I wrote a Halo monologue

Legit 8-Bit | Respected Posting Frenzy
 
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ayy lmao
So basically, I had to write a monologue for my animation class and I decided to base mine off of the short story, "Dirt," by Tobias Buckwell. Instead of the story being narrated by Gage Yevgenny talking about his life, I chose to turn the spotlight toward the one and only Rookie from Halo 3: ODST.

If you guys could take the time out of your day to read it as well as give me feedback, I would really appreciate it. I really put a lot of time and effort into this project, despite the fact that it's not exactly original nor is it too extensive. That being said, please enjoy.

P.S. There are a couple of Easter eggs here and there. Some are better hidden than others, so try to find them.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zKGfXrBj6VlpIP5Cmyf6EFdulCpkj6y9Gs6gGvHgKEk/edit?usp=sharing

Edit: For the record, there are a couple of pretty bad grammatical errors because this is a heavily edited version of the first draft, my bad.
Last Edit: April 19, 2015, 06:25:30 PM by Legit 8-Bit


Legit 8-Bit | Respected Posting Frenzy
 
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Bump because I need to turn it in soon and need some feedback from the Halo community.
Last Edit: April 10, 2015, 05:46:03 AM by Legit 8-Bit


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If you don't read my monologue, we can't be friends.


Comet | Legendary Invincible!
 
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Quote
I was an Orbital Drop Shock Trooper s ,...
i would have liked to stay a bit longer stay with the dying man for a  while longer. his death didnt carry any meaning to me as a reader because of how short his appearance had been. he was around for a page and we didnt see much of his personality, the narrator just kinda glossed over everything and moved on.

tl;dr: show, dont tell.
Last Edit: April 11, 2015, 01:14:46 PM by Comet


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ayy lmao
Quote
I was an Orbital Drop Shock Trooper s ,...
i would have liked to stay a bit longer stay with the dying man for a  while longer. his death didnt carry any meaning to me as a reader because of how short his appearance had been. he was around for a page and we didnt see much of his personality, the narrator just kinda glossed over everything and moved on.

tl;dr: show, dont tell.
I updated the monologue so it shows more meaning to his death. I also fixed most of the grammatical errors I could find.