Dark Souls Impressions - The FINAL Update

This fucking enemy's weapon just clipped through the fucking wall and killed me. I was standing, like, ten feet away from it.

I'm not gonna forget that. That's probably the angriest I've ever gotten over a death. GOD that was fucking stupid.

What bit are you on right now

What bit are you on right now

Right now, I'm just stubbornly trying to kill this Titanite Demon (you know the one--unless there's more, in which case, the first one) even though it's way too strong for me at the moment. I accrued a lot of souls, and then the bullshit above happened. Which was sOOOO not my fault.

It was a combination of the enemy's piss-poor path-finding, on top of their weapons' lack of collision detection. Fuuuuuck.

i need a break

It was a Silver Knight with a spear that killed me, I should clarify. I was backing out of his room to heal, but while I was healing, his spear went through the fucking wall and stabbed me, even though I was super far away. There's no finagling around that one--that was straight bullshit. That was the game.

I spent hours farming Anor Londo. Those Silver Knights were basically my crops.

Why is you Avatar a Clown Loach?

Why is you Avatar a Clown Loach?

apparently i thought it was funnier than it was

Why is you Avatar a Clown Loach?

apparently i thought it was funnier than it was

Verb the Loach, we need to draw you some witty fanart

Why is you Avatar a Clown Loach?

apparently i thought it was funnier than it was

that's okay nobody thought it was funny when I made my avatar Thomas Hobbes

Anor Londo's gonna be a three-parter, I've decided. Lots of shit to go over.

Despair ahead

<- Previous update: No Step on Snek

Recap:
- Made it through Sen's Fortress
- Destroyed the Iron Golem
- Made it to Anor Londo

Current missions:
- Crush
- Kill
- Destroy


(This is honestly a really boring update, so feel free to TL;DR this one. I split Anor Londo into three parts anyway.)

After successfully smiting the Iron Golem, I was promptly seized by these two pink, lanky demons who gradually flew me up to the promised land: Anor Londo. It's been a long time coming, and I didn't quite know what to expect--and after having played through it, I'm not quite sure how to feel about it, either.

Gazing upon the city itself was probably my favorite part. Its idyllic opulence coupled with the perpetual sunset makes for a stunning visual treat--and though I'm not one to labor too much over a game's graphics, I do still appreciate a pretty visual when I see one, and Anor Londo is beautiful.

However, for all its grandeur and gorgeosity, it just feels... so... empty. Like, agoraphobically empty. And very, very quiet. There's just not a whole lot going on. I'm not saying that's good or bad--it was just... strange. They give you this big-ass wide-open space to run around in towards the beginning, but there's not really much to do, except fight a few of those giant sentinel knights--and even they remain completely still until you approach them. Everything is so passive and blasé, like purgatory.

Thankfully, though, all the emptiness gave me an opportunity to reflect on myself--what I'm doing, where I'm going, how I'm going to do it--and do some general planning on the go, which hasn't always been possible in previous areas.

The sentinel knights weren't so tough. They have a bad habit of using their shield slam in the most inopportune of moments, after which I can counterattack with a strong punish. Fighting two at once is pretty fun, though.

Interestingly, I appear to have reached the point in the game where previous bosses are just regular enemies now. A gargoyle not unlike the bell gargoyles I slayed a few months ago could be seen flying around the city. I managed to cut its tail off again, but I didn't get anything out of it this time. Unfortunately, he doesn't respawn when you kill him--and I say "unfortunately" because he was essentially my only company in this part of the city. So fucking empty.

The only friendly face I saw as a Fire Keeper leaning against a wall in her bonfire room. She didn't have a lot to say--not that I expected much, but seeing her in the first place was kind of odd. To my understanding, every bonfire has a Fire Keeper, but there have only been  small handful of occasions where I've actually met the Fire Keeper: This one, Quelaag's sister, and the one in Firelink Shrine.

Oh, wait. That one's dead. I still have to avenge her. Hopefully I'll be able to find and kill Lautrec soon--I haven't forgotten about that.


Off in the distance was a castle, which my critical path was no-doubt headed towards. My forward path was thwarted, however, by this unique bridge mechanism which was malfunctioning. The midsection of the bridge is designed kind  like an elevator--it ascends on the pull of a switch, and from there, it'll connect itself to some cathedral's balcony on the left. If you wanted to get to the other side, you'd have to descend the bridge first. Unfortunately for me, the bridge was stuck in its ascended position, so I had to figure out a way to bring it back down.

