Dark Souls Impressions - The FINAL Update

From the way your shield defends from the blast is making me consider thet  my shield is shit or Its my own fault for not upgrading it, I think that's pretty much it I'll try it once I go back to playing it again

You need to pay attention to the defense values of shields.

Spoiler

I think the crest shield is best against magic.

Did you beat it yet?

Did you beat it yet?

If I did, I would've said so.

What the hell has taken so long?

What the hell has taken so long?

School, life, etc.

Haven't you ever taken your sweet time playing through a game?

What the hell has taken so long?

School, life, etc.

Haven't you ever taken your sweet time playing through a game?

I can understand taking your time, but it's been nearly a year.

Speaking of Ornstein and Smough, I fought two players at the same time in PVP who cosplayed as them. I was able to stay alive and even win a bit for a minute until others invaded and it ended up 3v2. We obviously won with those odds

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this game is like riding a bike.

Unless this is a really weird insult

Spoiler

I'll take that apology for the tutorial spergout any time

Spoiler

cunt

this game is like riding a bike.

Unless this is a really weird insult

Spoiler

I'll take that apology for the tutorial spergout any time

Spoiler

cunt

while i still hold that my grievances at the time were legitimate, my reasons for quitting then and there were very illegitimate

UNLESS this "second half is bad" meme is true, of course

everything seems to be in order where i'm at, but we'll see what happens

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Let's go verby, let's go!

so the other day, i had this idea that was SO dumb, i just had to do it

i decided to write this update in the style of "a visit from st. nicholas"--i never finished it, though, because i started realizing halfway in that it was just becoming more and more separated from the original poem, and i just wanted to see how far i could take it before i got bored

i wrote this a couple weeks ago fully intending to post it on christmas eve, but then i forgot oops

but yeah w/e, enjoy


'Twas the night before Christmas
When all thro' the Archives,
Not a demon was stirring
To be slain on my pole glaives.

Spoiler

...just kidding, these fucking things were everywhere, and they were annoying as fuck

The books in their cases had filled to their brim
I can't even read them—what is this, Skyrim?
The hollows wore crystal and lived in despair
As I searched for Seath Scaleless in his frigid lair
The archers, ice golems, and that fucking mage
They did so much damage, I almost did rage...
When out in the back, there arose an elevator
I fled from those hollows; "I'll deal with them later"
Away to the ice cave, I flew like a flash
Traversing the white light, preparing to slash...

Spoiler

"oh fuck"

Seath looked so inhuman; I knew not what to do
He's out of my blade's reach, I feel like I'm screwed
My arrows take too long to get primed and ready
Do I stand a chance against this big yeti?
My firebombs don't do too much damage, I fear
Why must his attacks have more range than my spear?
I had little health left, and his damage was brutal
On my last drop of Estus, my efforts were futile
Alas, though his weakpoints had yet to be seen,
Seath's final attack enveloped the screen

and i died

"But it's not over yet," I said as I spawned back
"That battle seemed scripted, I could not avoid that!"
Yet, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
I'm locked in a prison with this bonfire here
I'd much rather not, though—so I tried to warp,
But damn, there's a blockage, some kind or some sort
Until I can find my way out, I am trapped
How'd I get here to start with—or was I kidnapped?
Whatever case may be, I needed a break
But I figured I should probably backstab this snake
It seems he was holding the key—how convenient
It's quite out-of-character for this game to be lenient


and that's when i stopped--not playing, but writing this stupid poem lmao

so yeah that was fun

i'll post a legitimate update sometime soon--i got a brand new microphone as a gift, so i can finally start making videos with vocal recordings that (hopefully) sound a lot less like complete shit

merry xmas

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For what it's worth, I disagree with the meme. The second half is different, but not bad by any means. The game is structured like a hand. You start in the palm where everything is in close proximity, dense and entirely connected. But as you progress, you end in the fingers which stand alone and don't allow you to just jump from one to the other. You can still return to the palm at any time and go into another finger, but there's no direct connections. And I can't say I really mind that. The Lordvessel lets you teleport between select bonfires anyways, and keeping connections between the fingers could disrupt the game's flow and let you miss out on key parts of the final areas which are all very memorable and distinct in their setting. There's definitely some valid complaints about it, but I don't see the increased linearity as such a bad thing. The second half is, in my opinion, still fantastic (and so is the DLC).

tbh the layout of Lordran is one of my favorite things about DKS1. It was conducive to the feeling of adventure and exploration I would experience when playing. Getting to certain areas actually felt like a real journey and just when you think you've reached the end, you stumble into a whole new giant area full of more dangerous enemies to explore that looks even more fantastic.

