So my friend can be somewhat... oblivious... to things, social conventions and ways in which one ought to behave etc etc. Now we were at the gates of the meiji shrine (Big important shrine in Tokyo) and we'd been walking for a few hours already that day. There was a big tree, massive bloody thing which provided lots of shade just near the giant torii gates so we were waiting there. My friend was tired and wanted to sit down, but obviously he didn't want to just sit in the mud and rocks so he squatted down on his haunches for a moment.

Not a second had passed before a horrified looking security guard came flying out of the toll booth and was firing off a stream of Japanese then he switched to Engrish and said 'No No No sit there, stop it.' Which left my friend rather terrified and the rest of us rather amused. The guard then went back to his hut and carried on guarding stuff (Reading the paper)

We went further into the shrine and after wandering around the place we were at the restrooms, now all of the toilets were traditional ones. Which was fine if you needed to piss but well, it looked like a slit trench with porcelain in it. After we all met back up at the gift shop I quietly pointed out to my friend that what he had been doing was looking exactly like someone taking a crap in a Jap toilet, right next to these sacred gates. 'No No No sit there, stop it.'

The japs don't have a Si sound they have a Shi sound. Soooo you can fill in what his engrish sounded like <_<