I tried finding a way to that balcony. Through a broken window, I managed to sneak into that cathedral--until I was greeted by these mysterious white-garbed hostiles armed with throwing knives. They were pretty pathetic, to be honest. I think they're supposed to be ninjas, but they do such a shitty job. They had strength in numbers, though, for there was a massive collection of them down on the first floor of the cathedral.

Way up on the second floor, the only way to make it to the furthest balcony was to walk along some narrow boards--which were populated with more knife-throwers, of course--and a big-ass chandelier as the centerfold. I wasn't really in the mood for suffering a hundred-meter drop, so instead of fighting the ninjas head on, I decided to pick them off one by one with a few arrows. As I was priming each arrow, those fucking idiots just STARED at me the entire time, without even attempting to move away. That's one of those dumb video-game-y things that people just kinda accept, but personally, it kinda takes a small toll on the immersion. Which sucks--because Anor Londo really sucks you in--but stuff like that just takes me right out.

As I made my way across, I noticed I could probably cut the chandelier's support to make it crash down, so I did. I'm sure the ninjas on the first floor appreciated that.

Eventually, I did make it over to that balcony, where I was able to finally lower the bridge--after slaying another gargoyle, of course. Not only did I lower the bridge, disconnecting it from the cathedral's balcony--it also held a spiral staircase going downwards from its center. It led to the first floor of the cathedral, where I was able to see the damage I had done by dropping that chandelier on top of those ninjas.

There were still a lot of them, which made them harder to deal with that I anticipated, but shit if that wasn't fun to do.

I don't remember exactly what items I picked up throughout this portion of the game, but rest assured, I picked up a lot of stuff. I remember picking up a set of Black Iron armor, but nothing else jumps out of my head.


Prominently anointed in the back of the cathedral was a massive painting. I could tell this was an important painting, because it's the only one I've been able to interact with so far. In this case, I was given the option to "examine" it--which did nothing--and then I knew.

Since this thread's creation, I've heard whispers of this so-called "Painted World." A lot of people seem to be wondering whether I'll be able to find this area. Well, guys, I believe I found it: This painting will lead me to the Painted World--I'm almost dead certain. Now, it's just a matter of figuring out how to get there. I can't seem to simply jump into it, Super Mario 64-style--but I think I have one good hint.

You see, I've always been very attentive to the game's loading screens. They allow you to read the descriptions of some rare or powerful items, and for all I know, there could be some important information in there. As it turns out, there is a special item that appears on occasion during these loading screens that serves as the game's sole acknowledgement (as far as I know) of this "Painted World": the Peculiar Doll.

Its description:

A strange doll in strange dress.

There once was an abomination who had
no place in this world. She clutched this
doll tightly, and eventually was drawn into
a cold and lonely painted world.

So, basically, I need to find this doll.

Where could it be? Don't answer that, because I haven't the faintest idea.

One thing's for certain: it's nowhere in fucking Anor Londo. I look around every corner, every crevice, stabbed every wall that I could, and I never found the bloody thing. So, it seems like I'll have to search elsewhere. I don't know if I'll ever find it, but I really really want to--I just hope it's not behind any illusory walls.

...It probably is...

*****Must resist urge to tell Verb where it is*****

Hint but not at all a spoiler:

Spoiler

If you're looking for the Peculiar Doll, and feel like you've looked everywhere, you might want to consider checking somewhere you haven't been in a while.

^^^^Can confirm that is vague enough to not be a spoiler^^^

The doll is in the hunters dream duh


Oh fuck wrong game

She was INSIDE the Taurus Demon. You were supposed to do the Konami code while plunge attacking during your I-Frames of rolling

Sorry but you have no way to progress the game, rip the run

But for real,

Spoiler

Things have changed since you've been gone.

Restart

I don't remember exactly what items I picked up throughout this portion of the game, but rest assured, I picked up a lot of stuff. I remember picking up a set of Black Iron armor, but nothing else jumps out of my head.

picking up a set of Black Iron armor

Black Iron armor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIuotFZnBtk

Quick question before I post something.

This playthrough has been 95% blind, which is pretty pure, and I'd like to maintain that--but, without spoiling too much, it's become apparent to me that there are a lot more boss weapons I can make than I initially thought. I figured one boss soul would translate to just one boss weapon. As it turns out, there are many, and there are certainly some that I'm not even aware of.

Would it be acceptable, then, to look up all of the boss weapons I can produce with the souls that I have? I don't really want to burn these souls on something that I may not end up liking, so looking them up would take away that fear--but it would also compromise a little bit of blindness. So, I dunno.

What do?

Quick question before I post something.