Spoiler

I can't forget the epic feeling I felt after defeating Quelaag and thinking, "finally I've made it to the bottom!" only to curiously walk out into the demon ruins and see lost Izalith in the distance. And that's to say nothing about Ash Lake

That feeling was lost for me with DKS2, though 3 brought it back somewhat, albeit, not a good as 1.

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I secretly hope Verb just spoke over some random recordings he found on Twitch or w/e and has just been stringing us along this whole time because he hates the game.

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Updated the OP with all my current shit.

Then:



Now:



and also...

Spoiler

ABBNING

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HERE

<- Previous update: (((Ornstein & Smough)))

Recap:
- Killed Ornstein & Smough
- Obtained the Lordvessel
- Opened the sealed gate in Anor Londo

Current missions:
- Explore the Duke's Archives
- Locate Seath the Scaleless, the Witch of Izalith, Gravelord Nito, and the Four Kings, and kill them

YouTube

Sorry, guys—had to go hollow for a bit there.

I apologize as well for my bad fashion sense there; I'm gonna be fighting a boss in this update, so while I could've dressed for the occasion, I decided to opt for the best possible armor combo that combined stats and aesthetics, and I don't really think it worked out in my favor: Eastern Helm, Silver Knight Armor, Shadow Gauntlets, Wanderer Boots—it may not be pretty, but it gave me the best stat round-off without looking completely unpresentable.

After my triumph over Ornstein & Smough, I was given several potential directions to head—and I have many areas to explore yet, like the Great Hollow, the Catacombs, and the Valley of Drakes—but ultimately, I decided to enter the previously sealed gate in Anor Londo.

But first, I had to do something—one of my friends told me that I was still missing a bonfire "early on," and it didn't take long for me to realize that I had missed the Darkmoon Tomb bonfire. I simply didn't realize the elevator could go down that far. Nonetheless, this was a bonfire I was pleased to have access to, because I had a feeling that this was my path to joining the Blades of the Darkmoon covenant—something I've been wanting to do for a very long time, because it's by far the best and most morally superior covenant. Turns out, I need to appease the statue with a special ring first, and I have no idea where to find it.

Anyway, back to the opened gate. It was here that I discovered a narrow tunnel guarded by these armored boar-like creatures.

To dispatch them, I was forced to coax them over to the entrance of the tunnel (where they couldn't hurt me) and cheese them out with Firebombs—if there was some other method of killing them that was more efficient and/or fun, I missed out on it, because these creatures thankfully do not respawn.

I made it to a messy, bluish, cold-looking room that had a bunch of conspicuous metal parts and other junk just lying around, and an elevator shaft leading up to somewhere. This somewhere ended up being the Duke's Archives, which appeared to be a massive library, for all the walls were made up of bookshelves.

The chilly, unpleasant atmosphere of this place was met with some unpleasant enemies—as soon as you make it up the shaft, these blue creatures with crystals sprouting from their bodies start whacking you with clubs. While resilient, they're easy enough to deal with on their own—it's when they gang up on you that they become a problem. Upon inspection, I realized that these creatures were simply hollows, crystallized. Because of this, their clubs and arrows did massive damage—a couple good hits, and I'm dead.

The archives were swarming with these things, which would've been bad enough, if not for the ringmaster: A lone sorcerer was firing soul arrows at me, and whenever I got close enough to hit him, he'd merely teleport away, making the clearing of this section a bit of a chore. There were a couple chests lying about—even if one of them ended up being a mimic.

