite a bit, and have me intrigued with what the rest of the series has to offer from a narrative standpoint alone, I won't allow those things to tint my perception of the overall experience, because as much as I enjoyed those aspects, I believe video games should be rated as video games.

That being said, this is a miserable video game. The card-based combat mechanics (which I was initially excited for, because I love card games) are actually just basic numbes-game dogshit comprised entirely of braindead gimmicks and laughable RNG-fueled fuckery; the sort of tedium I might have expected (and perhaps forgiven) from an NES title, but certainly not something made in the 2000s. Combine this shit with the oh-so prescient gacha-based card collecting system, and you have one hell of an unsatisfying gameplay loop that feeds primarily into your most reptilian instincts.

The worlds are not only rehashed from KH1, but are also heavily homogenized, to a point where if they were stripped of their specific Disney-themed coats of paint, you simply wouldn't be able to tell them apart. Nothing interesting or memorable happens in any of these worlds. Just a mindless and watered down version of the Disney movies they're based on. KH1's worlds sucked in similar ways, but at least they weren't so woefully bereft of Disney charm.

I can appreciate that they tried experimenting with this one, because that's admirable in its own right, but this was an unequivocal failure. I feel like there's a decent game hiding in here somewhere, but it was lost in an array of disconnected and rearranged memories (or something). As a result, this is probably the worst game I've ever finished--or at least, the most unhappy I've ever been over the course of a video game playthrough.

So yeah, bad game. Shame that it wasn't just made into a movie like 358/2 Days was.

3/10



now, onto more pressing matters
Last Edit: May 05, 2020, 12:38:47 AM by Verbatim