This playthrough has been 95% blind, which is pretty pure, and I'd like to maintain that--but, without spoiling too much, it's become apparent to me that there are a lot more boss weapons I can make than I initially thought. I figured one boss soul would translate to just one boss weapon. As it turns out, there are many, and there are certainly some that I'm not even aware of.

Would it be acceptable, then, to look up all of the boss weapons I can produce with the souls that I have? I don't really want to burn these souls on something that I may not end up liking, so looking them up would take away that fear--but it would also compromise a little bit of blindness. So, I dunno.

What do?

Dark Souls is built around the idea of community effort; it's not like playing Fallout or Half-Life where looking up the answers is "cheating". I'd say that it was likely a design intention for players to share that kind of information.

Briefly then: don't feel like you need to ask about it, but don't count it against yourself if you do.

<- Previous update: Painted Preliminary

Recap:
- Found the portal to the Painted World

Current missions:
- Explore Anor Londo further


All right. It's been a minute since I've played, so I'm trying to jog my memory here. The school semester began for me last week, and we sort of hit the ground running, so I haven't had a lot of time to play. I think I mentioned splitting the Anor Londo update into three parts, so... this would be the second part, I guess.

I think this is about where we left off:

As I approached that formidable-looking castle and slayed the two sentinels guarding its entrance, I was dismayed yet unsurprised to discover that the front gates were sealed shut. Though both sides just outside the castle were blocked off by two sets of metal bars, the one on the right had been mysteriously busted open--its door lay on the ground, busted off its hinges (or at least, that's what I remember seeing).

Along this path, I was jumped by a group of lanky pink demons--the same kind that flew me over to Anor Londo in the first place. These ones, however, were hostile spear-wielders with electrical capabilities. They were easy enough to dispatch--I'm far better at wielding a spear than them, it seems. They're also quite stupid, lemming-style; it's very easy to lure or even just push them off ledges and shit. Which makes no sense. Like, come the fuck on--they have wings, for fuck's sake. Why can't they just fly up and rescue themselves? There's no excuse for that. I feel like these enemies could've been a lot tougher and more annoying if they had the unique ability to save themselves from falling off cliffs and shit, but no.

It's this kind of thing that takes me out of the game a little bit, because it's not even a logical oversight. Oh well. I don't wanna harp on it too much, because I did enjoy this area of the game overall. But that did bother me--and this is an impressions thread, after all.

Anyway, I think you all know what's coming up next.

Upon slaying the last pink demon, I heard the distinct thwack of an arrow being fired at me from a distance. Instinctively, I took cover behind a large pillar and hastily panned the camera around to see where the shots were coming from. Another thwack--with careful observation, I spotted the archer off in the distance. He looked like a black knight--but I had never encountered a black knight archer before. And it looks like there's more than one.

Another arrow--this time, feeling a bit brazen, I decided to just block it with my shield, and--WOAH, FUCK. That one had some serious force behind it. After being knocked back a good three meters, as well as taking a big healthy chunk of chip damage, I realized that shit had just gotten real. This has officially become a situation.

I looked ahead. In order to reach them, I had to scamper up a series of, uh... flying buttresses (any architecture nerds can correct me if I'm wrong there), just like before. Only this time, I had to dodge a stream of these industrial-strength arrows. This was easier than I thought it was, but now I have two black knights to kill: one on the left, and one on the right. The one on the left was guarding an item corpse--so, naturally, that's the first one I went for.

I got close enough to the knight to realize that his armor was not black--it was grey, or maybe silver, so I opted to call them grey knights instead (yes, I later discovered that they're called silver knights). Time to discover whether these knights are stronger or weaker than their black counterparts. He unsheathed his sword, and... I was blasted off the edge by the other knight.

Thankfully, that was actually my only death against these bastards. On my second attempt, even though I had five digits worth of souls on the line, I decided to leave them behind to try out a new strategy that I never usually do: BUMRUSH. I sprinted up to the rightside knight, and just fucking wailed on him. For some reason, the knight on the left must not be a very good shot--because I wasn't hit by any of his shots.

Though my onslaught was fierce, the knight was hoist by his own petard--as I deflected his strikes, he was forced off the ledge by the blowback of his own attacks. Newton's Third Law, bitch. Now, not only am I in the clear to kill the other knight without being sandwiched, I can also recover all my souls. This was a triumph.

I later learned that the Anor Londo archers were actually considered so difficult by some players, that even Miyazaki himself admitted that they may have been "a little much," which just makes the fact that I got past them in two attempts all the nicer.


With the castle successfully infiltrated, I found myself in a corridor with a spiral staircase and many unopened doors. I'll play this part in fast-forward--I'll just talk about all the neat stuff I found.