I can't remember which treasures I got from where, so I'll just note everything I remember here:

• Sorcery: Strong Magic Shield - I'm not a sorcerer, obviously, so I have no real use for this.
• White Seance Ring - This thing is pretty neat, I guess—it gives me an additional attunement slot. I think for my specific build, three slots is plenty, but on the offchance that I need a fourth, it's nice to know I won't necessarily have to waste a level boosting Attunement.
• Crystalline Armor - Strong armor that's unfortunately quite ugly.
• Channeler Armor - Looks too silly for me, but it seems quite strong as well.
• Maiden Clothes - Not sure where I got these, but I don't see me wearing them any time soon. Carrying around women's clothing like this makes me feel like a weirdo.
• Fire Keeper Soul #5 - I'll talk about where I got this later.
• Crystal Knight Shield - Better than my Knight Shield, but it only has 20 durability due to being crystal.
• Symbol of Avarice - I got this from a mimic; apparently it's a pretty rare drop. When I have it on, it increases the number of souls I siphon from my fallen enemies, as well as boosts my item discovery, but it curses me until I take it off. Pretty cool, but I keep forgetting that I have it, so I haven't taken much advantage of it yet.

And perhaps some more things, too.

I eventually made my way over to this iced-over tunnel that led to a fog gate—I knew there was gonna be a boss next. And I'm thinking to myself, "Wow, that was the shortest area ever."

So, after crossing the threshold, I found myself face to face with the next boss—a giant, winged, pale abomination called Seath the Scaleless, who happened to be one of the bosses Frampt told me to go over.

He had the high ground, and I didn't quite know how to reach him, which made me a little nervous—so initially, I just used a Homeward Bone to prepare myself. I think I only had 1 or 2 gulps of Estus left. Obviously, this ended up not mattering—he has an attack that covers the whole arena, where he makes a bunch of crystals rise up from wherever you're standing, and I couldn't avoid this. I began to wonder if this was a scripted fight, or if I need to find a special weapon to take him on.


When I died, I respawned at a prison bonfire, except something was preventing me from warping out.

The following prison break is one of my new favorite sections of the game, and it has a lot of cool moments. You escape your cell simply by stabbing a snake knight that's leaning against the bars, and from there, you can take his key and get yourself out. It's kind of strange how they wouldn't take your weapons when putting you in a prison cell, but whatever.

As soon as this happens, a bunch of strange creatures from far below begin stirring, and making their way up the stairs towards you. They were bizarre-looking serpentine creatures with big blue octopuses on their heads. They weren't very threatening, either—low HP, slow movement, easy to kill. I had a harder time taking care of the snake knights in this area.

As I made my way down, gathering a bunch of keys to a bunch of other prison cells along the way, I came across a room filled with those strange creatures. I slaughtered them all one by one, except for two—I noticed that two of them were not acting hostile towards me at all (I only noticed this after stabbing one, but I immediately stopped upon noticing they weren't attacking me). They were simply cowering in a corner, making these disconcerting weeping noises. I was conflicted and very confused—they appear to be suffering, so do I put them out of their misery, or do I try to find a way to save them?

I opted to find a way to save them. I recall reading some lore text for the Channeler armor. It read:

...Even after the onset of
Seath's madness, the "snatchers" as they
were often called, ventured to far lands to
find suitable human specimens.

Are these creatures human? Are they some kind of failed experiment?

As of right now, I still have to head back there and find out what I have to do.

The last thing I remember before escaping the archives completely is finding Big Hat Logan again. He was locked up in his cell once again, and of course, I freed him. I'm still a little wary about rescuing NPCs after the Lautrec incident, but Logan gives me some pretty positive vibes. I also recovered a Fire Keeper Soul from his cell, and I'm currently at +4 Estus now.


I ended up in the Duke's backyard, or something. A sunny, grassy area barricaded by stone walls, dotted with trees, and populated exclusively with crystal golems.

One of these golems was enormous and golden, so naturally, I had to kill that one first. In doing so, I rescued somebody who happened to be trapped inside of it—a Catarina onion knight, who turned out not to be Siegmeyer, but his daughter. Oh. Well, that was a thing. I can't remember if I got anything out of it, but it was amusing.

Anyway, I made my way to an enormous blue pit made up entirely of crystal—a new area called Crystal Cavern.

***
This is around the time I took my long break. I was honestly pretty burned out, and I had a busy semester and a busy life in general over the past six months. Obviously, I'm back to playing the game now, but I'm just giving you guys an idea of my headspace during this whole section.
***

Crystal Cavern is a beautiful place, even if everything is pretty much just blue. It's fairly linear, though, and there wasn't a lot to do—it didn't even seem like there were that many items or secrets to find.

