...they just didn't know what to do?...

You take one of your friends who has only ever played CoD, Halo, Battlefield, Runescape, Candy Crush, and Clash of Clans, and you say, "Hey, let me show you a real game."  You have them play Super Metroid, for example.

...And they can't do it. Their brains shut down. As you're watching them play, they're jumping straight into enemies, only jumping straight up in the air, never crouching... Never doing the most basic of maneuvers. And then they get frustrated and quit after five minutes, usually after their first death. And then they'll say, "I don't know what to do, I don't know how to play."

Bonus points if they mention the graphics sucking.

Conversely, maybe you've had a parent who's played a lot of retro games, and they can't seem to get into anything past the SNES era. They might be able to play simple platformers on PS2, like Ratchet & Clank, but when it comes to playing anything that's in first person, they don't get it, either. They don't understand the concept that there are two sticks on the controller that you're supposed to use simultaneously. Often, they'll say, "There's just too many buttons, and it confuses me."

it's like, have you tried pressing the buttons to see what they do?...
it's the most frustrating thing to watch, ever

i'm not expecting mastery from people who have never played a game before
but i swear, it's like people don't even try

Basically me after skipping the Arma 2 Tutorial

>Finally pilots an Osprey (VTOL)
>Flies squad into a forest, halting above a clearing
>Activate autoland
>Wings rotate horizontally and the aircraft pitches forward
>Entirety of squad dies, excluding a medic and I
>Both of us are incapable of moving due to broken limbs

that's my favorite thing

"did i just get hit" or "did i just die"

figure it out dude

i lost all my retro consoles ; _ ;

Haha whoops quoted myself instead of editing!

Well as part of my school duties I help out the Computing department with things like open evenings; and usually we set up some games on the computers, space invaders in python, a version of Pacman we made in scratch-nothing tricky.

My fucking god, between the braindead parents and the thicko 9 years olds I had to avoid suicide trying to teach them how to MOVE in Pacman. In order to show them how it was done I ran through the level in about 30 seconds and they started complaining that I was 'being mean'

I'm prone to this. I mean, in recent years I learned to push through it. I didn't have the attention span when I was younger for Super Mario 64, but now I fucking love it. The vague level objective descriptions make exploring the environment much more rewarding.

Even MGS I had trouble adjusting to.

But, at a certain point I just think I don't enjoy a lot of games. "Classics" like Deus Ex, Mass Effect, Halo. They genuinely don't interest me. But not for lack of trying.

Oh, it also makes my blood boil when they skip cutscenes.

Like--...

If i'm playing co-op and my partner skips a cutscene they do so with the knowledge that i'm likely to throw them out the window-it pisses me off

Quote from: Luciana on July 16, 2015, 04:01:24 PM

Was never a fan of Metroid and haven't ran into anyone like that

I don't know if I ever want to.

i mean yeah, metroid was just an example
it's a platformer with a slightly complex control scheme--it's a bit more than just jumping and shooting

but i've even had the same problem with, like, super mario bros

a game where you literally run in one direction and jump
"you should get that mushroom"
"why? i thought they were bad"
"no, those are goombas--great, now it's gone"
"is it gonna come back?"
"nope, too bad"
"wow, that's unfair, this game is dumb--hey look, there's another"
"no, THAT'S... a goomba..."
"did i just die?"
"yes"
"man, this game sucks, i quit"

something like that

Your selection of friends lack intelligence...

they're not bright

Like....what did they grow up with >.>

Any gamer worth theyre teabags should at least know how to play Mario....he's gotta go Verb.

i wouldn't go that far

i've known some of these guys for 8+ years

i wouldn't go that far

i've known some of these guys for 8+ years

Oh well then you're stuck lol my favorite thing to do is to watch my mom play video games retro and new because she still thrusts her hands and controller in the direction she wants the character to go. Mind you she is a good gamer, but that one little habit makes me laugh. I guess enjoy being the superior gamer to your friends.