• I met up with Solaire at a bonfire. He didn't have much to do or say, but it was good to see him alive, I suppose.
• Found a hidden room. It was mostly empty and very dark, except for these five treasure chests--one of which was a mimic. The other chests contained Havel's everything--armor, greatshield, and a Dragon Tooth, which I thought was pretty surprising. I've seen dragons before in this game, but to my understanding, none of them have been "true" dragons, or "everlasting" dragons. This tooth belonged to an everlasting dragon. Dang.
• Slayed another Titanite Demon. This one was a son of a bitch to kill, and I didn't get a lot out of it, so I'm just mentioning it here because I'm still kind of salty about that.
• Found some more useless real-world money (Gold & Silver coins). Perhaps I'll find a use for these soon. Maybe not.
• Apart from getting the Silver Knight's armor set, I also managed to kill enough Silver Knights to earn a Silver Knight Straight Sword, and a few of their badass Dragonslayer arrows. Come to think of it, I bet I could use these against the hydra! That'll be so dope.
  
• Met up with Seigmeyer again, to my delight. As always, he was in a bit of a kerfuffle. It seemed a group of silver knights were giving him some grief, so I slayed them all for him. During the skirmish, however, one of the knights used a dastardly tactic--he walked near poor Seigmeyer, making it difficult for me to avoid stabbing him--and, indeed, I did stab him on accident during the fight.  That's gonna be a sin I'll have to pay for, but Seigy didn't seem to mind. He still rewarded me with a Tiny Being's RIng for my efforts. Hey, wait... That was my starting gift...
• Eventually, I found myself in the entrance hall of the entire castle. It was at this point that my Black Eye Orb started rattling. Yup, it's time for me to kill that son of a bitch, Lautrec. I needed some time to come up with a suitably sadistic strategy, first--and I needed all my Estus back. Not to mention, a magical variety of those sentinel guards outside of the castle were here, and they weren't fucking around. They're the hardest enemies I've had to deal with in Anor Londo so far, so Lautrec can wait a little longer before I invade his bitch ass.
• I found the giant blacksmith. This was huge, because not only does he know how to imbue weapons with lightning and other cool shit--he also knows how to harvest the souls of bosses and make powerful weapons with them. I haven't made any just yet, because you need to sacrifice one of your strongest weapons to do that, which is a pretty big commitment. I wasn't about to sacrifice any of my +10s, but I did buy some Moonlight Arrows and Lightning Bolts.
• Found a nice Dragonslayer Bow to go with my DS Arrows.
• Opened up the front gates. Now I can enter this castle whenever I want.

With all that said and done, there was only one more thing left to do before I fought the boss: Invade Lautrec.

And invade him I did. He was a lot tougher than I imagined he would be, but only because he had a couple of cronies at his side. Still, I wanted to kill him as stylishly as possible, so I ended up using a lot of very impractical strategies (and yes, I threw a couple Firebombs).

Sadly, however, the footage itself was corrupted in such a way that doesn't allow commentary to be recorded over it. I don't fucking know, man. When I try to edit the video file, this is all that shows up on WMM. Why am I using WMM?... I dunno. It does work, occasionally. Just not this time.

Oh well, at least we have the footage. Just no commentary again. You don't even have to bother watching--I posted it unlisted on my other channel, because I don't wanna have too many commentary-less videos on my main channel, you feel me? Anyway, here it is:

YouTube

The fight itself begins at 2:00. The first two minutes were there for the sake of build-up, but it just looks awkward without commentary. Sorry about that.

About the invasion itself. Just to make things clear--I know what I've said about invasions in the past, and I stand by everything that I've ever said about them. It's different here, because I'm invading an NPC. Plus, I'm doing it for the sake of retribution. Lautrec killed an innocent Fire Keeper for his own personal gain. So he must die. Simple as that.

The strategy I went with was to focus on the sorcerer to his right. He's the one with the ranged attacks, so it would be wise to take him out first. Then the spear-wielder. Then Lautrec himself. All on one health bar, too, because Spirits of Vengeance are not permitted to heal themselves.

Backstabs, dash attacks, rolling attacks, and jumping attacks were utilized, as well as Fire Bombs and Fire Orbs. I even equipped both my Eagle Shield and my Grass Crest Shield. I intended to switch between the two so that I could attempt to finish Lautrec off with a parry, but that ended up not working out. Lautrec's weapon seemed rather unique--it pierced through my shield on occasion, which made the fight nominally difficult--but I pulled through after the fifth or sixth try. I could've done it even earlier if I wasn't trying to style on him, but there you go.