There was also this stupid shit:

YouTube

If that was FromSoftware's attempt at creating a slippery floor, that's honestly pathetic. I don't even think that's what they were trying to do—I think it's just bad collision detection, straight-up. Kind of inexcusable, and I've run into the problem several times in many other areas that have no business being "slippery" or whatever the hell this is. Damn.

I'm also not hugely into the "invisible floor" gimmick. Snowflakes will fall gently onto it, letting you know exactly where it is if you're paying the slightest bit of attention. The floors are all also completely linear, so you can just walk in a straight line, no trouble. What's the point of having an invisible floor if there's no sense of tension or danger about it? Maybe that's not what they were going for, I don't know. I wasn't into it. Majora's Mask did it better.

The cavern is also populated with a bunch of Moonlight Butterflies. The boss I had the easiest time with is now a regular enemy, should you choose to disturb their peaceful slumber. I chose not to, because I was low on Firebombs at the time, and I've generally learned to avoid fighting certain enemies if you can avoid it. I know it's kinda lame, but the game lets you do it, and there's no real penalty for it.

At the home stretch, I had to fight a bunch of these ridiculous clam monsters. They ripped my asshole apart at first, but I learned their trick right away. Though fast, strong, and resilient, their shells are quite brittle—so they get stunned within only two strikes of my spear. By comparison, a crystal golem takes six hits to get stunned. I've never really taken advantage of stun animations until recently, so that was a definite boon.

After I took care of the clams, there was just one room remaining—a spacious room where the floor is covered in white fog, and a long crystal object sits in the back of the room. Walking towards it triggers a cutscene, where Seath flies down from above to challenge you once again.

YouTube

Where to go now...

Asylum Demon
Bed of Chaos
Bell Gargoyles
Capra Demon
Ceaseless Discharge
Centipede Demon
Chaos Witch Quelaag
Crossbreed Priscilla
Dark Sun Gwyndolin
Demon Firesage
Dragon Slayer Ornstein & Executioner Smough
Four Kings
Gaping Dragon
Gravelord Nito
Gwyn, Lord of Cinder
Iron Golem
Moonlight Butterfly
Pinwheel
Seath the Scaleless
Sif, the Great Grey Wolf
Stray Demon
Taurus Demon

Feels good to cross another name off.

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If the game footage from my AMA video was any indicator, I actually have enough progress and new material to make another update within the next couple days—I don't know if I'll have another boss in the bag, but it'll be something.

Here's a list of things I could be doing right now:
- Definitely go back to the prison in Duke's Archives to check up on those abominations
- Maybe explore Crystal Cave more in case there's more shit to do
- Darkroot Garden is still way unfinished
- Go back to the asylum and find the Stray Demon, as shown in Flee's video
- Go to the Catacombs, especially since I have divine weapons now
- The Great Hollow, since I only scraped the surface of that joint
- Valley of Drakes, even though that may not be a great idea until later
- New Londo Ruins needs to be explored further
- Visit the Demon Ruins—this goes WAY back, and I haven't done jackshit here
- Find the Peculiar Doll, wherever it may be

I think I've chosen what I'm gonna do first, and it may not be the most conventional choice.

Also, I forgot to mention—I actually bought all of Oswald's Rings of Sacrifice. Apparently he only sells ten of them, and I bought and used them all. Shit. The game doesn't give you any indication whatsoever that they're limited, so I don't know what the fuck that's about. Would've been really nice to know.

What other items sold by NPCs are finite? I've met Petrus, Griggs, Laurentius, Domhnall, Burg merchant, moss lady, Andre, Oswald, Eingyi, Sen's merchant, giant blacksmith, Rickert, and Ingward.

I got fucking cursed by Seath in that first encounter and woke up in the prison with no curse removal items. Trying to get through the Archives with half health was a FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

I got fucking cursed by Seath in that first encounter and woke up in the prison with no curse removal items. Trying to get through the Archives with half health was a FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

Luckily I had just enough Purging Stones prepared for the curses not to be a huge problem.