After giving him what he deservedI took back the Fire Keeper's soul (how has he not consumed it already?). to show how metal I am, I cut off his fucking ear as proof of my victory. Blades of the Darkmoon, can you hear me?


With the Firekeeper avenged, there was nothing standing between me and the boss of Anor Londo now.

Well, there's a couple of magical sentinel guards, I guess. But you know what I mean.

And yeah, I promise, I will have commentary for this next boss video. Stay tuned, and such.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how clenched was your ass at the end of the fight

On a scale of 1 to 10 how clenched was your ass at the end of the fight

Solid 8/10. That jumping strike at the end to finish him off was risky, and I thought I fucked it up--but hearing the blade pierce the skin was a degree higher than satisfying.

All right, recording commentary for the next boss fight now. This is gonna be a fun one.

I was probably one or two recorded lines away from putting this video up, and then I was disrupted

Ah well. I'll have it up by tomorrow, guaranteed.

Spoiler

I was probably one or two recorded lines away from putting this video up, and then I was disrupted

Ah well. I'll have it up by tomorrow, guaranteed.

Spoiler

how is movie maker running on your computer? is it really laggy like mine?

i'm wondering if it's because i need a new computer or not.

how is movie maker running on your computer? is it really laggy like mine?

i'm wondering if it's because i need a new computer or not.

HORRIBLY

Don't worry about your computer. WMM is freeware that is notorious for sucking. I'm just too cheap/lazy to use anything better. That, and it gets the job done--my videos aren't terribly demanding, editing-wise.

You could legally obtain something like Sony Vegas if you're serious about editing some stuff, though.

Also, what are you doing in this thread? Are you playing Dark Souls I?

Also, what are you doing in this thread? Are you playing Dark Souls I?

I find the conversation in between your updates interesting. As for the updates themselves, I haven't read any of them. I have DS1 on my shelf but I haven't been assed to play it yet. I just started work so I have limited time to play, and the TV my PS3 is connected to has horrible input lag.

<- Previous update: The Darkmoon Rises

Recap:
- Explored the cathedral of Anor Londo
- Found the giant blacksmith
- Killed Lautrec of Carim

Current missions:
- Slay Dragonslayer Ornstein & Executioner Smough


All right, guys--here we are. This was my most challenging fight--by far. As such, I tried adding a little bit more color into my commentary than I usually do. This particular boss is significant, because it represents the end of the first half of the game. I've been told that the second half has received mixed reception overall--I'm very eager to see why.

Anyways, here's the video:

YouTube

What a perfect thumbnail--I don't use custom ones, either. It just turned out that way.


Phew. Now, I know what I said the beginning of the video--I said that I had beaten the most difficult boss in the game. But at the same time, I'm well aware that there will be even greater challenges just ahead--so I'll be prepared for that. All I know right now is that Ornstein & Smough made all the previous bosses look like child's play.

So, I'm pretty sure you all know what happens next: I met up with Gwynevere, from whom I was bequeathed my long-sought-after Lordvessel. With this, I get the COOLEST ABILITY EVER: Warping between bonfires. This takes me back to the first time I was able to use Fly in Pokémon. It's so freeing.

I took the Lordvessel back to Firelink Shrine and presented it to Kingseeker Frampt, who promptly swallowed me(!) and took me down into a place called Firelink Altar. Frampt has always had a pants-shittingly unnerving design, which is all the more exacerbated when he's hanging upside down from the ceiling. Anyway, I planted the vessel at the altar and was tasked with a vague new mission.

I have to seek and destroy four new bosses, wherever they may be:
- Seath the Scaleless
- Gravelord Nito
- The Witch of Izalith
- The Four Kings

Not necessarily in that order, of course--at this point in the game, I can basically head in any direction that I want.

Well, after completing my mission at Anor Londo, the great golden seal near the courtyard that was blocking a path to somewhere was finally broken. I think I neglected to mention this seal back in a previous update, but yeah. That's where I instinctively headed next--to a place that would later be identified as the Duke's Archives.

Major Boss Hitlist

Asylum Demon
Bed of Chaos
Bell Gargoyles
Black Dragon Kalameet
Capra Demon
Ceaseless Discharge
Centipede Demon
Chaos Witch Quelaag
Crossbreed Priscilla
Dark Sun Gwyndolin
Demon Firesage
Dragon Slayer Ornstein & Executioner Smough
Four Kings
Gaping Dragon
Gravelord Nito
Gwyn, Lord of Cinder
Iron Golem
Knight Artorias
Manus, Father of the Abyss
Moonlight Butterfly
Pinwheel
Sanctuary Guardian
Seath the Scaleless
Sif, the Great Grey Wolf
Stray Demon
Taurus Demon